Wanted
by Anadabyel
Summary: Bella discovers after a wild night with old friends that she has been lied to for years. She must heal herself from the betrayals, but once she does will she be able to help her friends as well? OOC/AU/AH Lots of lemons/adult language. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer... I like the names in the Twilight Saga so I use them over and over again. But I don't own them, SM does.**

_**Summary- After a party during Christmas break from college the old gang gets back together for a bonding session that brings them all closer then any could have imagined. Or at least that is what Bella thought. J/B/E/R/Em and that's just the first chapter...All Human/Alternate Universe/ OOC...Team Perv...always **_

**Players....Bella, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward**

Wanted By Anadabyel

BPOV

Midnight, January 3. The party was finally winding down. Only most of the members of my group were left in my living room. Everyone was going to be heading back to school in the next few days. It had been nice to have everyone back over the Christmas break. I missed them.

My dad's house was trashed but Jasper, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett all said they would help me clean it up tomorrow. So that was good. They were the ones I missed anyway.

After graduation two and half years ago we had lost touch. At least I had.

I hadn't come back to Forks from Boulder since I got there. I wanted to be on the fast track so I could graduate early and get into medical school. Edward was doing the same thing in Philadelphia. Jasper went back to Texas and only came back for this break because Rosalie begged him to see their parents. She and Emmett had lost touch when she stayed here in Washington and went to UW while Emmett went to play for the Fighting Irish.

Our little group was spread all through the country and this was the first time we had been back together since graduation a year and a half ago. _Crazy. _

The last one Alice, refused to come back. Her breakup with Jasper apparently had just been so overwhelming right before graduation when we all left for college she was literally never heard from again. She was going to New York, don't know if she ever made it.

Me and Rosalie both thought she was a little overly dramatic about the whole thing, since all he did was go to a strip club with our boyfriends. We didn't even care at that time. As many strip clubs as I've been to now I still don't. I actually want to go with these guys sometime. We also had to agree that they had fucked our brains out when they got back so what was so bad about it? Alice disagreed and never spoke to us again after the graduation party anyway.

Tonight was nice and easy. None of us were trying to rekindle anything which was comforting.

We were just acting like friends. When I had gotten back in town and called Edward he had sounded a little apprehensive about the party, but I tried to reassure him I was dating someone new at school and just missed him and the guys. He was relieved and explained to me that he had just gotten over a breakup with his freshman year girlfriend and was thankful all I wanted to do was hang out.

Emmett and Rosalie, well I really doubt they would ever be over completely. The minute they saw one another they ran to my bedroom and for a quicky. But after that they hardly looked each others way again since.

They better get my bedspread dry cleaned anyway.

In high school although I genuinely loved Edward, I had always pined for his friend and most popular boy at our school Jasper Hale. He was blond and beautiful, with the sexiest damn voice ever.

I had heard him speak before I met any of them when we were sophomore's. Emmett and Edward were both popular and I was a book nerd. Jasper and Rosalie had just moved to Fork's from Texas, and Alice had gone to a private girls school in Port Angeles and was now attending public school.

I ended up in that class with all the popular kids because I had the weakest little voice on the planet. My father wanted me to start taking public speaking classes so I could at least be heard when I gave diagnosis', since I desperately wanted to be a doctor.

It was the first day of our sophomore year and I saw that all these popular kids were in my speech class. I had panicked. But they had all been nice to me for some reason.

Mr. Banner the teacher asked for volunteers to read aloud from the Declaration of Independence, and it was Jasper that raised his hand first. His voice sounded so strong and sexy. He looked like sex on legs. I had never felt that way about anyone before. I just figured I would remain a virgin my entire life.

After class Alice and Rosalie approached me regarding a study group with the other guys. I quietly agreed, and my blush is what caught Edward's eye. From that day on the six of us were inseparable.

Until near the end of senior year when the guys went to a strip club in Seattle and then Jasper and Alice's constant bickering was annoying everyone.

Rosalie was mad at Emmett for applying to schools half way across the country and Edward and I decided we both needed to spread our wings and date others. Our break up had been the easiest out of the group. We were the only ones that spoke amongst our group of girls versus guys at the graduation party at La Push First Beach.

Everything was good now. We all had our lives, but we had missed one another. Tonight had been great. Most of us back together. Although we had been surrounded by all the rest of our graduating class.

Being with these people always made me feel like I was home.

Jasper and Edward were still downing shots of Patron Silver and Emmett was trying to find the perfect music for our re-connect session as he was calling it.

Whatever.

Call it what you like I was too drunk. And I still had to clean this mess of a house before my dad got back from his Vegas weekend tomorrow before I went back to Colorado the following evening.

Everybody better keep their promise and help me clean this mess.

Rosalie was moving to the music that Emmett had finally picked out, as he made his way back over to my father's bar for another shot.

Rosalie started swaying her hips very suggestively, but more surprisingly she was looking at me with lustful eyes.

Huh? This was unexpected. She started working her way over to me and grabbing my hand that rested on my knee, pulling me up to dance with her.

I finally realized the song was Kings of Leon, Notion. The beat was intoxicating or maybe it was my dancing partner. I allowed my body to move to the beat.

Rosalie put her hands on my hips but leaned her upper body back so we were pushing our hips into each other, working them back and forth. I couldn't tell you what the next song was because suddenly Rosalie brought her hand behind my head bringing my face level with hers and began kissing me.

I had never kissed a girl. This was probably one of the most amazing sensations I had ever experienced, ever. Everything about it was soft and gentle. My panties were immediately soaked from this kiss. Both of us let our hands wander and caress the others breasts.

With our hips still grinding into one another I then felt strong hands on my breasts from behind, and someone with stubble on their chin kissing across the side of my neck.

Rosalie was apparently getting felt up too since whoever hands were on her would also feel my breasts.

I kept my eyes closed letting these erotic movements and feelings just let me feel like floating away.

My shirt was slowly being unbuttoned and Rosalie's was being lifted over her head causing us to break our kiss. I didn't want to but I decided to see who was where.

Rosalie leaned in and began kissing my chest and licked along my the lace of my bra. Without hesitation I returned the favor. My hips and ass were pulled into a hard erection behind me.

Edward was beside us, between Rosalie and I going back and forth kissing both of our necks, and it was Emmett behind Rosalie. I should have figured even in my drunken stupor the taboo of sister and brother would not have been blurred. So that meant it was my secret crush that was the one touching me and slowly removing my shirt. Internally I was jumping for joy.

Tonight was about sin all of a sudden.

I had no problem with that and apparently none of the people in the room with me did either.

Jasper pulled my head back by my hair and crashed his lips to mine. Forcing his tongue in to explore my mouth and battle with my own tongue. I was then pulled from Rosalie's embrace and in the arms of her brother. A place that strangely felt like I fit perfectly.

I felt myself being forced to the ground, my legs bending like a Barbie dolls, not a whole lot of grace. Emmett and Edward already had Rosalie on the floor one removing her pants while the other was wrapped up in her arms kissing and massaging her breasts.

All the boys' shirts were gone. There was nothing but incredible pecks and stomach muscles everywhere.

Jasper worked my legs apart with his knees putting all his incredible weight on me while he explored my breasts with his hands and mouth. I don't even know when my bra exited the picture but that's okay.

I closed my eyes just to feel the amazing sensation of Jasper's warmth on my body. He was kissing and licking, and even biting my skin. It was heaven.

I opened my eyes to see Emmett over me upside down and he was smiling. With those dimples it was impossible not to smile back. He went for my ear and began whispering while Jasper started working lower on me getting my jeans off.

"Bella, will you and Rosie fuck? And, um sweetie we want to fuck both of you." Jasper came up at that moment and slipped his fingers inside me.

I gasped at the sensation.

"Since they're gonna fuck her, I get to fuck you twice." Jasper said with a commanding voice to me.

"God yes!" I answered all their questions and statements with that.

I whimpered when I looked into Jasper's smoky blue eyes.

He smiled at me seductively.

I was lucky I could say that because Jasper was working and curling his fingers in and out of me finding my G spot with expert knowledge and precision. I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer for me to kiss him. He obliged me passionately.

"We are all gonna fuck _you_ Bella." Edward said as he went down on Rosalie causing her to scream and laugh from her position next to me on the floor.

"So I'll fuck Rosie twice." Emmett said as he went for my tits with his mouth.

I can imagine that this looked like an amateur pornography film with two girls sprawled on the floor with one guy in between working both sets of tits and a guy each in between the legs of the girls.

But who cares!

I started to feel my walls clench from Jasper working me with his fingers and his tongue on my clit, but instead of letting me come he got up on his knees and throwing one of my legs over his right shoulder and forcing his amazing cock all the way inside me. He waited for nothing and just began pumping me with incredible force.

I could from my peripheral vision see that Rosalie was now on her knees with Edward fucking her from behind while she was giving Emmett a blow job.

Jasper didn't let me loose too much attention on him with increasing his rhythm and forcing himself deeper in me, which felt amazing. Grabbing my hips he pulled me closer he started moving faster. I bent my leg slightly causing me to move on him harder. He grunted. God his sex sounds were amazingly erotic. I must have screamed and this sent him over the edge he was clinging to. We both dropped over saying screaming each other's names. His lips and voice interlacing mine with a series of profanities.

I got to rest from the most amazing orgasm of my entire life for mere seconds when I heard my high school sweetheart who had just finished fucking my best friend called over for me.

"Bella baby, come here." I looked over through my heavy breathing to see that Edward was leaving his place inside Rosalie and wanted me to take his place. Jasper offered me a hand and I crawled over to lean in between Rosalie's legs where she was now laying on her back. Our eyes locked and without saying a word, this was something both of us had wanted to try anyway she nodded at me.

So in the safety of this den of sin and debauchery we smiled at one another and I let my mouth fall onto her wet slit I began working her with my tongue and teeth ever so lightly.

Rosalie was a lover of the Brazilian wax which she had gotten me and Alice to both try while we were still in high school. I stuck with it, but apparently Rosalie was now going all the way with everything and was completely bare.

I began using my tongue and circled her clit slowly using my fingers to spread her lips wide. Using my elbows for leverage I felt someone's huge dick enter me from behind.

Edward came to straddle Rosalie's chest effectively getting a blow job and a titty fuck.

From memory he did love that position.

Jasper had moved to the couch with his eyes pinned on me stroking his beautiful dick.

Then I knew it was Emmett who was fucking me and pinching my nipples from underneath.

Once my eyes went to Jasper I couldn't take them off him.

He didn't take his off me either.

He wanted me. Although that could be because he had no desire to see his sister fucked by his two best friends. I decided to settle with the former. Because I wanted him again. And again.

There would be no embarrassment for my activity and no repercussions from this night. It was our Caligula.

We had abandoned innocence at the door before we were even aware of it.

Emmett came pulling my hips so I was completely seated on his lap forcing me up from Rosalie's pussy, making my tits bounce wildly.

Emmett used my hair and pulled me back for a scorching kiss and he licked my face clean.

As Edward got his blow job finished by Rosalie, I watched Jasper still stroking his dick watching me.

He and the other boys had their jeans still on. They had just pulled their pants down enough to free their cocks and removed their shirts.

Still a lazy bunch of boys.

Damn.

But...

Jasper was beautiful.

I wanted him. Again.

I started to crawl over to him on all fours.

He smiled lazily at me.

Once there I took over for him on stroking his dick.

I slipped my mouth over the tip and swirled the pre-cum along with my saliva over and around it.

I started to move my mouth along the sides of his cock with the harmonica technique, he moved his hand to my hair and pulled me closer. Guiding his dick with his one hand and my head with the other, I took him completely in my mouth. Relaxing my throat as I started bobbing my head. He never took his eyes from mine.

Two hands were tracing my nipples from behind pulling me from my trance which was Jasper's blue eyes and I felt a hard shaft being pushed into my core.

Edward lifted me slightly to make it easier on both of us due to his height and my non height.

I never let Jasper's cock out of my mouth only sucking harder.

He closed his eyes and hissed rubbing my the sides of neck with his hands. I used one of my hands to gently go deeper into his pants and play with his sack.

"Oh baby, goddamn that feels so good Bella." Jasper silken voice said to me. I smiled inwardly. If I could never have him again I wanted it to be a pleasing memory.

Edward felt amazing, college had taught him a lot. His even stokes in and out of me felt amazing. I was having a hard time not climaxing, but I wanted Jasper to come in my mouth. I wanted to suck him dry.

"Bella you are amazing. I am not giving you up again." Edward whispered in my ear. Apparently college had taught me some things too. _What was that last part?_

Finally I could hold on no longer. My walls began to clench and twitch and I felt Edward's dick explode inside me, and then Jasper's hot stream began flowing down my throat. As I moaned and writhed.

I couldn't miss one drop.

Edward and I fell backwards, me falling on his chest.

He started laughing. It was infections, because so did I. Jasper smiled sweetly at me.

Emmett and Rosalie still on the floor were now finishing their last session of the night with Rosalie riding Emmett.

"Fuck!" Rosalie screamed. "Why the fuck did I ever let you go?"

"I don't know! You fuckin drive me nuts!" Emmett answered loudly.

Which made the three of us on the other side of the room laugh harder.

They screamed each other's names as they both came loudly.

Finally the brother in the room had had enough.

"Jesus Rose! Put some clothes on! I am gonna need therapy." Jasper yelled at his sister. She smiled and winked at him as she dismounted her ex-boyfriend.

"What about Bella?" Rosalie asked her brother smiling me. I just shook my head as I started to look for my shirt.

"Naw, she should stay just like that all the time. Isn't that right guys?" Jasper drawled. I turned to look at Jasper and smiled. I heard Edward and Emmett both agree.

"I can't find my bra!" I yelled. I wrapped my other shirt around me. I looked back at Jasper who was holding my bra on his finger wiggling his eyebrows at me. "Thank you." I said as I grabbed it.

Rosalie whistled.

"You are very welcome, lovely Bella. And I would like to say thank you." He used his accent and incredible voice with effect.

I smiled shyly at him.

As we all got dressed, sobriety had taken the haze off the orgy that just taken place. No body was making eye contact right now.

"Well fuck! That was fun!" Leave it to Emmett to lighten the mood. "Bella you can count me in at all of your parties from here till the end of time." He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

That got everyone smiling and laughing again.

"I will be seeing you again." Emmett whispered in my ear. I looked up him and smiled, I was a little confused, gotta be the post cum euphoria.

First they better keep their promise and help me with this damn house.

"So you guys are still gonna help me clean this place up right?" I smiled and batted my eyelashes.

Emmett pulled me into his signature bear hugs. "Well now, let's see, you pretty little sex kitten and your hot ass friend here just got three guys to come a shit load, so we might need to take a nap here and there. But hell yeah!"

With that we all worked on the different rooms and got my father's house cleaned and ready for him to return without me being in any trouble.

I was finishing cleaning up in the kitchen leaning over the sink when I felt two strong arms go around my waist and stroke over my stomach. I recognized the scent now. He smelled like evergreens and a fresh rainfall. He smelled like a god.

I leaned back to feel his chest too.

"Colorado huh?" Jasper said quietly into my hair.

"Yeah." I smiled, thinking of the implications of his question.

"Not to far from Texas, maybe we could see each other again?" It was a request more than anything. I turned around to face my secret crush and wrapped my fingers in his beautiful curls. Breathing him in again.

"I would like that."

Jasper licked his lips and leaned in to gently kiss me. He started to deepen the kiss and lick along my lower lip. I opened my mouth to feel his wet warmth and let my mind wonder that this could have actually have led to something more with the God of Forks High School.

I heard the footsteps of our friends enter the kitchen but I didn't want this kiss to end yet.

"_Ahem_. Can you please release my horny brother for a few minutes. Damn who knew you were such a slut Bella?" Rosalie scolded.

We all laughed but Jasper didn't let go of me which I appreciated.

Although tonight was about fun and abandon. Feeling him wanting something more with me meant the world to me. Even if it was only closeness for a little while longer.

As Edward and Emmett took out the last of the trash Rosalie went through the house making sure everything was in place.

Jasper released me after everyone left the kitchen. He leaned on the counter while I finished cleaning up my dad's kitchen. We stayed in there sneaking glances at each other every few seconds. Smiling.

"When are you going back to Colorado?" Rosalie asked me when she walked through the kitchen.

"Tonight. I gotta leave around six from Port Angeles." I answered mostly for Jasper's benefit.

"Damn I wish you could have come to Seattle for a couple days."

"Yeah, maybe next time. I would really like that." I said smiling back at her.

Rosalie came over and we hugged one another. She walked back out of the kitchen. Hopefully Rosalie and I could keep our friendship. I really missed her.

I slowly allowed my eyes to look back at Jasper, who was looking at me intently.

"So when are you leaving back for Texas?" I asked.

"Tomorrow afternoon. I have a layover in Denver though." He said and grinned at me.

My stomach did a few flip flops from that beautiful smile he just threw at me. I had to choose my words wisely, and not let my voice squeak.

"How long is the layover?" I asked with as strong a voice I could muster.

"As long as we want it to be."

**AN- Hey I went for a five way...I had to take notes to see who was with who at different points.**

**This was only going to be a one shot for a friend, but I got so many requests for a story on FFFW I decided to give it a shot. This story went all kinds of different directions after I wrote the first chapter. Please lemme know if you guys like want more!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer...I plagiarized this because I don't own it. Not intended to be bad...**

_**Yeah, well I got some ladies saying they wanted more...I can't say for sure if there will be anymore orgies...but we'll see.**_

**Wanted By Anadabyel**

**Chapter 2**

I had just gotten into my little house from the airport when the phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I forgot to look at the caller I.D..

"Hey there Bella babe. Glad you're home." Oh no, my new almost boyfriend Aron.

"Yeah, hey. Just walked through the door mere seconds ago." Could the guilt of the last twenty four hours be heard in my voice or was that just my imagination?

"You sound weird." _Nope, not my imagination._

"Really, how?" Feigning innocence. Because I wasn't at all innocent anymore. I just had a lot of sex.

"I don't know, maybe I should let you get settled back in. Can I come over tonight?" He was beginning to sound annoyed.

Good, maybe he would break it off and then I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore. I may or may not ever hear from Jasper again. But I had still screwed an entire group of high school friends mere hours ago and I hadn't even let Aron feel my bare breasts yet.

"Um, maybe let me call you okay, so I can get everything taken care of here. You know my cat needs to be picked up from Victoria's and I need to unpack..." I was being purposely vague. Aron wasn't stupid and this really shouldn't be the end of the world. So I hope he takes a hint....

"Alright, sweet thing, I'll call you later."

And he doesn't. Dammit. I hung up my land line.

"Sweet thing?" I look at my phone. "Holy crap there is no way I can be with a guy who calls me sweet thing." I say to no one.

I throw all my bags into my bedroom and grab my keys heading to the house three doors down to get my cat Mr. Mustachio. It was a moronic name I came up with my freshman in college for him when I found him on campus near my dorm room. I was drunk and a little high with Victoria my room mate, we were staggering home from an off campus party, when we found the dark gray cat limping and bleeding from two of it's paws. He had walked through a bunch of glass and tore himself up pretty good. Although he was completely gray he had a huge twirly looking black stain on his face that made him look like a villain from silent movies in the shape of a mustache.

After we pulled out the glass out of his feet with our eyebrow tweezers he crawled onto my lap and slept all night while we were both passed out. When I woke up to the purring and needing of this big gray cat I was in love. He was filthy and although I knew cats hated water I forced Mr. Mustachio in the shower with me to find he had no mustache and he also wasn't gray, but he was almost completely white with a couple black dots on his face that looked like big freckles. Whatever. This cat was too cute and loved to be in the water. We kept him, and we kept him out of the line of site until Victoria and I moved into our own place during the summer between our freshman and sophomore years.

Our little house on Sycamore was a green and yellow little row house with two bedrooms and a great old fashioned kitchen and a tiny living room. It was perfect and all ours. Well now mine. Our little house was also three doors down from our Psychology professor where Victoria was spending most of her time anyway. Now she was living with him and I was happily alone with the Mr. Mustachio for company.

As I walked over to Victoria's in the snow, my cell started ringing. I slowed my strides after the time I had mere hours ago I was a little jumpy as to whom it might be.

My heart started fluttering when I saw the number I really wanted, the area code, Texas. Jasper. I had only exchanged numbers with Rosalie. Like an idiot.

"Hey." I said into the phone as I came to a complete stop in front of Vic's house.

"Well, hey yourself." I think I just came a little from the sound of his voice. "I just wanted to make sure you got in okay. See if you still wanted me to come see you tomorrow."

_Hell yeah, _is what I wanted to scream into the receiver._ I just gotta get rid of a perfectly nice guy so you can use me at will._ Also would have been wrong to say.

"Yeah, I can't wait." That may be a tiny bit better, but still sounded desperate. I heard him chuckle and I wanted to die.

"Well good, me either. Can you pick me up from the airport? My flight comes in at 10:15 a.m at DIA."

"Okay, yeah, I'll be there." _Maybe I could dry hump you through the phone? _

"Alright, what kind of car do you drive?"

"I still have my truck from high school."

"You gotta fuckin be kidding me!" I was.

"No, it was at my dad's house. I have a Toyota truck now, almost brand new."

"Aw, thank God. That truck you had in high school was a killer to the Ozone."

"Show some respect!" We laughed easily.

"Alright, there little girl. I will see you tomorrow mid mornin."

"Okay, Jazz, I can't wait to see you again." I almost couldn't contain my voice and my excitement.

"Me too, Bella. This will be better, just you and me." I literally jumped up and started pumping my arm in the air because I am an idiot. "Bye, Bella."

Holy God in Heaven his voice sounded like perfect porn to me. God his voice and that accent were enough to drive me insane, the good kind of crazy. The other guy I had just talked to was driving me to the bad crazy.

"Bye, Jasper." I just stood there in the snow when I heard my ex-roommate come out of her house and stand on the porch looking at me like I was an alien from another planet.

"Oh my God!" I screamed at her. "Grab the cat and come over I need to talk to you right now!" Victoria smiled and ran back in to get Mr. Mustachio.

I wasn't sure how much of my trip and trip down memory lane and all the new memories that were made on this trip down memory lane I was going to tell Victoria, but she already knew about Edward and my unrequited crush on Jasper from our many nights of talking about everything from boys to effective birth control and tampons to how many bong hits did you do tonight at that party.

But there was no way I was admitting to the orgy participation or to the girl on girl action with Rosalie, or to any of it for that matter. I was taking that to my grave, and unless someone had a video going somewhere I was pretty sure we all were. She was just gonna have to be in the dark with the specifics. But I had to tell her about my sexy visiting friend from Forks.

"Mr. Mustachio go find mommy!" Victoria yelled at the cat as she came bounding into the house covered in snow.

I ran over to Victoria and gave her a huge hug. "Whoa Nelly, what is going on with you?" she giggled at me.

"Guess who is coming to stay with me for I don't know how long?" I asked liked a kid.

"I have no idea, well I guess a friend from high school." I nodded excitedly. Realization shown in her eyes. "It's either your high school sweetheart or the infamous stud from Texas you dreamed about sometimes."

"It's the stud!" I squealed.

"No way! I thought you said he was never going back to Forks, so you thought you would never ever ever see him again." She was teasing me and I didn't care.

"I had a party when my dad went out of town and almost all our old friends came. It was so much fun! Now he wants to visit me!"

"Wow, did you guys get to see a lot of each other on this visit?" A perfectly innocent question that sent me into hysterics. "Bella? Did you fuck him or something?" Leave it to Victoria to go for the jugular.

I couldn't stop laughing.

"You did! Now he wants to visit, well damn girl, that's great!" Then she brought me back to reality. "What about Aron Volturi? Aren't you and him supposed to be trying to see where your friendship is going to go?"

"Aw crap!" I slapped the sofa, making Mr. Mustachio angry and jump away from me.

"He's a nice guy Bella, you should break it off before it gets any more serious and especially before the Cowboy gets here."

"The Cowboy is coming tomorrow morning."

"Oh for crying out loud Bella! Talk to Aro tonight then!" _Aro_. What a stupid nickname. It's not like Aron is all that long and drawn out of a name that needs a nick name.

I was being petty. Who cares, it's a stupid nick name.

"He already called and wants to talk to me later. He's so annoying." I said disgusted.

"Oh really? Annoying, thats not what you were saying when you two dry humped in the backseat of James' car when we went to the Christmas party before you left town." She smiled wickedly at me.

Redheaded bitch. _Speaking the truth will only get you bitch slapped by me. _She knew what my response was going to be. I got dry humped, I did not dry hump back.

"And don't tell me to just shut up. This will cause trouble. Just end it with Aro and get your groove on with the Texas stud muffin, what's his name anyway?"

"Jasper." I smiled.

"Jasper, huh. Well that's a pretty innocent and old fashioned name for the memories he has caused you."

"You have no idea!" I squealed again.

"Alright, this is bullshit, is his dick made of gold or something? You have never freaked out over a guy like this." She was smiling but looking very confused.

"I really like him."

"I got that. Two years ago, freshman meet and greet week, I got that. But what is it about him?" I jumped up and grabbed my senior yearbook off my bookshelf maybe seeing a picture of him will clarify my whipped response over this man.

"I can't believe I never showed him to you." I flipped it open to a picture that had all of us and the opposite page was him, Edward, and Emmett in their all their popular boys glory. I pointed proudly to Jasper.

Victoria looked closely at the pictures.

"That is who?" She pointed to Alice, who was pictured looking up adoringly at Jasper.

"That was Mary Alice, or Alice, his high school girlfriend, we were all friends." I explained.

"She is no longer in the picture, so to speak." _Hardy har har._

_I rolled my eyes. _

"No she didn't even show up for Christmas break. Her family is still there, but I haven't seen her since graduation."

"Who is this hot piece of man meat?" Victoria asked pointing to Edward.

"That's my ex, Edward." She looked at me and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Well they are both hot as hell, but damn your ex is prettier then most women."

"I know, it was always a problem." She laughed at my statement. I closed the book and laid it on my coffee table and looked over at Mr Mustachio who had found his cat nip and was flipping it around like a spaz and kicking it with his back paws while hanging onto it with his front paws and teeth. Dumb drunk cat.

"Alright, so you like this guy? He obviously likes you. Just make a clean break with Aro and then you can actually enjoy your time with Jasper, the Cowboy Stud."

"Oh I like that nickname." I smiled at her.

"Yeah well, when you're screaming it in the middle of the throws of passion don't forget to give me credit." She patted my knee. "How long is he staying?"

"I don't know. He didn't really say." I looked around my living room. I had to get this place cleaned up a little before he did get here. I wanted him to at least get the pretense I wasn't a complete slob.

"Damn, Bella. I am happy for you. This is something you've wanted for a long time." She wasn't whistling Dixie on that one.

I nodded and squealed again. Victoria laughed at me.

I knew the advice Victoria was giving me was real, and I needed to make a clean and positive break with Aron. But I wasn't sure what to say to him.

"What should I tell Aron?"

"You slept with a stud you've always wanted from high school now go away."

_I slept with a lot of studs from high school now please run away because one of those studs wants to bone me again. _I thought to myself and smiled at the memory.

"Yeah, that's not what I wanna tell him." I wrinkled my nose and shaking my head.

"Just tell him you just wanna be friends. Maybe he'll catch the hint and go away. Then again, he's a guy in heat and they aren't always the brightest." She started laughing, I knew what was coming next.

"Why have you made that boy wait so long anyway? Damn, you slept with an old friend's ex boyfriend faster than most people can order at Burger King."

"Um that is not true, I slept with Jasper on my last night there." I said with assurance. Not mentioning the other two. Aw hell._ Three!_

Victoria was still laughing at her own joke. She always did. That was one of the reasons why our psych professor always liked to analyze her. That and the fact she would fuck him on his desk in between classes.

_Victoria was not just classy, but brassy. _I laughed at our old joke in my head.

"Go home Victoria, you're starting to piss me off."

"So what are you going to do?"

I decided to cut to the chase and give her my schedule of events for the rest of the evening.

"Call and end it with dummy, wash my sheets, take my birth control at exactly ten pm, make sure all my fancy panties are clean, and make sure the kitty litter box stay in tip top shape." I looked over at Mr. Mustachio and pointed at him.

That mean ass cat always took that as a direct threat and pounced on my lap so he could bite my finger with his kitty stoned mouth. He immediately laid down after the bite and let me start scratching his head.

"Alright, I hope you have fun. Can I meet him?"

"Of course, just don't do anything until I call you."

"Well, yeah, I am not dumb Bella. I know you want to fuck him for the first few days. Damn, I did live with you." Victoria used her "_well duh_" voice. I was ready to smack her as she left.

"Bye, baby doll!" I screamed at her into the night.

"Oh yeah, baby doll. You have fun breakin one man's heart and getting the other one hard."

Why would Aron be that into me? We had been seeing each other for awhile. But we weren't serious. I had tried to change my rather slutty ways, by not sleeping with him to soon.

I had actually jumped Edward on our second date so waiting to be sexual with a guy wasn't really something I had mastered, ever. I was pretty much continuously horny and fine with that. No guy I dated ever complained, although they always did seem surprised.

_I did look like a nice girl after all._

I really wasn't overly experienced. I had dated Edward in high school and then had two boyfriends that I actually slept with so far in college. Then there was Aron, who for some reason I decided to play coy with.

Maybe it was because the first time he kissed me he licked my gums. Top and bottom gums. That freakin weirded me out immediately. But he was so sweet, I still wanted to see if there was anything else there, and maybe I could change his obvious nightmare signature kissing technique because it sucked. If nothing else I wanted to save the next woman from that horror. I felt I owed to the sisterhood.

I stripped my bed and loaded my washer while I thought about what I was going to say to Aron.

I could tell him the truth.

That I had sex with someone else while I was visiting family. A few someone else's while I was visiting my family. That would be painful and mean. But at least it was the truth.

I could just say I wasn't interested. Which was actually also still the truth and mean.

I could tell him, his kissing made me want to vomit. Also the truth. Also, painful and mean.

"Well hell!" I looked at Mr. Mustachio who was looking at me with his steel gray eyes and black doted nose. "What am I supposed to do Mister? I really like this guy that is visiting us tomorrow, I want him to be your daddy." I scratched Mr. Mustachio behind his ears.

"But I don't want to be a full on bitch on wheels to the yucky kissing man either. I don't have time to be all passive aggressive. Oh what should I do?" I tried talking in my best Marcia Brady voice which of course didn't make the cat laugh, yet again. "Stoned freak."

While cleaning my house and thinking about what I was going to say I got an unexpected call from another one of my sexual conquests of the past twenty four hours. The lovely sister of the man I wanted to continue sexing up with.

"Hey Rose. What's up?"

"Well I just got through talking with Emmett. Guess what he wants to do?"

"Get married and have your babies."

"Close but no cigar, he wants us to try again. Isn't that interesting." She said deepening her voice.

"Well yeah, you fucked him like you were riding a pony! I would want to stay with you too." She and I busted out in to hysterics.

"Oh shit, Bella! I cannot believe what we all did last night! And what is up with you and my brother? Have you got the magic vagina working on him now or what?"

_The Magic Vagina! _

Mary Alice Brandon had explained how to strengthen our vagina's to make sex better. She taught us kangels. She was more experienced than either Rose and I when we became friends. We were both still virgins, while the short hotty from a Catholic girls school was not. Alice had freaked me out. But when I tried the exercise I wanted to have sex almost immediately and that was why I jumped Edward on our second date. I had just been practicing.

He didn't complain, neither did Jasper or Emmett with Rose and Alice. So happy and joy sex for everyone. We girls had found out that the boys had started referring to us, their girlfriends, with magic vagina's that were making them act stupid. It became a joke with all six of us.

"He's coming to see me." I said coyly.

"I know, I am the one giving him a ride to the airport you little slut. What are you going to do with my super sweet innocent brother anyway?"

"Hey where is he, he isn't listening to you talk to me?"

"Nope, he and Edward and my old new boyfriend all went out tonight." She sounded like she was doing something.

"To the strip club?"

She started laughing. "Well hopefully, Edward doesn't expect any hanky spanky with me tonight. This magic vagina is closed for one man only right now."

"Speaking of one man, I have to end things with this guy here before Jasper shows up. Unless you wanna tell me something?" I asked shyly.

"What do you want me to tell you? I can't spill the beans completely, he's my brother, my twin, for crying out loud, Bella sllluut. But yeah, you should break up with the other dude. You got a man with a big hard on for you flying in to DIA in the early morning hours." She must have been smiling while she was telling me this.

I squealed.

"Aha, can I tell him your reaction?" She asked excitedly.

"Um..." _Why am I such a baby about this?_

"Come on Bella, he's flying blind, and I am selling his secrets cheap."

"Yeah, you can tell him. I just don't know how to rid of this knucklehead out here."

"Tell him you fucked a shit load of people while you were back home and would really like to try it one on one with one of them." She said that all in one breath. "I would." _She would too. _

Rosalie and Victoria would be very good friends when they meet.

"Um, yeah, I am not going to be doing that." I chuckled.

"Alright suit yourself, but it would work." She said nonchalantly.

"I am sure it would Miss Thang, but I still gotta live in this town you know. Boulder isn't that much bigger then Forks." That was a lie, it was a lot bigger than Forks but the college community was not.

"Are they all staying with you in Seattle?"

"No they got a hotel room, I think Emmett is coming over tonight for a replay, but who knows. We're just gonna play it by ear."

"So no more orgies?"

"Not this week. You little slut!" She started laughing, "Jasper couldn't stop talking about you to Edward, so all your little secrets are known."

"Edward doesn't know shit anymore." I laughed.

"Well his lack of new information made Jasper smile from ear to ear all the way to Seattle." She continued to laugh. "I think if Jasper hadn't staked his claim it would be Edward flying out to see you. Edward's eyes got all glassy when he was talking to Jasper. It was funny as hell."

"Oh lord! Yeah the Mason super highway will not be ridden by me again. Last night was his last go round with this magic vagina." There was a knock on my front door, sinking my heart. Aron. It had to be him.

"Slllluttt, you say that now, what happens at the high school reunion? Huh, tell me that?" She was making her self laugh.

"Oh crud!" I said looking out my front window.

"What?"

"It's the dork."

"Break his heart, Bella! Do it now!" Rosalie was laughing to the point of hysteria. "You have to and let my brother have you whenever he wants you." Rosalie had no problem destroying boys.

"Alright, I gotta go." I yelled to the front door I would be there in a second. "This sucks."

"Well, sometimes you gotta be a bitch to get the right dick. Call me later if it goes bad. Hell call me if it goes good." Only Rosalie. I smiled.

"Bye Rose." I hung up the phone and went for the front door. Tripping over my stoned cat who had decided it was an opportune moment to run in front of me.

I set my cell on the couch and went for the door knob.

"Hey there sweet thing." Oh crap. Aron, also known as Licky Gums. Here at my house. He brought food. And a sad smile.

Shit. I am a huge bitch.

"Wow, thanks Aron. You know, I am not feeling to good. But come on in."

"What is the matter? Huh, sweet Bella." He leaned in to kiss me and I moved my head away.

"Getting sick." I faked a cough and grabbed the pizza taking it into the kitchen.

"What the fuck Bella?" Oh thank God he wasn't as dumb as I thought he was.

"Aron, come on, you really didn't think this was gonna last did you?"

"You go home for a couple weeks and come back this passive chick, did you hook up with an ex or something?" He asked leaning against the doorway to my kitchen.

"Or something."

"I thought we had something kind of special." He walked over to my sink and washed his hands.

Well thats an odd reaction to getting dumped. _Whatever._

"I'm really sorry Aron. But I think we need to just try a make a clean break."

"We can't even talk about this? I really care about you Bella." He stood there looking at me with puppy dog eyes. This sucks! He is actually really cute. _He is terrible kisser tough!_

Then visions of Jasper from last night came into my mind. Now Jasper was a man, and gorgeous, and damn could he kiss. And he smelled like a man should, cookies and sex. Did I mention he was an amazing kisser? The kind that made you loose your ability to stand erect. _Yeah, That kind of a kisser._

First him showing up with Laurent, one his own friends from high school. I had seen him but never met him. Jasper had introduced me to Laurent, but when my eyes met Jasper's I felt like I was fifteen again looking at my favorite band.

I was mesmerized. God and he smelled so good too.

He leaned in and whispered into my ear telling me how beautiful I looked. His hand rested on the small of my back. The shiver that went up my spine made my body convulse. Jasper must have felt it, and he smiled seductively at me.

Jasper Hale had always had a strange effect on women. All women pretty much just popped out of their bras for him without him even asking.

Jasper was a rock star.

I played hostess to the party but always knew where Jasper was at any given moment. He seemed to be doing the same thing with me.

When I was trying to get away from Jessica and her boring life story about working at the local newspaper and raising her baby whom she got pregnant with on senior prom, it was Jasper that had come to save me and brought me with him to talk with Edward and Rosalie in the kitchen.

Jasper brought me close to his side. I thought I was in heaven. His arm had snaked around my waist and his fingers lazily played with my jeans' belt loops, and the small amount of my skin that was showing from the space separating my shirt and my jeans where he drew small and deliberate designs, effectively causing me to drink way to much and imagine his hands all over me.

Still later it was Tyler that tried to drag me upstairs to my bedroom, and Jasper again saving me on the steps and threatening to drown Tyler off the pier before I decided to make everyone leave.

Jasper and Emmett played bouncers and got everyone out the front while Edward forced all screwer's and stragglers from upstairs. Rosalie started bringing out the good stuff after all the "losers" finally left and us the "worthy ones" could enjoy the Patron Silver and limes she brought.

"Bella this is bullshit!" Aron's voice actually sounded pathetic when I was brought out of my reverie.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry." I said quietly.

I really wasn't sorry and I wasn't a very good actress so why keep this crap up any longer.

"I am a totally selfish woman, Aron. I think you should be glad you found out now." I was gonna take all the blame even if he wanted to throw some nasty words at me. I had Jasper Hale coming to town tomorrow and needed this house and myself in good condition. I decided to cut the head off this fish, "This is gonna sound mean, but can we wrap this up?" Sorry, but it was flopping around and drowning anyway. Right?

Within seconds Aron grabbed his pizza and actually tried to kick my Mr. Mustachio.

_Well now that was unnecessary and just plain cruel. Kick me, sure, but a cat who is high on cat nip? What had my fat ass stoned cat ever done to him? _

He left without another word. I had expected a few "bitches" on his way out but was pleasantly surprised by the lack of verbal abuse I was taking.

Once Aron was finally out of the house I raced back to my laundry room to get my sheets in the dryer. I loved clean sheets as much as I loved the smell of Jasper's skin so I figured if he only stayed a couple nights this was the last time I would be washing these sheets for awhile. Once again, my own brilliance was awing me.

My house was in excellent shape but I still had too much energy.

I needed to talk to someone. I didn't want to call Rosalie in case Jasper was there. I needed to at least pretend to normal and not completely desperate. He would see that for himself soon enough. It was too late to call Victoria.

I decided to text Rosalie.

_Dumped him Rosie. B._

I waited a few minutes.

_Who him? E._

Shit is this Edward or Emmett. I texted with vigor.

_Give the phone to Rose! B._

Almost immediately I got this response.

_No! You can't tell me what to do B! E._

Arrgh. Boys! It was definitely Emmett. Edward would have asked me what book I was reading by now.

_Emmett! B._

My phone rang.

"Hello Emmett!" I tried not to laugh.

"It's obvious we are all still awake why didn't you just call instead of silently yelling at me so viciously, Bella?" Emmett chastised me.

I could hear laughter all around him and Rosalie yelling at him to give her phone back she needed to talk to me.

But the boys weren't threw with me yet.

"Hey Bella." Edward's silky voice came through the phone line.

"Hey Edward, what are you guys doing over there?" I asked with a knowing voice.

"Aw nothin, it wouldn't work if you weren't here too. Can't wait to see you again." He emphasized his carefully chosen words. _ Oh My God! _

Then I heard what sounded like a growl and Edward's voice sounding shocked.

Then laughter.

"Bella?" Jasper.

"Hi."

Now this was the voice I was longing to hear. I think I must have sounded like a little kid.

"So tell me about this guy who is dumped." He sounded so freakin sexy.

"Why don't I tell you about it when I see you." He chuckled and I must have still sounded small.

"Alright, I look forward to it." He breathed in a breath and then continued, "Bella, I look forward to all of it." He finished softly.

My knees gave out from underneath me and I slumped onto my couch.

His voice made me weak. It always had. It wasn't just his eyes, his chest, his ass, his legs, his arms, his breath, but his voice 1000 miles away that made me weak and horny as all get out!

He, Jasper Hale, was sex on legs and I really couldn't wait to get him all to myself for however long I could.

We said goodbye. When I finally went to sleep it was on the couch where I was on my stomach drooling into the cushions with the added weight of my cat sprawled out on my back. I awoke to my door being knocked on.

Victoria walked in jingling her keys and smiled seeing me laying on the couch with the cat as my cover.

"At least you're having a real man tonight." She said bringing me a Starbucks, "Vanilla latte, skinny. Just they way you like it, with whipped cream and cinnamon. Dork."

"You know what really sucks, you call me a dork and Rosalie calls me a slut."

Victoria took a sip of her drink and raised an eyebrow at me.

"So this place looks better than ever!" She looked around at my meticulously clean house. "Damn girl, when did you do all this?"

"After Aron left last night." I scooted up angering the cat but giving me easier access to my free, warm, and welcoming beverage.

"So how did it go?" I shook my head to indicate not well. I actually forgot Victoria sucked at reading people. "Does that mean it didn't go well?"

"Yeah, that's what it means. He was pissed and took his pizza when he left."

"Is that a metaphor?"

"Nope he actually brought a pizza with him last night, and I am just a big bitch." I took a sip of my coffee. "What time is it?"

Victoria looked at her watch. "Nine forty-five." I jumped up I had an hour to make it through Boulder through Denver and finally to DIA. "Don't worry it snowed again last night, there is no way his plane is coming in on time." That made me calm down a little.

"Did you talk to_ him_ again last night?" Victoria was certainly a nosy Nelly this morning.

"Why yes, mommy, I did. Would you like to know if we practiced safe phone sex?"

I got up off the couch and headed into the bathroom with Victoria following.

"No, I am just excited about you actually liking a guy. A guy that you like is _rare."_ I looked at her confused as I brushed my teeth. "Bella, you never allow yourself to be with a guy fully. I don't know if you did this with Edwin..."

"Edward." I corrected and spit.

"But you acted like the guys you dated were always a nuisance." Victoria was taking her boyfriend's job and giving herself a new hobby.

"Maybe they were nuisances, has that ever occurred to you?"

"I feel like I am a momma watching her baby girl take a real step to an adult relationship. It's just exciting seeing you so excited. You're house is clean, you are practically jumping out of your skin for this guy. You didn't even keep Aron on the line to see if you could use him later. It's just terribly exciting to see you take a step into the grown up world."

I just stared at Victoria with wide eyes. I was tempted to tell her about the orgy with my all my old friends and Jasper, but I actually did want them to meet at some point. I just wanted her to shut the hell up and orgy talk might just do that.

But was I really that bad when it came to relationships?

I was pretty darn cute and was never alone for very long, but did I actually use men like she was describing?

I leaned in the tub and turned on the shower. I looked back at Victoria.

"Shit maybe I do need therapy, huh?" I stripped out of my sleep shirt and underwear before she could respond to my face, jumping under the warm stream. Being naked in front of Victoria was not something that bothered me.

"You don't need therapy, Bella. You just need to stop acting like a guy. It has always worried me."

"I act like a guy? Like do I remind you of a lesbian?" I wasn't going to say that I had a terrible time with Rosalie, quite the contrary, but I enjoyed the multitude of penis' more and I loved Jasper's penis the best.

"No I don't think you're gay. Remember Irina from freshman year? She wanted you bad and you didn't even realize it. Of course you're like that with guys too. Damn Bella! You are confusing."

"Why are you doing this to me today Vic?" Frustration finally getting the better of me. "I am about to go pick up my version of perfection in male form and you are pissing on my parade!" I yelled.

"You're right. I just don't want you to fuck it up I guess." She said slightly defeated.

I peaked out through my shower curtain. "Are you his mommy or mine?" I asked gently.

"Yours. Please let this happen. He's coming to you. Don't panic like you do and just enjoy it."

"I plan on it. Now split before I get out of here." She started to leave the bathroom. "Vic?"

"Yes?" She turned and I looked her straight in the eye.

"I know you want the best for me. I do really like this guy. I always have. If anyone is going to get hurt, it's me."

"I know, Bella. It is okay to make yourself vulnerable. But maybe he likes you just as much." She took and deep breath. "Bye, baby doll." With that she left and I was exhausted again.

Victoria was really trying to help but I really needed to be in the mood to be psychoanalyzed. This morning, I wasn't.

I needed to get back into happy slutty mode for seeing Jasper.

Exiting the shower I happily applied all the girly smelling things I had and even fluffed my hair with the blow dryer. Running into my bedroom, I had wanted to wear a skirt for easy access in my truck, but then that might send the wrong message. Oh, who was I kidding that was the perfect message to send. But as I looked outside, it was just to cold for that.

Jeans and a tight black sweater that hugged my tits and waist effectively, to go over my black lace boy shorts and matching bra. Flat souled knee high boots and my puffy black parka. I looked at my reflection in my full length mirror in my bathroom and decided I was adorable and fuckable.

A simple prayer to God about keeping my hair looking good and I would do better on my donations to the needy, a head scratch to Mr. Mustachio, and I was out the door heading for DIA, and the man of my dirty dreams.

**Please review...your reviews mean a lot. They make me laugh, and I love to laugh, almost as much as I love to think about Jasper nude. How bout you?? ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I have said this before. I don't own the stuff of Twilight, but that Mr. Mustachio of a fat fluff ball is all mine. **

**Wanted By Anadabyel**

Chapter 3

I had one goal today. One lousy goal! Getting Jasper safely into my house, more likely getting him into my bed! That goal lead me to think without balance of want versus consequences and that goal was also why I was getting a speeding ticket. A big fuckin ticket. _Crap!_

It's not like I could do anything except drive around the freakin airport for hours until he texted me he had landed. But to my overly charged libido and my lead foot, I really didn't care.

Fifteen minutes of my life I will never get back. So thank you Officer Montoya. I hope I was able to help the Colorado State Patrol with their quota for the month. _Dang it! _

The alarm from my phone was coming through with the charming little ditty from The Black Eyed Peas was coming through my speakers alerting me to a message. "Boom Boom Pow". _Yeah Boom Boom Pow it better be the hotty from Texas landing from Seattle to make all my dirty dreams come true. _ I said to myself before hitting the green button to read the text message.

"_Hey. Just landed. J."_

I looked in my rear view mirror. No more Office Montoya. "Yeah, go screw up someone else's fun." I said to no one.

I drove the speed limit the rest of the way to DIA.

_Yeah, whatever I will adhere to all state driving laws, as I was now increasing my insurance premium two fold._

The developers of Denver International Airport were drunk when they set this shit up! But now it was my favorite place on the planet.

Seeing Jasper lean against the windows under the awning of DIA, I almost swallowed my own tongue. I also, chocked on the extra spit that had pooled in my mouth. Fuck, but is that guy gorgeous!

He pushed himself off the wall and grabbed his black duffel bag and started walking towards my truck.

"Thats it. I wanna have this guy's kids." I said out load regarding his approaching figure. "Shit, I better develop an inner dialog while he is in town." I said chastising myself.

"Hey there beautiful." He said as he approached me.

"Wow Jasper, you look great." He smiled widely and gave me a hug. "Thanks, darlin."

"Like the truck. Can I drive?" Jasper drawled sweetly, and that smile could make a missionary try doggy style.

_No body drives this truck. No one_! "Yeah of course."

He threw his bag into the bucket seat and walked me back over to the passenger door. He sweetly offered me a hand to get into the seat and then gently kissed my mouth. I couldn't help it, my hands went directly for his hair. It was like a tractor beam or something. Pulling me in. God he has great hair! Soft perfect pillow like lips....I was starting to zone out.

I am pretty sure I melted just then, because my underwear are completely drenched. Yeah that's gotta be the reason.

"Alright, beautiful, tell me how the hell to get to Boulder from here."

I gave Jasper the simplest directions I could to get back across town. But considering I am a control freak, I wanted to rip the steering wheel away from him a number of times.

"So Bella?" He smiled at me.

"So Jasper?" I raised an eyebrow to him.

"Should we talk about what happened the other night with all of us?"

"I would prefer the one who screwed the least amount of people to the person who screwed the most amount of people the other night be kind and considerate, considering I am still trying to come to grips with my new found celebrity as a porn actress." It sounded like a joke but I was pretty mortified by my participation in an orgy with old friends.

But Jasper started laughing. Hard.

"So you thinks it's funny do you?" I gave him a good couple minutes to laugh at me. He looked over at me and stopped laughing but the smile remained.

"Bella? Do you regret it?"

"Not really. A little." _Totalfuckinly!_

"Why?"

"I had other plans."

His smile went into a shit eating grin.

"What were your plans?"

_Honesty? Sure why not._

"I just wanted to be with you." There you go Victoria. Lay myself out there. I just did. Lets see how fast my heart gets broken.

He nodded and he grabbed my left hand off of my lap and squeezed it. "Yeah? I wanted to be with you too."

"Really?" Wow, laying it all out there isn't biting me in the ass. Not even a nibble.

"Yeah, Bella." He said slightly shocked at my reaction. "When I got there, I saw you looking like sin and smelling like sugar. Shit!" He shook his head and started interlacing his fingers with mine. "I had every intention of trying to get with you."

"I have had a crush on you since high school." Did I really just admit my deepest secret?

"You have not!" He said seriously.

"Yeah! I developed a crush on you in Speech class."

"Seriously?"

"I used to watch you all the time. I was a little freak stalker." I cannot believe I admitting all this to him.

"I am surprised. I thought you were completely in love with Edward."

"I was, I just lusted after you." I said coyly.

Jasper smiled but his eyes looked serious.

"Are you over him?"

"Who?"

"Edward, you silly girl." He smiled. But it seemed pained somehow.

_Seriously?_

"God yes I am over him!"

"The other night didn't bring up any old emotions, like rekindling your high school heart?"

"No, why?" I was really surprised he would even think that. Literally the only person I didn't kiss the other night was Edward. I kissed Jasper a lot. I kissed Emmett a bit. God knows the whole freakin thing started because of Rosalie and I kissing.

"Because it did him. We had a little argument this morning about you."

"Oh." That is even more surprising. "I hoped we could be friends again, but dating him again holds no interest for me."

He continued playing with my fingers.

"I meant it when I said I had a crush on you. But I didn't mean it was past tense."

Jasper looked over at me and a crooked smile crept across his face and wonder sparkled in his eyes.

"I like hearing that a lot."

We finally hit my street, Jasper quickly got my truck into the garage and we went into the house.

Mr. Mustachio was waiting by the front door for us.

"What the hell kind of cat is that?" Jasper asked as he knelt down to pet my fat ass cat.

"That my friend is a feline drug addict. He is a lazy nip-aholic with poor impulse control and he blacks out regularly during which time he will bite the hell out you. In a nut shell he is my favorite son."

"Cool." Jasper chuckled a little and Mr. Mustachio rolled over so he could pet his stomach.

I leaned over to grab Jasper's bag so I could take it to my bedroom. Jasper grabbed my hand bringing me to stand up straight in front of him as he started to unzip my parka.

His blazing blue eyes staring directly into mine.

"Bella. I need to talk to you about some stuff." His hands began slowly working their way under my jacket. "Maybe later?" I nodded.

He leaned in kissed my lips softly pushing my coat off my shoulders it landed with a light thud on the floor behind me. "But, the gentleman in me is saying I need to sleep on the couch during this visit and definitely not be doing this."

He started tugging at the waist on my jeans. _This_, this cannot stop!

"Don't listen to your inner gentleman. I like the bad guy too." I chocked out in between kisses.

"Yeah, you like the bad guy? Because the bad guy likes you as much as the gentleman does."

He popped the button on my jeans allowing his hands to go around and grab the cheeks of my ass pulling me closer to him. His mouth began to linger along my jaw line and then back up to the hollow behind my ear.

"So who does the gentleman like and who does the bad guy like?"

I felt him smile against my neck.

"You are sweet little porn star and they both like you. A lot."

He pushed his hands in deeper into my pants allowing him the advantage of bringing my legs up and I latched them around his waist. His mouth and teeth became attached to my earlobe which made me moan out in passion.

"God, Bella. You are so goddamn hot." He whispered into my ear.

Jasper began walking down the hall with me attached to him like a baby koala bear.

"Where is the bedroom?" He panted.

"Straight! Go straight!" Shit if I wasn't so turned on I may have been more helpful, but I couldn't think of anything but him grinding his amazing body against me and not having to let go!

Jasper found the foot of my bed a little more quick than he had anticipated and he slipped. He and I went down on the mattress quick. His full weight on top of me and I was hungry for more.

"Shit baby, I'm sorry." He panted as he started to work my sweater up.

"Don't worry about it I like it!" I said grabbing at his shirt, practically ripping it at the same time.

He stopped kissing me and got up his knees. He always had the ability to calm everybody down. He wasn't ruining the moment by any means, just slowing us down, I guess so we didn't destroy our clothes.

_He's right. I really liked this sweater. And I really wanted to see him in this shirt again, he looked like a freakin god in it!_

With our shirts off we both started working on our pants. I was finally going to be able to see all of him! Naked! I was almost giddy on being able to actually see his manhood in all it's glory.

A few more pieces of clothing and there he was. Jasper. Freaking looking like Apollo himself. His shoulders were wide and his chest was impeccably defined. His six pack looked more like an eight pack and the tantalizing V that pointed to heaven under this man's clothes led me right to the most beautiful dick I have ever seen! Holly shit he's huge! God even the man's feet were beautiful!

I got a little carried away looking over him and forgot to finish taking off my own clothes.

He smiled at me.

Jasper knelt down in front of me and unzipped my boots and helped me take them off. Then he helped me by pulling my jeans and panties off. He lowered the bra straps and began placing open mouthed kisses all along my chest and shoulders. When my breasts were exposed it wasn't hard to imagine that he was a real "tit" man.

Squeezing my breasts together and lapping at each nipple with abandon. He was ubiquitous in his movements and I was in heaven. Not the pretend kind, but the actual kind. I could die now and not regret it!

"Jesus!" I moaned out.

His eyes flashed up to mine and I saw the passion. I hoped he could feel it being given back by me.

Bringing his face back up to mine, he grabbed the back of my head and brought me into a scorching kiss that even if I wanted to I couldn't have pulled away from.

_Jasper for me was like finding Atlantis for archaeologists. He was like discovering a new species of insect for an entomologist. I am explaining this wrong. Dammit! I was always good at science and that was pretty much it. But, oh here you go, he is the most amazing discovery I had ever found. And he was mine, at least for right now._

I have never been kissed so completely. After being kissed by amateurs for so long this was incredible!

My brain actually shut down at some point from the pleasure that was building in me.

His eyes burned a trail of heat from my eyes to my mouth and over my entire body. I didn't once feel embarrassed about my body or my reactions to the things he was doing to me or the things I wanted to do to him.

"Bella? Baby, do you have any condoms?"

_Fuck! _

"No!" I was trying to be a good girl lately and hadn't seen the need. Revelation! "But you didn't use one the other night with me."

_None of you boys did! God if I could smack my self for that shit I would!_

_I am on the pill. I am clean as a whistle. Although I would never dream of making a group of old friends from high school use protection with me, I would make all the dudes I go to college with wear one after many months of dating and blood test comparisons. But any one of you guys that had dated me or one of my best friends, nah, whats the point? Throw it in me! All of you, I went to high school with you guys right? That makes all the difference in the world. ** I am a fucking moron!**_

"So that's okay, you're okay with that?" He asked in an almost pained voice.

"Yes, please. I am fine with that!" My voice had to have been equally as desperate sounding.

With that Jasper began rubbing his cock along my slit and finally pushing into me slowly. My legs were moved to wrap around his waist as he pushed us both further up my bed. He began pulling and pushing himself in me in short strokes and then faster and longer ones. My eyes were probably rolling in the back of my head because he was amazing!

"Jasper...God...I ...don...think.." Well that's true.

"Tell me Bella. Tell me what you want!" Jasper panted out.

"Oh God!" I started to feel my walls clench around him causing his to start grunting.

"Fuck Bella! Come for me baby!"

"Jasper!" I screamed his name louder than I have ever done before.

He emptied himself deep within me and let himself go flacid while remaining inside me.

We laid there on my bed wrapped up in each others arms and tangled legs catching our breath. It was barely noon.

"Baby! I am..fuck"

I looked into his face and grabbed his cheek. "What Jasper?"

"I keep getting into this with you. You're like fuckin honey to a bear. I can't keep my hands to myself. But I honestly want to talk to you." He started laughing.

His laughter was so deep and intoxicating I couldn't help but laugh along with him.

"Um okay." I sat up a little. "Talking. Clothes on or off?"

He smiled. The creases around his eyes made the smile deep and genuine with mischief dancing in his eyes. I was in so much trouble right now.

"Clothes can stay off please." He pulled me closer to him so my head was on his chest.

I let my fingers start to wander over his pectorals and play with his lovely light chest hair. Everything about Jasper screamed Man. He was amazing.

"So tell me why you regret the other night." He asked.

I looked up at him and thought for a second. I already knew what was wrong with the other night and it was having sex with everyone there excluding him.

"Well let's see, there are so many things wrong with what happened the other night. I really don't know where to begin."

"I thought it was great." He said with a chuck.

"Yeah well you only had sex with one person." I explained.

"That's true."

"I had sex with everyone."

With that he started laughing. "True. Do you regret it too much?"

"Why are you hoping for a replay?" God why did I ask that? Of course he was . He's a guy.

"Well I don't want my sister there I can tell you that much."

"But you want Emmett and Edward there?" The tightening in my stomach was becoming painful.

"When we went out last night, Rosalie thought we were going clubbing and all we really did was go to a coffee place and talk about you."

I pulled back from him and sat up grabbing the blanket so it stayed covering my breasts.

I was a little shocked. "I thought you said that you and Edward got into an argument over me."

"We did. He wanted to come out here too. So did Emmett, but he decided to play with Rosalie a little longer."

"I'm confused."

He pulled me in closer again to his chest and squeezed my shoulders.

"Bella I have to explain some things to you, so maybe we should get dressed."

Once we got dressed, me in a pair of white yoga pants and a pink t-shirt. Jasper put on a different pair of jeans form his bag but other than that he remained unclothed. That was actually not going to help my focus.

I grabbed a couple bottles of water and met him on the couch in my living room.

He had Mr Mustachio on his lap scratching my cat behind the ears.

"I love this cat." Jasper said smiling at me.

"He likes you too. He doesn't really like strangers." It was a little white lie. Mr. Mustachio was a whore. He would hang with anyone that showed him attention and "love them long time".

"Alright, Jasper. I have now told you all my secrets. Maybe you need to tell me some of yours." I said bluntly while taking a big drink of my water. Swallowing audibly.

Jasper looked at me thoughtfully. He looked like he was forming his words appropriately.

"Edward and Emmett are flying in tonight."

"Excuse me? Here to Colorado!" _What the hell is going on?_

"Yes. They want to see you again."

_Aww hell no!_

"Why?" Realization hitting me like a big fat hand slapping me in the face. "That was a one time deal Jasper. I realize I left my brain at the door that night, but that doesn't mean I am going to do it again."

He smiled sweetly. Which was a direct contradiction to what his words were.

"Yes you will Bella. You want all three of us and we want you." Devious smile. Slapping a big guy would probably get me my ass handed to me which did not interest me in the least. I mean I really have no idea who this guy is sitting in my living room.

Friend or foe?

And why the fuck is this perverted fuck still petting my cat!

I sat up, and said the first thing that came to my brain. "Stop touching my cat!"

Jasper didn't. He continued to pet my precious Mr. Mustachio. He also didn't stop smiling at me.

"Baby, do you remember how Emmett, Edward, and I always used to leave town on Sundays?"

"Yeah, you guys hiked or running long distance or some such shit. For sports. And I am not your baby, I am a pissed of chick you are never fucking again." I was standing across the room from my now very intimidating crush.

He ignored my last statement.

"Who were you with when we weren't around?"

"Alice and Rose usually. Sometimes Angela. Why?"

"Are you sure?" He still had a freaky looking smirk on his face and a cocked eyebrow.

I thought about it for a second. Sundays. It was usually Rose. Alice was always busy.

"I guess Alice wasn't around that much on Sundays. Why? What the hell Jasper? Stop acting like you are trying to scare me, because you aren't trying you are succeeding!"

He stood up and started to walk over to me. I immediately started moving toward my front door. Jasper stopped his movements and held up his hands palms in front of him as if in defeat.

"I don't mean to scare you Bella. This is why I am the one that usually goes in first." He sounded sincere, but most sociopaths were pretty good at shit like that too.

"What the fuck are you talking about!"

"We were usually all fucking Alice." he said plainly and went back to sitting in his original seat on the couch. My damn disloyal cat went right back into his lap.

_**Holy FUCKING SHIT!**_

"Edward cheated on me!"

His smirk went into a Cheshire cat smile.

"You need to leave Jasper." I said as calmly as I could.

He leaned back onto my couch putting his arms out on the back stretching his gorgeous body out for me to see.

Freakin asshole!

"You don't really want me to leave. And you really want Emmett and Edward to show up here tonight." His voice was sure, his movements were secure. He looked like the a lion waiting for the antelope to just walk by.

"Don't tell me what I want Jasper. You wouldn't know what I want if it hit you in your ass!" I can lie to dumbass.

"Bella why don't you just relax and let me explain. I need you calm though alright?" His face changed to sweetness in a matter of seconds.

I stayed tense. It made me feel better.

"You're telling me that Edward and Emmett want to come and visit me for a replay of the other night, also that you guys used to do this regularly with one of my best friends and that you guys always lied to me and Rose. Is that right?"

"No, we didn't lie to _Rose_." More of my life was crashing in on my brain.

"Just me?"

"Edward didn't want to share you. I was obviously never with Rosalie. But she was with Edward a lot." He said matter of fact. At least the smirk was off his face.

"Edward was really selfish back then. He stopped being selfish when you two broke up." Jasper said quietly.

"I am not being shared!"

"You already were Bella. But you don't belong to any of us now. So this could be much easier than then the other shit we did." Jasper tilted his head slightly and brought his arms down clasping his knees, he looked almost like an inquisitive child looking at me for an answer. "No jealousy. You could be all of ours."

Holy shit!

I licked my lips.

I needed to get the hell out of here.

"I gotta go." I bolted for my front door and headed toward Victoria's house. Leaving my home and the crazy guy that I thought I was in love with there I ran barefoot three houses away.

I began slamming on the door of my old roommate. "Come on Vic! This is so important!" James came to the door with concern on his face. "Bella what the hell?" He yelled at my state of dumb lack of dress for winter weather in Colorado.

"Is Vic here?" I was jumping from foot to foot trying to not completely freak out or freeze to death.

"No. Get in this house!" He grabbed my arm and drug me into his living room. " I thought you had a visitor from back home?"

"Yeah, I do. It's um, not going so well."

"Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah! Great. I just really wanna talk to Vic about something." I wasn't about to tell James what was going on in my house.

"Well she's not here. She went to go visit her mom in Salida for the day. Do you want me to have her call you?"

"Whatever. Can I borrow a pair of her shoes?" I was barely registering what he was saying.

"Yeah, of course. Let me go get you a pair." His eyes read concerned.

James brought me out a pair of Victoria's running shoes and a pair of socks. I wasn't really sure why but I needed to go back to my house and either have Jasper removed by force or calmly offer to take him to a hotel for him and his perverted friends. Because they were not staying at my place.

"Bella?" James said breaking me from my thoughts. I looked at him. "Are sure you're okay? There is something wrong with you."

"No, I am fine. What is the word where people think they are above everybody else? Superior."

"A megalomaniac?"

I thought for a second about his answer.

"Maybe." Was that it. Is that what they were? Or was that too sinister? Maybe not sinister enough.

"Is that what the guys is that is staying with you?"

"No," I smiled. "It's a subject I am thinking about researching. Sorry." I said to James with a smile. I really didn't feel any real danger from Jasper. But when Emmett and Edward were to arrive I couldn't stop imagining a gang mentality.

Jasper had this uncanny ability to calm everybody around him down. I was starting to realize it was a seduction technique. He had mentioned they always set him in first. But what about Rosalie? My dear friend that sent her brother to me, did she know about this shit, too?

I hung around James' house a little longer making excuses about borrowing books and clothes from Victoria. Trying to get my brain together regarding my guest.

"Bella do you want me to go back over there and ask him to leave?"

I had to laugh internally. James was about four inches shorter then Jasper, and had love handles. He was in no shape to try and be my hero. "No James. I'll be fine. I really just needed this stuff." I lied and grabbed my loot from Victoria that I had not ever needed and made my way back over to my house.

I walked in and Jasper was no longer in the living room. He was taking a shower. "Hey make yourself at home. Creep." I said out loud.

I threw my borrowed items on my now made up bed. Jasper's cell phone was resting on my dresser when. I picked it up to look at the call history. Edward and Emmet's names were repeated several times. I scrolled over to text messages to get some information.

Empty.

_Asshole._

Then his phone rang scarring the shit out of me and making me shriek and drop his damn phone on the floor. Which of course made it fly into my stupid bathroom!

Jasper opened up the door to my shower to see his blackberry resting at the bath mat.

"Nervous about something darlin?" He said smirking at me.

I glared at him.

"You know you could have taken a shower at the hotel. I am going to be driving you there _now._" I emphasized the last word. "So get dressed Mr. Sick fuck."

He smiled at me and answered his phone. He had grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist.

Moist Jasper was doing nothing for my self control or my ability to think clearly.

"Hey, hold on." He said into his phone and brought it over to me. "Here. He's worried about you." Jasper smiled gently at me.

I grabbed the phone out of his hand.

"Who is this?" I said into the phone.

"Bella, are you okay?" It was Edward. The one that I was actually mad at.

"Oh yeah, sure! I am so glad I found out that you didn't want to _share_ me in high school. _Fuck face_!"

I walked out of my bedroom as Jasper dropped his towel from his waist. Why tempt myself anymore?

This was beyond ridiculous.

"Come on Bella. It wasn't like that. The three of us, had our thing. I never wanted it to include you. At least not while you were so..." He trailed off.

"What Edward?" I yelled into the phone.

I heard him take a deep breath and I knew he was tugging at his hair.

"Innocent. Bella, you were so innocent. I didn't want to have that ruined by me and my friends weird sexual bullshit."

"You don't mind though now, huh?" I was insulted.

"You aren't mine anymore _Bella_. Also, you aren't innocent anymore." He chuckled, "Far from it. You are a fucking sex goddess. I had no idea you had it in you."

"Fuck you Edward!"

"Come on Bella! I wasn't even going to come to your party because I knew you had invited Jasper and Emmett. I knew exactly what would happen. But then they reminded me." He trailed off again.

"They reminded you of what?"

"That they had both wanted you. But I would never let them have you." His voice was seductive and commanding. I looked at Jasper who's eyes were full of want. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt.

The corners of Jasper's mouth went up forcing a lazy grin. He never took his eyes off me. For some reason it was calming to have him in the same room as me instead of unnerving which I was actually expecting.

"I wouldn't have been with them in high school!" I croaked incredulously.

Laughing in stereo. Jasper laughing at me in my living room and Edward laughing at me on the phone from Seattle.

Now I was pissed. "What the fuck are you two laughing at?"

"Bella, sweetie you would have done anything I asked you to. Remember?" I did remember that. I let him do anything he wanted to me. I was his little sex slave. He loved it. Hell so did I. "I also knew you had a little crush on Jasper anyway." _The fuck? _

Edward knew, but he didn't say anything. To anyone!

Jasper patted the cushion beside him indicating for me to some and sit next to him.

Like a magnetic pull, I walked over and did what was requested of me. Jasper put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me closer to his warmth.

"Bella if you don't want Emmett and I to come to Colorado, we won't. We would never force you to do anything you don't want to do." Edward said with sincerity. "But there is no guarantee that we won't try to convince you separately or come and visit you together. We will keep trying." My stomach tightened at his words. However frightened I was, the threat still offered a temptation I wanted to explore.

At least if I was honest with myself.

_But I could lie all day and night to myself, so that is what I was going to stick with right now._

"I go back to school on Monday. So maybe that isn't such a good idea." I looked up at Jasper, I kind of wanted to know about Rosalie too.

"Alright. I'll cancel the flight." Edward said quietly.

"Well that was easy, I guess you can always go fuck Rosalie again huh." I was a little insulted that it was that easy. _Where the hell is my head_?

"Bella, I won't be going there." he said reassuringly. Like it should even matter. "I'll go out to dinner with my parents." _You asshole!_

"Oh okay, yeah! Dinner with the parents instead of pulling a train on your ex two states away. You've gotten really weird Edward!"

Chuckling in stereo again.

"I want to be with you again Bella. We don't have to include anyone else."

Holy crap! Are these guys for real?

"Goodbye Edward. Loose my phone number." I hung up and handed Jasper his phone back.

"A little harsh don't you think?" Jasper asked smiling at me.

"You three are sick fucks you know that?" I asked keeping my voice level as much as possible.

He looked directly into my eyes and spoke in a commanding voice.. "No Bella. Sex is supposed to fun. We never do anything against any one's wishes." Then he smiled widely. "Bella, you have three guys that want you so bad they are willing to travel across the country for you. Shit Bella! This is the time to experiment and broaden your horizons!"

"And get chlamydia and crabs." I joked as I stood up.

He laughed hard.

"Besides, what makes you think I don't have guys here that want me?"

"Oh, we know you do. The texts you sent to Rosalie told us all a lot. And Rosie told us the rest." He raised an eyebrow.

"So Rosalie knew why you were coming here? This was a set up?"

"She knows I like you. She also knows Edward never got over you. She wasn't setting you up to get hurt."

"What about Rose and Emmett?"

"She knows that he sees other people. She always has too." Did I ever know these people for real?

I was pretty sure my eyes were popping out of my head.

"You really are so innocent Bella. It's adorable."

I sat there for a few minutes wondering what to do next. I wasn't mad at the guys anymore but I was pissed as all hell at Rosalie.

I needed to be alone.

"Alright, so lets get all your shit together gotta get you outta here. Okay?" I clapped my hands as motioned for him to leave.

"Bella you aren't really going to make me stay in a hotel are you? I won't try anything. I'll sleep right here on the couch. Promise." He smiled seductively at me.

_Liar._

I knew if I didn't get him out of my house within the next fifteen minutes I was going to let him share my bed again tonight.

My need for him was overwhelming.

I really did want him. I really did like him. It sucked but it was true.

I also had a lot more questions that I wanted answered regarding our high school years and their as Edward called "weird" sex lives.

"You swear?" I pointed at him.

"I swear. Scouts honor" He smiled at me. I highly doubted that this guy was ever a boy scout.

And since I had pointed at Jasper my damn cat attacked my foot viciously.

Disloyal little fur ball.

**AN- I think I need therapy. Why do I always write about this shit? **

**I know this story is going in a strange direction. But please stick with me. It will be completely in Bella's POV she is the only filter. She has a lot of angst in this story. But she's a tough cookie. I really love her in this story. Hope you guys do to. Just remember no one is a good guy and no one is a bad guy completely in this story. People are strange, thats all I have to say.**

**Reviews feed my addiction.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer- All things Twilight are not mine. All things perverted...they so are mine and I want to share them with you. Because I'm a giver, what can I say? =D**

Wanted

Chapter 4

I realized that I hadn't eaten anything and my stomach made sure Jasper knew it too.

"I need to make something to eat. What do you want?" I said in the most annoyed voice I could muster.

"I'll help." Jasper offered.

God why couldn't this have been normal? I wanted to be his girlfriend so bad. Stop it, thinking about this will only make you cry. Crying was going to have to wait until after he left. I would not let him know he had hurt me so badly.

I looked in my pantry and discovered I had no food to prepare. Jasper looked in the fridge and discovered the same sad thing there.

"Is there a Chinese place near by or pizza? We could order in." Jasper said. I nodded and went to get my telephone book.

When the food arrived, Jasper was the one that went to the door and paid before I even had a chance to find my purse. "You're my guest I could have paid." I said quietly pulling out the containers. Jasper came up behind me and began kissing my neck.

"Why do you have to be so perfect?" I asked. _Perfect at least on paper._

He slipped his arms around my waist, moving his hands over my stomach massaging up and down my abdomen. "I'm hardly perfect, Bella." He whispered in my ear.

"So why can't you just date me? Why do I have to be with _them_ to be with you?" I was desperate for an answer.

"You weren't complaining the other night." _Nasty response_. I pulled away from him and went to my cupboard to get plates.

"That came out wrong Bella." He said apologetically.

I kept my head down.

"No, it probably came out perfect Jasper. Just the way you meant it." I could feel my resolve wavering. "I am not a whore. I felt like one and acted like one the other night. But I am not one. So you can stay here tonight as an old friend but if you plan on staying any longer in Colorado, you will have to stay someplace else. Okay?" I felt my eyes burning and I ran to my bedroom before my tears could betray me. I slammed the door behind me. I made myself turn around and lock it purposefully.

I took a hot shower to calm my nerves. When I heard the television in my bedroom turn on.

"Fuck! You can pick locks too?" I yelled from the shower.

I saw his figure walk into the bathroom through the frosted glass.

"Bella, I swear I never meant for any of this to upset you. We fucked this up from the beginning with you." I turned up the hot water.

"What are you talking about?" I yelled over the noise of the water.

"Come out here okay sweetie." Jasper said sweetly. He came closer to the door of my shower. "Eat something. I promise no more games I will tell you everything."

Okay, this was a good thing. I turned off the water and a clean towel was handed to me over the top of the shower door.

"I'll step out and give you some privacy." He said.

He actually sounded remorseful.

I had brought in some ugly flannel pajamas into the bathroom with me. The absolute butt ugliest night clothes I had. I put them on. This will fix him. Maybe.

Oh yeah, I did that on purpose.

I ran a comb through my wet hair and walked out into my bedroom. Jasper had made himself comfortable laying on my bed with two plates of food and two beers all of it setting on a large text book for a photography class I had. He was utilizing it as a table for us.

"Come here, darlin. Please." At least he had the decency to act ashamed. Then again Edward had too earlier on the phone. _ Fuck that, and fuck Edward._

"Thank you. I am really hungry." I sat down on the bed next to Jasper. He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"You're welcome."

We ate silently for a few minutes. The sun had gone down making it seem later than the six in the evening it really was. But I was also extremely exhausted.

"You ready to hear?" He asked looking at me sweetly.

"All right hit me with it, tell me all about what the hell is up with you guys."

Jasper lightly chuckled.

"Alright, Bella. I am going to tell you a lot of shit. But I want you to try and keep your mind open. Don't judge us too harshly. You used to love us." He smiled at me. "Remember how much you loved Edward?" He has no idea how true his statement was.

I did love Edward, I would have died for him. It was his idea to break up. Now it was Jasper. But I needed to get over this and fast.

"It really wasn't our idea." He said.

"What, the whole group sex thing?"

"Yeah, it was Alice that got us all into it."

Once again my eyes bugging out of my head.

He laughed again at my reaction.

"You cannot be serious!" I said.

"She asked me to get Edward and Emmett one time after we all went to the movies. I waited until I thought they got you and Rose home and I called them. They were more than willing to oblige."

"Why didn't it bother you to share Alice?"

"It was exciting and fun." He shrugged. "She loved it. Alice was pretty messed up. She got kicked out of the St. Mary's in Port Angeles for this same kind of stuff."

"Damn! How did you guys keep all this shit from me and Rose?"

"Edward was not about to get you involved in any of it. He thought of you as like a prize possession."

I decided to ignore his explanation and move on.

"Alright, but it didn't bother you?" With my eyes still bugging out of my head.

"Not really. I'm not really good with relationships. I never was. So when Alice suggested it, I figured hell yeah, she wants to try all this kinky shit. We could have some fun!" He shook his head smiling.

He took a deep breath and continued. "It was a little deeper than that for Alice. She had a lot of problems."

It was my turn to be embarrassed. I had no idea Alice was so messed up. "What were her problems?"

"She was a drug addict for one thing." He said matter of fact.

"What, really?"

"Bella, she was real good at hiding her shit. Don't feel bad. She would shoot up in between her toes and shit."

"Oh my God! I had absolutely no idea. How could I not know?"

"She was a druggie she was a great actress. Shit I found out by accident."

"How did you find out?

"Caught her buying smack off Cais, that freak of nature back in Forks one night after a game."

"Shit, Jasper! What kind of friend was I?"

"The kind she made you Bella. She kept Rose in the dark too. I never told anyone." He shook his head then looked at me. "You were a good friend to her. She kept that shit from you because she really loved you and Rose."

"Is that why she left Forks, without saying goodbye?"

He looked pained. "To be honest Bella, I don't know why she left without saying goodbye. She was pissed at me about some stuff." He fidgeted again, "Alight, I am promised to be honest with you. She was pissed because you and Edward broke up and she knew we were going to be with you. I was going to be. Once Edward lightened his grip and actually asked you."

I still couldn't believe that this was a planned thing. That Edward was going to offer me up and a platter for his friends. I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about this anymore.

Jasper looked at me sweetly. "Bella, you told me you had a thing for me in high school, well you should know, that I had one for you too."

My defenses lessoned a little. Hearing that he had actually cared for me even a little when I was so enamored of him. This realization made me smile back at him.

"Yeah but you said Emmett shared Rose with Edward too, right. But that meant you only got sex with Alice. That hardly seems fair." I said it, not believing the words were coming out of my mouth.

He couldn't believe it either and started laughing. It was infectious and I joined him.

"Yeah, I mentioned that to Edward a lot regarding you. But I found extras around." I must have let my reaction get away from me again. He put his fork down and looked like he was remorseful again. "Fuck, that came out wrong again! Bella. Edward was right about you."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were to good to be involved with this shit." He leaned back on my pillows that laid against my headboard and looked at the television. I just watched him as I sat cross-legged on my bed.

I wasn't sure if I was being played. I hoped I wasn't. But trusting my emotions had only gotten me into trouble in the past 48 hours so I needed to go the opposite direction.

"Okay, never mind. You had others. Is that what you guys do now? Since you moved out of Forks?"

"Yeah."

"Girlfriends?"

Jasper look a deep breath and released it before he answered. "The three of us have gotten together every break or vacation and done this since we left for college. Our "girlfriends" were in on it from the beginning."

"Wow." I said shocked. _But not me._

"What Bella?"

"I honestly thought what happened the other night was this crazy and spontaneous thing. I had no idea it was planned and choreographed."

I had realized while Jasper had been talking that every aspect of that evening was a scripted event.

Jasper protecting me, Emmett hovering over me, Edward avoiding me, and finally Rose seducing me. It was a bitter pill to swallow. Knowing all the people that I loved and trusted since I was fifteen weren't even half of who I thought they were. I had loved them, now I knew I had never even known them.

Jasper sat up and picked up the book since we had both obviously finished eating. He started walking out of the room heading towards my kitchen.

I wasn't angry anymore. I actually felt sorry for Jasper. My heart was broken for Alice. Emmett and Rosalie really didn't need to breed, their particular gene pool really should stop now. And finally Edward, his was worst the betrayal of them all. But at least he had tried to protect me, albeit in a twisted way. But I wasn't mad at them anymore.

"Jasper are you okay?" I asked him as I followed behind. He didn't respond and kept walking.

He set the items down in my kitchen on my counter.

Jasper stood at my sink for a second putting his head down.

"Bella." Jasper said quietly still not looking at me. "I feel like shit for doing all this to you. I never in a hundred years would have thought about what we did the other night as what you described. But you are absolutely right. It was scripted to get you. What we did was fucked up!"

Jasper turned and looked at me. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest like he was protecting himself.

"Edward kind of told me that when I talked to him on the phone earlier."

Jasper nodded.

"What did you think? I am really curious." I leaned against the opposite wall from Jasper and looked into his eyes. "You guys all came over knowing exactly what you wanted. Never mind that I was the only one in the dark."

He avoided the subject and began focusing on what we really needed. "Fuck, I need a drink! You have one beer left."

"All right there is a drive up liquor store about two blocks away."

_A bad combination was brewing. Alcohol and Jasper in my house. But I really wanted to relax before I blew a fuse again._

Jasper and I grabbed our coats and and hopped into my truck. He drove again. For such a devil, he sure was a gentleman.

We were gone for only about twenty minutes when we returned with the ingredients to make margaritas. Both of us too impatient to use a blender we opted for on the rocks. As soon as I prepared our drinks my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, it was Rosalie.

"Your sister is calling." I said coolly.

"Are you mad at her now too?" He asked with a smirk. He already knew the answer. My anger for Emmett and him had all but dissipated. They were just getting laid. I couldn't even begrudge them. Shit they were guys. I could really see their point.

_God! Victoria was right about me, I am a guy in my mentality of sex. Well shit look who I learned all the tricks from. This circus of freaks._

But I felt like Rose had set me up. I wasn't pissed, just annoyed. I figured I could yell at her when I had back up like Victoria standing behind me.

It was Edward that would remain at the top of my shit list until I felt better. He and I were going to have a chat.

"Nope." I said popping the p.

"Just let the machine catch it. I don't wanna talk to her either." He said.

We sat down on my couch and Mr. Mustachio hopped on Jasper's lap again as we looked for something to watch on television.

I was allowing myself to feel about sex what I always did. At least since I got to college. My carefree attitude became the point of contention with Victoria and I this morning. But as of now I knew that was the safest way for my brain to function right now.

I_ was not in love with Jasper. _

_I never was. _

_I wanted to fuck him._

Look at him. What straight woman wouldn't?

I did, so it was now out of my system.

I just needed to say it to myself repeatedly.

Jasper and I were never going to be anything more than this weekend. Maybe a few more romps in the hay. Stop it! I mentally slapped myself.

As we sat on the couch Jasper put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest.

"Are we going to stay friends?" He asked.

"I guess." I needed to ask one more question about all of this. I sat up and away from him, he smiled because he knew what I was doing. More questions.

Now that I wasn't mad, I was really curious.

"What darlin?"

"You guys are in college how the hell can you guys afford all these plane tickets?"

_He smiled brightly at me. _

_Shit! _

_That's my favorite one. Dammit!_

"At first it was mommy and daddy thinking we just missed our buddies, then we started racking up so many frequent flier miles, the flights started to basically pay for themselves. But Edward and Emmett are both working on their pilots licenses."

Now that made me laugh.

Jasper and I talked awhile longer but eventually fell asleep watching television.

**The dream wasn't a dream at all, it was a beautiful memory.**

Walking down the main hall of Fork's High School, I saw them.

Five of the most beautiful people I had ever seen.

Two blonds, two brunettes, and one with bronze colored hair. Three boys and two girls. I only recognized two of them, they had always been beautiful. I didn't know any of their names.

Their smiles brightened the hallway like sunshine.

They all laughed when the blond boy said something.

The blond boy's voice sounded like a waves crashing on a beach.

They were blocking the door way to the classroom.

People were having to ask them to move to get inside.

I felt my heart racing as I got closer to them.

I didn't even think I could find my voice to speak to them.

They were so untouchable.

When I got to the door with my voice trembling, I asked an almost inaudible request.

The green eyed boy with the bronze hair said he was "sorry" as I tried to maneuver around him and the beautiful blond girl to get into the classroom.

I didn't dare look into their eyes.

I heard a girl's voice from behind me say "now that one could be for you".

The blond boy gave a reading from the Declaration of Independence. His strong voice over powering that of the teacher's.

As he walked around the podium he winked at me and grinned. My face was instantly on fire and I looked down at my desk.

Class was over and the children began to file out the door.

I waited until I was sure all the other student's had left like I always did. When I turned I was face to face with the beautiful girls from earlier. The blond and the brunette. Both had bright blue eyes and perfect teeth. Their lips were painted pink. I couldn't look anyplace else as they spoke. Their mouths kept moving but I didn't hear their words.

They knew my name and addressed me as if I was already their friend.

Both wove an arm through mine on either side of me and walked me over to the boys they had been with earlier.

"So Bella, can we all get together and study?" The dark haired girl asked.

As always I was without words. So I simply nodded. My face once again heating by the second.

The bronze haired boy looked at me with humor which suddenly changed to revere. His eyes showed as much shock of his change that mine reaction must have.

Without hesitation he grabbed my hand and leaned in to speak directly into my ear quietly.

"Bella." He breathed. "My name is Edward. Would you like to go out with me this weekend?"

Still I had no voice and nodded in stiff movements.

Edward smiled at me. His lips were in a crooked movement as he spoke to his friends telling them that I had said yes.

He was beautiful. His voice sounded like wind rustling through leaves. He sounded soft and kind. His body in correlation screamed steel and rock.

The last of the group had dimples. He was the king of the school and he smiled at me.

As I began walking with them out of the school, I began to wake with a start as my phone began screaming.

"Shit!" I yell out.

I grabbed the phone and hit the green button before checking my caller ID.

"Hello?" I was still attempting to regulate my breathing from the scare of being awoke from my deep sleep.

"Bella?" Emmett. The last voice of my dream.

"What do you want Emmett? And what fuckin time is it?"

"I don't know. I am still trying to get caught up with what time it was here versus New Jersey."

I straightened myself up and listened. Moving myself from under Jasper.

"What are you calling me for Emmett?" Now I was annoyed.

"Where is Jasper?" He said quietly.

"He's here. Asleep! Jesus! Are you guys all so far up each other's asses you can't go a few hours without blowing one another?"

Emmett chuckled.

"Why are you calling?"

"You won't talk to Rosie and she's upset about it."

I sat there in shock.

"You cannot be serious. She called you to tell me to call her?"

"I'm still in Seattle."

"Oh thats right, you and Eddie were flying up here to pork me and then go onto your final destinations. Is Rose a freakin idiot or something?"

"No, she isn't an idiot. We are getting back together. So shut it."

"No you shut it! You were doin this dumb ass crap while you were dating her before. Before you got her into it!"

"Bella, I know you're mad at us but you just gotta get over it. It wasn't that bad. The stuff me and Rosie did I like to chalk up to experimentation."

"Yeah, I bet you do." I laughed a little into the phone. I got up to get a drink of water from the kitchen.

"You saying no to Jasper and Edward kind of threw us all into a fuckin cold ass shower. Which sucked ass by the way."

I really didn't have another snappy comeback.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I think Jasper really likes you." He said quietly.

"Is Rose feeding you that line for her brother? Or is this a bros before hoes kind of a statement?"

He laughed heartedly. "See now this is why I had a hard on for you for so damned long. Girl you talk cooler than any other chick I ever met!"

"Whatever Emmett. I gotta go." I didn't want to like any of them but especially not Jasper anymore.

"Wait!" He yelled at me. "Come on talk to Rosie."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow, right now I just want to get some sleep." Gotta get rested up from all the fucking I have been doing.

"Alright, Bella."

"Are you guys going to stop doing this?"

"I am. Rosie got really pissed at me. She didn't know me and Edward's plans. Once dumbass let it slip while he was on the phone with you, she almost ripped my dick off."

"She set me up with all of you though."

"Well, kind of. I don't know, I didn't think it was that big a deal until Edward called me a couple hours ago to tell me if I ever contacted you again he would have kick my ass. Yeah, like that was gonna happen." He chuckled. "He's still in love with you."

"Really? Huh." I feigned excitableness. "Now lets see I am really liked by Jasper, still loved by Edward, and you think I'm cool. So I guess I should screw you all again." Emmett and I both started laughing.

"Really?" He asked excitedly.

I stopped laughing, "No Emmett, I am just fucking with you."

"Oh, well shit. That sucks."

"How long are you gonna let my boy Jasper stay?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know, I guess he'll leave tomorrow or whatever." I really hadn't asked him. "Listen Emmett, I am tired and want to go back to sleep."

"Alright, Bella. Hey for what it's worth we know we were assholes to you." For him that was an exceptional apology.

"Bye, Emmett. Tell Rosalie if she wants she can call me tomorrow.

"I really need to meet a nice guy." I said to myself as I hung up the phone. I went to my linen closet to get a blanket for Jasper. Then I was heading to my room to actually sleep.

I turned and was scared shitless to find him standing directly behind me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I screamed at him. My blood pressure had just jumped to an all time high.

"You want a nice guy? I could be a nice guy." He smirked at me.

With that Jasper attacked my mouth. There was no way this guy was going to be a nice guy. And that was okay. Because wanting him was still boiling in my veins.

Jasper threw me over his shoulder and carried me into my bedroom dropping me on the bed as if I weighed nothing.

The bed gave a little as he climbed on to hover above me.

I lifted my head to kiss him.

Our lips and tongues met passionately.

His overly charged sexual prowess was so powerful I almost couldn't breath. I had never wanted or needed another human being then the way I did with him. I couldn't focus on the fact that I was alone in this craving, that would make me loose my nerve.

We broke our kiss to help each other remove the other one's clothing.

"You are not a nice guy Jasper." I said stated the obvious.

His mouth came down on my neck and moved gently to my ear.

"Maybe you could teach me." He whispered to me.

_How the hell could I teach him anything? I hardly knew what the hell I was doing from one moment to the next. I mean look at me! I am about to have sex with again with the guy who just admitted to using me for sexual gratification with his friends. But then again I was all about the idea in the beginning and who says I wouldn't have still gone for it if I had known the plan. If I was truthful any option with me having sex with Jasper Hale was the option I was going to choose. Why fight it. I just didn't want all the other crap to come along with it, specifically his friends. _**See even my argument with myself is fucked up!**

Passionate touches as we eagerly discovered each other for the second time since he arrived.

There was nothing this guy couldn't do sexually.

Jasper could act like a sensitive sweet guy all day long and get the virgins to throw themselves at his feet willingly. Or he could put on the Stetson hat and the boots on and seduce the womenfolk into betraying their vows.

Yeah, that's the power he held. I doubt he would ever loose the ability to manipulate and control everything he wanted. He was amazing.

Suddenly my pants we off and Jasper was looking at me with hooded eyes full of want and desire standing at the end of my bed.

Those emotions that he held in his eyes were for me. The plain girl with boring brown eyes and ordinary brown hair. The girl with chicken legs and child like hands that looked ridiculous with nail polish due to their size. The girl who pretended to be cool and hip but was truly just a nerd who loved science and the Discovery Channel.

But this silly nerd girl with a great rack was about to fuck the stud one more time before she went back to her reality. Back to the guys she could control and manipulate just as the cool boys could do her.

Once Jasper was gone, I would get my head straight and life level. On my terms. I liked those odds.

But then Jasper began rubbing his shaft against my slit and circling it at my entrance.

Here I go again...

Could I give up the amazing sex?

Why couldn't he care about me?

I had the need to ask him ridiculous and painful questions.

Could he stop using other girls?

Would he transfer to to Boulder or even DU? I am not really sure where this one came from but I was still curious.

Could he love me? This was the one I needed an answer to.

Because I loved him. I loved Jasper Hale. I desperately wanted him to love me back. Whether it was stupid or not. I loved this guy. He was the one who's eyes I desperately wanted to see me. The real me.

In my brain I knew the answers to all those questions was no he couldn't or wouldn't. My heart would accept only yes to all of them. So will I lie to myself? Yes, start now stupid! That way the tears won't come and I will have one more time with him.

_With Jasper. _

The innocent girl with the crush in me and the relatively experienced trusting woman in me needed it. Just one more time. Before I walked away from my past and never looked back.

Jasper attached himself to my right breast as he slowly and tortuously entered me. My back came off the bed pushing into him. My nails scratching his back trying to get inside him as well.

"Ahh! Jasper!" I moaned into the air.

His mouth came to mine. Against my lips he said my name as he stared into my eyes.

He began to increase is tempo and tried to match it with my slender body.

"Cum Bella...ahhh..baby cum now!" He yelled into the air.

I did, letting myself scream his name a half dozen times as his cock released and pulsated inside of me.

He collapsed on top of me although I felt him trying to keep his full weight off.

One more question. The only one I was brave enough to ask.

"What could I teach you?" I asked after a few minutes of heavy breathing.

He looked up from where his face rested against the valley of my breasts. "You could teach me how to be a better man." He said with dare I think love not just lust in his eyes.

**AN- I am a bad bad girl...yeah whatever! Like I would make Jasper completely evil! Come on!!! I muther effing love that guy! Bitches better review! LOL**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer....I don't own it, I borrow it because I can't come up with an original idea of my very own. Shit man. * mumbles* Why do I have to keep repeating myself?**

Wanted Chapter 5 (listen to the song Leave the Pieces by The Wreckers, while you read this)

I looked into Jasper breathtaking blue eyes when he said I could make him a better man.

All I could think was, "_Do I have that kind of time_?" This guy is self described as bad news and to group that with my mess of a life then you got yourself, a disaster!

I wasn't sure what to say to him.

Frankly I am pretty sure he is playing me still. You might me to go back and show you why? Damn man!

I decided to change the subject.

"Jasper baby?" He came up to my face and began kissing me sweetly. "Baby." I said in between kisses. Fuck! Why did he have to turn me on so much? "Jasper." Why did he have to smell so good? "Oh god." Why did he have to be so fucking beautiful. Worst of all why did he have to know every single one of my questions and why did he hide the answers?

Jasper entered me again. Slowly pushing himself in and out of me in long even strokes. I arched my back into his body.

"God Bella. You're amazing baby." He said breathlessly.

I brought my hands up and latched them into his hair.

I needed to let go of him. I needed to let go of this crush. I needed find my dignity again.

His eyes and mine locked. His lips attached to mine, they felt like soft pillows against my own.

Jasper started moving at a more erratic pace, finally releasing himself deep inside of me.

He rolled off me, pulling me onto his chest.

Fuck, the tightness in my chest was becoming increasingly unbearable. I was getting tired of having unanswered questions. But I was too afraid to actually ask anything real.

Finally I decided to ask one that the answer would only bring relief to me. "Jasper?"

"Hmm." He moaned and began tickling with soft sweet stroked against my skin, causing me goosebumps.

I looked up at his face. His eyes were closed. So pretty. So unfair!

"When are you leaving." He slowly opened his eyes and took in a deep breath.

"My plane takes off at 12 O clock today." He drawled out squeezing me closer to his body. "Let's go to sleep, darlin." He kissed the top of my head.

This whole thing was such a beautiful lie.

But now as I drifted off to sleep in the arms of the man I could never have again I decided to tell myself the truth. This was over before it even began.

"_Bella?" My father was yelling for me from downstairs._

"_Yeah!"_

"_There is a guy here named Edward? Do you have a date?" He had come upstairs and whispered into my door._

"_Um, yes, dad, I have a date with Edward. We're going out with some friends."_

_These five people I had just met five days ago. Five beautiful people who wanted me with them._

_I looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't understand what they saw in me._

_My long brown hair curled lightly. My brown eyes the size of saucers. _

_Rosalie loaned me a blouse for tonight. It was a lovely soft fabric almost like silk. It dipped at the neck giving an illusion of cleavage, and light gray skinny jeans and black boots. Actually none of these clothes were mine. Nothing, except the socks and the panties. Even the bra I was wearing belonged to Rose._

_Rose said that Edward's favorite color was dark blue. I had nothing except a pair of sweats that were blue. So Alice and Rosalie were going to take me shopping this weekend. We were even getting a hotel room to make it a weekend. I wasn't sure how they were going to manage that, as you had to be 18 to register at a hotel._

_They always laughed at me when I questioned things like that and said I worried to much._

"_So Bella, you have a date? Honey. Why didn't you tell me?" My father was still at the door. I grabbed my favorite white seater and I opened it._

_God he looked so happy._

"_Sorry, I just forgot to tell you. Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked. My leg began to twitch._

"_I am just happy, Bella. He seems like a nice kid."_

"_We're going out as a group. Two other couples." I smiled as I told him the scenario. " This is our first date."_

_My dad smiled widely and gave me a hug. Just like me he didn't think I had it in me to actually go out on a date._

_I went downstairs in front of my dad. Edward was standing easily inside at the front door. None of them ever seemed nervous. Whereas I was a basic case from morning to night._

_He smiled a beautiful crooked smile that made my knees quake as I stopped in front of him. I bit my lower lip and blushed profusely. There was nothing to even be embarrassed about. But I blushed. I always blushed around Edward. _

"_Hi." He said looking directly into my eyes. He turned to my dad who was standing behind me slightly to the left. "Chief Swan, I'll take good care of her, sir." _

_My dad made some kind of growling noise and we left._

_We made it out of the house in one piece and I saw that everyone else was in Emmett huge Range Rover. He led me with his big strong hand on the small of my back._

_Edward opened the back passenger side door for me. Inside Alice and Jasper were wrapped up in each other's arms kissing. They broke apart to smile at me and Edward as we got into the vehicle._

"_Hey Bella!" Rosalie said from the front._

"_Hi." I was still completely nervous around these people. They all seemed to know it. _

_Alice leaned over and told me that exact same thing._

"_Bella, why are you so nervous around us?"_

_I looked at her through my eyelashes and shrugged. She smiled lightly at me. "Just relax sweetie. We love you." She squeezed my hand and Edward tightened his arm around my shoulder._

_It was the first time in my life I had ever felt like I belonged. _

_At the movies we all sat in a line, boy girl boy girl boy girl. Edward and I in the middle._

_With Edward's arm securely around my shoulder. He had been constantly stroking my hair, and playing with it with his fingers. His touch sent shivers up my spine. I would look up at him my eyes wide. He would always smile down at me sweetly._

_Half way through the movie he leaned down and spoke directly into my ear. "Bella. Can I kiss you?" His breath was warm and he smelled so sweet. _

_I nodded at him. _

_He leaned down and with sweet gentleness touched his lips to mine. _

The sun was coming through the small opening of my curtain.

It hurt to open my eyes.

I still wanted to sleep. Reality sucked. Memories and dreams made me happy.

Pain! What the fuck? I looked up and saw Mr. Mustachio's fat ass body wrapped around Jasper's head, but his damn back claws pushing my head out of the way.

"Dammit Mr. Mustachio!" I whispered swatting at his feet.

"Can we re-name your cat?" Jasper said in a sleep voice.

"What do you want to name him?" I sat up and slid off my bed.

"Something less gay would be nice." Jasper reached his arm up and started petting the cat.

"He's a eunuch what the hell does he care what his name is?"

"I'm gonna call him Butch." Jasper said happily.

"You can call him whatever you want from Texas. I am sure it will be very exciting for him when you call and leave him messages." _Getting the hint buddy? I'll fuck you constantly and break my own heart but don't be trying to steal my cat. I will have to smack you up side the head, asshole._

I threw on my robe and started to leave the bedroom to make some coffee.

"Bella." Jasper said as a statement.

I stopped mid step and waited. Mere hours from now and he would be gone and I could cry myself silly for all the dumbass choices I had made in the past week. Fuck that, in the past five years.

I turned to look at him. God he was breathtaking.

"Why do you want me to leave so bad? I thought we were getting along really good."

"You don't want me Jasper. I'm fine for now and if I want to fuck your friends I guess I would be even better. But other than that I am not what you want." _Never mind, I guess I was going to start the pity party early._

"What the fuck does that mean Bella?" He slanted his eyes and furrowed his brow. Yea! He's pissed.

I walked out of the room like the coward I am and always will be. I could hear Jasper getting out of bed and stopping, probably getting some clothes on. Because if we were going to fight, neither one of us wanted him nude.

I started getting water in my carafe for coffee trying to formulate all the brilliant witty one liners I could cock off to Jasper. He was smarter than me on his worst day and I was going to have my ass in a sling, I knew that fucking much.

"Bella. What the fuck are you trying to do?" Jasper came into the kitchen not with the attitude I was expecting. He was calm. He looked concerned.

_Look away from him Bella!_

_No! He needs to be an asshole! Why can nothing ever go my way?_

"Jasper, you're leaving." _The obvious is good. Stick with obvious and do not look at his eyes._ "It's not like this was going any where right? I mean shit you came here with the intention of buttering me to fuck Emmett and Edward again."

Remember that? Selling me out cheap. Using my own crush against me. They all knew what they were doing.

He took a deep breath. "Bella this is fucking bullshit!"

"Now it's time to go back to reality." I stayed calm.

"Fuck reality Bella! They didn't come. You and me got to be together." He was getting more pissed off.

"Then why are you so mad Jasper?"

"Fuck! I don't know." He yelled.

"Well when you figure it out then we can finish this little chat. Okay." I went over to the cupboard to get out coffee mugs. "You want coffee?"

_Hostess hat on._

The rest of the morning was tense to say the least.

Jasper mostly hung out with Mr. Mustachio, but constantly referring to him as Butch, and emphasizing it. _ Dick head._ Jasper would have a harder time walking away from my stupid disloyal cat then he would me.

I barely spoke to Jasper today.

Victoria called about ten to make sure I was okay.

"Hey baby doll? James said you came over all weird!" Victoria said.

"It's all cool now." I said barely registering an emotion.

"Bella, can I meet him?"

"No, he's leaving in about an hour. There is no need."

She took a deep breath.

"Do you want me to drive him to the airport Bella?" Victoria was a true friend to me. This fiasco proved that. She would never use me or abandon me. I hope.

"No, it's fine. I'll drive him. I'll call you when I get back."

I looked over and Jasper was staring at me from what was now his spot on my couch.

I would get down on my knees and beg this guy to stay with me. Because being a glutton for punishment makes me smile.

But he won't so I used my "_crazy passive aggressive chick who is having PMS issues so escape while you still have your balls_"excuse. I had perfected this shit over the years to get rid of guys. It was in my arsenal I usually only opened for the guys I couldn't stand, i.e. Aron from the other night. Never on the guys I would die for. I never thought I would use it on Jasper.

But I was all over this today.

Noon was not coming fast enough!

Jasper still insisted on driving my truck to DIA. I know now that it's more of a control freak issue than anything else.

On the drive across Denver I was quiet he was quiet. The engineers that created the Denver highway system had to have been high when they did it. It was mostly like a joke of gigantic proportions.

We got there in no time. Jasper drives like a Nascar wannabe.

Once he was out of my truck, I started to walk past him, so strong and bitch face in full on force, but he grabbed my hand as I started to pass him. He held it and began rubbing soft lazy circles on my knuckles. I stopped and stared at our hands.

Jasper brought his other hand over and cupped my chin bringing my face up so I was looking at him. The tears had already started. _Fuck me! I didn't want to cry in front of him! _It wasn't like I was going to be able to stop them.

Why the fuck couldn't he have just left? Walked away?

My heart was racing.

I could have seen him at the ten year reunion and been over him by then.

Jasper leaned in to me. His beautiful warm breath he smelled like sweet honey and musk.

"Bella." Jasper whispered.

His lips on mine.

Driving me crazy as always. His tongue licking along my bottom lip. I opened my mouth allowing him access. Our kiss deepened with both of us pushing. He brought his hands to my cheeks keeping my face attaching it to him.

With his thumbs he wiped away some of my tears. But they wouldn't stop falling.

"Please let me come back Bella."

I started to cry harder. He pulled me into his chest. Hugging me tightly to him. "You don't want me Jasper." I sobbed into him.

"I'll prove it to you." He rubbed his hands up and down my back. He kissed me sweetly on the lips.

I sniffled.

"Bella I am not good at relationships. I told you that." He took one hand and ran it through his wavy light blond hair. "Baby, I know I fucked up when I got here. Please." He was searching for the words.

Like I knew what the hell to say. I sucked at relationships too. Shit I wasn't even going to fight for the the love of my life. Because this is the way crushes were supposed to feel. Like they crushed you.

I looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

One more strong hug and kiss, "I'll call you." He said.

I couldn't believe him and that was the bottom line.

Then he was gone.

I headed home deciding to stop at the grocery store since classes start tomorrow, might as well have an easy time. I had doubled up on my schedule and a semester worth of work every summer, so graduation with my undergrad was happening this Spring. I needed to get my shit together and focus back on my studies and future career.

My cell buzzed while I waited in the check out line. I was busy being fascinated watching the older couple ahead of me fighting over whole wheat bread.

"Hello?"

"Bella. I am so sorry I know you are mad at me." Rosalie was pleading.

"How the hell did you plan it anyway." I went straight for the jugular.

"It wasn't like it was really planned, and those jerk offs said it was me. Fuckers! It was not me." She needed to take long breath.

I waited. It wasn't like I was going anywhere. Now the couple was fighting with the clerk over expiration dates of coupons.

"Bella." Rosalie said with a shaky voice. "I swear, I didn't mean for it to be like a set up, honey. When I got there Emmett and I went upstairs, of course we fucked. But then he was like after everybody leaves lets have a real party like we used to. And I was like, but I thought Bella wasn't supposed to do it. And he was like well Edward is okay with it now." She took another ragged breath. I could tell she was crying. "So I was like is Bella okay with it, and he was all like she will be."

I listened to her crying, but I said nothing.

"Bella?"

"Rose, it's not like I wasn't a willing participant. But that's what happened a few days ago. But what happened three years ago?"

Silence.

Sniffling.

"I fucked up Bella. So did Alice. We should have never been with Edward. We were just young and dumb. Jasper and Emmett were always trying to get Edward to involve you. But before I even did it I heard Edward say something that pissed me off."

"What did he say?"

"He said you were to good to do that shit." She seethed.

"So you fucked him for that?" They really were young and dumb! I had to smile. Wow, Rose you really showed Edward. I thought to myself. What a fool. I couldn't even be mad at her anymore.

"Pretty much yeah."

I wanted to ask her if she realized that she only proved Edward right. But she sounded so small. I had no desire to destroy her.

"Do you know what happened to Alice?" I decided I didn't care anymore about the night at my father's house.

"No, why?"

"Jasper told me some stuff about her. I just wonder if she really left because she was just mad at us. You guys had a lot more secrets than I ever knew about."

I was getting tense.

"Bella, this isn't going to help but I wasn't with Edward very often. It was like only a half dozen times or something."

_Wow she was right that didn't help._

"Fuck Rose! I don't want to talk about that anymore." I said it a little louder than necessary. The old couple was getting ready to pay but their attention along with the clerk and everyone else in line had their creepy nosy eyes on me.

Whatever happened to ignoring strangers? Jerks.

"Okay, honey! I am just _so_ sorry!" Rose pleaded into the phone.

I took in a deep breath and glared at my fellow shoppers around me.

I took a deep breath.

"One more thing, what did you tell Jasper and Edward about the guy I was breaking up with?"

"Just what you told me. That he was an annoyance and you didn't like him at all." She said a little calmer.

"What did they say to you about it?" I wasn't really sure I wanted this answer for a number of different reasons.

"Bella, Jasper and Edward both wanted to know because they both want you. So they both wanted to know if they were going to have to kick that guy's ass. Or if you really liked him, then they would leave you alone. Actually I don't think they planned on leaving you alone." Rose hesitated for a second, and then continued. "Jasper and Edward got into a fight over you."

"Why?"

"Jasper told Edward he was an idiot to have even let you go, and Edward said that if Jasper touched you again he would kill him. Then those mother fuckers decided they were going to see you all together!"

I paid for my groceries while I listened to Rose freak out again. I had always felt it was rude to remain on the phone while dealing with another human being namely the clerk here at the grocery store who was giving me the stink eye. But being polite wasn't on my radar today.

"Yeah, I heard about that and that is why I got so pissed at Jasper."

"Oh Bella. I think my brother really likes you. He is just so fucked in the head. He would never have fought with Edward if he didn't."

I wasn't about to talk to Rosalie again about my feelings for Jasper. When I needed a shoulder to cry on it would be Victoria's.

"Whatever." My standard response for any subject I just wanted over with. "Rosie, I am on my way home. Can I call you later in the week or something?" I asked quietly.

"Promise me you will. I don't want to lose you again Bella! I am so sorry about everything. I know I wasn't a good friend to you."

"Okay, Rose. I'll talk to you some other time." I hung up the phone not really sure if I got the answers I wanted or the one's I needed.

When I got to my house, Victoria was waiting for me on my couch petting the traitor cat.

"What happened? Did this guy hurt you?" She jumped up when I came through the door. Right away with her mama bird routine.

"No. I just believed the fantasy before I heard the reality." I said calmly, heading into the kitchen.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"He wasn't looking for the same thing I was. He was looking for something a lot more interesting then I could provide." I said sadly. My shoulders finally caving in.

"What could be more interesting than you?" Victoria said pulling me into a hug. She always did know how to make me feel better.

She let me cry for a few minutes and then I needed to get to work.

As we unpacked my groceries I realized I bought nothing but comfort food, so did Vic.

"Okay, I will give you this week with this shit. But starting next week we are hitting the gym and your ass is back in shape." She had an eyebrow cocked at me while she holding two tubes of cookie dough and flailing them at me.

I smiled at her and nodded. I was pretty sure Jasper wasn't really going to call. So I would need to get my shit together at some point.

Victoria hung out with and Mr Mustachio throughout the afternoon while I ate the most disgusting food concoctions I could get my hands on to make me feel better. Victoria would just look at me like I was making her physically ill.

Her cell rang and she became excited almost immediately. She smiled her delighted smile at me through the entire conversation. Fuck I wish I could smile like that.

"Stop acting like such a baby!" She mouthed to me.

Oh, I guess having my sad face was getting to be too much. Didn't this shit just happen? Couldn't I have a couple hours of self pity?

She closed her phone and started squealing. "Guess who is coming to town?"

"Who." I asked with not even a hint of enthusiasm.

"Peter."

"Who's Peter?" I turned and started watching the television again.

"James' cousin." I slowly turned my head to face her.

_Oh God no this cannot be happening to me!_

I started shaking my head. "Hell no!"

"Why not Bella. He's a nice guy." Then she got all sarcastic. _Bitch_. "I mean I know a nice guy is a total bore and he might not fuck you over immediately, so where is the fun in that? Right." Victoria's cocky tirade was getting on my nerves.

I let my head fall back on the arm of the couch in a show of a mock death.

"When is this farce date going to happen?" I asked disgusted at myself at quickly I would cave.

"Friday. Almost a whole week away. He's really smart and cute." She was really excited.

"How cute is cute?"

"Don't even start with that shit Bella. It's not only about looks."

"So he's ugly?" _Fuck!_

"No he isn't ugly! He's very handsome and he's southern. Since you like that kind of guy now and all." She smirked at me.

_Bitch! _I do love a southern accent. When Jasper would talk I almost came from the sound of his smooth as honey voice and accent. That is an instant turn on for me. Frankly any accent could get me going.

"Does he know he is getting set up?" I asked.

"Yes. I told him all about you and even texted him your picture awhile ago. He's flying in for James' birthday. So it should be fun. He's only here for the weekend he goes to college in Texas."

_I hate Texas._ I said to myself. "Wait! Do you have a picture of him?"

"Nope sorry. You're just gonna have to be surprised."

"I hate surprises." I said, and finally Mr. Mustachio jumped into my lap and started purring.

**AN- Umm, can I tell you guys sumpin? Mynxi told me about this freaky ass story for the Darkward lovers only. Buried Among the Begonias. _HOLYSHIT_! Just the name sends shivers down my spine. **

**Now this story is not for the faint hearted. Oh no *cue nervous laughter* this will bring you to your knees freaky ass stuff. I loved ever chapter Durty Nelly has put out there. But when I say it is dark, I mean it is like dried blood on a blacktop dark. Really really dark. Do you feel me? So if you guys read it and don't like it, don't be cryin to me and Mynxi, I told you it was jacked up. I am in freakin love with that nutty shit tho. So with that my new author girl crush is now on Durty Nelly. You guys must know I am fickle bitch. My love goes to Mynxi (I share my time between her and Cindy, my two text (fuck) buddies) and this chapter is dedicated to her since she did the happy dance for me and she knows I like it like that. Cindy won't let me tell you what she did for me...**

.net/s/4968509/1/

Wanted

If you read this...review this....it gives my little life a purpose and makes me smile. And if you don't I'll ask tell Mr. Mustachio to come over and use your bathtub as a kitty litter box.


	6. Chapter 6

AN-Twilight belong so SM.

Wanted Chapter 6 JPOV

"Fuck!" I said under my breath as I walked into the airport. "What the hell is happening to me?"

Walking away from Bella actually hurt.

This girl! Had I wanted to fuck her for so long I had lost my grip reality? I wanted her more than anything.

I ended up wanting her more for than just a fuck along time ago. I ended up falling for her. Alice ended up hating me for it.

It was me that pointed her out to everyone. A fucking decision I have always regretted.

Cute little brunette.

I was on my way to Alice's house when I first saw her.

So shy and sweet.

I saw her for the first time three days before school started. She was outside of the public library. All I could figure was that this pretty little brunette was waiting for it to open. It made me smile.

Her tiny little body wrapped up in jeans, and an over sized pink t-shirt with flip flops on, sitting on the steps reading a book. She was beautiful. The sun hitting her hair giving it the illusion of red. A pretty girl reading a book on the steps of the library. If I hadn't already been with Alice, I would have been with that girl.

I would have stopped, and talked to her. I would have made her mine.

I knew I was fucked. I wanted her first. She could have been mine. But I needed to stay away from her.

I was an unfeeling prick by the time my sister and I arrived in Forks.

Rose and I had just moved to Fork's two months before with our mother. Carol Whitlock had quietly escaped our fucked father one stormy night in Austin with us in tow and ran to the wettest place in the Continental United States. She figured, that since we were all sun lovers he would never guess we would go someplace like that.

She was right, he never found us. Nobody did.

As soon as we arrived in Forks, my mother told us to go by her mother's maiden name Hale. She made Rose add "alie" to her name and changed mine from Jared to Jasper. Both Rose and I went along with our mother's idea. Our father was a sick piece of shit so escaping him for the rest of our lives without killing him was a great idea. He liked to use my mother as a punching bag and Rose as eye candy. As soon as I had been old enough I returned the punching bag favor. But he just started threatening me with guns and bullets.

My mother became terrified that he would rape Rose and kill me. So we left.

Rose and I met our best friends quickly. Emmett, Edward, and Alice were as fucked as we were. Criminals and druggies. Matches made in heaven.

When I got to Alice's that day, Rose was already wrapped up with Emmett on the couch and Edward was fighting with Lauren on the phone. Apparently they were breaking up. Like I cared.

About an hour later we headed out and I decided it would be a great idea to go to the library since I couldn't keep my mind off that cute girl sitting outside it earlier. They all laughed and thought I was kidding. No I was most definitely not kidding.

I was able to get us close, at least to the park across the street.

Emmet, Edward and me ended up playing HORSE on the basketball court while Alice and Rose talked sitting off in the grass.

I was pathetic. Constantly looking at the library door as it opened and closed.

Then just as a police cruiser was pulling up out front I saw a flash of pink and then I saw her heading out the front door. I conveniently smacked the ball off the court so I could get a bit closer to look.

She looked so innocent.

Such a pretty face.

As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I had Edward up my ass.

"That's the police chief's daughter. Her name is Bella I think. She's in our class." He said and I nodded.

He didn't seem to care. But then I made the biggest mistake. "Damn, she's pretty." I muttered.

His head snapped up and he took a good long look. "Yeah? She is. Fuck, I never noticed before. She's real shy too."

"I like shy girls." I smiled.

He laughed and slapped my shoulder.

"Then why are you with Alice. That chick is the least shy girl I ever met." Bringing me back to reality.

My girlfriend Mary Alice Brandon. My sister's best friend. A troubled girl that had daddy issues,

substance abuse problems, and I was pretty sure a nymphomaniac. On paper that is the perfect high school girl friend. Now that I had seen Bella. The work that was Alice suddenly seemed like a back breaker.

We headed back to the court after the pretty girl named Bella got into her father's cruiser and left.

I had opened a window for Edward that couldn't be shut now.

Edward and Emmett were the most popular kids at our new school. They both played football like me. But they had their shit lives that nobody knew about. Emmett and Edward both liked to drink and vandalize, which got them both a month each in juvenile hall. Right after they got out is when Rose and I met them. I had done juvenile time too for stealing cars. Rose liked to steal smaller items. Rose and I figured why not when we met them at a gas station late one night. Besides Emmett wanted to fuck Rose so bad he didn't know which way was up. And she loved the attention.

Alice was Rose's find. They were both shoplifting and discovered each other at a mall in Seattle. Rose brought Alice home like a stray puppy. A beautiful, fucked up, hyper, horny stray puppy. She grabbed my dick ten minutes after she walked through the door. Who was I to say no to a lady?

But my easy life got fucked after seeing Bella that first time outside of the library. Edward was constantly talking about Bella. Fucker would look at me when he did. He knew I wanted her too. But I was already involved. He was un-involving himself quickly from Lauren and making himself available for the pretty shy girl who loved to read, quickly. Bella.

_Fuckin' asshole_! I was beginning to hate my new best friend Edward. For the couple days before school started he plotted. Emmett even helped him. He couldn't believe his friend wanted a nice girl.

Edward was even smart enough to involve my sister and Alice. Getting them to promise to become friends with Bella so he could assure getting close to her. After he described her to them, the girls readily agreed to help Edward. Excited for a project. Someone to steal for?

Never mind that Bella was perfect already, and I hadn't even met her yet.

Now there was a big ditch all the way around pretty little Bella. One that I couldn't get across without looking like a total douche. Edward was good. I had to admire him for his thoroughness.

Since Forks High School was so small everyone knew each other. Basically they were up each other's asses. Edward had his dad, the chief at the hospital make sure that we had most of our classes together and he even smiled about making sure Bella had all her classes lined up with ours as well. The good doctor would do anything to keep his son from embarrassing him again.

It was kind of cool.

If nothing else I could watch that cute little ass.

But I also knew once Edward started squeezing that particular ass I was going to go crazy.

First class of the day was Speech. We were waiting outside in the hall. Under the pretense of talking to each other but Edward just wanted mark his territory.

As soon as Bella came around the corner she looked at us and her eyes widened. If I didn't already have a hard on for her, I would have developed one then.

She looked like an angel.

She blushed and looked at her feet.

Rose and Alice made it so Bella would have to look up or at least talk to them before she could get in the door to the classroom. _ Bitches._ I had to smile.

She did just what we all knew she would. Poor little angel. She had no idea how she was marked by us. I started it, like a dick I went along with it just to be near her. But Edward would have her and the girls would pretend to like her so he could get what he wanted.

If it wouldn't have grossed everyone out Edward would have pissed around her once she sat down.

It was great the way it all blew up in our faces that day though. We all fell for Bella.

She was sweeter than I could have imagined. So precious.

She stared at me with beautiful wide eyes as I read the Declaration of Independence. I actually thought she was looking at me like she liked me. If only.

Alice and Rose asked her to join us after school for a study group. All we did was go to mine and Rose's house and watch television. Edward wouldn't let Bella leave the room unless he was around her. He stayed like that for the rest of time we were together.

We all played our parts very well. Rose and Alice making Bella feel welcome and trying to get her to relax. Edward was constantly touching her and looking at her. Emmett joked with her. I was the one making her nervous. She would look out of the corner of her eye at me or I would catch her looking at me and then she would blush. She was too cute. I knew she liked me too.

She was my dream girl. She was Edward's girlfriend. She was Alice's muse. She was Rose's altar. And Emmett thought of her as the cutest little thing on the planet.

None of us could touch Bella really. She was too pure and innocent for all of us. Our dirty little secrets stayed behind the ruse we all put up in front of her. She loved us all right away. None of us wanted to lose that. She thought we were her friends. It wasn't like we didn't want to be. We just knew deep down that none of us were good enough for her.

Being with Bella made us feel good again.

After about a year of watching her with Edward I became a little difficult for Alice to be around.

She was acting more erratic. Finally she was going for the hard stuff. I found her buying smack off of the local speed head in town. Sick little fuck got a blow job and a twenty off her.

Alice started crying and shit when I found her kneeling for the piece of shit Cais, while he held the product above her head while she finished her side of the arrangement. I beat the hell out of the punk. He threatened to call the cops. I laughed and invited him to.

Alice promised to make it up to me later after the movie. Anything I wanted. I told her I would let her know what she could do for me. I really didn't care anymore. Alice was a mess. But she knew my dirty little secret of boosting cars and selling the parts hadn't dissipated. She knew my sister was still on probation for yet another round of shoplifting. We all had our dirty little secrets.

Everyone of us except Bella.

Now Edward was acting like a good boy. Every night with Bella. It drove me nuts when he would come in all happy and I knew he had been fucking her. Dumbass smile on his face. He was so happy he had been her first. Teaching her. He was such an asshole.

Then it came to me what Alice could do. She always had a thing for Edward and since she was high, I figured a few little hints and she would be begging for it. After Edward and Emmett left to drop off my sister and Bella, I put my plan into action.

Edward couldn't turn down easy pussy. He just didn't have it in him.

"Hey Alice, what are you gonna do for me?" I asked her while she was waiting for her hit to burn her veins. "I want you to do what you want. Who is that you want Alice?" I asked sweetly kissing her neck.

She licked her lips as her blood stream filled with her new poison.

"You know I want Edward."

"Oh yeah, you want Emmett too?" Emmett had told me about a week before that Alice had given him a blow job.

Alice still felt guilty. Perfect.

"I'm sorry about that Jazzy baby." It wasn't like I was faithful. Thank you Lauren for being so lonely after Edward dumped her. She had been easily manipulated into lots of dirty positions.

I shook my head. "It's alright." I tried to reassure Alice.

I knew all of Alice's secrets before I even stuck my dick in her. None of this was a surprise. I wasn't wholesome or a good person. This was the way people were supposed to act in my world. Bella was the only exception.

"I'll fuck all of you together if you want me to." She slurred her words and smiled at me.

If I was a good guy I wouldn't have taken advantage of my obviously damaged girlfriend.

But I wasn't. I pulled out my cell and called them both. You think I'd offered them a couple virgins each, not a used up drug addict who was so consumed with her own guilt she couldn't see past her own face.

I didn't touch Alice that night.

I never touched her again.

But Emmett and Edward couldn't keep their hands off of her. I watched sometimes. But after awhile I just left the room.

Then Rose found out. She was devastated. A least for a second.

Rose had been looking for Emmett after they had a fight and came over to Alice's using a spare key. I was in the basement watching David Letterman when I heard my sister scream her head off from Alice's bedroom.

"What the fuck is this shit!" Rose screamed. "You fucking whore Alice!"

I ran up the stairs to see my screeching sister pulling my pseudo girlfriend by the hair out of her bedroom and beating her senseless. Emmett was desperately trying to pull Rose off Alice, getting his face and arms scratched in the process.

I stood at the top of the steps and laughed. I saw Edward standing behind the commotion pulling on his jeans laughing too.

While the fight raged on Edward walked over to me as we watched the shit hit the fan.

"Guess we should have told Rose." I said. He nodded and shook his head from the craziness.

"Fuck I better get home." Edward said.

"I want Bella." I demanded.

He turned and gaped at me.

"No way! Bella shouldn't be part of this shit. Come on man!"

"That's bullshit Edward. You know she likes me."

"I know. But she's too good. Too innocent. I won't do that to her. Just because you let me have Alice."

"I didn't let you have Alice. She wanted your ass. I want Bella and you know she wants me. So ask her."

"Whatever. I can't betray her." He was desperate.

"You're fucking her best friend. You already did." I pointed out the obvious.

He huffed and turned and walked out of the house pulling his shirt over his head with one hand while carrying his shoes in the other.

After that night Rose broke up with Emmett and refused to speak to me or Edward. She never told Bella about any of it. So I knew then that Rose had an angle. She had always liked Edward too. There was a reason Alice and Rose were so easily manipulated by Edward. They both wanted to fuck him.

After a couple weeks Rose stopped acting like a bitch and fell back into her kleptomaniac ways with Alice. "Shit prom is coming up" Rose told me.

Edward and I were still not seeing eye to eye on the Bella thing. I finally got to be alone with Bella one night after a party at Jessica Stanley's.

The party was humming real good with Alice and Rose getting so shit faced they decided to fuck Emmett and Edward in the back of Edward's Volvo. Bella was confused and nervous when she couldn't find anyone. I had conveniently stayed behind with her to just watch her all night. Like the fucking stalker I had become.

When Bella decided to ask some of our team mates from football where Edward was I knew we were going to have problems. Drunk athletes and pretty girls who were drunk and upset was a very bad combination. So I reached around Bella's waist and gave her a squeeze before she got a chance to get any closer to them.

"Hi Jasper!" She said a little more excitedly than she meant to. Her blush gave her away.

"Hey beautiful. What are you doing talking to those idiots?"

"I can't find Edward! I think he left without me." _What I wouldn't give to bend you over beautiful._

"No, he would never do that." I was trying to sound sweet.

"We had a fight." She looked sad.

"What happened?" I asked her and started walking us out the back door, and away from the parked cars where I knew our friends were.

We stopped by a tree in the back yard and when she looked up at me I saw the tears streaming down her face. Shit! That face and her tears broke my heart.

I pushed some stray hair behind her ear and lightly stroked her cheek. She was a more than a little tipsy. I was going to keep my dick in my pants, no matter how hard and uncomfortable it was. I would not take advantage of this angel.

"He wants to break up with me." She sniffled. I offered her my beer. She smiled and took a sip. I groaned internally thinking about her mouth on my dick. I gotta stop thinking of her that way. Someday, I would have her. But she couldn't regret it. I wanted her forever.

"Why would he ever want to break up with you, Angel? Is he a fool?"

"He wants us to date other people when he gets to Penn." She leaned her head on the tree and took in a deep breath. I couldn't help myself. I watched her breasts heave as she breathed.

_My hands on that chest. _

I shook my head trying to think about monkeys throwing shit against walls. _That helps._

I also knew this was Edward's way of offering Bella up for our twisted play.

Both Emmett and I said we were going to end it with our girls so we could go to school without anything pulling us back here.

But then again if it was Bella. I would have never let her go.

Edward was a fucking idiot.

I pulled Bella close to give her a hug while she cried. I smelled her hair and felt it's softness against my face.

She was heartbroken. Even if Edward did try and convince Bella to be with all of us. I would make sure Emmett and I weren't available. She shouldn't be ruined.

She was going to Boulder, Colorado two months early to take extra classes to put herself on the fast track at CU. Once again Edward played it smart to protect Bella. Never mind that I would have never let it happen.

Two weeks after the party Emmett, Edward, and I all went to Seattle to a strip club. It was stupid and fun. But apparently while we were gone Lauren and Alice had a talk. Now why the fuck me fucking Lauren and sharing her with Edward and Emmett, would piss off Alice was unknown to me. But Alice's real problem was when Lauren told her about me watching Bella.

When we got back from Seattle Alice was all about screaming like a hyena. Fuck, I had an instant headache.

"You have always been in love with her haven't you?" She screamed at me.

"Are you pissed because I fucked Lauren or because you think I wanna fuck Bella?"

As a small potted plant whipped by my head and landed on the wall behind me, she screamed.

"You love her! You never loved me!"

"No Alice I never loved you." I said. She slowly slipped down to the floor of her kitchen in a ball crying. I walked out her front door and never looked back. I also never admitted anything about Bella. She was my secret.

Then I go home for one fucking Christmas because my sister begged me, so I could meet our mother's new boyfriend.

Bella called, it was like the most beautiful Christmas present I could have ever gotten.

"Hello?" I heard my mother answer the phone a couple days before I was supposed to head back to Texas. Where I ran back to as soon as I could. I wanted to see my dad again. I wanted to end him when I did.

"Hey Jasper darlin', there is a sweet lil' lady on the phone for you." My mom yelled from the kitchen. I was sitting in the family room watching a football game with my mom's new boyfriend Harry Clearwater. Cool guy. Loved college football and my mom. I thought the guy was great.

I grabbed the phone that was by the couch.

"Yellow." I said. My accent back in full force.

"Jasper?" An angel's voice from my past.

"Yeah, is this Miss Bella?" The smile that crept across my face could not be stopped.

Harry looked at me and smiled himself. "You want some privacy there?"

I shook my head no.

"Oh my God, listen to your accent!" Bella squealed.

"Yeah, you like it?"

"Oh well yes Mr. Hale." She giggled. "Listen I've decided to have a party. I want you to come."

"You were hardly the party animal in school darlin'."

"I know. I am a little more outgoing now."

Oh thank God! "I will be there." I figured I would take Laurent, one of our team mates. I hadn't hung out with Emmett and Edward since we had been back. We had really seen too much of each other over the last two years.

Whenever we got a chance we would visit each other for the sole purpose of fucking each other's girlfriends. We got the taste for gang bangs because of Alice and it never went away. We never did it with anyone else, just us three.

Edward started dating a girl his freshman year, Tanya. She was a hell cat and loved to fuck all of us. Emmett had a different girl every time we visited him. I used two different girls for these visits. Maria and Carmen. They both loved to party and thought that Emmett and Edward were adorable. But I never let them near the girls I was really dating. Emmett and Edward would never meet them.

Bella answered the door looking even more exquisite than ever. She always looked like a china doll with her long brown hair framing her face and her pale skin. Her lips were the color of pink tea roses. My grandmother had a set of tea cups that color. Every time I looked at her I wanted to introduce her to my grandmother. So fucked up.

Rose, Emmett, and Edward all noticed I couldn't keep my hands off of Bella at her party. I kept my arm around her waist, I couldn't stop touching her hair. Rose and Emmett they watched with their fucked up smiles. Edward just glared.

Then I got some of the worst news possible.

"So Edward is finally going to get off his high horse and let us fuck Bella." Emmett said while I was swallowing my beer.

I almost choked.

"What the fuck?!"

"I already talked to Rosie, she is gonna help it to be nice and mellow. We'll do it after everyone leaves." He started to walk away.

"Wait Emmett!"

Suddenly Bella was at my side with those beautiful eyes looking at me innocently.

Was I going to be this big of an asshole?

Her shirt gapped just a little and I could see straight down to her bra covered tits. My dick instantly started to get hard.

I was pretty drunk and I wanted Bella. Fuck I've wanted this girl forever.

This may be the only chance I get to have her.

Yeah. I was going to do it. Edward was watching us from across the room. His face hard. He looked pissed.

Payback is a bitch mother fucker. I was just sorry it had to be Bella.

But we were all adults now. It wasn't like we were going to rape her. She could say no. Finally Edward and Emmett told me the plan.

Rosalie would get Bella relaxed and then we would move in. If Bella wanted it stopped at any time we would. That was Edward's contribution.

"No shit Edward! We aren't going to rape Bella." Emmett said incredulously to our idiot friend. I had to laugh. It was the same thing I was thinking.

There she was dancing with Rose. The fact that my sister actually was starting this pissed me off. I wanted Bella away from them. Now!

But when I got to Bella and she ground her ass on my dick it was like my brain took a vacation. She smelled like fucking flowers and she was such a good kisser. My hands on her bare breasts after all this time, on her skin. I could smell her arousal and I was undone.

I fucked her. Fucked Bella like I would never fuck anyone again.

She was beautiful.

She fucked the others.

But her eyes always came back to me.

I sat on the couch stroking my dick watching her. Watching her eyes. Watching her body. Then she crawled over to me. I couldn't help but smile. It felt like I was on my hands and knees for this girl for so long.

Bella took my dick in her mouth. God this woman felt so good. All these years I wanted her. She was worth every minute. She was worth everything. Then Edward came over and started fucking her while she fucked me with her mouth.

Even while I knew he was inside her, our eyes never unlocked.

Once we were done, an embarrassing hush came over all of us.

We had never felt guilty before. None of us. Never.

Bella blushed that innocent pink again and I couldn't help but smile.

I promised Bella I would come visit her in Denver the following day.

I followed Rosalie and Emmett down to Seattle. I rode with Edward in his rental car.

"So what are you going to do with Bella?" He asked like a pouty kid.

"What the fuck do you think I am going to do with Bella?" I started laughing.

"I still love her man." He said. I looked at him shocked.

"You loved her? That is bullshit! You fucked my sister and Alice! Let's not forget Lauren."

"Bella was mine! I was never going to share her with you guys."

"Well you did now fucker!" We were screaming at each other over Bella in Edward's rental car.

This was the fight we had been dying to have for years.

By the time we made it Rose's apartment we were ready to go blows. Rose went into her apartment before she even noticed.

Emmett told her we were going clubbing and we ended up fighting in a park and then finally having coffee in a diner a block away.

"Alright I got a solution." Emmett finally said regarding our impasse. Edward and I looked at him still pissed. "We go out there and do it again."

"No!" We both yelled at him.

"What the fuck? Maybe we'll just see if she wants too."

"I am going there alone." I said.

"That's bullshit Jasper." Edward said.

"She wants just me."

Then my wimpy ass started listening to their bullshit. How she let us all fuck her. Bella liked it. She wasn't as innocent as she used to be. One more time. We could all be with her one more time.

It got me thinking that Bella really wasn't the innocent little angel I thought she was. That precious little girl was gone. A sexy vixen had taken her place. Maybe she liked this. Maybe we could all have her, the way we all wanted her.

I made them promise I would go in first. A least one day ahead. They agreed.

But when I talked to Bella on the phone she sounded so excited about my visit. Laughing about the night before. I figured she did like it. One more time. I could have her one more time. I also got pissed at her. She didn't want just me. She wanted Edward again.

When I arrived in Colorado there she was looking like a goddamn goddess. She looked like sex. So beautiful. I had to have her as soon as we got to her house. She was more than willing. Still thinking this was a good idea, I told her about Emmett and Edward.

I wasn't expecting her to be so pissed.

She was furious. Heartbroken. My shithole act was already in full force. Somehow Edward got to act like the good guy. It pissed me off that Bella believed him.

I explained it to her. Not all of it. I actually made us sound better than we were. We were freaks. She deserved better.

She thought she was used. She was right.

Bella let me make love to her again. I wasn't sure why. Maybe she was trying to get me out her system too. I couldn't let her go now. She was so angry today. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell it was all bullshit.

But she would never believe me. Good. She wasn't stupid. She was heartbroken. Her friends lied to her. All of us did.

I asked her to make me be a better man. She never answered me.

I wanted Bella Swan. I had to get her to forgive me.

She is still my angel.

I am in love with her.

I arrived back in College Station. at my on campus apartment and saw one of my roommates looking at his phone texting.

"Hey man! How was your trip?" He asked me.

"Alright." I threw my bags behind the couch.

"I thought you were gonna be back a couple days ago."

"I took a detour to Colorado to visit the CU campus." I said. Trying to wrap my brain around how I was supposed to get back to Boulder.

"No shit! I'm going there. My cousin teaches at CU. I need to borrow some of those frequent flyer miles. His girlfriend is setting me up with this hottie." He got up and went into the kitchen. "You want a beer man?"

"Yeah get me one. I'll get you some miles man, no problem." I told him rubbing my hands through my hair. "Hey you want a fifth wheel? Maybe I could hook up with an old friend there."

Peter came back in and nodded. He handed me a beer and we settled in to watch the Orange bowl. I couldn't help but smile. There is always a solution to every problem. I would surprise her.

**AN- So I had to give you JPOV. He's an asshole. Hell they all are. But at least he realized it. So that is a step in the right direction right??**

**MYNXI is my Beta and my buddy who is helping write this shit! Thank you woman!**

**After you read it fucking review it.**

**Pimpin time....well I'm still in love with Buried Among the Begonias. But this time I am going to suggest Exposure sweet Lord it is hotter than hell!! Edward/Bella and are you ready.... Rose!**

**.net/s/5393516/1/Exposure**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, SM does. I just mess with her characters.**

**AN- Warning...underage alcohol consumption, illegal drug use....what else (taps chin)? SEX lots of it!**

**Wanted**- Chapter 7

Wednesday.

I looked at my phone.

Three more missed calls.

My old friends were suddenly loving me like never before.

I wonder if it was my ability to be completely gullible just like when I was a kid. Since I was just so "loved" by them.

Jasper had finally gotten the hint when I didn't answer his phone calls or return his texts since he left. He had mentioned repeatedly that he wanted to see me again. "I bet you do, shit-head." I said to my phone. I looked at my traitor cat, "You can forget seeing that one again mister!" Mr. Mustachio simply walked away. Little jerk.

Rosalie and Edward not quite as quick on the uptake as Jasper.

I almost answered Edward's text last night. When he told me how much I had meant to him and how much he missed me now. Maybe we could even start seeing each other again. I almost vomited in my mouth at that one, but I wanted to answer him and ask if is was Emmett or Jasper's dick in me that meant the most to him. But I pulled back and shut off my phone instead.

Victoria was making be go to the gym and do Pilates or yoga or any other stupid exercise regime she could come up with to try and pull me out of my funk.

I was depressed. I knew it was my own fault.

I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet and then I let Jasper fuck me again even after I had found out. I finally broke down and told Victoria everything. I mean everything.

She just sat there. Her mouth open. Shocked.

I slammed my face into my couch pillow and asked her to say something.

"Sweetie, I am just surprised. I can't believe you had sex with four people at one. That is just mind boggling." She said trying to sound reassuring.

"Have you never watched porn?" I already knew that answer, Victoria was most definitely not a prude, and she loved porn, another reason her and James got along.

"Well I just didn't realize, you know that it was possible. Did you let them do you at the same time?"

"Oh my God, Victoria!"

"I really don't know why that is so shocking. You had sex with four people. One was an ex, one was the lust of your life, and then lets not forget the girl!" She chuckled, getting up and heading into the kitchen. I heard her opening the fridge grabbing beer. Thank the Lord!.

"So, are you seeing Jasper again?"

"Hell no!" I said taking my beer from her.

"Well why did you sleep with him again? You could have just kicked him out after you found out what perverts they all were."

I shrugged.

"Oh you know Isabella, you are in love with him. No matter how big of an asshole he is." She smugly announced.

I nodded and set my head on the back of couch.

"I can't be with him again though."

"Well he sounds like a complete idiot, but I think you should take his calls." I was shocked.

"Seriously?!" I squeaked. "You want me to talk to him? I thought you would want to cut off his dick!"

"Bella you're a big girl. It's not like he raped you or coerced you really. You were into it with all of them and then you let him stay after you found out everything. You kind of gave him mixed signals, babe."

"How the hell do you figure? They totally planned that shit!"

"Well, yeah. It sounds bad. And they were assholes for all being in on it without your knowledge. But I don't know. You still did it. Wouldn't you still have done it if you had known?" She chuckled a little. "You aren't exactly a virginal angel Bella."

Damn, she had a point. I was so busy pointing fingers, I forgot about all the shit I had done since I moved to Boulder.

Victoria and I went to a party when she moved in with me after I finished my freshman summer session and we were starting our regular freshman year. At the party, I got a guy to go down on me in the hallway of the gym after the football players broke in on a prank. Then I took off before reciprocating the favor.

That was the first time Victoria called me a "guy". "The shit you do to them is vicious!" She had squealed at me the following weekend when I did the same thing to the state wrestling champion.

"I am a whore huh?"

Victoria shook her head.

"Whore might be too strong a word. But you did learn about relationships from these people. So they just taught you to be an asshole like them with sex. Frankly you deserve to be with one of those guys."

Now she was laughing while I looked at her shocked.

"You like Jasper, you always have. Just answer his damn calls. See if you guys can see eye to eye. Or fuck him and his friends again. I actually like seeing you on the receiving end."

"You are such a bitch!"

"No. You are cruel to guys. I haven't met one guy that you have dated that deserved to be treated the way they are." She shook her head.

"So I deserved this?"

"Karma."

"What about them what kind of Karma do they get?"

"They all wanna screw you again, and you won't. That alone makes their little dicks get even smaller."

I contemplated telling her that none of them, Jasper, Edward, or Emmett were lacking in that department. But I decided to not shove it in her face.

"I thought psych majors wouldn't believe in karma?"

"I have no idea why you would think that. Bella, you know you can always return the favor. You can take all your pride back." She said with a smile.

"You think I should do them again?"

"Not the way they did you. Just use them for what you want. You've never had a problem with it before. I am just going to have to wait to see if you are ever going to have a mature relationship." She smiled at me.

Suddenly my cell phone started ringing.

_Edward._

I showed Victoria and she immediately started laughing. What a bitch!

"Hello." I said, watching Victoria get on her coat and head out of my house.

"Bella. Thank you."

"What's up Edward?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"Okay."

"I actually wasn't expecting you to answer. I forgot what the hell I wanted to say." He chuckled a little.

"Well why don't you tell me about school? We really didn't get a chance to talk when I saw you last." I raised my voice a little at the end.

He laughed.

"That's true." Edward stopped laughing after a little while. "So how was Jasper's visit?" He asked with a little bit of tenseness in his voice.

"It was alright. Why?"

I already knew the answer. Emmett, Rose, and Jasper all told me that Edward was jealous of Jasper's visit.

This must be one of the things that Victoria was talking about. I did like to mess with guys. I got off on it. I was thinking about doing it to Edward now. Messing with his head, telling him how much I loved him then turning around and talking about Jasper. I could be a bitch.

"I don't like him being alone with you."

I let out a little giggle.

"Edward, were you jealous?"

"God, I.... are you kidding me?" He chuckled lightly.

I could tell he was pushing his hair back with his left hand. The boy had the same nervous habit his entire life. "I want to see you again Bella."

"Really? Why?" I was actually enjoying this. _ I was a bitch._

"Bella, do you ever think about you and me anymore? If we would have stayed together, where we would be right now."

This was the sad part: I had obsessed about Edward for a couple years after we broke up. I obsessed about both him and Jasper.

"Yes." I said quietly. I should lie.

"I sometimes think about if we had gone to school together. I bet we'd be living together or something. If I hadn't been so fuckin' dumb and broke up with you. Bella I was an idiot."

"You weren't an idiot Edward. We thought it was the right thing to do."

"I know. My dad, you know. He was worried that I would end up getting you pregnant or something and then we wouldn't finish school. He was an ass."

"So he thought you were going to get me pregnant. Never mind we were both pre-med." I laughed.

"I know, like we were that irresponsible. Well I was, but you weren't. You never were."

My heart started to hurt a little thinking about this. What could have been? What if Edward had come to Boulder with me, or vice versa? How would we have ended up?

"You know me and you, we never fought. Not once the whole time we were together, Bella. I mean we argued. But I never got mad at you."

I smiled. That wasn't true at all.

"You did so Edward! We argued constantly! You were so mad at me when I decided to go to work at Newton's store. You thought I wouldn't spend enough time with you." I wasn't sure if this is the time I should remind him of his infidelity.

"Oh yeah."

"Is that when you started screwing Rose and Alice?"

Silence.

"Sorry about that." He said after about 30 seconds of silence.

"Why did you Edward? You claimed you loved me so much. You said that I was a good lover. Why?"

"I was young and stupid Bella. I would never do that now."

"Really?" Am I that big of a moron?

"Bella I swear to you I would never cheat on you now. I know I messed up with you back then..."

I had to cut him off.

"Edward I didn't even know you cheated on me in high school!"

"I know, fucking Jasper! It was his stupid girlfriend."

"Alice was messed up on drugs." Mr. Mustachio jumped on my lap and began kneading on my sweat pants.

"God what else did Jasper tell you? Did he tell you just his dirty little secrets or all of ours?"

"Edward are you seriously mad at Jasper for telling me about that stuff?"

"Yes, I am. If nothing else I should have been able to tell you!" He yelled.

I smiled. "But you wouldn't have told me. Would you? You would have never told me that you slept with my two so called best friends. Right now you are acting like you want to get back together with me! Say we get married and have a couple kids! Would you have told me? No! Come on Edward!"

"Fuck Bella! I am sorry! I fucked up what do you want from me?"

"Nothing Edward. I just wanted the truth. I was a stupid little girl in love with you."

"I was in love with you too Bella! Fuck, I never stopped Baby!"

"How could you love me? I am not trying to be mean. But Edward, I just don't understand, you know. I realize we were young, but I never cheated on you."

"You had a thing for Jasper." _No shit Sherlock._

"Yeah I had a crush on him, I thought he was cute. I never judged you for going to see strippers!"

Silence.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" He sounded pissed.

"Never mind. Listen I gotta go." I said slightly disgusted.

"Bella, wait. I don't know how to make it up to you. I don't know how that made you feel." I could tell he was running his hand through his hair again. "I fuckin' blew it."

"Blew what?"

"Trying to get you back." He said quietly.

Now it was my turn to be quiet.

Silence.

"Edward you can't be serious?"

"I know it's a lot to ask, Bella. But just think about giving me another chance. We were perfect together. Remember?"

"Um, Edward?" I was stunned by his request.

"Don't say anything yet, okay. Just think about it. Think about our first date." _I already had_. "Think about the first time we made love, Bella. Think about prom. Remember the times I took you to my parent's cabin. Just think about you and me. Don't think about any of the other ones." _I knew he __meant our friends. _"Baby, just think about us and what we could be together."

I wanted to smack him upside the head an hour ago. Now I wanted to kiss him. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Bella? Please." He sounded desperate.

"Okay Edward. I 'll think about you and me."

"Thank you, baby. Someday, you and me, Bella. Someday."

"Goodbye."

"Bye, Bella. Thank you."

I didn't know if I could speak anymore. I snapped my cell phone shut and looked at it. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I yelled. Scaring Mr. Mustachio from his perch on my lap.

After I calmed down from my conversation with my former high school sweetheart. I decided to finish my homework and eat something.

I hadn't thought about a lot of the things Edward had brought up in a long time. I really had been broken hearted when he broke up with me.

I went to bed trying to think about anything that didn't pertain to my past. But I knew my stupid ass well enough to know that since I was thinking about it today and talking about until I was sick to my stomach, thank you Victoria and Edward, I would be dreaming about it too.

"So get ready to be freaked out Mr. Mustachio. I will be chatting tonight in my sleep." He turned his face toward me and squinted. "I am not changing your name you little shit! Jasper is not going to be your daddy. You will never have a daddy! Mommy is a very bad girl and she will never have a man longer than a couple of weeks for you. I'm sorry it's the cheap store brand cat food forever, my furry little guy." I scratched his head and began to purr.

I let my mind go back to when I was young and incredibly stupid. My life was easier then. I drifted off to sleep remembering Edward and I on our second date that lasted two days and three nights.

* * *

After the movies, and my first date with Edward. I was hardly separated from either Rosalie and Alice, or Edward. We were constantly together, either at school or studying.

To my surprise Edward wasn't just a pretty face or a womanizer. He was actually incredibly smart. He wanted to go to medical school like his father and become a surgeon. He was excited about the fact that I wanted to become a doctor as well, I just hadn't decided on an area.

Edward, Jasper and Emmett were all football players and were at practice every afternoon. Rosalie was a cheerleader, Alice and I went to her practice every morning, just like three of us attended the guy's practice ever afternoon. When Rosalie and Alice asked me if I wanted to go with them and the guys to Edward's parent's cabin after the game on Friday, I was happy. I had never been so close to people before. I had never had close friends before.

I told my dad I was going to be at Alice's for the weekend. He sweetly bought my story and told me to have fun. Since he was raising me alone he had seen me go through years without any kind of companionship and would happily remain ignorant as long as I didn't end up pregnant or dead. He was a great dad.

Alice and I waited patiently outside of the field house after Friday night's game by Emmett's Jeep. The plan was we would all meet up after the game so the guys could see us, and get the lists of everything that was needed for the cabin. We were buying the groceries and they had gotten the liquor, but still needed to get it from the hiding place.

Rosalie had left right after the game saying she needed to get supplies, which I figured she meant she was getting the groceries. So needless to say I was completely confused when she showed back up at the school parking lot driving her mom's SUV without any food.

Her and Alice both giggled as I asked what she got.

The guys came out of the locker room exits about an hour after the game ended.

Emmett and Jasper were gifted with their adoring girlfriends jumping into their arms.

Rosalie and Emmett were so excited to see one another I thought they were going to swallow each other whole. Alice squealed like a child when she saw Jasper. And me well I stood there against Emmett's Jeep like a deer in the headlights looking at Edward as he stalked up to me like I was a baby Gazelle separated from the herd. I couldn't move. When he was directly in front of me and leaned in to kiss me with urgency, I felt my toes curl and my stomach do back flips.

After all the decisions were made as to who was riding with who and what we, the gatherers were supposed to buy, we were on our way. Girls with girls and guys with alcohol. It seemed simple enough.

The grocery store was our first stop. Rosalie and Alice were throwing items into the cart haphazardly and finally I got up the nerve to actually ask some questions.

"Um, what did you get earlier if it wasn't food? You said it was a necessity." I asked Rosalie. She and Alice looked at me like I had grown an extra head and it had funny shaped eyes.

"I got pot, Bella." She said slowly.

"You really are the most innocent creature on the planet aren't you?" Alice started laughing. "Fuck I want to be that innocent again."

"You were never this innocent Alice. Not even when you were a baby." Rosalie countered. She put her arm around me. "Are you going to be okay Bella? You know why Edward wanted to go up to the cabin right?"

"I guess."

"Are you sure you want to go?" She asked with concerned eyes.

"Yes."

She glared in my eyes. "I don't believe you."

"I know he wants to have sex with me." Alice and Rosalie both turned to look at me.

"And you're okay with this?" Alice asked.

I shrugged.

I actually did want to do this. I liked Edward, a lot. I realized we hadn't been together for very long. But I had also always felt off. Like there was something wrong with me when it came to my body. I always felt like I was on fire and constantly fantasizing about the opposite sex. I was fairly familiar with my own body and knew exactly what I wanted from Edward.

He was gorgeous and he wanted me too. What was the mystery?

As we made our way out of the grocery store and started North on the interstate.

"I swear to God! Bella if you are even the slightest bit uneasy about this I will turn the car around now!" Rosalie announced out of no where.

"I want to! I swear." I said soundly.

"He isn't coercing you or anything? Because the boy is a manwhore!" She said and Alice nodded in complete agreement.

"No. I want to be with him." I said. "I've been doing your exercises Alice."

This made Rosalie squeal and swerve off the road laughing.

"I don't know why you think that is so funny Rosie! She's a virgin! Don't you remember how bad that hurt?"

"So it won't hurt?"

"Oh no, it'll still hurt. "But you won't be in as much pain tomorrow." Alice said as if she were explaining a nice recipe.

I swallowed hard. They noticed the fear on my face.

"Bella, all you have to do is tell him what you want. Edward isn't a bad guy. He really likes you too." Rosalie explained.

I really wanted to change the subject at this point. Luckily Rosalie got lost. Twice.

When we finally arrived at the cabin it was close to ten.

I couldn't really make out the house although I wasn't sure that it was a cabin in reality just by the shear size. This was a rustic looking mansion in the middle of nowhere. There was one light on inside coming from a large bay window that was covered by a beautiful porch.

I must have gasped. Alice and Rosalie both looked back at me and laughed.

Although I had been to Edward's house which was huge, I had expected an actual cabin. Who needed two huge houses within the same state? Rich people and world respected surgeons. Thats who. Little girls being raised on a civil servants salary where completely out of their league here.

Emmett ran out of the house and started yelling at Rosalie about how worried they all were.

"How the hell does it take an hour and half to get out here?" Emmet scolded.

"I got lost, and Alice was completely use less." Rosalie tried to explain what had happened. Alice was starting to take offense so I decided to stay clear.

I went to get my back pack out of Rosalie's vehicle and grabbed a couple bags of groceries for our weekend.

When I turned around to start toward the house I saw Edward and Jasper standing on the porch looking at the fight. Jasper was leaning against the house with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked angry. Edward was slightly ahead of him leaning his body into the porch support bars and looking intently. As I got closer I was stopped in my tracks when I saw that both of them were staring at me.

"W..what?" I stuttered as I looked up at Edward.

"Nothing, we were just worried." Edward said his mouth finally breaking into a smile. He grabbed the two grocery bags I was carrying and my back pack off my arm.

"Thanks." I said with a small smile. He motioned with his head for me to follow him into the house. To stop from making myself nervous I studied my feet and walked behind him. I didn't dare look anywhere else.

Inside the "cabin" I was even more dumbfounded. Not only was this place huge. It was stocked with classic and modern furniture. "Only rich people." I whispered under my breath as I looked around.

The front room, dining room and kitchen all ran together one right after another. There was a large wrap around couch in front of a huge plasma television that was attached to the wall. The dining room had a table and buffet that looked like they were antiques from the Gold Room of the Czar's in St. Petersburg.

The kitchen was a chef's wet dream. With a huge gas stove and a built in grill and smoke hood. The refrigerator was the size that only someone who threw huge parties would need. All in stainless steel. Every one of the colors through out this house was white and hues of grays, blues, yellows, and creams. This place was gorgeous!

I must have been lost in my thoughts because I hadn't heard Edward come up behind me. His large strong arms snaked their way around my waist and chest and his breath was against my ear, "would you like a tour?"

"Okay." I turned and looked up at his beautiful face. His green eyes glittering.

He grabbed my left hand with his right and led me to the stair case. I hadn't realized until we reached the top step he was carrying my back pack on his left shoulder.

He pointed to the first room on the landing to the left."This is my room. Jasper and Alice will be in there." I peeked in and saw a room that most definitely shouldn't belong to a teenage boy. It looked more like a hotel room. A huge really well decorated hotel room with a deep mahogany bed. The colors in the room were that of an ocean. Dark blues and grays.

Up on the right was another bedroom, this one also looked like a nicely decorated hotel room only in yellows and reds. "This is the guest room where Em and Rosie will be."

"Where is the bathroom?" I didn't have to use one I was just curious. He understood the question.

"Every bedroom has it's own." He pushed open the last door at the end of the hall to a huge room that was about the same size as my father's entire lower level. The walls were painted a light brown and everything was decorated in light greens and browns. The bed was a solid oak sleigh bed with two dressers that matched it.

"This is my parent's room, when they come. This is where you and I will be staying this weekend." A tremor went through my body as he said that. I turned to look at him.

He knew I was scared. A poker face was not something I had ever learned to use.

"Is that okay?" Edward asked. At least he was asking me.

"Yeah, it's okay. Um, your house is beautiful." I nodded.

He seemed amused by my response. "It's not mine. But I'm glad you like it." He walked over to the dresser closest to the double doors that led into the bathroom and set my back pack on it. Then he turned to look at me, "I won't rush you into anything Bella."

I looked away from his gaze and bit my lip. I was so nervous I couldn't form words. Edward had walked up to me and put his hand under my chin bringing my face up to look at him, "I promise."

"Thanks." I said quietly and he nodded. He started running his fingers through my hair.

Edward then captured my lips with his and he gently ran his tongue along my bottom lip. I opened my mouth slightly in response. As our kiss became more intense, I brought my arms up around his neck pulling myself up while he wrapped his arms around my waist bringing me flush with his body.

"Edward put Bella's clothes back on and get your asses down here so we can play poker or fucking quarters or something!" Emmett bellowed from downstairs.

Edward and I laughed and went back downstairs where we were met with everyone already drinking and rolling joints.

I stood at the kitchen counter watching everyone.

"Bella is this your first time trying pot?" Jasper asked me. He lit an end of the hand rolled cigarette and took a deep drag.

I smiled at him and nodded. Edward put his arm around my waist and as he sat down on a stool at the kitchen counter while at the same time pulling me closer to him. It felt more like he was pulling me away from something, specifically from Jasper.

Jasper offered me his joint anyway. I leaned forward to get it and took a drag. I immediately started coughing which led everyone to start laughing at me. I hadn't realized that everyone was watching me while I did this.

Edward took the joint from me and took a drag for himself and then handed it back to Jasper. Their eyes locked and something was said between the two that I did not understand. But Jasper nodded as if understood what Edward had said or asked of him.

Alice ran upstairs.

The guys started playing quarters and when Alice came back down she grabbed me by the hand to talk with her and Rosalie at the couch. I started to walk away from Edward when he grabbed me back and kissed me sweetly. I couldn't help but smile at him.

As I started to walk with Alice into the living room I heard Emmet say in a gruff voice, "Jesus, enough you guys!" I wasn't sure what that meant at all.

"Alright, how are you?" Rosalie said as I sat down.

"Well I'm drunk and I guess I am high." I started to giggle. The both joined in.

"Me and Alice got you some stuff. We weren't sure if you were on the pill or anything." Rosalie whispered toward me.

"I am though." I said a little louder than intended.

"Oh good. But we still got you guys condoms and spermicide just in case. What else?" Rosalie said looking at Alice with bloodshot eyes.

"I got her lube and Motrin too." Alice made sure the guys weren't listening, "I put it all inside your back pack. Okay?"

I looked at them completely shocked. "When did you get that stuff? When you got the pot?"

"Yeah! We can't let you get knocked up! Or get one of the possible diseases that his little skank's from before might have! Also, I would make a terrible babysitter and so would this one." She motioned towards Alice.

"I hate kids." Alice said with a straight face.

I couldn't help but laugh at them. "You think we're being funny Bella? But we gotta take care of you! It's not like those dumb asses over there would ever do it!" Rosalie said motioning towards the guys who were wrapping up their game and their intense conversation..

I was actually really touched by Alice and Rosie's protectiveness over me.

Edward came over to sit with me on the couch as Alice and Rosalie went to sit with their boyfriends.

He brought me up on his lap and started kissing me gently.

Both of us started to get a little more into it, and his pressure became more aggressive and wanting. I wasn't complaining.

My brain shut down as I felt his hands start to caress over my legs and my back. His hands started to work under my shirt slightly resting on some exposed skin. My brain was betraying any rational thought and my heart rate was increasing. With each slight move of Edward 's hands or even his fingers it sent a new sensation up my spine and causing me to have goosebumps cover my body.

"I wanna take you upstairs, Bella." Edward whispered in my ear, his mouth went immediately to the hollow below my ear sending a new and even more drastic tremor through my body.

Edward stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes, demanding an answer to his request. I nodded.

He wasted no time in getting up from the couch and pulling me along with him to the steps. I wasn't sure I wanted to see anything except for Edward in that moment so that is what I did. He tightened his grip on my hand the closer we got to the room at the end of the hall and once we were there, I was alone in the middle of the room.

I spun around to see Edward leaning against the door breathing hard.

I heard the sound of metal being slipped into place with the lock of the door. Edward stood there looking at me for several more seconds watching me with hooded eyes.

He looked hungry. He then pushed himself off the door and stalked directly in front of me. My legs felt like completely Jello and wouldn't move at all.

His hands and his mouth were suddenly on me moving sinuously over my skin and making me internally beg for more. I moaned out loud making him stop his movement and look into my eyes with as much want and need as I felt in that moment.

He started backing me up slowly. All I could see was Edward and my brain had no idea where I was going or where I had been inside this room.

Once my knees hit the bed Edward slowly began pushing me down on it. With one of his strong arms behind me supporting my waist and the other tangling itself in my long brown hair.

The blankets had been pulled down and I was lying on white sheets sideways on his parent's bed.

He pushed himself up and looked in my eyes as if he was worried about something.

"Baby are you sure you want to do this. I can pull back now." Edward said in a pained voice.

"No, I want this Edward. I really do." I started to unbutton my shirt with fumbling fingers. His large hands were on top of mine in no time.

"Let me do this." He sounded more sure and less strained.

Edward finished unbuttoning my shirt in no time, and pushing it off my shoulders. He kissed along my clavicle bone. He started down my chest and began kissing over my bra covered breasts. I arched my back to push myself closer to him in response.

"God Bella, you are so beautiful." Edward said in a husky voice.

My bra cups started slowly to be pulled down exposing the upper side and nipple of my breasts. Edward's face went directly to my right breast and he attached himself with force. Moving back and forth between the breasts, at some point roughly squeezing my breasts together and swirling the tip of his tongue making my nipples painfully erect.

I started to pull at his t-shirt to bring it up over his head. He pushed up off me and settled on his knees, pulling the t-shirt off with one hand and settling the other on the button fly of his jeans.

Our eyes met and he licked his lips. I pushed my body up to get my bra off the rest of the way, making him grin in response. I pulled my arms out of my blouse and bra and finally discarded both off the bed with a toss.

Edward had started to unbutton his jeans slowly, pushing them over his hips exposing most of his amazing body to me in nothing but a dark colored pair of boxer briefs. He left his underwear on and went to working on my jeans. He pulled them down my legs and then came back up to my panties. He licked along the elastic waist of my panties, making me shudder. Before I was aware he had gone all the way along the line the were pulled down my legs and discarded like the rest of my clothes.

Edward pulled himself up and looked down at my body taking me in from my legs up to my eyes, slowly. I had never been so exposed in my entire life and I was on fire for him.

He got off the bed and went to his bag that was on the other dresser.

"Um, I have some." I said pointing to my bag.

"Yeah?" He smiled coyly as he walked back over to the bed. He slipped off his underwear and I heard the condom wrapper rip open. I watched as he put it on himself fascinated and terrified at the same time.

He looked up and my face again and smiled sweetly. "You okay, baby?" He came over and stood at my feet looking at my naked form.

"Yes." I whispered in response.

He climbed back onto the king size bed, and started kissing up my leg, lifting it higher the further he came upon the bed. He licked behind my knees making my body shake. Then he laid down completely in between my legs and nipping, licking, and kissing along both of my inner thighs. I tensed up and started to pull him back up my body. He didn't fight me and came up to lay on top of me utilizing his elbows as leverage.

"What's the matter Baby?" He asked and then kissed me deeply.

"Um, I just...you don't have..." I stuttered like a fool and motioned down with my eyes and arms.

Realization dawned in his eyes and he smirked.

"Bella, let me try it on you and if you don't like it I'll stop. But Baby, I know you're gonna love it." Edward winked at me.

"But..." He kissed my lips stopping me from anymore complaining and started working his way back down my body.

Edward rested again at my sex and went directly to my clit with his tongue. Swirling it and lightly biting it. I was not prepared for the sensation that was beginning to rock my body, and when he slowly pushed a finger inside of me curling ever so slightly. Once he found what he was looking for his ministrations increased two fold sending me over and edge I didn't even know existed making me see color explode inside of my head.

He was up at my head with his cock at my entrance without any hesitation he started to push himself into me slowly. I started to pull away out of instinct. This caused Edward to put a hand down on me holding me still. "It's okay baby, just relax." He whispered into my ear as he started to push in deeper. He reached my barrier and pushed directly through making me gasp. "Shh, baby. Relax. Start moving with me when you can."

After about a minute the pain wasn't as intense and I was able to start focusing more on his strokes inside of me. Although he never pulled out completely he seemed to go deeper with each pass.

I moved my legs so they were slightly bent and Edward grabbed them pushing them over his hips in one sure move. This new position made it easier for me to move with him like he had suggested.

Edward's movements started to get a little more erratic and faster. He brought his right hand in between us and used his thumb on my clit. This made me come undone in that moment.

"God! Cum with me Bella!" He yelled out arching his back away from me, and I did.

We laid there for a few minutes still wrapped up in each other and Edward rolled off of me, pulling me into his chest. He kissed the top of my head. "Fuck! That was amazing. I didn't hurt you too much did I Baby?"

"I think I'm okay." I smiled up at him.

'Good! Damn." He shook his head and leaned in to kiss me again. He got up taking off the condom and discarding it in the trash can in the bathroom. I got up onto slightly shaky legs to go into the bathroom after him.

I closed the door behind me realizing he was putting on his underwear and I was still completely naked. I also felt the sting in between my legs that I needed to look at immediately. I knew I bled, but I didn't know how much.

There was a knock on the door. "Bella, are you okay, did you bleed?"

I don't know why I was mortified it was a perfectly normal thing to happen to a girl who lost her virginity.

"A little." I answered in a small voice.

"Yeah. Baby, I got your back pack and one of my t-shirts if you wanna wear it."

"Okay." I opened the door to peek around it. He was standing in a pair of sleep pants that still showed off his amazing torso. I felt myself salivate. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled sweetly.

I cleaned myself up a little in the bathroom and I could hear the other couples in the other bedrooms were doing exactly what we had just done. Especially the one directly next to this bathroom. Rosalie and Emmett sounded like they were killing each other.

I came out of the bathroom just as Edward was coming back into the bedroom with two glasses of water.

'Here, thought you might be thirsty." He handed me on of the glasses and I took a sip.

"Thank you." I wasn't sure how much longer we would be together now that I had slept with him. I was immediately thinking of the end just as this began.

"You look good in my shirt."

I blushed and he chuckled.

"Let's go to sleep okay." He said. As we made our way back over to the bed I saw a smudge of blood on the sheets.

"Oh God Edward, I am so sorry!" I said pointing towards the sheet.

"What that? Don't worry about it, Baby. I'll take care of that." he seemed surprised by my behavior.

"Bella I know I have a reputation of being a complete dick. I am actually not. I don't want you thinking bad things after this. We are going to be up here for two more days. We aren't going back to Forks until Sunday night. Okay?" I nodded in understanding.

"You need to get used to the fact that you are mine. My girlfriend. That's what I want from you. So stop worrying about crazy shit like that. I don't care about some sheets. I feel like shit that I had to hurt you to get this close to you." He leaned back on the headboard and brought me to his chest. He kissed the top of my head and smelled my hair. "But that's behind us. You are mine, now. Right?"

"Yes. All yours." I hugged myself closer to his chest. He did the same pulling me closer. He gently played with my hair and lightly rubbed my back, and I made inconsequential designs on his chest while we talked.

We finally fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

But sometime during the night, Edward woke me up to re-introduce me to this new life. He was as gentle and attentive as before maybe more so. This time I didn't worry about my bodies reactions, he seemed to love every inch of me and I him. It was an amazing night.

I fell in love with Edward Cullen that night.

When Edward and I came downstairs I was fully aware that although everyone in the house had had sex the night before as well, the fact that I had also was on everyone's face with knowing grins.

Everyone grinned except Jasper. Who looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

* * *

I woke up to the hideous sounds of my alarm clock that was screaming at me like a woman being murdered next to my head. "Good night sweet Gloria! Mr. Mustachio!" I yelled at my cat because he had found his way back to encircling my skull while I slept since Jasper had left.

I got up and heard the beeping of my cell phone announcing that I had messages.

Two text messages.

I hit the green button to find the two men that I actually loved sending me these texts.

_**EC read-** Hey Baby. Did you think about me? I thought about you. Please call._

_**JH read-** Bella please stop avoiding me. I can't stop thinking about you. Please call._

"Oh fuck me!" I yelled in the air. "This is bullshit!"

I threw my phone on my couch and went into the bathroom to shower so I could start my day.

Mr. Mustachio followed me into the shower and just let the soap and water hit him as he stared at the wall.

"This is crap Mr. Mustachio! Tomorrow night I am supposed to meet a nice guy. Did you know that? No? Well I am, and I promise you mommy will not sleep with him without knowing him for at least a little while. Okay? Mommy's slutty ways are behind her. Do you believe me?"

The cat said nothing. I was doomed.

**AN- Okay gals and gals (I am pretty sure there is no guys reading my story if I am wrong please let me know). That was a pain in the ass...not because of the story but because of my life. This chapter was done and ready for beta-ing by my woman Mynxi yesterday, except I am a fuckmoron and deleted the wrong thing and saved some bullshit! So this is a re-write. It's actually a page and half longer then the first one, so I hope it was okay. I tried to keep the nuances, but the first draft was funnier...at least when the girls were talking at the store it was. What I am trying to shove down your pretty little throats again is that yes Rose and Alice were assholes, they aren't completely bad. _NOBODY IS! _At least that is my opinion. Of course I am getting assfucked hard, without lube or hugs lately by so called friends and my opinion is changing just a tad. Don't know if that is going to affect the story or not....just sayin. =D**

**_For my job as pimp_....MYNXI, my soul mate, has written a wonderful story called Saving Bella (). This is very powerful and touching. She is a mad woman typing and posting at all hours! I am so proud of her! It's a Jasper and Bella story...so you know my ass is lovin it even harder!**

**.net/s/5560977/1/**

**Cindy is my super buddy and a superbly wonderful writer and her story A New Divide is so fuckhawt I almost come every time I see her name now! =D She's getting reviewed up the ass but still she kicks the ass of everyone I have ever met with her!**

**.com/group/adultahautwilightfanfiction/forum/topics/a-new-divide-by-cindy**

**Although clpsuperstar also doesn't need the love (she is the bestest evah!)her story is just the funniest ever so I will tell you to read Send Me an Angel! Review it too cuz I want her to have so many it makes the site explode!**

**.com/group/adultahautwilightfanfiction/forum/topics/send-me-an-angel-closed**

**or**

**.net/s/5385725/1/**

**ImNotScaredofYou, has a touching story that breaks my damn heart called Her Last Days. _Dang you Holly!_**

**_.com/group/twilightsagafanfiction/forum/topics/her-last-days-closed_**

_**Jessica, one of my favorite tough ass bitches of all time! (psst..she's my bodyguard) Jessica's story The Ties That Binds..!!!**_

**_.com/group/twilightsagafanfiction/forum/topics/the-ties-that-bind_**

_**Oh yeah a little shout out to "Butch in Texas" from kelleygirl!! ; )**_

_**Hey Marybell my Babydoll! No more of that nasty tequila, try some hard whiskey bb! O..o or a Cosmo, I like tasty vodka better anyway! =P**_

**Who loves you guys like I do? So press the little button and review! I need it to satiate myself...**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer- see the last bunch of chapters because I am tired of repeating myself!

Wanted Chapter 8

BPOV

I sat in my Physiology class still thinking about the dream I had last night. The dream had started out as a fucked up memory and ended on happy note. I had woken up before the alarm by the sounds of my own screams of ecstasy.

I had scared the damn cat so bad he hissed at me when I went to get my coffee in the kitchen.

"Shut up. You're just jealous that I can still do it and you're snipped." I told Mr. Mustachio.

This was the most amazing sex dream I had ever had. An actual sexual experience I had but with a completely different person in my bed at least it ended up that way.

The real thing happened with Edward. After our senior prom.

Right before the asshole broke up with me at Jessica's party.

* * *

Rosalie and Alice had planned everything to a tee; none of us even clashed color wise. They were obsessed with appearances. I just went along for the ride.

The three of us were in hues of pink, dusty rose, and red. The guys had it easy because all they had to find was the exact right colors of cummerbunds and ties to go along with us.

Rosalie had it the easiest since she was wearing red. Edward had wanted me to wear blue which I was perfectly fine with except he and Alice actually went toe to toe about my dress and amazingly it was Edward who lost the battle of the taffeta. That may have been the weirdest fight I've ever seen.

So I was wearing pink.

"Why do you let him dictate everything Bella?" Alice asked me while we were at the seamstress for our final fitting.

"I don't let him do that." I said insulted.

"God yes you do! He decides everything! What you wear, what you eat. The boy acts like you're his personal prisoner and he's the warden!" Alice said in disgust.

I looked over at Rosalie to see if she was going to defend me, and instead she turned away and looked at the ground looking for non existing item there, and like she actually agreed with Alice.

"He is not!"

"Alright fine he isn't. But you are." Alice said. "He walks all over you constantly."

_They all did._

Except Jasper.

"Do you even like eggs Bella? I heard your dad say you hate them. And because Edward eats them, you do." Rosalie offered.

I looked at Rosalie and Alice like they had just punched me in the gut. I was shocked.

"Oh no! Bella I'm so sorry. I just hate the way he treats you like this little porcelain doll that only he can dust or something." Rosalie said.

Alice wasn't quite so upset about the analogy, offering this last little nugget of wisdom.

"He's a dick, and he treats you like a five year old."

As usual I didn't argue.

I just took what they said and put it in my vault for safe keeping.

I loved Edward. He loved me.

I never argued with any of them, except Jasper. He seemed to love to rile me up and I him.

Later that night when we all went out for pizza to plan out the prom evening that was taking place in just a few short days.

"Hey Bella are you going to eat that pizza or just continue to play with it." Jasper asked me with grin on his face.

He was sitting at the opposite end of the table from me. our friends separating us and ignoring us. At least I thought they were.

"Why Jasper? Are you that hungry that one whole pizza all to yourself isn't enough?"

_Alice and Rosalie continued to talk about the prom and who would win king and queen._

"Funny, little girl. I don't play with my food."

_Edward was talking about college football teams with Emmett._

"Hey Jasper, you don't really know how to play right, is that why you only have the one position?" Jasper was Running back.

_We both laughed._

Suddenly Edward was at my ear with warm soothing breath but an intimidating tone. "Why do you care how many positions Jasper plays?"

I was instantly nervous by his words and their meaning.

No one else seemed to notice or care about Jasper and my exchange except Edward.

Edward grabbed my hand which I had casually placed on my thigh and squeezed it tightly. I had never been physically scared of Edward until I looked into his eyes at that moment.

He was furious with me.

"I didn't mean anything by it Edward." I whispered trying to placate him.

It wasn't a lie.

I was having fun with one of our friends.

That had never been a problem before. Yes it had. I just always over looked it.

Although Emmett was now engaged with Jasper in a conversation, Jasper was still staring at me with worried eyes but nodding at something Emmett was saying.

Alice and Rosalie never deviated from their conversation.

I stayed still for a few more minutes and then excused myself for the bathroom. It felt like my stomach had twisted in on itself and was going to strangle my other internal organs.

When I got to the ladies room I was hoping for a second to calm myself down before I had to go back out there. But that hope was lost when Rosalie and Alice ended up following me. Amazingly the two were unaware of the innocent exchange between Jasper and I, but they knew Edward had said something to upset me.

"What happened? What did he say to you?" Rosalie came in and went directly for me, wrapping her arms around me to hug me.

"Nothing. I'm okay." I said with a shaky voice.

Alice looked at me skeptically.

"He looked so pissed and you were white as a ghost when you left the table." Rosalie pulled back and petted my hair in a concerned way.

"Maybe he's just weirded out because of the college thing." I said trying to force a smile.

Edward and I were not going to the same school. He wasn't accepted at CU and I wasn't accepted at Penn. We had both been accepted at Udub and Michigan, but neither of us wanted to go to those schools.

So we both went with our first choices.

Effectively not picking our relationship.

We went back into the restaurant and I kept my mouth shut and eyes down.

Edward pulled up in front of my house without speaking to me the whole way home. I really didn't understand why he was so angry with me. But I was too afraid to ask.

When we got to my house, I asked him if he was going to come back over later.

It was how we spent our nights together. He was always able to spend the night elsewhere, while my father would have had a heart attack, so we waited for my father to go to sleep and Edward would climb through my bedroom window after he conveniently scaled the Oak tree outside my window.

Edward shook his head no.

"Will you call me tomorrow?"

"Of course I will Bella!" He snapped.

I flinched at his harshness and finally found that I had been pushed too far. I got out of his car quickly and slammed his car door and ran for my door with him hot on my heals.

"What the hell Bella?" Edward yelled at me. The driver's side door of his car was still open and his car still running.

I whipped around. "You don't get to talk to me that way Edward. I didn't do anything wrong!" I screamed at him. Then I stalked up to him where he had stopped about 15 feet behind me.

"You need to stay away from Jasper!"

"You act like I was trying to fuck Jasper or something!" Edward flinched at my words and took another step back.

He ran a hand though his hair like he always did when he got frustrated.

"I know! I'm sorry I acted like an asshole! You shouldn't...."

"Don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do I'm not your toy or your child!" I screamed at him. I never thought I would see myself the way Rosalie and Alice had described me. But they were right. Edward controlled everything and I was sick of it finally.

"I didn't mean it like that! It was Jasper he is being really weird lately. I don't want you around him, alone, anymore." Edward's eyes were shifting from side to side making me more nervous.

"We weren't alone Edward! He was halfway across the damn restaurant from me with you and Alice in between!"

My father had apparently had enough of the fight on his front lawn and came out to end it.

"Alright, Edward maybe you should just go home now. Bella I want you in the house." My father said with his calming voice.

"I'm so sorry Chief Swan. Bella and I had a disagreement."

"Yeah, no kidding. Go home Edward." My dad said with finality.

Edward turned and sulked back to his car.

My father turned to me. "What happened?"

I started to cry as I watched Edward's car peel away from the curb. "Nothing!" I sobbed into my father's chest.

"Nothing, huh?" I felt his chuckle as I leaned into him. "Come on sweetie lets get in the house before the damn nosy neighbors come out."

I played the drama queen until Saturday, refusing to answer his phone calls or come to the door when he came by. Because I still really wanted to go to prom, but I, along with Rosalie and Alice, felt Edward needed to be appropriately punished for his bad behavior.

Around ten in the morning I finally decided to answer the phone when I saw Edward's name on the caller I.D.

"Hello." I said nonchalantly.

"Hey baby. Are you still pissed at me?" He sounded appropriately sad.

"No. You were a jerk but I'm over it now."

"I'm sorry I acted like that. It wasn't you I was mad at. It was Jasper." Edward said.

"Are you over it now?"

He chuckled. "Yes. I am. Are we still going to prom?"

"Well yeah, Alice took all that time to get everyone in the perfect color scheme." I tried to joke with him.

"I still wish I could have gotten you in blue." Edward was still sulking.

I smiled knowing that I was wearing a blue corset and matching panties under my dress for him.

Five hours later I ended up at Rosalie's house to get ready.

We were supposed to be at my house since my house was the closest to the Elk's Lodge where the prom was taking place. But my father had blown out the electrical fuses so we couldn't get our hair done and Alice's house was out since her mother was apparently having a nervous breakdown over her father leaving them.

So we went to Rosalie's.

Jasper's Mustang was still in the driveway when I pulled up in my Chevy. I didn't know if that meant he was still here or if was already with Emmett and Edward with the limo.

I got to the door after grabbing all of my stuff and pounded on it before I dropped everything.

Jasper opened the door and smiled brightly at me. I couldn't help but return the smile.

Jasper looked like sunshine especially when he smiled. He was absolutely gorgeous.

"Hey there beautiful! Here let me help you." He leaned down to grab my dress bag and backpack. "Come on in!"

"Thanks, Jasper. Is Rosalie here?"

"Ah, no. She just left to get Alice her car wouldn't start. I gotta look at it tomorrow. I gotta be gone before Alice gets here" He smiled again only this time nervously.

"It's stupid, huh? It's not like you're seeing the bride before the wedding or something." I said joking with him.

He licked his lips and smiled. He actually made a quick look over me. From my eyes to my legs, and up again.

I couldn't help myself and blushed. We stared at each other in silence for a few minutes.

Although Edward owned the entire town with his looks and personality. Jasper was devastatingly handsome and rugged looking on his own. And he was considered a bit of an enigma. His personality was quiet but sweet, where Edward was charming.

They were alike and yet totally different.

I had to dial it back fast. Whenever I was with Jasper my heart would take double beats. God, I sometimes actually forgot to breath. Jasper made me weak. He always had. Just hearing the sound of his voice made my resolve crumble.

Jasper broke the silence by announcing he had to get over to Edward's. He raced out of the house at a staggering speed. I looked at the door and actually pouted.

The guys came to pick us up Rosalie's at 7:00 in the limo for us to get pictures done and to go to dinner.

After dinner we went to the dance where Rosalie and Emmett were crowned prom king and queen. After that the guys had the limo drop us Emmett's house where we all piled in his Jeep to head up to the cabin.

After the first weekend we all started leaving clothes there in Edward's room. Although his parents were fully aware of our weekends there they didn't need it shoved in their faces.

Once we arrived at the cabin we all did a few shots and then went to our respective bedrooms. Edward and I hadn't been together in any capacity since out fight, and since the first time we met we had rarely been apart at all.

I was trying to be seductive, but Edward still had the market cornered. Standing in the light of the doorway leading from the bathroom he was removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

The look in his eyes was complete hunger.

I had to have him unzip my dress which he did happily, and kissed my neck across my back and to the other side as he did it.

I pushed the dress down so he could see the blue corset I picked out for tonight.

It pushed my breasts up and barely covered my nipples, when he saw it his eyes almost bugged out of his head.

I bit my lip and suppressed a giggle knowing I had him where I wanted him.

"Fuck Baby! You look so amazing. Leave it on."

I shook my head in confusion. "So you don't want to have sex?"

He smiled. "Oh yeah, just with you wearing it." He walked over to me and immediately started caressing over the fabric and lace. He forcefully turned me around so he could see the back and do the same thing.

His hands went down and felt around my ass and the panties that were the same as the corset only see through in the back.

"Oh man Baby!" Edward was on his knees behind me pressing his face into my ass cheeks pushing me down on the bed.

This was the position he wanted anyway, when my hands caught my body and I was bent at the waist.

I heard him unzip his pants and he pushed the fabric of the panties to the side before pushing into me fully. My back arched and I screamed from the sensation of being completely filled by him.

He started pumping in and out of me at furious pace. His grunts and swearing making it harder for me not to come.

"Let yourself go Bella, come with me Baby!"

Edward sounded amazing when he came.

When I turned around I was face to face with Jasper. I looked at the door and tried to see how he got in.

"Don't worry Angel. It's just you and me." He kissed me deeply and returned it. "Bella you'll be mine forever." He kissed me lightly.

"Oh God! Jasper!" I screamed. Opening my eyes fully satiated and panting from my dreamland orgasm.

"What the hell? I didn't go to prom with Jasper." I announced to no one.

* * *

I was bored. So freakin bored!

Even though I was surrounded by the most fascinating sights I had ever seen.

Drunk people with tons of tattoos and piercings and Mohawks, then on the other side I was surrounded by cheerleader types who forgot to button their shirts all the way.

It was amazing. These two groups belonged far apart.

But I was still bored.

I wanted to get this stupid blind date done and over with. I was going to be a good girl from now on. No more sleeping with multiple guys. It was my new motto.

"When are they supposed to be here?" I asked an already inebriated Victoria, while we waited for her boyfriend, the professor and his cousin, my blind date get to the bar.

"I don't know." She was hammered and dancing all around our little table because she had to pee.

"Just go to the bathroom!" I yelled at her.

"No! I don't want to break the seal!" She snapped back.

Victoria was a crazy ass drunk. She refused to not do shots which she obviously couldn't handle. Then she would flirt with the weirdest looking guys she could find and start fights with chicks who could beat her ass into the ground. It was fun to watch sometimes, but since this place was way out of our element I opted for sobriety to make sure she went home without a visit to the emergency room. Call me crazy.

"Well you are starting to make me uncomfortable you idiot."

"I think whats his face brought a friend with him from Texas." Victoria said out of nowhere and pointed at me.

"Who is whats his face and why should I care if he has friends?" As soon as I said the statement I knew I had made a mistake. Victoria had been teasing me relentlessly about my participation in an orgy for two days straight.

"You know why you should care if he has a friend maybe you'll get some three way action." She slurred and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"Shut up you raving bitch!" I yelled at her while she started laughing at me. "This is so unfair! I hate being the designated driver." I pouted.

"I need another drink!" Victoria squealed and ran away from the table.

I was looking around the bar which was packed with wannabe punk rockers maybe a few real ones and a bunch of dumbass college students like me. We were here to see some ridiculously popular band that made its name at Dartmouth. They were a punk band and supposedly the lead singer was a gorgeous and insane dominate that had a reputation as a sadistic sex fiend.

To be honest I was curious as hell about this shit too. Who wouldn't want to see that kind of crap on stage? Victoria was so excited she even made me and her both black t-shirts with the band's insignia, steel handcuffs and their name, Durty Betty in dripping blood red letters. The t-shirts were too tight and too short but we looked hot as hell in them and our tight hip hugger jeans! Sometimes the girl was an artist.

"Can I get you something cutie?" The waitress with huge breasts and a name tag I could not see due to her amazing rack asked me.

I smiled at her trying to avoid looking at her breasts but instead in her eyes. "No thank you I'm just drinking water."

"Ah, designated driver?" She said. I nodded, "I can get you a soda or an ice tea on the house." She said and I noticed a slight Southern drawl as she spoke which made me pine for a guy a couldn't have anymore.

Now her breasts weren't as fascinating.

"That would be great, a Diet Pepsi, or whatever."

"Sure, doll. Coming right up."

Victoria came running up to the table as the waitress walked away. "They are not going to be here for another fucking half hour!" She glared and screamed at me like it was my fault.

I raised my eyebrows surprised at her.

"Well, then I guess you have time to go be a groupie like you threatened before we got here." I said calmly.

"You want to know why?" She started looking around the bar again as she really wasn't interested in me. I chuckled.

"Why." I asked with mock interest.

"Your date! His friend is coming here tonight because he can't get a hold of his stupid girlfriend or some such shit. So they gotta go pick him up at the hotel."

"Why do I care?" Didn't we just have this conversation? Shit, she was drunker than I thought.

"You got your perverted little wish. Two guys!" She sat down like I was insane for not figuring it out and without even a hint of a smile.

"You are the biggest bitch that has ever graced this planet." I said to her in annoyance. The waitress had set down my soda and smiled at me with sympathy because of my idiot friend then walked away.

"Do you have condoms with you?" Victoria started laughing and snorting.

She laid her head on the table she was laughing so hard.

"I hope you pee in your pants!" I told her and then pulled her long red hair.

"Oh fuck! That is so funny. James is all pissed at Peter because he, Peter, I mean, doesn't want his friend to be sad that the girlfriend is probably fucking around on him. Or some dumb thing!" Victoria looked around and then asked, "do you wanna go down to Kitty's and get some shit?"

Victoria is out of her mind!

"No I do not want to walk down Colfax Avenue and go into a porn shop with this tight ass freakin shirt on, in the freezing cold just so you can buy a dildo!" I snapped.

"I was gonna buy cuffs for me and James tonight, smart ass." She told me like I was stupid.

The music started and Victoria was gone. She had been a closet punk rocker her entire life. The more hard core the happier she was. When I met her I had been so proud that I had Green Day in my CD collection and she literally laughed at me, saying I didn't know shit about real punk. How could they not be real punk? Then she introduced me to some of the most horrendous sounding music I had ever heard. Funny thing is once you hear something enough, you start to like it. It's kind of like being abused. At least that is what I liken it too. So the Sex Pistols, The Damned, The Ramones, and The Misfits became part of my everyday life surprisingly. I really liked Patty Smith and Iggy Pop the best.

After the band finished their third song and I was on my second soda when I saw two very familiar blue eyes. Those eyes were the ones who made me weak. They were attached to the man who could convince me to commit a felony without asking why.

I started to choke on my drink when I was staring at Jasper's bright blue eyes. I looked down at the table until my coughing stopped.

James started pounding on my back. "Hey are you okay Bella?"

"Hey man it is a real mistake to hit somebody on the back when they choke." A huge tattooed man with a green Mohawk told James as he passed by our table.

I couldn't force myself to look at him, again. Why was he here?

"Bella where is Victoria?"

I finally pulled my eyes from the table and looked at James who was standing next to another man, one I had never seen before. This was probably the cousin I had a blind date with tonight, who was actually friends with Jasper! My life is a parade of problems!

Fuck! I have no luck at all!

"She just rushed the stage, you know how she loves this shit." I said refusing to look over in the direction I knew Jasper was at.

"Bella, this is my cousin Peter, and this is his roommate, um, Jasper right?" The two guys obviously looked at each other.

I stuck out my hand and offered it to Peter. "Hi, I am Bella." He smiled. "Pete."

I looked over at Jasper who was no longer the calm cool and collected guy I had always know. Now he looked furious.

"Jasper Hale." He stuck out his hand for me to shake and I took it loosely. He squeezed tight. My eyes flashed to his. At the same time James was dragging a very angry Victoria back to the table.

The booby waitress came back over and got everyone's drink orders. To my surprise the only other person at the table to really stare at the waitress's chest was Victoria.

"For crying out loud! Are those real?" She asked me almost too loud. Then Victoria turned her attention to Jasper. "So you're the friend who can't locate the girlfriend huh?"

"Oh no. I found her." Jasper said never taking his eyes off of me. I was trying to make small talk with my date, which was failing miserably. Apparently Peter was aware that I was "the girlfriend" Jasper was talking about. He told me he showed my picture to Jasper on the flight and he found out about me and him. He thought it was funny as hell. Me and Jasper, not so much.

Jasper had an intensity about him that was remarkable. He seemed to emote everyone's feelings in the room. Tonight it seemed anger was the big one.

"Well good." Victoria said. "Hey James, I gotta pee are you gonna get all crazy again? Do I need to ask your permission you asshole?" She was being very feisty tonight.

"You know Vic, I really don't give a shit what you do in the bathroom but flashing your chest to the band is not going to happen again." James told her with disgust.

"Whatever, that fucking lead singer is so unbelievably gorgeous I can't stand it! Bella! Come on." Victoria yelled at me and I followed her to the women's bathroom. Happy to get away from Jasper's stare.

God I am a wimp!

Victoria was the most amazingly observant person I had ever met, even when she was wasted. She amazed me.

"So what the fuck is going on? That guy won't take his eyes off of you. Is he a stalker or what?"

Victoria asked as she came out of the stall and washed her hands.

"Didn't you hear his name?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"Jason?"

"Jasper." I corrected her.

She looked at me with confusion and then her eyes almost popped out of her head. "Holy shit!"

"I know." I was leaning against the door when I got knocked out of the way by two drunk emo girls pushing their way into the bathroom. They lit a couple joints. Victoria went into a free stall.

One of the girls looked at me, her eyes going wide at the site of my shirt. "Oh fuck those are the coolest shirts. Where did you get them?"

Victoria looked like a proud mother.

"I made them. I am going to be selling some on Ebay so look out for them." Victoria told them as we walked out of the bathroom.

"What am I gonna do?" I asked.

Victoria shrugged and pointed into the bar. I followed her finger and saw him.

Jasper was standing at the end of the hall leaning on one side of the passageway. Victoria and I started walking and I tried to make it past him like the wimp I am and always will be but he caught me and brought me back to him. I slammed into him hard with "hmph" escaping my mouth as he held my arm tight and glared at me.

"What the fuck Bella?" He said quietly into my ear. But the anger was unmistakable.

"I don't know what you're talking about Jasper? I didn't invite you back here." I said bluntly.

"I know about the date with Pete. I don't give a shit about that. Stupid blind date set up. I want to know why you aren't answering my phone calls or getting back to me." He practically spat at me as he spoke. He was seething with anger.

"I told you when you left..." I kept my eyes looking at the ground.

"And I told you to not give up on me." He hissed.

I looked up at him instantly angry. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do Jasper! I am not your girlfriend. I'm just some chick you fucked."

"What is wrong with you?" He loosened his grip on my arm a little, but not his gaze. That was deadly.

"I want you so fuckin bad I can't see straight! I thought you wanted me just as bad." He shook his head. "No scratch that! I know you do Bella."

He wasn't wrong. I wanted him. I wanted him more than food or water. I needed him like the air.

I didn't say anything I just looked at him. He wasn't through yet anyway.

"Why is Edward calling you? Now that I am pissed about." His voice wasn't quite as hard. If anything he sounded hurt.

"He says he wants to get back together with me." I said quietly.

"Are you?"

I shook my head no.

"Then why is he all hopeful?"

I couldn't lie to Jasper. He felt everything. He seemed to know.

"I don't know. Maybe I am leading him on a little"

His eyes squinted.

"You take his phone calls, but you won't take mine." He was definitely hurt. "So what are you doing with me?"

I licked my lips, and I felt a tear run down my cheek. I hadn't even realized I had started crying.

I pushed away from his body and placed a hand on his chest making him keep his distance.

"You'll be the one that breaks me Jasper." I said with conviction but I couldn't look in his eyes.

I shook my head.

Suddenly Jasper had me up against the wall. His face close to mine. I could feel his breath.

"Don't do this Bella." He looked desperate.

Maybe as desperate as I felt.

"I won't hurt you anymore! I can't fuckin' be away from you." My eyes went wide at his declaration.

Jasper's moved a hand and placed it behind my head, as if he was going to pull me into him. I wasn't going to fight it.

"What the fuck is this shit?" A familiar and annoying voice came from behind Jasper.

"God Bella, we only broke up a week ago. Do you think you could avoid being a slut at least while I am around?"

Jasper's eyes squinted and he spun around on Aron.

Pushing him against the other wall in this narrow hallway. Jasper pushed his chest into Aron's and he had a hand placed securely around Aron's throat.

I stood there like a complete moron. I was dumbfounded. It was really cool!

Jasper must have whispered something to Aron because his eyes bulged and he nodded.

My mouth was now open, if there were flies they would have found their way in.

Jasper loosed his grip on Aron's neck and backed away slightly. "Do we understand each other?" The big strong king asked the terrified little turd. It was a beautiful sight.

Aron simply nodded and Jasper released him. Aron ran, I mean the boy literally ran out of the bar.

_Fuck! I think I just came a little!_

I stood there staring at Jasper who was looking at me with an unreadable expression.

"Um, should I transfer?" I tried to joke.

Jasper pushed himself off the other wall and took the three steps until he was in front of me again.

_Oh wow, I hope he kisses me!_ I looked up into his stormy eyes. He looked like he wanted me as much as I wanted him. "Please kiss me!" I pleaded in my head. The now me would have kissed him. But the high school me waited. I needed to be the now me.

"Bella!" James came out of nowhere.

"Son of a bitch!" I whispered angrily. Why are all the people I know cock blocking me?

"What?" I yelled in a fit of absolute sexual frustration.

"I need you to take Victoria home. Before I break her neck." He said shaking his head. Okay, this one was actually a necessity.

"Yeah, okay. She can stay at my place." I said to James and then turned to Jasper. Pleading. "Come with me?"

"Yes." Jasper said. I grabbed his hand and he intertwined his fingers with mine.

We followed James to a still belligerent and angry Victoria. These were the only times that Victoria and James fought. When she was drunk. With me always trying to break them up and taking care of her wasted ass.

I really didn't mind, Victoria had done it for me dozens of times since we met. I just wanted to be alone with Jasper now. And I was pouting like a big baby.

I got Victoria into my guest bedroom, which used to be her room, she passed out almost immediately, I put a trash can by the bed, because she wasn't exactly know for being a solid drunk. "Idiot." I muttered to her.

I walked back out to my living room where Jasper was sitting again, just like a week ago. Petting my stupid disloyal cat looking like a dream come true.

"Hey." He said as I came around the corner.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure, water or anything." He answered a small smile playing on his lips.

I grabbed a couple bottles of water and headed back out to my living room.

"Thank you." He said as I handed him the bottle.

I threw myself on the couch at the other end with my leg bent in front of me sitting sideways. I still wanted some distance.

"So how is that you are here and the thing with Peter, I do not get at all."

"Pete's my roommate." Jasper smirked. "He showed me your picture on the flight here. I almost beat the fuck out of him."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Why are you here though?" I asked quietly.

"Bella, you can't keep ignoring me. That's bullshit."

"Ah, I can and I will do whatever I want." I went right for cocky. Mostly I was protecting myself. This guy could take my heart and rip it into a thousand little pieces. I knew it. I could not let that happen.

Jasper leaned forward towards me as if to make himself heard clearly.

"Yeah , you can do whatever you want. But I ain't going anywhere." He came closer and the cat jumped off his lap. "You were supposed to be mine."

"That doesn't make any sense!" I almost yelled. "This is about Edward! What am I a goddamn prize?"

"This isn't about Edward. Fuck him! This is about you and me. I've wanted you since the first second I saw you. I fucked up everything!" He slammed himself back into his seat.

"I don't understand Jasper. Please explain this to me."

He leaned forward and put his head in his hands with his elbows on his knees. Jasper rubbed his face down his hands and then looked over at me. His eyes held so much. Frustration, anger, sadness, and love.

"Jasper. Do you love me?" I asked. The words came out of my mouth and I almost chocked on them.

"Yeah."

**AN- (to be filled in after you read it Mynxi..=D)**

**I got permission from the great Durty Nelly to use her band creation Durty Betty as a fun little surprise for Mynxi and Cindy from her story Buried Among the Begonias. LOL**

**I cannot believe all the alerts! ()!! I am stunned and so happy! Thank you so much! I think I came a little so thanks for that!=D**

**Also, leave me some love....please...if you do I'll give you a present. **

**My job as pimp...**

**.net/s/5425057/1/No_Looking_Back**

**Bella and Jasper...6 years after Edward leaves Bella in the forest. She's made a nice life for herself and then the Cullen's come back and jack everything up...well sort of. It's really great!!!!=D **


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer- I don't own it, if I did my computer would be nicer.

Wanted Chapter 9 JPOV

Monday afternoon I tried calling Bella again, for the third time since I arrived back in Texas.

She wasn't answering the phone or returning my texts.

Christ that little woman was pissing me off!

Like an idiot I talked to my sister about it.

"So what did you do?" Rose asked me.

"I acted like an asshole." I said.

"Okay, that is not giving me any information at all. Were you mean to her? Did you try to kick her cat? These are the questions I need answers too."

"Yeah, I was mean. I actually told her Edward and Emmett wanted to fly out there to fuck her again."

"Well I still can't figure out why you guys thought she would want to do that again. Assward and Dumbett need to get their heads out of their butts and grow the hell up. You guys can't be pulling trains on your girlfriends forever!"

"Assward and Dumbett?" I asked not hiding my evil chuckle.

"Yeah, I like it. They are total idiots." Rose laughed. "But you're not much better! How could you go out there and try to butter her up for that again? For crying out loud Jazzy, you've been in love with her for years. Why wouldn't you just try and make it work?"

I took a deep breath.

"Thats what you told me you were going to do. Remember?" She scolded me. "Bella was so excited that you were going to see her and then you blow it right out your ass!"

"I know. I totally fucked it with her didn't I?"

"God! I don't know, she won't talk to me hardly, now that she knows I slept with Assward!" Rose felt awful now about her high school betrayal of Bella.

"I know, shit! We all fucked her in one way or another." I said.

"Ah, no. Jasper you didn't. You acted like a dumbass, but you didn't betray her. All the rest of us can't say that. But Jasper you never did. You may have scared her a little with the other two idiots, but you stopped it when you knew she didn't want it. God! I could smack your ass for that! She was so damn excited to see you and that right there should have told you how much she really liked you...you moron!" Rose yelled at me.

"I know! But I can't get her to listen to me." I whined.

"God Jazzy! Stop bugging her. She just needs some time away from your dumb ass!"

"Oh really why haven't you stopped calling her?" I retorted.

"Because I have to. I have to apologize. I totally fucked her over, Jasper! Bella always looked to me and Alice for advice. We were her best friends, teaching her stuff..." Rose sounded like her voice was cracking. "Alice and I totally screwed her! It was one thing for Edward. But Alice and me...oh my God! Think about how you felt every time Edward was with Bella, when you thought she should have been your girlfriend!"

Every single time I saw Edward with Bella, my Bella, I wanted to kill him. I basically wanted to kill him throughout high school. Every time he touched or kissed Bella I wanted to strangle that piece of shit.

Back in high school I wanted to kill him.

I thought if I could get her away from Edward she would want me. Then I would pussy out and be afraid I would lose her as a friend.

Edward knew I wanted her. He also knew Bella had a thing for me.

He blew it off until senior prom. Emmett, Edward, and I wanted prom to be something different. We all agreed to it and we would switch girls. Obviously Rose and Alice were going to be fine with the idea, but Bella was still the wild card.

"No fucking way!" Edward yelled after Emmett and I agreed that I would have Bella. This was the obvious choice. Alice was already my girlfriend.

"What the fuck is your problem Edward?" I jumped right back at him. It was better that I got Bella anyway. I wouldn't have made her do anything. Shit I would have been happy if we would have just taken a walk.

"I just won't do this to her." As usual he tried to act like he was the good guy.

"Fuck, you act like you love her, but you don't. She's like your little prize." I spat at him.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about Jasper. This is the girl I am going to marry! I'm not going to let the mother of my future children be fucked into a whore!"

"So let me get this straight. If I decide to marry Rosalie someday, just because she and I had fun when we were young, you're going to call her a whore?" Emmett asked with a laugh.

"Emmett, Rose is a whore." Edward said. My sister and Emmett's girlfriend a whore?

"Fuck you Edward! My sister is not a whore. She's just like us. Fucking stupid. We're not doing this anymore!" I announced.

With that I left.

I didn't see Edward and Emmett until we met up with our girls a few days before prom to go over details. It was agreed that we wouldn't do our little "share" bullshit anymore because of my fit. Alice was completely pissed off at me because of it. Alice knew how I felt about Bella. She always knew. Her fucking Edward was her freaked out way of getting back at Bella for being better than her.

That night while were we planning our prom event Bella and I talked. I knew it was pissing off Edward, but I couldn't get enough of her. She had the sweetest smile and most amazing laugh.

Bella had no idea how captivating she was. She never thought she was good enough to be friends with us. She always called herself an ugly duckling. She had no idea how above all of us she was. None of us forgot. Not me, not Edward, and definitely not Alice.

"Are you in love with Bella?" Alice asked me as I pulled up to her house to drop her off.

"Why, Alice?"

"Look I know you and I are together just for appearances now. But you need to tell me if you're in love with her!"

Avoiding had become a hobby of mine.

"How hard is it to lie to all your friends Alice? Rose and Bella have no idea that you and I aren't even together anymore." I was just being a dick.

"Like Edward and Emmett know?" She spat back at me. "You only hang around Edward just so you can sniff around Bella like a dog in heat!"

"Fuck we can make it official if you want. I'll tell them." I said without any real interest.

"Don't you dare! I might win prom queen!"

"Alice, this is bullshit! We haven't been together for almost 4 months!"

"Bella will never leave Edward for you. She loves him." Alice said quietly.

"I don't want Bella." I lied.

Alice wasn't buying it. "She will never want you. You're a criminal Jasper. She needs someone to take care of her. She's just like a scared little mouse. Edward has her under his thumb so hard. He has her trained almost perfectly. She fucks him just like he likes. Bella does everything just like she is supposed to. She looks like this little angel outside and acts like a slut in the bedroom for him. They are the all American couple Jasper. You will never win her." Alice told me everything I already knew.

Alice had her say and opened the car door. "Are you going over to Lauren's?" She asked before she stepped out.

"No. I'm not." I stated. Lauren was in the same boat as me. Lonely and not getting who she wanted.

"Jasper. I'm sorry you can't get what you want. Loyalty to your friends is important too." She said.

I snickered. "Loyalty, what a joke. Are you loyal to Bella?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, but I'm a lost cause Jasper. You aren't. You are still a good guy, you just lost your way a little. You owe Edward a good friend for all his help when you stole that car. So you can't go after Bella." She took a deep breath. "I am sorry though Jasper."

"I know Alice. I'm sorry you can't too."

Edward saved my ass from doing real time after I boosted an SUV in Seattle.

The cops said they had pictures of me from a security camera.

They had me.

But Edward saved me.

The good surgeon's son said he was with me and we were nowhere near Seattle that day. So Dr. Cullen made the calls to all the appropriate officials. The charges went away. I was indebted to Edward. I fuckin hated owing someone. I had known Edward for exactly four weeks when he did that.

Then all Edward did was keep the one thing I wanted more that anything on the planet just at arms length. Bella. He kept her dangling until we graduated. Then I watched her fly away.

Alice had wanted Edward the same way I wanted Bella.

It was sad.

No. It was pathetic.

We were pathetic. We watched them knowing they would never be ours.

Senior Prom came.

Prom was a waste of time. Emmett and Rose got prom king and queen.

Alice was so pissed. I couldn't have been happier.

Edward pulled his and Bella's name a week before prom for some reason I doubt Bella even knew it.

When we got to the cabin we all got drunk. For me it was washing away the pain. I couldn't have given a shit less why anyone else was drinking.

I kept looking at Bella. Wanting to see if there was anything there. Any hint that she might want me.

Finally she came downstairs after Edward fucked her. I was watching an old movie Haunted Honeymoon and drinking Wild Turkey straight from the bottle when I saw a ray of white standing next to me.

"Fuck! You scared the shit out of me Bella!"

She smiled down at me. "Sorry. What are you watching?"

"I don't know some dumbass old movie. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Edward passed out taking over most of the bed. When he's drunk he snores really loud. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Not tired."

She looked at my face closely. God I could smell her breath and skin, she smelled like Heaven. "You look tired." Then she sat down next to me on the couch.

I smiled at her. "You look tired too, darlin'."

Those beautiful eyes of hers.

She yawned, covering her mouth with her tiny hand. "I am tired, that's why I came down here. I figured I could sleep on the couch."

"You can rest here, I won't bite." I said quietly to her.

I wasn't trying to seduce her. Fuck it, yeah I was.

"If Edward came down he would just get mad at me. I'm not in the mood for a fight this weekend." Bella rolled her eyes and then smiled sweetly at me.

"I didn't know you and Edward fought. I thought you guys were like bees and honey." I winked at her.

"More like oil and water." Bella snickered.

"Here I thought you were the All American couple."

"Why on earth would you think that? He's always mad at me about something. We fight constantly. I didn't get into Penn and he acts like Boulder is a lowlife school! I mean seriously." She laughed.

I knew he was mean to her! I should fuck his ass up!

I joined her. "Why does he want to go to Penn so bad?" I asked.

"Legacy. All the Cullen's go there." She said quietly.

"I guess when you guys have kids they'll go there huh?" Why did I ask her that? Am I trying to kill myself?

She shook her head no. "All the Cullen's go to Penn. I could never be a Cullen, because of the ghetto school I am going to." We both laughed at that.

Bella had the cutest personality. Everyone thought she was too serious. Her humor was just too dark for them to get. It flew right over all of their heads. I thought she was a brilliant little riot.

We talked about college for a little while longer, after about thirty minutes she was asleep against my shoulder like a little girl, with her legs curled up underneath her. I wanted to get her blanket, but Bella touching me meant I wasn't moving an inch. I figured I would never get her this close to me again.

Edward always said Bella was going to Penn with him so I never asked her where she had applied to. If I had been smart I would have suicided** and applied only to CU just to get a leg up on Cullen and be with her.

Bella's breathing became really deep and I knew she was sound asleep. I pulled away only slightly, giving myself enough room to look at her beautiful face. "I love you baby." I kissed her lightly on the lips. She snuggled closer to me. I was in Heaven.

"Are you fucking crazy man?" Emmett said out of the darkness.

I gasped and pulled away from Bella.

"You scared the shit out of me!"

"Good! Talking to her like that, kissing her! What the hell is wrong with you?" He stood in front of the television and all I could see was his enormous shape through the darkness.

"Oh whatever you both can fuck my girlfriend, but I'm not allowed to get a little peck." I said back in anger.

"Shut up man. Neither one of us want Alice and I know for a fact Edward can't stand Rosie. But Bella! I know you are, and you better fuckin' believe Edward knows you're in love with her! And that is why he won't let you have her! Shit if it was just sex he probably would have asked Bella. But damn man, you look at her like a lost puppy or some shit." Emmett tried to explain everything I already knew.

"Are you done?"

"Not even remotely!" Then Emmett sat down on one of the chairs and looked at the television.

"All right what else asshole?"

He looked back at me like he forgot I was there. "What?"

"You said you weren't done giving me shit." I had to laugh.

"Oh yeah. She's unconscious! Thats fucked up." Emmett was making his point and it was fucking with my head. "I know you don't think Edward takes care of her, but I think he really loves her."

"Bullshit." I stated.

Emmett shrugged. "You're just pissed because you and Alice haven't had sex in like forever."

"I got Lauren."

"But you want Bella." He teased. "Hey why are we not fucking Lauren?"

"We aren't doing that shit anymore!"

"Oh yeah!" Emmett got pissed.

"Why didn't you want him to ask Bella?" I asked him. Emmett had always told Edward he didn't want Bella to do it either.

Emmett shrugged. "Bella has only been with Edward. She's still like a virgin. I don't think a virgin should do this kind of shit."

I shook my head and laughed at him.

"Don't shake your damn head. You don't want her doing this shit just like he doesn't. You both think she's like this little angel from heaven. You guys both treat her like she's breakable glass. That's a tough little chick right there man."

"Why doesn't it bother you that Rose wants to? Just don't give specifics. She's my sister. "

Emmett shrugged again. "I think it's cool that she's willing to try new things. She's not uptight about sex. When we finally do decide to settle down, I think it'll be out of our system. So we won't cheat or act like assholes. We'll be good together you know?"

"Huh. Or you just both wanna fuck around." I joked. Emmett socked me in the shoulder.

We heard pipes running so we knew someone was coming downstairs most likely.

"Get her off your shoulder man!" Emmett said excitedly regarding Bella's sleep location.

I gently pushed Bella's head so it rested on the arm of the sofa and Emmett came running over from the other side of the room with a quit. We threw it on her quickly and then tried to act like we weren't doing anything. I still had a hand wrapped on one of her ankles.

"Why the fuck were we so nervous?" Emmett asked and I started laughing.

"Shit I don't know! It's your fault!" We both chuckled quietly.

Then we saw Edward come downstairs and walk over to us. I kept the smile painted on my face.

I could see his eyes flash with anger when he realized where Bella was. "What the fuck is she doing down here?" Edward practically yelled.

"She said you took over the whole bed and snored." I answered. I wanted him to know that I was the one she came too.

Edward took a deep breath. "I'll carry her up." He mumbled.

"Just let her sleep man. She's _fine_." Emmett said with a bit too much meaning and we both smiled at Edward.

"Yeah, she is _fine_, huh Emmett?" Edward stated.

"Come on Eddie, it's not like we violated her in her sleep. Don't be such a pussy." Emmett said with a smile.

Edward finally sat down on the other chair. He looked like he wanted to kill me being this close to Bella. I smiled at him again.

"So what the fuck are you going to do about Alice?" He asked me. Edward wanted us talking about a different girlfriend.

"She's going to California after graduation. I don't know why." I lied.

Alice was being sent to California for a 120 day drug rehabilitation program. Her father had finally had enough of his wife's and his daughter's bullshit and was going to fix the one he could. It was about time he fuckin' grew some balls, otherwise Alice was going to be six feet under.

We finally started talking about something that none of us would get pissed about, college football.

We were all playing at our perspective colleges and happily so.

My sister broke me from my memory of prom.

"Fuck Jasper are you listening to me?" Rose was yelling at me. I had been tuning her out.

"Yeah, shit I can hear you. Not for much longer if you don't stop yelling though!"

"Are you going to go see Bella again?" Rose asked in a slightly calmer voice.

"Yeah, I'm going to Boulder again this weekend."

"But you haven't talked to her about it? She is going to be so pissed off!" Rose berated me.

"Maybe she'll be happy to see me."

"Well she did send you back to Texas with a big smile. Oh no wait! She was crying and mad at you, and you felt like a bucket of shit." Rose was having way too much fun at my expense.

"I want her, Rosie. I don't think I can live without her. Shit, I went on line and put in my transfer application for CU!"

"God Jasper! Are you going to stalk her if she doesn't want you back?"

I laughed. "No." _Absolutely, I had every intention of it._

"What if she decided she couldn't live without Edward? What would you do then?" She asked in all seriousness.

"Kill him."

"Shut up! What would you do it she got mad at you and never wanted to talk to you ever again? I mean she is avoiding you like the plague."

"I can't give up yet. I finally got to have her. I am not giving her up yet."

"Oh Jazzy, you sound like a nut! She feels betrayed by all her friends. She can't get over it that quick."

"I am going to Colorado this Friday. I'll find out then." I said.

"You're crazy! But if she does kick you out on your ass come visit me. I didn't get to see you enough last time." She started laughing.

"You're a sick woman Rose! Damn. Hey is Emmett coming back for you?"

"Yeah, he's transferring here. I think he's flunked out so he's going to the local community college." she started laughing harder.

"Never mind you're evil!"

"I know huh!"

**Thursday-**

I got a call from Edward on Thursday. Smug mother fucker wanted to talk about Bella right away.

"I talked to Bella yesterday. She misses me I think." Edward mused.

"Oh yeah? You do have that bullshit attitude she never quite figured out."

Could Bella really be talking to _him_ again?

"Come on. I was her first love of course she's going to want me back."

I rolled my eyes.

I wanted to punch him in the face through the phone. I had to get off the phone with him before I said something I would regret.

"Yeah, good for you man. I'm going to see her again this weekend." There it is, my biggest regret. Fuck! I wanted to punch myself in the face now! I shouldn't have told him I was going to see her.

Edward became tense. "Why are you going to see her again?"

"Because I want to." I said.

This statement abruptly ended our conversation.

**Friday-**

Friday morning Peter and I were sitting on the plane about an hour away from our destination.

"Hey want to see the girl I got a date with?" Peter asked out of no where.

"Sure. She pretty?"

"Yeah, really cute. I guess she's Vic's old roommate."

Peter was scrolling through his pictures on his phone when he handed it to me. "There she is."

My eyes saw but my brain couldn't believe it. I was instantly pissed.

"This is a fucking joke right?"

"What?" He asked surprised.

"Did Edward or Rose put you up to this?" I asked furiously.

Peter and I had been roommates since our freshman year. He already had heard about my unrequited love for this particular brunette and the asshole friend who stole her from me.

"No! I haven't talked to Rosie since the fourth of July, and I can't stand that dude Edward."

The realization dawned on his face as he watched me.

"Come on! This is your girl?" He yelled. I nodded. "How the hell is that even possible? Colorado is a big fucking state!"

I looked back at Bella's beautiful smile. I was ready to crush the phone in my bare hand.

"Don't break my phone asshole." Peter demanded his phone back with an extended hand. I slammed it there.

"Fuck well there goes my weekend." Peter complained. "This is the girl from home? The one that dated Edward?"

I nodded tensely.

Peter knew about Edward, Emmett, and my weird ass shit with girls. He thought my friends from high school were assholes and he thought that we were all nasty fucks for what we did with our girlfriends. He was right. But somehow we remained friends.

"Damn, man. You wanna show up with me and get her all worked up?" He laughed. "I know how you like to fuck with the ladies."

Now I was laughing.

"I am not going to mess with Bella." I said.

"So she isn't one of you guy's freaky fucks?"

"No, she isn't." I said, more to convince myself.

Bella was the only person that mattered to me next to my sister and my mother. Nobody needed to know about that shit with Bella anyway.

After we landed Peter called his cousin and told him that I was going to be going with them tonight if I couldn't get a hold of my "girlfriend". We rented a car and headed toward Boulder with me driving.

"I think I'm going to transfer here." I said out of nowhere.

"Seriously? This girl has you by the balls." Peter said and then he laughed at me.

Peter and I arrived at the hotel, got checked in and waited for his cousin.

About two hours later James picked us up and we were headed back to Denver and a place called the Rainbow Room.

After we got to the bar I was surprised that Bella would be at a place like this. But then again Bella wasn't a girl anymore. She was a fierce and sexy woman, and I was actually glad I was getting a taste of this over the scared innocent girl she was before.

James saw Bella and he pointed her out to us where she was sitting at a table by herself.

I noticed the crazy looking dudes all around her watching her every move.

Bella looked sexy as hell. Her long brown hair was up in a high ponytail and her makeup was dark around the eyes. Her shirt was baby doll short hugging her tits like damn Saran Wrap and she was sucking on a drink by the straw like she was dying of thirst.

My dick liked what my eyes were seeing.

I stared at her, willing her to notice me before I arrived at the table.

She did.

Bella's eyes met mine and she started chocking on her drink.

James ran over to start pounding on her back.

A disappointed looking freak of nature that had been watching Bella gave James some shit about not hitting a choking person's back.

James introduced Bella to Peter and me. I extended my hand but she refused to look at me. I kept it there to make her uncomfortable, finally she took it and I squeezed her tiny hand a little tight. Her eyes flashed to mine and I could see her anger.

My little kitten wants to be a tiger so bad. I had to smile.

Fuck! Bella was hot when she was pissed.

She turned and talked to Peter. She was making an attempt to flirt.

Peter would tell her everything. He was a good guy, Peter would never lie to a girl.

James went to go look for his girlfriend. Bella continued to refuse to look at me straight on, but I saw her trying to catch glances at me through her peripheral.

I couldn't decide if I was pissed or happy as hell. She was talking to Edward on the phone still, but she was agreeing to go on blind dates, and she was so unbelievably uncomfortable by my presence but she didn't ask me to go. As usual this little woman was driving me nuts.

Once the Hell Cat called Victoria was at the table it was obvious it was going to be a long bad night for James. She grabbed Bella and they went to the restroom.

I picked up Bella's drink and took at sip to see how drunk she was. It was diet soda. I was glad. We could actually have a conversation tonight.

"So what are you gonna do?" Peter asked me. "I like her so don't be a dickhead." Of course Pete liked her.

I smirked. Pete shook his head at me and grinned.

"She's gonna be mine. I don't care how pissed she is." I said with conviction.

"Well I don't fuckin' blame you. Because damn boy, she is fine as all hell!" He joked and slapped my shoulder. With that I started for the hallway that housed the bathrooms.

I watched two more emo cry baby chicks walk into the women's room before Bella and the Hell Cat came out. They were obviously talking about me when Victoria pointed at me and Bella's eyes got wide.

Bella tried to walk past me as if she was pissed. I may have grabbed her harder than I intended. But Bella although slight, is a tough little girl. I had to use some muscle to pull her in.

We fought which I knew we would, but when she cried and told me that I would be the one to break her, my heart broke. I realized all the mistakes I had been making were really hurting her. But I knew now that all this really wasn't one sided. She wanted me too.

I was about to kiss her when I heard some little fucker from behind me bad mouth my girl and I almost snapped the piece of shit's head off. When I held him against the wall I promised him I would cut his sack open and remove his balls then watch him bleed out. I assured him no one would ever know what happened to him if he ever came near Bella again.

He believed me.

He wasn't so dumb after all.

I'm pretty sure he pissed himself.

The nasty little fuck ran like a scared rat.

I looked at Bella and she actually made a joke.

Finally I was going to kiss her again.

Never mind. What the hell is going on in Colorado that I can't kiss her?

Now James was cock blocking trying to get Bella to get the Hell Cat out of here before he killed her.

I think it's the music. Why do people listen to this shit music when we could all be nice and mellow listening to Boston or Kansas? I know, random...but damn!

We made it to Bella's place in no time. Even with having to pull over once so the Hell Cat could puke.

"So how you doin' Butch?" I whispered to Bella's cat with the dumb name when we got there.

This furry pain in the ass liked me. I had always been more of a dog person, but this cat was cool as hell. He jumped on my lap after I sat on the couch and made himself at home there. Bella loved this cat like it was her kid, so I figured get the kid to like me and the single mother would follow. Sick I know.

Bella brought me a bottle of water and we got to talking, finally.

All I wanted to do was kiss her. But now she was keeping her distance. Smart girl.

Then she asked me the question. Did I love her?

I promised myself I wouldn't lie to Bella anymore. It was too soon, I knew it. But she wouldn't have asked if there wasn't something there for her too, right?

So I answered. Honestly. "Yeah."

"What do you mean yeah?" She asked with disdain.

"I am in love you Bella, have been since we were in high school."

Her eyes got huge. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" She sounded so sweet at that question I had to smile.

"Because I would've ruined everything. My friendships, my sister's relationships and friendships. I couldn't risk it. So I just watched you."

"Are you playing with me Jasper?" The fear in her voice said this was a real question.

"I will never do that again. I swear." I leaned closer to her again.

"I don't know what to believe anymore."

"I feel like an asshole. I should have never acted that way with you. Everything just got fucked up." I was trying to calm myself down but it wasn't working.

Bella could tell.

I was feeling like a complete pussy.

I looked over at her. She wasn't looking at me in a demeaning way.

She didn't even look pissed.

She looked happy.

I had to smile back. This girl provided me with so many more questions than answers. Of course I did the same to her.

"What? Why are you smiling?" I asked her. I smiled at her in return.

"I'm glad you came back." She looked at me with wide eyes and a small smile.

I took a deep breath.

She came over on the couch kneeling beside me as she placed her tiny hands on either side of my face and leaned in to kiss me.

I pulled away from the kiss but pulled her body down to straddle mine. Feeling her again this close was driving me out of my mind. Before that happened completely I needed to hear something from her.

"Tell me." I said to her.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me why you are happy I'm here." I was serious.

I didn't need her to love me if she wasn't ready but I needed to hear her say at least something about wanting me.

"Because you're the one I've always wanted. You were my fantasy Jasper. I just get mad at you when I think about last weekend." She nuzzled into my neck. "I can't even be mad at any of them anymore."

"Mad at them, why?"

"I guess I kind of cheated on Edward too. Maybe not physically, but I always wanted you. I thought about you all the time."

I had to smile. "Do not put that shit on you. Edward was a dick and he and all of us know that. You just had a crush."

"No I had more than that for you."

I brought her face up to mine. "I need to hear it Bella."

"I love you too Jasper." She kissed me and then pulled away. "I'm just not very good at this stuff."

"What stuff? I want you, you want me. It's simple."

"I've never been good with relationships and now we are supposed to do long distance."

I laughed, should I tell her I was going to be her personal stalker. Sure why not.

"I'm transferring up here as soon as I can."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously. I cannot be away from you now. I need you." I rubbed my hands along her back.

She lowered her head on to my shoulder.

"Shit Bella, you drive me crazier than any girl I have ever met and I can't fuckin' live without you. Not talking to you this week drove me nuts, and I only talked to you twice the week before that! You took over my life, quick!"

Bella brought her head up and looked directly into my eyes and smiled brightly.

"Is that cool then?" I asked. Bella kissed me.

She was at my lips with her beautiful soft mouth taking me into hers deeply. I could feel my dick getting harder under the weight of her on my legs. Bella weighed close to nothing but her heat and that amazing scent was burying me.

I could die now and be a happy man.

Bella's hands started working the buttons on my shirt. Mine acted as if they had a mind of their own and went straight to her ass. I pulled her higher up on my lap, griding into her with my pelvis.

"Baby." I whispered against her mouth.

She opened her eyes and looked at me with an emotion that could have brought me to my knees.

"Jasper. I love you."

**AN- So Jasper has been in love with her for a long ass time. But the boy is not real good with emotions so he mostly suppressed them or pushed them aside. At least he thought he was. **

**He also wasn't really good at hiding stuff. **

**Now on to the reviews and alerts. WOW! I am stunned! I have never gotten so many alerts to any of my fics. I am truly humbled and incredibly nervous because now there is a bunch of people out there reading this versus my little group that followed me from story to story. * wrings hands ***

**Not that I didn't want to make that group happy!!! I love them!!! **

**Some of you like/love it while others are confused or just plain pissed with this fic. I guess I am happy and sad...? I am just one smallish woman who writes as a hobby who wants to project emotions on to characters that I like, well love since it's Jasper. I think that was pretty insightful, well maybe not. I'll ask Mynxi, she knows this stuff better than I do.**

**Anyhoo...love y'all bunches!!!! Now review this thing and satiate my need for acceptance and love, I'm a big baby. **Note from Mynxi.... "She ain't lying she is a big baby."

**Humph...**

****Oh yeah! For those of you wondering about the term/word "suicided" Jasper was talking about when he was discussing following Bella to Boulder. That particular term is used in some circles as applying to only one college or university and risking not getting any backup schools to accept you. There is a reason mommy, daddy and your high school guidance counselors suggest backups. It's a freakin stupid idea to apply to only one school! I did....and ended up going to a much different school than I had originally planned. =D **

**See also the movie from like maybe 1988 starring Anthony Edwards and Lara Flynn Boyle called "How I Got Into College" . Funny as hell and the term is used in it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything, except my car that thing is paid off, so back the hell up.=D**

**Um, this chapter has no warnings....except lots o' lemons. ;) Like I made freakin lemonade! So Merry Christmas!**

Chapter 10 BPOV

Jasper's hands were everywhere. His exploration was that of an expert but so gentle and sensitive.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode.

God this man drove me insane.

I was on fire.

"Bella." He said against my mouth. I looked at Jasper. The boy I had a crush on through high school. The guy I lusted after for years and got to have under weird circumstances. Now I was with the man who admitted that he loved me and had for years, he never wanted to hurt me again.

I believed him.

Now I could admit to all those feelings I'd had for so long had led to. I loved Jasper Hale.

"Jasper. I love you."

"Oh God, Baby." Jasper said as he lifted me up and pushed me on my back toward the couch. My legs were locked around his waist holding him securely to me.

Jasper was hovering over me. His hands came to support him next to my head. I loosened my grip a little on his body. He looked at me with his deep blue eyes, they always looked like the ocean to me, deep and vast, holding secrets I always wanted to be in on. His honey blond hair still loosely curled and beautiful as I attached my fingers to it. I could feel him doing the same thing with my hair.

I didn't care if it was too soon to say those words.

I didn't care about anything except him.

He brought his soft lips to mine again, I opened my mouth to his invitation of greatness by that amazing tongue of his.

Jasper brought his full weight on to me. He felt incredible and perfect.

Perfect pressure and grinding with both of us still fully clothed.

Jasper moved a hand down my body only gently grazing the swell of my breast while he continued his slow torturous decent down my now shaking body.

He stopped at the waistband of my jeans.

Our eyes locked.

Jasper seemed to be having an internal debate with himself.

Jasper always represented strength and masculinity to me. But seeing him like this, slightly insecure and nervous made me want him even more.

"I want you Jasper." I whispered.

He took my lower lip with his teeth sucking lightly. His fingers moved lower on my jeans to my denim covered crotch and began rubbing softly there and then moving with fast determination. With his body and his hands I was slowly coming undone. Forget needing anything else, him working me and being so close to me was enough to make me clench and my brain scream for release.

"Cum for me Bella, do it now." Jasper whispered against my mouth.

And I did. _Hard!_

After I came down from my orgasm I opened my eyes to Jasper's blue orbs staring into my soul. His stare made me gasp. I realized he watched me throughout it.

I blushed without realizing it, and brought my right hand to cover up my eyes. I started laughing.

"Why are you coving your eyes, beautiful?" Jasper asked chuckling slightly..

"I can't believe I came that hard from dry humping." I said through my laughter.

"Oh now, darlin', I don't think you're all that dry." He drawled. God when he used his accent with effort it drove me insane.

He took my hand away from eyes. "I guess you're right. God you are dirty talker." I said with the most seductive voice I could muster.

"Like it? I'll use it to my advantage then." He smiled so beautifully. "You are so amazing Bella. Do you know that?" He looked at me with wonder in his eyes.

This was the real Jasper. The one I had fallen for so long ago, and the one I could give myself to now.

"Do you want to go to the bedroom?" I asked him.

"I don't have any clothes here."

"Maybe I don't want you dressed." I smiled.

He laughed, "Now who's the dirty talker?" He brought his right hand up and cupped my cheek. "I wouldn't leave now if I wanted too. Can I stay here the rest of the weekend?"

"Yes."

"You can't cry though. Okay?"

I couldn't help but smile at him. The last time he was here I was a blubbering mess. But it was because of him.

"I won't, I promise. You can't get all weird." I said to him and he smiled.

"Yeah, I know. I have no desire to act _weird_. I'll get my stuff tomorrow."

Jasper and I disentangled ourselves from one another. He stood up and offered his hand to me. I looked up at him and took it. We held hands to my bedroom.

This wasn't our first time together obviously.

But it was the first time we were going to make love.

I was completely at ease with Jasper. Somehow he felt like home to me.

He closed my bedroom door and locked it. I had actually forgotten Victoria was asleep in my spare bedroom, her old room.

He walked over to me where I stood beside by my bed, he brought his hands up to my face and cupped my cheeks gently, placing his lips against mine. My arms moved on their own volition to his neck and hair. Jasper's hair was so soft the curls gently brushing on my skin.

Jasper's hands traveled down my body to my shirt's hem, I removed my hands from his hair and straightened them above my head a clear invitation for the clothes to stop being an obstacle, and he lifted up quickly. Tossing it to the side he smirked at me.

His smirk. God, that made him look so fucking hot!

Jasper reached around and undid my bra and I let it fall to the ground. He then palmed my breasts using his thumbs over my nipples causing them to harden painfully under his warm touch. He pushed me back onto my bed while he stayed standing, looking at me with hungry eyes.

"Jesus Bella! You are gorgeous." He whispered.

He brought his fingers to my belt and finally he was removing my jeans, taking my panties with them. Jasper then took his shirt off and threw it to the side. My bedroom floor was covered in discarded clothing at this point.

Both our breathing was becoming erratic.

Jasper worked his way up my body peppering kisses all the way, then as reached my neck he leaned on his out stretched arms hovering over me, looking into my eyes. His eyes burning me with the storm that raged in them.

I started to work his jeans while he held that position. It was only fair. I wasn't going to be nude with even a partially dressed Jasper, that was not fair.

I started working his jeans down his hips my hand brushed against his very prominent erection still hidden in his boxer briefs. I got his jeans down and dove into his underwear grabbing his cock with my hand.

Jasper hissed through his teeth as I began to stroke him slowly.

I started to work my way down. "Stay just like that." I said to him smiling. I wanted Jasper's dick in my mouth.

As I wiggled I enjoyed his body licking and biting everything I could get my mouth on until I reached my real destination. On my way down I looked back up to see Jasper looking at me from this position. He was upside down and I saw his eyes close as I took him into my mouth as far as I could.

"Oh fuck Bella!"

I relaxed my throat as he began to thrust himself into me.

_Fuck! _I wanted to swallow him whole.

After thrusting and sucking he exploded into my mouth and throat. I swallowed and took it like a champ if I do say so myself. _Just for the record, Jasper has a big ass dick. Just thought I'd mention that. _Jasper's breathing was forced but he stayed in position.

I worked my way back up Jasper's great body and smiled at him as soon as I got back under him, face to face. "Darlin' you are trying to kill me aren't you?"

"Baby, did that feel like I was gonna hurt you?" I whined.

A beautiful smile spread across his face. "You are a bad girl, aren't you?" I shrugged.

Jasper kissed my lips and started moving lower. He lavished my breasts with open mouth kisses and kept his decent down my body until he reached my sex. He dove right in on my clit. Licking and sucking until I thought my head was going to pop off.

He didn't let me come!

He moved back up so we were face to face. "Oh my God." I whispered to him, and he smiled. Then as soon as the smile showed up it changed to a look of danger. He looked like he was going to fuck the hell out of me. Maybe we wouldn't be making love tonight. _ I was good with fucking too._

Jasper kicked his jeans off the rest of the way and grabbed my legs pulling them up onto his shoulders, placing the tip of his dick against my entrance without warning Jasper plunged into me. My body arched up to his and we both groaned.

"Bella you are so fucking beautiful." He whispered to me as his strokes went from long and slow to hard and fast.

"God... Jasper....fuck.." I wasn't making a whole lot of sense. But my God this man could fuck me good!

"Cum Bella! Cum now Baby!" Jasper reached down in between us, pushing his thumb into my clit and rubbing vigorously.

I started to scream out my release along with his name and I felt my body contract on his dick inside of me and Jasper followed right after me.

Jasper and I stared at each other for a few minutes. He pushed my hair out of my face while I held on to his shoulders with all my might. For some reason he looked like an apparition now. Could he just disappear?

"I love you." I whispered.

He leaned in and kissed me sweetly.

"I love you too, Baby."

He rolled off me and we laid sideways looking at each other.

He trailed a finger down my cheek and grinned at me.

"No tears. You promised."

I smiled.

"No acting weird. You promised too."

Jasper smiled in return.

My dreams wandered. From fantasy back to my reality. As always I dreamed about my past.

Although I was happily lying in Jasper's arms there was still the things that were unresolved in my head.

The days leading up to Jessica's party had been tense for all of us.

Edward was constantly finding something to be mad at me over. I was just trying not to cry most of the time.

"Come on Bella. You're a straight A student how the hell didn't you get into Penn? Did you even really apply?" Edward accused me of the craziest stuff sometimes.

I looked at him like he was insane. I wasn't going to be able to yell at him since we were sitting in the library studying for finals which were coming up the following week, and then the week after was graduation.

"You cannot be serious Edward!" I whispered.

"It's just unbelievable, thats all." He snapped like a turtle at me.

"Oh really then why didn't you get into CU?" I was so angry at him I was spitting tacks anymore.

After he made me feel bad about talking to Jasper before prom, Edward wasn't getting away with as much from me. I had finally reached my breaking point. But he wasn't going to make me cry.

Amazingly, I was getting nothing but support from Alice, Rosalie and especially my father now that I was standing up for myself to Edward. Hell, even Emmett would chime in as one of my cheerleaders on a regular basis now.

Jasper had always taken a backseat after prom. I just assumed it was because he and Alice weren't getting along. It felt like his eyes were on me more than ever however.

"I didn't apply to CU!" Edward hissed back at me.

"What the hell?!" Now I was furious. "So you are accusing me of the crap that you actually do?"

He was finished. With the conversation and most likely with me. I wasn't sure I cared.

Edward stood up grabbing all of his books and walked out of the library in a huff.

I watched him disappear from my view but I really didn't care, which surprised me. I had driven to the library so he was the one that was going to have to walk now.

My cell phone buzzed while I was sitting at the trying to calm down from me and Edward's fight. It was Alice.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Hey Bella. Where are you?" Alice sounded weird.

"I'm studying at the library. Why?"

"Did you know that the guys went to a strip club last night?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well what the Hell happened after they got back?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes! Dammit did you see Jasper last night?" She sounded almost hysterical now.

"No, why would I see Jasper?" Now I was really confused. "Alice what happened?"

"Nothing. I can't believe they did that!" She took a deep breath. "You don't know how they are Bella."

"What are you talking about Alice?" _Where was this coming from?_

"Did you see Edward?"

"Well yeah, he came over after they got back into town. Why?

"Well what happened with you and Edward?" She just kept jumping around from topic to topic, but Edward was her favorite it seemed.

I was not about to get into a sex talk with someone while I sat in the middle of the library.

It was really none of her business that when Edward came back to town he was sitting on my window sill scratching on the glass. I was terrified when I heard the noise and then completely turned on when I saw him sitting there.

Even though Edward and I had been fighting everyday all week when I opened my window to let him in, it was like we were when he first touched me. He was gentle and sweet and when he climbed back out my window hours later after we had made love three times. Sadness had washed through me as I watched him run to his car before my father could catch him.

_I knew we were ending soon._

"Alice, I really can't discuss this with you right now. If you need to talk it's gonna have to be one sided or one word answers. People are looking at me." It wasn't completely true, the only person watching me was the librarian, and she would never say anything mean to me.

Mrs. Cope had been kind to me since I was a kid and started coming here. She had known me since I was five and my father brought me to the library after my mother died. It was the only place I had felt safe, just because it was quiet by the stacks but there was always people around. The hospital had been frightening for me because of the machines. But my father never cried when he took me to library he seemed to cry everywhere else but not there.

"Fuck Bella! I can't find Jasper anywhere!" She screamed and began crying.

"God Alice, if he went with Emmett and Edward he was fine. Edward just left, so I can't ask him. I don't know where he was going. I'm sorry."

Alice's personality was spinning on a dime lately and it was scaring the crap out of me. Even though she had just been screaming and crying then as soon as I mentioned Edward again, she sounded happy.

"Where did Edward go?"

"Um, like I just said I have no clue." Seriously it was like she had selective hearing too? Why would she even care where Edward went? She needed to keep track of her own boyfriend. I wished I had told her that when we hung up. But as usual, Bella wimped out. I mentally chastised myself.

"Bella? Is everything alright?" Mrs. Cope asked me.

"Yeah. It's just the stress of school and everything you know. All of us going to college in a few months."

"You're going early though, aren't you?"

I smiled, my father loved to brag about me.

"Yes. I am going up to Colorado a couple weeks after graduation. Fast track, I guess they call it." I smiled at her.

She smiled brightly. "Your dad is so proud of you. He was so worried he wouldn't be able to raise you right, but he's done a great job. You are going to do amazing things Bella."

"Thank you Mrs. Cope. I better get going." I grabbed my belongings.

I walked out of the library and started for my truck when I noticed Jasper and Edward talking in the park.

I wasn't sure what was going on but they looked angry with one another. Edward pushed Jasper's shoulder and then Jasper grabbed Edward's shirt and pushed him back. I watched in shock at my boyfriend and his best friend fighting. Their voices were loud although I couldn't hear the actual words they said to each other.

I saw Emmett's Jeep pull up and he ran over obviously to break up their fight.

I watched. As Emmett put himself between both of them although they were both so angry with one another Emmett was having very little luck pulling them apart. My heart started thundering in my chest and I realized I was running towards the park, not really realizing that I would not be any help.

I heard two things that should have stopped me in my tracks if it had registered that day, one I heard Jasper saying he was in love, and two that Edward never should have had something? I wasn't sure about any names.

Emmett saw me approaching and told Edward and Jasper who both immediately pulled apart from each other and looked over at me.

Edward looked angrier once his eyes met mine. Jasper just looked pissed.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Edward said immediately. He was furious.

I was about to say something but Jasper beat me to it.

"Don't fuckin' talk to her that way you asshole!"

Edward snapped his head around at Jasper, "Back off right now Jasper." His voice filled with venom.

"Don't! Fuck! Okay you guys just knock this shit the fuck off!" Emmett yelled at them.

Edward walked away from them and stalked past me. He didn't even look at me.

I was in total shock then turned to see Jasper and Emmett looking at me. I honestly didn't know if I wanted to go anywhere with Edward but I thought I should anyway.

I did start to follow Edward when I heard Emmett's voice from behind me.

"Just let him cool off okay Bella. Don't go after Edward." Emmett said in a calm voice. Although he still had a hand wrapped around one of Jasper's arms, like he was holding him back.

I nodded to Emmett but now I couldn't take my eyes off Jasper. He looked like a jungle cat about to pounce. He was glaring at Edward's back as he walked away, but when his eyes would shift back to me he seemed to relax.

"Jasper are you okay?" I asked.

"Edward didn't touch me."

I knew that wasn't true but I was pretty sure he thought I was worried he was hurt at the hands of Edward. More of a macho thing than anything I was guessing.

"No, I meant are you going to be okay?"

Emmett let his arms fall to his side and Jasper looked at me, like he was seeing directly into my soul.

"I'm fine Bella." Jasper said quietly and gave me a small grin.

The three of us separated, Emmett and Jasper going one way and me heading back to my truck. I thought that Edward would be waiting for me.

He wasn't.

I was relieved.

He had been so angry lately and I wasn't sure why, but it scared me.

I drove home quickly to finish my studying if I could get anymore to retain after what I had witnessed.

I woke up with Jasper spooning me and I was almost falling off the bed.

I knew why. Mr. Mustachio would have taken over the majority of the bed and forced Jasper closer to me, because that freakin cat chose Jasper over me all the time, and he was greedy cat!

I rolled over slightly to look at Jasper's face. He looked like an angel when he slept, it was disturbing how beautiful he was at times.

His breathing was slightly irregular so I figured he was waking up too. But until then I just wanted to soak up as much of his face as I could.

It was my turn to run my finger over his face. I didn't touch his skin; I just followed his features shadowing them as best I could.

"What are you doing?" Jasper mumbled with a sleep voice.

"Looking at you."

He groaned and then started to open is eyes. He smiled sweetly.

"I hate your cat." He joked.

"But Mr. Mustachio loves you. So don't hold it against him that he wants to be close to you."

Jasper rolled over onto his back slowly which caused the cat to sprint off the bed.

"Guess I should have done that last night, huh Baby?"

I smiled at him. My heart was doing back hand springs every time he used a pet name for me. My favorite had to be darlin' though. He would always punctuate it with his Southern accent.

"Uh oh, whats up? You're not gonna start crying are you?" He asked me concerned.

I lightly slapped his bare chest. "No. I just think you're beautiful. I like to look at you."

A sleep grin passed over his face. "Well darlin' I like to look at you too." He grabbed me by my neck and brought me down to kiss him. Then said, "You talk in your sleep. Did you know that?"

"Yes. I have since I was really little. After my mom died."

His eyes widened like he had forgotten. "How did she die?"

"Breast cancer."

"Is that why you wanted to become a doctor?"

"Yes."

Jasper pulled me into his chest and squeezed my shoulders.

"Hey what did I say in my sleep?" I had promised Jasper that I wouldn't cry, so a subject change was in order immediately.

He chuckled. "You made no sense at first and then like three hours ago, you started talking about a fight. Who was fighting?"

How bad would it ruin our day if I mentioned Edward? How bad would I feel if I lied to Jasper?

"Sometimes my dreams are really vivid memories. I've done it since I was little."

"So who was fighting?"

"Edward and you."

"Which time?"

_Which time? How many times had they fought? Being best friends must have been a pain for both of them._

"How many times did you guys get into fights?" I smiled.

"More often than not after a certain point." Jasper said nonchalantly.

"What was the point?"

Jasper looked at me sweetly and then took a deep breath, squeezing my shoulders again. "Meeting you."

**AN- Hello, and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, It's the Most Wonderful Time of The Year..what else?? Just be safe and happy...mkay! I love you guys!**

**A big fat and loud smoocher to my girl Mynxi, she beta's me and corrects my atrocious spelling and my obsession with commas ( by the way...why you gotta judge the comma luff?) . So MWAH!**

**NOW do you see the green button, click on it. Then put a bunch of words together, if they go together then I am all the more happy, and review this mutha! They always make me smile even if you think I suck...I mean those don't make me smile as much as the good reviews but still. **

**PIMPIN (links are on my page)....um... **

**Master of the Universe.... SWEET holy HELL! BDSM and Edward looking hot in leather ( I love this story!). I just found this story so nobody make fun of me!**

**For the 3 way luvahs A Dark New World. Actually poor Bella well lets just say there is more....never mind, just go read it. You know if you're brave enough! =D **

**And be nice to Kat! Some readers are being giant jerk-offs to her! **

**NOTE- _I'm writing this because of what is happening to Kat and to a couple other writers that I adore._**

**I really don't mind flaming reviews. But I am curious why on God's green earth would someone continue reading a story that they hated? Just walk away, delete it when it shows up on e-mail. I stopped reading Gerald's Game by Stephen King after the dog came into their house, because it grossed me out. But I didn't freak out on Mr. King! I just threw the book across the room and then made sure I sold it for a whopping 25 cents at a garage sale. * shrugs * **

**This is a fun hobby for those of us who write fan fiction. We are just projecting our obviously twisted imaginations on to these already recognizable characters. It's fun! Just like reading fan fiction is. **

**So just try and keep that in mind if you flip out. PLEASE!!! Geeze!**

**Alright, I am getting off my soap box.**

**Love you guys!! I wish I could hug you all! Have a wonderful and safe holiday!! Dana xoxoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't own Twilight....I own my version of Jasper and he owns me, that's right, I said it!**

Chapter 11 JPOV

"Meeting me?" Bella's eyes were wide like a deer in the headlights.

I started to laugh.

"Why are you laughing!? How is that funny?" She couldn't help herself she started laughing too.

"You just looked so cute!"

It felt like a lifetime now that I was pining for her to be next to me.

I secured Bella in my arms.

Fuck she felt good.

She felt so delicate, so soft and warm. I breathed in the scent of her as I pushed my face into her scalp. Her thick chestnut hair gently tickling my skin.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. She began lightly playing with my chest hair. Slowly Bella's breathing became deep, I thought she had fallen asleep again until I felt a smile start to grace her lips as lay against my chest.

"Are you going to tell me?"

I should have known she would never let it go.

"I saw you first. Edward and I both liked you, but I was with Alice."

Bella brought her head up and rested her chin on my chest. She looked at me with those damn doe eyes full curiosity. "Fuck, you're beautiful." I said quietly.

"Don't change the subject. How often?" She asked with a smile.

"We fought a lot over you." I decided to be completely honest. She loved me, so maybe it would work. "I wanted you and couldn't grow some balls to steal you from him. I didn't want to fuck up everything."

She stared at me. Not in shock, more like she was thinking intently.

"What?"

"I would have gone with you."

"You would? Are you sure? You looked at Edward like he was a fucking Greek God. Every time I looked at you, you watched him." I smiled at her.

She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, she looked so sexy but fucking scary too. Damn!

"I looked at you the same way." Bella said, her voice slightly husky.

She ran her tongue over my right nipple and then across my chest to the left one.

She was driving me crazy. I moaned.

Bella stopped licking me and looked up into my eyes with a look of danger and a smirk on her face.

She rose up throwing her leg over my lap, straddling me and grinding her naked sex against my now growing erection. She raked her finger nails down my chest. "You just never looked at me at the right moment. Other wise you would have known I wanted you just as bad."

"Fuck baby." I whispered.

She crashed her lips to mine.

My dick was hard as titanium now. I reached down and angled towards Bella's entry. I pushed up and was fully sheathed inside her heat.

Bella pulled away from my lips and sat up so she was riding me. "Fuck Jasper!" Bella screamed.

I started moving my hips to meet her aggressive movements. I grabbed her hips and pulled her to me as my hips pushed upward. It felt like I was deeper inside her than I had ever been before. Fuck I was deeper in her than I had been in any woman.

Our groans were both entangled with cussing that neither of us could avoid.

We both fell over together and Bella fell on my chest with her long dark hair splayed out over my skin.

Both of us trying to regulate our breathing. I grabbed her by her arms and pulled her up to face me.

She rested her arms on my chest and folded her fingers together where she rested her chin. I pushed her hair out of her face to see her.

"You're mine now." I said.

"I think I was always yours Jasper." Bella said with a smile gracing her lips. "We just needed to get the others out of our system."

Smiling at her I thought about how Rosalie had told me the same thing after graduation.

I sat on a boulder watching Bella off past the bonfire talking to Edward by the surf.

He still refused to let Bella out of his sight.

"What're doing there baby brother?" Rosalie slurred as she tried to climb up the rock to sit next to me.

"I'm older in reality Rose." I smiled at her reminding her of our fraternal twin birthing status.

"As Whitlock's you're older than me, but as Hale's I am the wiser one." She giggled shooting her hand out so she wouldn't loose her balance.

"True. I forgot." I grabbed her outstretched hand to help her up.

Rose looked in the direction I was staring and frowned.

"So are you going to tell her that you love her?"

"It's too late."

"Why?" Rose practically screamed at me surprising herself in the process.

"She's in love with that prick. They will both become successful doctors. Then they'll get married and have three gorgeous little kids who will be total brats because they'll be like their father." With each word my voice caught volume.

"Damn, you thought this through!" She giggled, and then looked back at me in utter confusion. "Wait! Bella and Edward broke up Jasper."

I looked at my sister. "Edward didn't say that about them."

"He's lying. They broke up. Bella said that he's giant asshole. Like I didn't already know that."

"Oh really then why are they over there all over each other?" I pointed towards the water.

Edward and Bella were actually a couple feet apart with their arms moving, but I was depressed and I wanted to make myself feel worse. When it came to Bella I was a glutton for punishment.

"They look they're fighting to me." My sister stated the obvious.

"Where's Emmett?"

Rose shrugged. "Don't know, don't care. Where's Alice?"

"Same answer." I smiled at her.

Rose pointed back over to Bella and Edward.

"I will go get her over here right now! Just throw Bella over your shoulder and get all cave man on her ass. I bet she'd like it." Rose wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"No."

"God you're a pussy! She is the only one that has never figured out that you're in love with her! She's snowed by Edward and his load of bullshit. You have to tell her! She doesn't know."

"No!"

"Argh!" Rose grunted loudly. "She has no fucking clue Jasper!"

"I know. It's better this way." I said quietly.

"Bullshit! She's clueless about everything. It's not her fault though. Bella's just too trusting!"

I looked over where I had seen Bella and Edward earlier. He was still standing by the edge of the water looked down.

Bella was gone.

I decided to find out what happened. I got off the boulder and away from my sister's advice.

No I am not a nice guy. I just wanted to make sure he was as miserable as me.

"Hey man." I said as I got closer to Edward.

Edward looked up from the piece of drift wood he was kicking.

"What?" He sounded defeated.

"Did you break up with her?"

"Why?" He was instantly defensive. "Fuck Jasper! Our bed's not even cold and you're already gonna try and fuck her?"

"I don't blame you for thinking that. But no. I'm not going to try and fuck her." _Not yet anyway._

"Yeah right. Why not?" He chuckled without humor.

"I don't want to be the rebound guy."

Now he laughed. "Oh, of course, you need to be good guy."

I nodded and smiled.

I brought my hand over and slapped him on his shoulder. "Do ya blame me?" Now we were both laughing.

Edward and I were cut from the same fabric.

We were not nice guys.

Emmett could be if he wanted, but he preferred to be like us.

We could pretend for the girl we loved but that was not how we were made.

"Nah, I don't blame you. She's gone in a couple weeks anyway."

I nodded. "Come on lets get you a beer."

I really was going to wait. At least a couple weeks.

When I finally did work up the balls to call Bella, Chief Swan explained to me that Bella had gone to Colorado a couple days after graduation to start her freshman semester early.

I sat back in the chair and smiled. Fuckin' Cullen. Smart mother fucker, lied to me. Once again I couldn't blame him.

Later that week I hooked up with Emmett and Edward at his house. I decided to not bring up Bella's name again to Edward. He could think my thing for her was over. But I knew it never would be over. I was obsessed with Bella. Not seeing only made it worse.

"Alright, fuckers. We are single and about to leave for college. What should we do?" Emmett asked as we sat in Edward's basement drinking beer.

"We should keep doing this shit with girls." Edward suggested.

"What?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Fucking each other's girlfriends." He stated simply.

"That's true the chicks in college will be more willing to try crazy shit!" Emmett got excited.

"Yeah, like the high school girls were so opposed to the idea." I laughed.

They ignored me and kept working themselves up.

"Most of the girls would be okay with it, because we wouldn't all be going to that school so we wouldn't be fucking up their reputations and shit!" Emmett yelled. He and Edward knuckled bumped, then they both looked at me.

"You have to do this too. You're the only one that can get girls all calm and stuff." Edward explained.

"Oh really? Alice was always a basket case around me." I said laughing.

"Alice doesn't count. That chick was so high half the time she didn't know which way was up." Emmett said.

We all agreed to that.

"What happened to Alice anyway?" Edward asked me. I was pretty sure he already knew about everything. Alice had been so in love with him, she told him anything he wanted to hear.

"I don't know man. She went to California and said she isn't coming back." But that is all I would say.

"So how should we do this?" Emmett asked, completely ignoring the topic of Alice and Edward's and my exchange.

"As soon as we get girlfriends at school. We start the process." Edward always with the clinical talk.

"You never answered my question Jasper." Bella said bringing me out of my memory.

"Um. I forget shit when you fuck the hell out of me. What was the question you hot little vixen?"

Bella bit her lower lip and snuggled in closer to me.

"Tell me how many times you fought over me. This is making my ego grow exponentially."

She smiled at me and I couldn't help but laugh, she was too cute.

"We fought every time your name came up. Every single time. Until you left." I trailed off a little. "Once you went to school we didn't fight anymore."

She looked at me for a few seconds with wonder on her beautiful face. "Did you really love me then?"

"Yes."

"Why?" She looked like she didn't believe me now. "How you could you both love me? Fight over me? I was a nerd! I thought Edward was insane for wanting me at all." She sat up looking at me shocked.

I leaned on an elbow and smiled at her. The sweet girl was back, the sexy vixen had run away. I loved both of them equally.

"You were the prettiest little nerd I had ever seen."

"But!" I caught her mouth with mine and kissed her using my tongue to silence her disbelief. If she wouldn't believe my words, maybe she would believe my actions.

She pulled away to breath.

"I have wanted you since the minute I saw you Bella. Edward did too. He got you for awhile. But now you're mine now. Right?"

She looked at me her eyes innocent and sweet. "Yes. I'm all yours, Jasper."

A loud knock on her bedroom door broke us back into reality. It was the Hell Cat.

"Bella! Fuck can you get some air?" Victoria yelled and we both started laughing. "Don't you get all uppity Jasper! Pete is out here waiting for you. You have the key to the hotel room!"

"Oh shit!" I said quietly to Bella, and she started laughing.

"Why doesn't he have a key?" Bella asked and started laughing.

"It was another ten dollars for the deposit and neither of us was willing to pay for it." I explained.

"Bella!" The Hell Cat screamed and then groaned.

"Vic! We'll be out in a minute! Go take some Tylenol and shut up." Bella yelled.

"Okay, well don't yell. I have a bitch of a headache." The Hell Cat said as she walked away from Bella's door.

"Bella, I don't have any clean clothes."

"I have some sweats you can wear and I have a shirt." She went over to her dresser and got out the items. She handed them to me.

Bella didn't notice but the shirt had a name on it I had no desire to see this weekend.

"Bella, baby?" I held it up for her to see that it was Edward's old football jersey, with big bold letters that read CULLEN.

Bella's eyes widened and she grabbed the shirt from me. "Oops. Sorry Jasper!"

"Get rid of the shirt." I said with authority.

Bella threw the shirt into her hamper in the bathroom.

"God! Next time you see him are you guys going to have a pissing contest over me?" She said as she came out.

"Yes." I stated simply. "Now burn that shirt." I went over and grabbed it out the hamper and handed it back to her. "I'm serious."

She rolled her eyes at me and went for the door still holding the shirt.

I wasn't sure what Bella would do with it. Knowing her she would probably send it back to Edward. I didn't care as long as it was no longer in her possession then I would be happy.

I opted for no shirt and headed out of Bella's bedroom with the key for Peter.

I came around the corner and saw Hell Cat and Peter sitting on the couch. Bella and Peter were talking and agreeing on something while the Hell Cat moaned.

"Hey man." I said to Peter. "Where did you stay?"

"At my cousin's." He shook his head at me.

Bella walked into the kitchen after kissing me sweetly.

"Pete wants to go out to breakfast." Bella said from the kitchen, apparently a little too loud for the Hell Cat.

"God Bella! Why do you have to yell?" Victoria said in obvious pain.

"I'm not yelling Vic. I'm talking in my normal voice. Maybe you shouldn't drink so damn much your dumb ass." Bella came back out with a glass of tomato juice. She handed it to Victoria. "Now drink this you giant bitch and see how much better you feel."

"What is that?" I asked. Peter and I were just standing there watching these two's interaction.

"Spicy V8 and shot of frozen apple juice concentrate." Bella smiled as she explained it me.

"Why Spicy V8. Why do you put apple juice concentrate in it?" Peter asked just as fascinated as me.

"The V8 gives your body back the nutrients the alcohol sucked out of your body and the frozen apply juice concentrate is to help your stomach not reject it. So you won't throw up. It's a sure cure for a hangover." Bella skipped back into her kitchen. We looked back over at Victoria who was drinking the substance tentatively.

"It works okay." Victoria said to us quietly.

"So, you have a good time last night?" Peter asked me as we sat down.

"They had a great time. Frankly I am surprised Bella isn't walking bowlegged today." Victoria said as she see put her head back on the pillow behind her head. She was still holding the glass on her lap, most of the juice was gone.

Both Peter and I started laughing at her, but Bella wasn't quite as amused when she came back out.

"God Victoria! You are a bitch from Hell!"

Bella handed me another shirt. I looked at it. It was one I had worn the week before. I looked at Bella.

She nodded her head for me to follow her. I got up from the couch and followed her back to her bedroom.

"You left it here when you were in Colorado last weekend." Bella started. "It's not clean, but you didn't wear it that long last weekend."

I looked at her still a little confused.

"Jasper, it smelled like you. I didn't want to wash it, in case I never saw you again." She said to me while looking at her feet.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Yes she still had one of Edward's shirts but it wasn't his scent she was clinging to. It was mine.

I lifted her chin with my finger and looked into her beautiful eyes.

"Thank you baby." I kissed her gently. Pulling the shirt over my head. We headed back towards the living room.

"Are you coming Vic?" Bella asked her Hell Cat friend. "You want us to call James?"

Peter tapped Bella on the shoulder, and shook his head mouthing "no".

"Why?" She whispered back.

"He's still pissed at me Bella." Victoria said in a loud voice.

"Oh. Do you want to come Vic?"

Victoria started to stand up and nodded at us.

I had to admit I actually liked Hell Cat. She was crazy a crazy chick. It was also obvious that Bella and her were close like sisters and that made me smile. Bella had once mentioned she was lonely as an only child.

We all hopped into our rental car and headed to an IHOP for breakfast.

While we were laughing and still making fun of Victoria when my phone buzzed. I looked it was Edward. I looked over at Bella, and decided to ignore it. He didn't need to be part of this. There was every guarantee now that I was with Bella, he would pull the same shit I did, only he would do it with her. He loved to manipulate her and make her feel guilty. I wasn't sure if he still had that kind of control over her. But he could.

It was an interesting breakfast. Bella gave me a hand-job through my sweats and Victoria and Peter seemed to have a lot in common. I could tell by the way Peter was looking at her he really liked Victoria. I asked him about it when Bella and Victoria went to the bathroom.

"Dude! What the fuck? She's your cousin's girlfriend. Didn't you already know her anyway?"

"Yeah. We met last summer at our grandfather's birthday party. But James and her were all wrapped up in each other so I didn't get a chance to talk to her!" He looked at me with pleading eyes. "What am I gonna do? She's perfect!"

"That's your cousin's woman!" I said with a little laughter in my voice.

He was in deep shit.

"Aw, shit man! I fuckin love redheads!" This was news to me. He always dated blonds before.

Peter fell hard for girls and always seemed to get his heart beaten out of him. His last girlfriend Charlotte had left him for another woman and he was torn up about it. Why he would deliberately put himself in a position like this was beyond me. Never mind! I fucking did this shit too.

"Dude, we are both a couple masochists." I said to him.

"James is so pissed at her right now he's moving!" He looked around to make sure Bella and the Hell Cat weren't walking back yet. "She's probably going to move back in with Bella."

"Well I want to move in with Bella too." I smiled at him.

"You talked about this?"

"Nope."

"Shit, maybe I could transfer up here too. You and me could get a place and then we'd just date them."

"Whoa, you haven't even talked to her about dating and she even ain't single yet!" I practically yelled. "Fuck, you move too fast with chicks they are goin' to bolt!" I started laughing at him.

"What's so funny?" Bella came back to the table and scooted close to me in the booth.

"Peter wants Victoria bad." I smiled and whispered in her ear.

"Really?" She mouthed to me and then she smiled.

I nodded and she smiled. We continued whispering in each others ears to conduct our conversation. I looked over at Peter and the Hell Cat, they looked pretty wrapped up in their conversation too.

"James broke up with her." Bella whispered in my ear.

"When?"

"James left a message on her cell phone this morning. Told her not to come back over if he was there. He was going to quit CU and move to Maine or something."

I looked over at Victoria again.

"She doesn't seem to be all that broken up about it." I chuckled.

Bella smiled and leaned back up to my ear. "She isn't. James is a little overbearing."

_Overbearing. Now that's a bad thing right?_

"So is she going to move in with you?" I asked.

"For now. If James really moves she wants that house."

I smiled at her.

"Good, because when I transfer up here. I want to move in."

Bella slowly turned her head to look in my eyes. A small smile started to grace her lips.

"Really?" She whispered but not in my ear.

"Is that okay?"

I already knew the answer from her beautiful smile she was throwing at me.

"Yes. I would love that."

"Me too." I said.

Our weekend progressed nicely. We weren't alone anymore that was the only downside. But I really did like Victoria. And Peter was in love.

Peter, Bella, and I helped Victoria move her belongings out of the house she had shared with James.

Edward called three more times, I ignored each call.

Surprisingly, Peter only went back to our hotel room late into the night and was back early to spend more time with Victoria.

Peter and I left on Monday morning. Both Bella and Victoria skipped their morning classes to take us to the airport. Victoria rode with Peter in our rental car while I drove Bella's truck again.

"Alright, I can't come next weekend, but I can come the week after." Bella stated while she was looking at her day timer.

"So you're coming to me this next time?"

"Yep! It's only fair." She said as she smiled at me.

"Is Vic coming?"

"That is between her and Pete. I think she likes him a lot though."

"Well, I know he likes her." I smiled at her. "I'm just glad that I'm leaving with you smiling and not cryin'."

Bella unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over the seat to kiss my cheek. "Me too."

Peter and I left our Colorado women at the North side of Denver International Airport and flew back to Texas.

He wouldn't stop talking about Victoria the entire flight, and asked me to please stop referring to her as "Hell Cat". Pete felt it was disrespectful.

I had to laugh at the fool then. "You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!" I said through my laughter.

Peter actually pouted. "You're fucked dude. That is family!"

"I know." He said in defeat. Yeah, he's gone.

When we landed I got my phone out of my back pack, my girl had called me twice and left a voice message. This was not a voice message that I had been hoping for. My girl was pissed, and I wanted to kill.

"Jasper! Don't be mad at me. This is not my fault!" She sounded very angry. I continued listening, "Edward is here. At my house!"

**AN- Don't you throw those tomatoes you are eying! I'm wearing white! **

**So? What did you think? I love Jasper.**

**I hope you guys had a great holiday!! Mine sucked. First year divorcee...missing my munchkins! I'm soooo sad!! Okay, enough belly aching. Now! Review this bitch and make me smile!**

**I have pimpin to do...**

**.net/s/5560977/1/ Saving Bella **

**.net/s/5455871/1/ Chances**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer- If I owned Twilight there would have been more kissing and there would have been an actual sex scene in Breaking Dawn. Also, I would have had Bella and Jasper hook up. But alas, I don't, so I do it in the fics instead. Also, if you don't like the stuff I just described, don't read this. It will mess with your morals and you will never get them back...I promise **

*** smirks ***

_**Warning- Reference to illegal substances and underage alcohol consumption in this chapter.**_

Chapter 12

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked Victoria as we were heading back to Boulder after dropping off Jasper and Pete at the airport.

"You're in love." _No Shit Sherlock. _She had her arms wrapped around her legs like she was cold sitting in the passenger seat of my Toyota.

"Okay, so it's that obvious." I said matter of factly.

"Yes my dear it is. He's hot as hell and cool, so I approve." Victoria said.

"Well thank you. I am so glad you approve, I know my choices were not popular with you before." I laughed. "Now what is your problem why are you all huddled up on yourself over there?"

"I like Pete."

"Well I don't blame you he's cute." I knew she was worried about how it looked. Who the hell was I to judge anyone?

"But he's James' cousin. They were like really close too. And now Pete is _like I will never talk to James again for the way he talked to you._" Victoria did a spot on imitation of a Texas accent.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"I feel like I am destroying a family or something."

"They're cousins not brothers."

"Bella you're an only child who was the only child of only children. You don't understand the dynamics of family."

"Oh really, well enlighten me then."

I turned onto Sycamore and was immediately doubting my eyesight.

"Who is that?"

"Oh no!"

"Bella? Who is that gorgeous piece of ass standing on your porch?"

I pulled into my driveway, and said again, "Oh no!"

Victoria just looked at me as I stared at him. She looked back at him. "Do you want me to mace him?"

"That's Edward."

"The ex from high school and the orgy?"

"God would you stop bringing that up!"

"No because I am still fascinated and now that I am single I am going to do it too." She laughed, "Come on;, introduce me to your high school sweetheart." With that she hopped out of my truck and went directly over to him to start questioning who he is.

I pulled out my cell and dialed Jasper's number. The shock had worn off and now I was pissed. Who the hell does he think he is? Just showing up at my house. Only and I mean only Jasper Hale can pull that kind of crap!

I left Jasper my message, although I wasn't really sure if it conveyed my true feelings, which was totally pissed.

Edward in all of his pompousness decided to come to my driver's side door to help me out.

"Hey Bella." His voice sounded like milk chocolate being poured through silk. _Fuck_! _You're an idiot!_ I screamed at myself.

"Don't you have classes?" I asked him as he offered me his hand to get out of the truck. I ignored his hand and got out on my own.

"Is that any way to greet me?"

"Are you serious? Why are you here Edward?"

"I wanted to see you!"

"No you wanted to pull your weird little game on me." I started for my front door and stopped in my tracks. I turned back to face him. "How did you even know where I live? I never gave anybody from home my address here."

"Your dad gave it to me. I called him last week." Edward had the decency to look a little guilty.

"Why would my dad give you the address though?"

"I told him I needed it to send you a Valentine's Day present."

"It's not Valentine's yet." Victoria said standing by the front door watching the show.

Edward looked at Victoria and shrugged.

Victoria turned and unlocked the door to go inside, Edward looked like he wanted to follow her.

"Why are you here?" I asked stopping him. That was my sanctuary. Jasper would be able to trust me.

"Are you with Jasper now?" Edward asked.

"Yes. And don't answer my questions with another question."

"Why him?"

"Edward aren't you going to get in trouble for not being in school?"

"It'll be fine. I'll make up the classes I miss. I just needed to see you."

"We haven't been together in three years!" I yelled.

"We were together a couple weeks ago." Edward had a look of desperation on his perfect face.

"That doesn't count!"

"Why does it count for Jasper and not for me? You and I were in love."

"Not two weeks ago we weren't!"

"I have never gotten over you." He stated and then sat down on the stoop.

"Edward, this isn't fair." I pouted. I stayed standing.

"Why him Bella?" Edward tried to grab my hand. I backed up. "He's not good enough for you."

"That is a terrible thing to say."

"Not when you know everything he did to try and get you away from me."

I took a deep breath. "He already told me, Edward. Jasper told me about how he fought with you over me." I wanted to add that he still made no sense to me, because I was like a scared little mouse when I first met them so why would either of them have been interested in me anyway. But I didn't ask.

"He made me miserable Bella. I always thought he was going to try and steal you from me."

"You sound paranoid." I sat down next to him.

"I was paranoid. Shit Bella, you were my girlfriend. I knew he had a thing for you from the very beginning. That very first night you and I were together he started his shit."

I stood up and faced Edward.

"I don't care. This is why you flew here? To rehash stuff that happened so long ago?"

"No, I wanted to see you." He looked desperate.

"No you didn't, if you really wanted to see me you wouldn't have manipulated and lied to my dad to get my address!"

Edward stood up and held his hands up in surrender. "Come on Bella. I would do anything to get near you. Anything."

His last statement said it all. Too bad I forgot about it again as soon as he spoke again.

"Let me take you out tonight."

_What!?_

"No Edward. I am dating Jasper." I said with disgust coating my words.

"Dating." Edward laughed mockingly. "Come on that guy doesn't know how to date, Bella. He will fuck you until he's bored then just walk away." Edward's voice dripped with venom. "You are a conquest to him Bella. Nothing more."

I could feel my eyes burning. The blood pumping felt like fire. I wanted to cry.

"But I have never stopped loving you Bella." Edward took a step closer while I backed away.

"I need you to leave Edward. Go home. Go to school. Just leave me alone."

"Alright, I'll go, Baby. But just remember what I told you." He leaned in to look directly in my eyes. "I'll be around after he's done with you. Because I still love you."

I watched Edward walk back over to a black sedan obviously a rental car that was parked across the street from my house. He looked back over to me one more time and nodded then he drove away.

I stood there like I was frozen on my front lawn.

I jumped when Victoria came out and tapped my shoulder.

"Geeze Bella! Are you alright?" She pulled her arm around my waist.

"Yeah."

We went inside.

"I listened to a little of the conversation. Are you okay?"

I sat down on my couch and Mr. Mustachio jumped in my lap and started kneading.

"He's probably right."

"What?"

"That Jasper is just using me."

Victoria raised her eyebrows. "Is that what he was saying to you out there? I thought he wanted you back."

I nodded.

"Why would he fly all the way out here to tell you another guy is using you? Especially one of his best friends." She asked in disbelief.

"Why would he fly out here anyway?" I asked.

"Well maybe one of them is playing you, but I don't think it's Jasper. He looks at you like the freakin' sun rises and sets because of you."

"Then why would Edward fly all the way out here? Just to lie to me?" I asked incredulously.

"I don't know. He probably wants you back. He looked like he was pretty desperate too."

"Why would either of them want me at all?"

"Jesus Bella! This one little thing and then you doubt everything about yourself. Are you crazy?"

_Little thing! My ex just flew 2000 miles to talk to me and tell me he still loved me and the guy I am in love with is just using me!_

"No!"

"Why can't they both just be interested in you? And you're the one that said that Jasper wanted you in high school. So here is the scenario as I see it." She wiggled herself closer to the edge of the chair to emphasize her theory for me. "Edward the Ex is probably trying to get revenge for the way Jasper the Current fucked with him in school or they both want you. Either way, you are still with Jasper. So what difference does it make? Jasper's the one you always wanted anyway! You win either way!"

I let out a groan. "How long was he here?"

"Who?" Victoria asked

"Edward." I answered quietly. I closed my eyes.

"About an hour. That cracks me up that you didn't even let him in!"

I ignored her. _I doubt it went unnoticed by Edward either. But I couldn't do that to Jasper. When he told me that he wanted to move in with me, I believed him. This place, my house feels like our home now._

"It's too late to make it to BioChem. I am just going to take a nap." I said.

"Okay Baby doll, I gotta go to a study group in an hour. I am going to take a shower, think about Pete and pray that I never have your issues. Who knew dating two cousins would be easier than two best friends? I will see you tonight."

She hopped up and headed for the bathroom in the hallway.

"God you are a bitch from Hell!" I yelled and heard her laugh from the bathroom.

I picked up Mr. Mustachio and headed towards my bedroom.

I grabbed the pillow that Jasper had been using and hugged it close. Underneath it was Jasper's shirt that I had kept the week before folded with a note inside the neck.

I pulled out the sticky note and read. "Dream about me. J."

I sat up and pulled the sweat shirt I was wearing off and put Jasper's shirt on. Having his scent enveloping me was bound to take away the bad feelings from earlier that Edward had dropped off. I laid back down and hugged the pillow close again and fell asleep.

"_Bella! Hurry up we gotta go! The guys are going to pick us up in a half hour for the senior party!" Alice screamed at me from inside her bedroom._

"_Alice_ _I cannot wear this it's too skimpy and the dang shoes are gonna kill me!" I yelled back from her bathroom._

"_That's it! I am coming in." Alice said with authority._

_Alice walked in just as she threatened to see me in the black wrap shirt that was much too revealing, the stonewashed tight hip hugging skinny jeans, and the black high heeled open toed shoes she insisted that I borrow from her mother._

"_What is the problem? Oh shit! You look amazing!" She squealed looking me up and down._

"_Come on Alice! I can not wear this to the party!"_

"_What are you so worried about? Is Edward going to flip a lid because you are showing a little skin?"_

"_No." He actually might like it._

"_God he's not your father Bella. You can't let him dictate everything." Alice said._

"_He doesn't dictate everything. If I don't like something he respects me."_

"_Yeah right." Alice mumbled from behind me as she pulled the shirt making it even tighter around my __chest and waist._

_I was starting to feel my heart sink as Rosalie walked into Alice's bedroom._

"_Hey girls! I got us some herbs." Rosalie yelled from the other room._

_Oh no! More pot. I become so stupid on that stuff. _

_I walked out of Alice's bathroom to see Rosalie and Alice rolling the cigarettes._

"_Oh Bella! You look beautiful!" Rosalie exclaimed as I came out of the bathroom. _

"_I don't know I feel weird." I whined to them._

_Rosalie hopped off the bed and came over to me, she turned me around, and started playing with my hair. "God, you have the most beautiful hair." She whispered to herself._

_The most beautiful girl on the planet was envious of my hair! _

"_We are only seniors once. We gotta make a splash and show all those bitches who owns the school." Alice said from the bed._

"_Tonight is our right of passage Bella. Seniors. We are dating the three hottest guys in school, we are the most beautiful girls this school has ever had gracing it's halls so we have to make a statement. Tonight!" Rosalie exclaimed as she finished pinning my hair half up and half down giving me a ponytail look that started from the top of my head that settled in the middle of my back. She kept picking at the curls to make them more pronounced._

_Rosalie grabbed my shoulder turned me around and smiled at me._

"_You are still so shy Bella. I don't understand why. You're gorgeous and smart! Edward and a few others I know about are so madly in love with you they can't even see straight half the time..." _

_Rosalie trailed off and I heard Alice mumble something to herself about "all the guys are in love with sweet little Bella"._

_With the three of us dressed like we were heading to a club instead of Mike Newton's house for a party we headed downstairs to wait for our guys._

"_Rosie, Bella you guys wanna do something fun tonight?" Alice asked mischievously._

"_Hell yeah!" Rosalie exclaimed._

_They both turned to look at me, so I nodded. The little follower I was wasn't changing tonight._

_Alice pulled a book from the bookshelf in her father's study and opened it exposing several baggies filled with different colored pills, another one with a white powder, and yet another with little pieces of foil. The book was a hollowed out version of Norman Vincent Peale's The Power of Positive Thinking. I was immediately struck by the irony of Alice hiding her drugs in the book of a man that based his entire career on assisting people find solutions to their problems through clean living and scripture. _

_She grabbed the baggy with the small pieces of foil._

"_What is it?" I asked tentatively._

"_Ecstasy." Alice said smiling at me._

"_Come on Bella! It's not like I'm asking you to shoot up or something." Alice scolded me with real anger in her eyes._

"_Calm down Mary Alice. Geeze!" Rosalie snapped back at Alice in defense of me._

_Alice_ _went back to her task. Grabbing six of the pieces of foil and putting them in her pocket._

"_Maybe we should take ours now." Rosalie suggested._

"_You want too?" Alice looked at her with a huge smile. "We'll totally freak them out!"_

_Rosalie started nodding excitedly and then she turned towards me. "Come on Bella. It'll be fun."_

"_What does it do?" I asked finally._

"_Makes you happy and horny!" Alice said smiling at me._

_Once again I stepped in line with my friends like the good little sheep I was and took the small sticker out of the foil and stuck it on the tip of my tongue like Alice and Rosalie did. _

_Then I waited._

_Waited for the guys._

_Waited for the drug to do what the girls told me it would do._

_When the guys showed up I was beginning to see giant happy faces in my peripheral vision every ten seconds or so. Which made me look ridiculous because I kept whipping my head around._

_Edward was in front of me looking quizzical before we could go into Mike's house._

"_Alright, wait a minute. What is wrong with you? Why are you so jumpy Baby?" He asked._

_I couldn't help myself it was like my brain was on over drive. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him to me. I kissed him with all the passion I could muster in that moment. Edward kissed me back and snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me off my feet a little._

_We pulled apart only when people were passing by making comments, such as, "get a room!" "damn it's still early you guys gonna fuck already?"_

"_Whoa Baby! Where is this coming from?" Edward whispered in my ear and chuckled. His arms were __still securely around my waist but he was splaying his fingers over my ass._

"_What don't you like it?" I asked innocently._

_We were still on the porch but now further away from the Newton's front door._

"_Hell yeah I like it! But what is going on?" _

"_Alice_ _gave us something for us to have some fun tonight." I smiled._

"_What? Are you on X or something?" Edward took his hands from my waist and ran his hand through his hair like he always did when he got frustrated._

_A happy face appeared and off to the side and I looked._

"_Baby, you are the lightest weight on the planet! When did you take the hit?"_

"_Um like a half hour before you guys picked us up."_

"_Shit." He looked disappointed._

"_Are you mad? Do you wanna take some too?"_

"_No, I'm not mad Bella. But you can't handle this stuff." He looked around and then he mumbled, "I told Alice not to give you any of that shit anymore."_

"_Why?"_

_He put his left arm around my waist again. "Why what?" He leaned in so I could smell his breath. _

_I forgot the question and kissed him again._

_Edward broke the kiss and leaned his forehead on mine, "I need to get you home before you start freakin' out." He smiled._

"_No I got all dressed up for you." I protested._

_Edward took a step back to look me up and down while holding my hands and pulling them up and out, he smiled wide. "You look beautiful, too beautiful, and since you are all dressed up for me, I want to be the only one that enjoys you."_

_I started to giggle and he brought me into his chest and hugged me._

"_Fuck!" Someone yelled from behind Edward. Edward turned and took me with him in the turn._

"_Is she high too?" Emmett asked Edward about me. Emmett and Jasper looked angry._

"_Very." Edward answered but kept me snuggly against his chest. I was still seeing those happy faces everywhere and now they were closer._

"_Dammit." Jasper said. I looked over at him. Our eyes locked. "What the fuck is wrong with her?" Jasper asked._

"_Nothing is wrong with me." I said insulted by the accusation. Edward let me out of grip a little and then all three of them were laughing at me._

"_Not you darlin', Alice for giving you and Rosie that shit." Jasper said with his husky and beautiful baritone voice._

_Edward pulled me back against his chest and I noticed Jasper had his eyes glued to where Edward's would be. They seemed to be having a silent conversation._

"_Fine I fucking sold the rest!" Alice said as she came barreling out of the house. "Happy?"_

"_No I am not happy Alice!" Emmett yelled, "Now where the hell is Rosie?"_

"_I don't know I lost her in there someplace." Alice retorted._

"_Did you even take any?" Jasper asked._

"_Yeah, I took a hit; you know that shit doesn't affect me that much. I would have to have two hits to even get a buzz. Hey, is she okay?"_

"_No, she isn't." Edward told her menacingly. _

_I tried to move so I could talk to Alice but his hold on me got tighter around me. He kissed the top of my head._

"_Fucking Mike Newton, Rosalie!" Emmett voice boomed from the front door again. I hadn't even realized he left. I turned to see that he was dragging Rosalie by her wrist out of the house._

"_Alright. So we're leaving now, right?" Jasper asked._

"_Yes, let's get the girls home." Edward said._

"_Why can't we go to the cabin Edward?" Alice asked._

"_Because I don't know how Bella is going to react to this shit, Alice! Fuck, how could you give her that?"_

"_She's not completely helpless Edward! She's a big girl." Alice snarled and I heard her walk away._

_I looked up at Edward still seeing the happy faces surrounding me, but I really wanted to see his eyes._

_He smiled down at me._

"_I know you're not helpless, Baby. I just like taking care of you." _

_I smiled and he kissed me sweetly. "But no more X. Alright?"_

_I nodded. Edward grabbed my hand and led me toward Emmett's SUV._

_The arguing in the SUV was deafening so I simply snuggled against Edward's chest while everybody fought around me. _

"_Is your dad home tonight?" Edward whispered in my ear._

"_Nope." I said popping the P. The smile that spread across his face made me weak in the knees and I completely forgot about the happy faces and arguing that surrounded me._

_Emmett dropped Edward and me off at my house. It seemed the Edward and I were going to have a good night, but Alice was in trouble with all three guys, and Rosalie had apparently been making out with Mike Newton at the party, she was in for a long night with Emmett._

_Edward grabbed my house key and opened the front door for me._

"_Tell me why you keep looking around." He asked._

"_Um, there are happy faces that keep moving back and forth and keep surrounding me."_

_Edward shook his head and chuckled. "Do you need anything?" He probably asked it innocently enough but I was starting to feel the effects of then horniness that Alice had told me about earlier._

_I walked over to him and crashed my lips to his which apparently made him loose his footing and we went down hard onto the couch._

"_Baby." he said in between me kissing him and needing to breath. "Let__'__s go upstairs. You're dad will kill me if he catches me."_

_I started laughing; I grabbed his hand and walked with him leading him upstairs to my bedroom._

_When we got to my bedroom Edward immediately laid on my bed, he was so tall his feet almost came over the bottom._

_I turned off the over head light and turned on my little lamp on my desk and my radio putting on Liz Phair. My plan was to do a strip tease for him. Except that I couldn't figure out wear Alice had tied the damn shirt._

_Edward started laughing. "Come here beautiful. I don't need you to do that." He said, and I walked over to him. Edward started to unhook me from the shirt. He got it undone opening the front of it and running his hands over my lace covered breasts to my stomach and then to the zipper of my jeans. He looked up to me face._

"_You're the beautiful one." I said._

_Edward reached behind me and unhooked my bra and then helped me out of my jeans._

"_No, I am a cold hearted piece of shit that doesn't deserve to have a girl as sweet as you. But because I am so cold hearted, I will take every moment I can with you. Every single second you let me."_

_I was completely nude standing in front of him as he started to roam his hands over my skin. The gentle touch was giving me goose__bumps. Edward's hands went around behind me and he pulled me closer bringing my breasts even to his face where he buried himself and began kissing and nibbling on my sensitive skin. _

_His fingers started to explore my ass moving in and out of the crack, and lower causing me to move closer. My hands started to run through his thick glorious hair. Edward's hands moved lower and grabbed the inside of my thighs causing a moan to escape from me. Edward's green eyes flashed to mine filled with need and want. He pulled my thighs apart and brought me to straddle his still clothed lap._

_Edward gently ran his teeth over my nipples, exploring each breast evenly. He then turned his body and started to slowly lower me to the bed. I grabbed his cheeks and brought his lips to meet mine. _

_He pulled away to stand and start taking off his clothes._

"_I love you Edward." I said quietly._

_As he removed his shirt he went to hover over me again, he kissed me deeply and started working down my neck. He brought his face back up to mine. "I love you too, Bella." _

_In my drug induced haze I was starting to get impatient at this slow progress and I reached his jeans in an attempt to relieve him of that denim barrier._

_Edward chuckled and stood up and away from me. "Baby just let me take my time." He said still smiling at me._

"_But I am dying here." I whined._

_That made him chuckle again. "Oh I know you are Baby." Edward finally unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down. _

_I wasn't completely in control of myself and let out a groan. My knees were hanging off the edge of the bed, while the rest of my body was screaming for him to touch me as I lie on the bed._

_I looked up when I heard the condom wrapper open and watched him put it on his straining cock._

_Finally he moved himself back to me using his knees to push my legs apart. Then his hands creeping up the inside of my thighs. With slow amazing pressure his thumb started working my clit causing me to jump at the sensation. At then point when I was about to explode he moved his hand away. Edward brought his hands around my backside pulling me closer to the edge of the bed then he pushed himself inside of me quickly, He immediately started to pull himself out and slowly back in. The long strokes and deliberate pressure on my ass bringing me closer to him with each push. _

_My name on his lips interlaced with grunts only added to my undoing. I felt the pressure inside start to bubble up causing me to scream Edward's name. He followed soon after and fell onto my chest to catch his breath._

_I started to run my fingers through his hair and as I did he opened his eyes._

"_I want you to be with me forever Bella. I will never let you go." The words sounded beautiful to a seventeen year old girl in love with her boyfriend. _

But as the buzzing that was hammering on my dresser woke me. I realized I wasn't in Forks anymore and I most certainly wasn't with Edward. I was alone on my bed with a fat cat snoring on the other side of the pillow that I was clinging to. Smelling a totally different man's scent than I thought I would be.

I picked up my cell phone and saw that I had missed Jasper's call.

I hit re-dial and waited.

"Bella?" Jasper answered, "Is that piece of shit still there?"

"No. I'm sorry I forgot to call back after he left."

"Are you okay? Did anything happen?"

My heart sank. _Nothing happened in reality. But the fact that I just had a sex dream about him while cuddled up to your pillow makes me a giant asshole!_

"No, nothing happened. He wanted to talk about us getting back together."

Silence.

"Jasper?"

"Are you?"

"Of course not! I told him I was with you!"

"Wonder why he came all that way just to do that?"

Jasper sounded cold and heartless. Like he did two weeks ago after he told me about Edward and Emmett coming to Colorado.

"Why are you asking me? You need to ask him this crap." I was about ready to cry.

Where was the kind guy that left just this morning? Where was the one I was in love with?

Everything they told me about the other, one way or another turned out to be true. My heart belonged to Jasper, so hearing him talk to me this way was breaking my heart.

"I didn't even give him my address Jasper. He tricked my dad into giving it to him."

Silence.

"I am not going to defend myself for this shit! This is not my fault!" I screamed into the phone. I started to cry and even if I wanted to stop it I didn't think I could.

I began blubbering even more, scaring Mr. Mustachio into running out of the room.

"You two enjoy this don't you? Fucking with my head! My heart!"

Still no response from the peanut gallery. Jasper wasn't talking. His silence was deafening.

I give up. I can't fight for something that really isn't mine anymore.

"Goodbye Jasper." I hung up the phone, I was about to turn it off when it buzzed again.

Jasper.

Jackass.

"What do you want?" I said into the phone.

"Everything!"

**AN- Oh, I see you still have those dang tomatoes. Well um...**

*** runs out of the thread * That wasn't too bad was it??**

**Read TwistedforTwilight Finding Forgiveness! It is Fabulous!!! Jasper is so fine in that one and Finding Relief!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A big fat kiss to mai buddy mynxi for betaing me....I need it so bad! But she is doing this in between her writing her amazing story Saving Bella. **

_Dur...I don't own it. I do own a really awesome skillet, but I don't cook. Dangit!_

Song for this chapter is Everything by Lifehouse.

Chapter 13

"Everything!" Jasper said quickly. "And don't you hang up on me again!"

"I'll do whatever the hell I want to Jasper."

He chuckled, "Yeah, that's only because I am fucking pussy whipped."

"Whatever."

"Whatever? Baby don't throw me to the wolves so damn fast alright! Now, what did that piece of shit say to you?" He asked quietly.

"I don't want to talk about him."

"He said shit about me huh? Hold on second..." I heard him mumbling to another person. Probably Pete.

I waited for Jasper to come back on the line.

"Babe, you still there?"

"Yeah..." I answered pointedly.

"Do you know if he went back to Pennsylvania?"

"I have no freakin idea where that jerk went. And I don't care."

"Tell me what he said." Jasper demanded.

"Are you going to be mad?"

I listened to Jasper let out a long breath, "Was he near you? Was he speaking to you? Was that fucker trying to get you under him?"

Well damn! I wasn't expecting that.

"I didn't ask." I said quietly trying to joke. I knew in the next second that it had not worked.

"Don't even start trying to joke Bella. That guy thinks you are his personal property and he comes there when he knows I am not there to try and steal you away from me..."

"Is this just jealousy or worse a rivalry? I mean what the hell am I to you guys? A freakin prize!"

_Jasper kept moving around, his mouth would drop away from the phone and he sounded like he was mumbling. Or worse it was a constant rustling sound. Like walking through dried leaves. I needed to hear him if I couldn't see him!_

"It's a rivalry I guess." Jasper said. _Oh sweet Lord in Heaven, now I wanted him here so I could smack him!_

"I am not a damn prize Jasper."

"You said that, I didn't. I never said you were a prize" That probably sounded meaner then he had intended but the sting was still present on my heart.

_God I would give anything to see his eyes. Those storm blue eyes that told me everything I needed to know. His voice without the benefit of his eyes was too confusing. Jasper couldn't lie as long as I could see his eyes._

"I feel like a tennis ball." I whispered. I actually didn't want him to hear.

He did though.

"A tennis ball? Why?" Laughter in his voice.

"This is a match between you and Edward on a huge tennis court that was either Forks or the Midwest of the United States of America, but all I am is the damn ball. There needs to be a winner."

"You are not the ball and you are not the prize Bella. God damn. You're my girlfriend. Right?"

"Yes."

"Then you shoulda' kicked his ass out a your house to the curb!" Jasper spoke with determination.

"He never came in the house."

The rustling from the phone stopped. He had either stopped walking or stop fidgeting. Either way my brain was so thankful.

"Really?" He asked in disbelief.

I slammed myself back onto my pillows. Making a "humph" sound.

"Really! You giant dick weed."

He chuckled. Those eyes I could imagine and that mouth laughing. I was going to need to get batteries for BOB later.

"I would never do that to you." I said sincerely.

I listened to him breathe for a few seconds. At least it wasn't silence.

"I'm glad baby. I guess I knew you wouldn't." Jasper spoke quietly.

_Oh really now?_

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. I miss you. The shit that was going through my head after I heard he was there. Fuck!" He took a deep breath.

"I love you Jasper."

"Baby, I love you too. I will be coming to see you again real soon. So move that damn cat into Hell Cat's room."

We laughed for a few seconds and then he had to go.

After we hung up I closed my eyes to visualize Jasper so far away.

I pictured him standing by random cars in a sunny parking lot by the airport. It was all imaginary, since I have never been to Texas. But there he would be in all of his angelic beauty looking like a damn sin in dark blue jeans and a white thermal shirt that he was wearing this morning. Both pieces of clothing hugged his muscles and his amazing curves it was driving me insane.

I was so jealous of those damn clothes.

Rational thought be damned!

That man drove me crazy with need. Edward was nice, I guess, when I was a kid. But I never knew what it felt like to be truly wanted until I was with Jasper.

Jasper's eyes stung me like a bee. They pierced my soul. Damn, they always had. His touch was electric to my skin. He was all I would ever want. But being a good girl meant more than getting what I wanted when I was younger. Now that I had it, I would be damned if I let it go! I stayed with Edward because I was a good girl. He promised me the world but showed me nothing beyond the beds we shared. Jasper was willing to throw his life into a wood chipper and see what came out the other side. He was transferring to Colorado and moving in with me. For me. For him. For us.

Then it hit me!

Fuck Edward Mason Cullen!

God how could I have been so blind? Edward was an evil little shit for the stunt he pulled today. I was ready to give him the benefit of the doubt because I am a moron!

My last dream wasn't about love and caring. He told me he would never let me go. Jasper was right Edward thought of me as property.

He had never made contact with me after we broke up, until he saw that Jasper wanted me. It was the same in high school; he didn't even know I existed until Jasper came to town. Apparently Jasper's want for me started before I even met him.

"What is Edward's obsession with Jasper?" I asked Mr. Mustachio, who had jumped back on the bed and forgiven me for scaring the fur from him.

"Poor little guy. Living with me is a big hair ball isn't it? Don't worry Mr. Mustachio remember when I told you that I wanted Jasper to be your daddy? Well he is now." I told the cat who was now lying on my favorite pillow. "You love him too huh?"

Victoria came in around ten after a full day of classes. I was seated on the couch with all my text books and homework that I didn't get done over the weekend surrounding me.

"There was a moving truck in front of Whohah's house this afternoon." I told her as she came in and crashed on the couch next to me.

"Who the hell is Whohah?"

"James, you freak of nature." We called guys that when we thought they acted like wimps, or pussies to be more accurate.

"Oh, shit. He really is moving? Thank God! I was going to have to take his Utopias class next semester." She laughed.

"Well it looks like he's gone. Anybody that would break up via voice mail is a total dick." I said.

"You bet your ass. So how was your afternoon? Did you take a nap? Did crazy ex with the great ass show up again?" She was obviously excited by my now exciting life.

"Fine. Yes. No."

"Did you talk to Jasper about the crazy ex with the great ass? Although Jasper has a fine ass as well."

"Yes we talked."

"Fuck this is like pulling teeth!" She said in frustration. "Did you fight? Was he all jealous or did you have phone sex?"

Victoria was staring at me with wild eyes.

I looked over at her from my text book. "What?"

"Are you and Jasper okay? It had to have driven him nuts knowing that his one major rival for your affections was here and he wasn't here to protect you or _watch_." She smirked.

I leaned back with my mouth gaped.

"What?" She shrugged.

"How did you know all this and I was completely clueless?"

"Um, because you're a genius. And the smarter someone is with books is in direct correlation with how stupid they are in relationships. It's a scientific fact. The only difference is that you have actually been in tune with your emotions, probably because of what happened to your mother. You always look to try and save other people from pain even if you don't realize it. But you're still pretty obtuse when it comes to men and relationships."

I was still pretty stunned. "I thought you said I was like a guy."

"You are. That's a whole nother part of your problem baby doll. But that obviously happened after the crazy ex worked you over so damn good in high school."

"I am never going to be right in the head am I?"

"Probably not. But the good news is Jasper is just as fucked up as you are." She slapped me on the shoulder and laughed. "So you two should be pretty blissful and fucked your entire relationship."

"You're making all this up aren't you?" I asked with a smile growing on my lips.

"Nope. Sorry baby doll." She said happily hopping up and heading towards her bedroom.

I decided to call Jasper. I missed him like crazy and Victoria with her theories was not helping in the least.

My call went straight to voice mail. So I left a message.

"Hey Jazzy. I just wanted to talk to you for a little while before I headed to bed. But I guess you are asleep or whatever. So I miss you...a lot, and I love you. Bye."

God I hate talking on those things, I am sure I sounded moronic.

I stayed up another hour hoping he would call back. But as midnight started creeping up I drug myself to bed wishing, Jasper was going to be laying with me.

I fell into a deep sleep once again dreaming of my past.

_I was looking at the woman lying in the hospital bed, but she didn't look familiar to me anymore. Her hair was gone and her eyes were sunk into her face. I was standing in the corner invisible to those adults who walked in front of me. _

_I kept moving my head so I was sure to keep an eye on her. The doctors and nurses were always in my way._

_I was five years old looking at my dying mother. I looked around seeing my father wiping tears away from his eyes and my mother grabbing for his hand in an attempt to comfort him._

"_Charlie." She whispered as she pulled his hand closer to her face. She kissed his knuckles with her chapped lips._

"_God Renee, this is so wrong. You can't just give up." My father pleaded._

_She smiled at him. "I'm not giving up Charlie, I'm letting go." My mother whispered._

_She would hurt so bad sometimes Dr. Cullen would tell her he was giving her extra doses of morphine. I thought he was the one trying to kill her. _

_But my mother always smiled at him and nodded. She would whisper something to him once the drug seemed to slip into her veins. He would always lean in nod, and pat her hand._

"_I need you Renee. God Lord, Bella needs you. She needs her mother!"_

_I did need my mother. I wanted her to lay with me in my bed when I had a nightmare until I fell back to sleep. She would always sing a song called "Blackbird" to me. She said it was by a bug group. The song was the one she used to sing to me when I was still in her belly. She said it was her favorite song, she wanted it to be mine too. I promised her that I would always love that song._

"_Charlie, she's your daughter. You'll do the right thing by her. Don't you dare throw yourself into your work!" She would cough if she talked to much. Then my father would apologize to her. "Bella is my angel. You take care of her Charlie!"_

_My mother licked her lips but it didn't make any difference, her tongue was dry. "You hug her when she gets her heart broken, you make sure she goes to the best school, you walk her down the isle..." My mother started coughing uncontrollably._

_He ran out to get Dr. Cullen. As my mother watched him go she saw me._

"_Sweetie! I thought you were with Sue!" I took a step closer._

"_She had to drop me off. I came up here all by myself. I told her I could." I explained._

_My mother held out her arms for me to go to her._

"_Yes, you are a very brave girl. But Sue shouldn't have let you alone."_

_I dragged over the chair so I could climb into my mother's arms._

"_Ah, there's my beautiful girl." She said as she wrapped her arms around me. "Do you know how long your daddy and I had to wait for you?"_

_I shook my head against her chest._

"_Nine months."_

"_That's a long time huh?"_

"_A very long time. Then when you were born you're daddy and I saw you. We named you Isabella because of how beautiful you were. Bella, it means beautiful in Italian."_

"_Are we Italian?"_

"_Nope, but mommy and daddy liked the name so we went with it." She laughed a little._

"_Daddy loves you huh?"_

"_Daddy loves you and me more than anything. And someday you're going to meet someone that will turn their world upside down just for you. Like daddy did for me. And you know what?"_

"_What?" I looked at her with a smile._

"_You're going to do the same thing for them."_

"_Does that mean they love me?"_

"_Yep. That's love baby."_

"_I love you mommy."_

"_I love you too, Bella. You were the best thing I ever did."_

_I clung to my mother as I listened to her take shallow breaths. _

_Then she stopped. _

_A horrible buzzing sound came from one of the machines._

_My father and Dr. Cullen ran in. My father pulled me from my mother's chest yelling her name. I wrapped myself around his neck in terror as the nurses rushed in to help Dr. Cullen._

"_Do something!" My father screamed._

"_I'm sorry Charlie. Renee signed a DNR." Dr. Cullen spoke gently to my father._

"_No Goddammit Carlisle! You do something right now! She's got a daughter! She wasn't in her right mind when she signed that damn piece of paper!" My father bellowed. _

_My eyes stung and tears slipped down my cheeks as I clung to his neck. _

_I knew my mother was dead even if the grown ups didn't say it._

_My father carried me out of the hospital after Dr. Cullen told him I shouldn't be traumatized anymore than I already was._

"_Where do you want to go Bella?" _

_I knew if my father took me home he would cry._

"_Can you take me to the library?"_

"_Of course Sweetie."_

"_I'm sorry I made mommy die, Daddy."_

_My father stopped the car and looked over the seat to look directly at me._

"_You didn't make your mommy die, Isabella. Mommy had cancer, that is what she died from. You got to be with her when she died. That didn't make her die. Do you know how good that felt for your mommy? To know that her little girl could love her that much?"_

"_It meant I loved her?"_

"_No, it meant you cared enough about her to help her go to Heaven."_

"_Maybe I could be a doctor when I grow up."_

"_That would make your mommy so proud Bella. You be a doctor."_

"_I will daddy! I promise."_

My phone buzzed breaking me from my dream or nightmare or just memory.

"Hello?" I didn't even bother looking at the caller ID.

I realized my cheeks were wet from the tears I had shed in my sleep.

"Baby? Whats wrong?" Jasper asked sweetly.

"Nothing I just had a dream. What are you up to?"

"Just getting ready to do something." I heard an intercom voice talking around him.

"Where are you?"

"It doesn't matter, but I am coming to see you in a couple days." He spoke sweetly.

"You're going to get kicked out of school."

"I doubt that. It doesn't matter. I am transferring to CU next semester anyway. I can always make up the classes when I get there. I am not too worried there little girl."

"Why are you always so laid back when it comes to school?"

"Why are you always so uptight about it?" Jasper retorted. "Tell me about your dream."

"I dreamed about my mother."

He made an "_ah"_ sound but continued listening. "It was when she died. I had forgotten that I was lying on her chest when she died."

"That's scary."

"No it was peaceful. She was telling me about when I was born and how much she loved me. It was kind of comforting."

"Oh baby and you were crying in your sleep?"

"Yeah, I guess I was. Are you sure you wanna be with such a blubber ball?"

He laughed heartedly at my self description. "Hell yeah I do! You're all girl and I like it that way."

I giggled a little. Jasper was like a breath of fresh air for my emotions sometimes.

"Hey baby, I gotta get going. I am going to be there late Wednesday night. Can you pick me up or do I need to rent a car?"

"Wednesday! Jasper are you quitting school?"

"Kind of." He said coyly.

"Don't do that! I'll start visiting you."

"You know what? I can't be away from you any fucking more. I have waited a long ass time to get the girl of my dreams and I am going to be with you every damn day. You hear me?"

I couldn't help but smile. He would turn his world upside down for me. Because he loved me.

"Okay. I will be picking my man up."

"Good. That's what I wanna hear. Now I really gotta go. I love you, Bella."

"I love you too Jasper." As he was hanging up the phone I could have sworn I heard a voice say "Last call for boarding flight 917 to Philadelphia".

"Holy Shit! Jasper's going to beat up Edward!" I said out loud. Mr. Mustachio looked at me and blinked a half dozen times.

I looked at the clock which read 3:30 a.m., Texas is an hour ahead so he was leaving for Philadelphia so that meant it was 5:30 there. I started to panic thinking about Jasper and what he was doing.

"But why do I care?" I said out loud again.

"I don't know why do you care?" Victoria said from the darkness.

"What are you doing up?"

"I forgot you have weird dreams and talk in your sleep. Then I heard you freaking out over here so I thought I would join you."

"I think Jasper is going to Philadelphia to beat up Edward." I stated matter of factly.

"No shit? I love that guy!" Victoria started laughing as she lay down at the end of my bed.

"He's coming on Wednesday night."

"So as of Wednesday we have another roommate is that what you're telling me?

"Yep." I smiled wide.

"Well you guys are going to need some alone-time, so I will try and be in James' old house by the weekend. I think the landlady will let me take over the lease."

"You don't have to move out." I said. I really didn't mean it though.

"Don't start that shit. You know you want to be alone with Jasper. I can not blame you that boy is fine!"

"I think he's quitting school."

"Bella, he's transferring. I'm sure he's just taking a leave or something until he gets up here. It'll be fine. You worry too much."

"I don't want him to loose his scholarships."

"He's a grown man. I'm sure he has thought this through. And if he hasn't who cares! Just be happy that this man is willing to turn his world upside down for you."

"That's exactly what my mother said."

"What?"

"One of the last things she told me when she died was that I would find someone that was willing to turn their life upside down for me that meant they loved me." I said getting ready to cry again.

Victoria started shaking her head.

"Well of course it means they love you Bella! Who the hell wants to fuck up their life for someone they kind of _like_?" Victoria said sarcastically.

I threw my pillow at her.

"You need to shut the hell up!" I yelled.

"You're such a dork sometimes I swear!" She yelled back and laughed. "You're mom sounded sweet. I bet she would have been really happy that you hooked up with your man at an orgy!"

"That's it!" I squeaked. "I knew him since high school!"

"Yeah! But you didn't screw him until three other people were there!"

In my head I knew that Victoria was just trying to cheer me up so I wasn't really mad. But sometimes this girl could really rile me up!

"Go to you own room. Or I am going to start thinking that since you can't stop talking about it, that maybe you wanna do one!"

"Dude. You bet your ass I do!" She said.

"Seriously?"

"Hell yeah Bella! You look like this innocent little angel but you are wild woman! I would have never in a hundred years thought you would be part of this stuff when I first met you! Wild woman!" She smiled and went to her bedroom.

I couldn't sleep while thinking about what Jasper was doing so I decided to call the next thing closest too him. Rosalie.

I figured waking her ass up in the middle of the night was a small piece of payback.

"Hello?" Rosalie voice was barely audible.

"Rose? It's Bella."

"Um, hey. What are you doing? Why are you calling so late? Oh shit did something happen to Jasper?"

"Can I answer a question now?"

"Yeah. Go ahead. Little Miss Cocky at almost three am."

"Jasper is on his way to Philadelphia."

"To kick the shit out of Edward I suppose."

"How did you know?" I was shocked she even knew about the events.

"He's been dying to beat Edward's ass for years. Edward acting like a giant douchebag and going out there to try and steal you from Jasper was pretty nasty...." Rosalie trailed off and then I heard her say, "Oh bullshit Emmett!"

"What?"

"Emmett thinks they both have a reason to kick each other's asses because of high school."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Who knew I would be the cause of so much trouble?"

"Ah, have you looked in the mirror?" She asked sarcastically.

I decided to change the subject. "So you and Emmett are back together huh?"

"Yeah, he got expelled for selling anabolic steroids to the wrestling team and now he's sucking on my teats, trying to get into the community college. It's a real joy having him back in my life."

"Well I am happy for you."

"Yeah, well I am happy for you too. My brother thinks you are a Goddess, always has." She said quietly.

"God, no doubt! Thank you for putting him out of his misery Bella!" I heard Emmett say from the distance.

"Hear that?" Rosalie asked. "Everyone of us was rooting for Jasper to get you."

"Everyone except Edward." Emmett mumbled again.

"Well isn't that obvious Emmett. God! Go back to sleep." Rosalie harped at him.

"I should let you guys get some sleep. I just...I don't know."

Rosalie sounded like she was getting out of bed. "You miss Jasper. And I am the closest thing to him while he's flying further away from you."

"Yes."

"I'm glad you called me Bella. I've missed you for so long, and then I lost you again."

"Rose, I am sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I totally fucked up. I know that. There was no excuse for the shit I did in high school with that moron. But I love you Bella, you were always like a sister to me. I've missed you so much."

"I have missed you too Rose."

"Okay. Good." She took a deep and ragged breath, it sounded like she was crying. "You wanna talk about my brother now?"

We both giggled for a few minutes.

"Yes, I would love to talk about your brother. He's my favorite topic."

"Thank God! He has driven me crazy for years over you!"

Rose and I talked for another hour reminiscing about high school and Jasper's crush. I also told her about my crush on him as well. She screamed so loud Emmett had actually come out of their bedroom thinking she was hurt. It felt good having Rosalie in my life. But having confirmation that Jasper had really loved me, wiped away any doubt that Edward had given me. I needed to hear it.

**An- Sweet lord! All the alerts make my eyes water! I am so happy folks are enjoying this story. So yeah, we got some angst, tears, and some lemons...hey there was no lemon in this chapter! Don't worry I'll make it up to you when Jasper gets to town!! * winks * I am pretty sure he and Bella will insist on it! **

**Love you guys so bad it hurts! Xoxoxdana**

**The "bug group" mentioned is the Beatles, and the song is Blackbird, it's off the White Album. I always sing it to my kids, they know the words by heart now and sing it with me. :)**

Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these sunken eyes and learn to see All your life You were only waiting for this moment to be free Blackbird fly Blackbird fly Into the light of a dark black night Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise You were only waiting for this moment to arise You were only waiting for this moment to arise 


	14. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer-I don't own TTS or Jasper...oh if only I would take Jasper in a heartbeat!**

**Thank you mai Beta Mynxi!**

Songs for this chapter is **Little Sin by The Toadies **and **To Be A Man by**** Boston **and **Love Song by Tesla**

**I messed up this chapter and the next one so just stick with me…14 and 15 are together bc a very nice lady told me I messed up in chapter 14 so I fixed it after I deleted it…yeah I know. So here is 14 along with 15 so I can't screw it up anymore.**

Chapter 14 JPOV

Dammit!

Bella's reaction to me when I got pissed by hanging up on me threw me over the edge. How the fuck could this girl still question me and my feelings for her?

I hit re-dial and got my little woman back on the line. Shit, she was fierce! And a giant pain in my ass.

I meant it when I said everything. She was everything. I would give up everything for her.

After I got her to calm the hell down. Damn that girl!

Shit, I really couldn't be mad at her, I was pissed at the world and mostly that fucknut. I knew she wouldn't have invited him. Edward. Fucking pompous asshole, thinking he could get my girl. But when Bella told me she didn't even let him in the house I could have fuckin screamed "That _is _my girl".

Bella was mine.

I went back to my place with Peter, who was trying his damnedest to calm my ass down until I got my head together.

"You can't just be flying across the damn Country! What if he ain't even left Colorado!"

"Oh shit! That's true, what if he stalks her or somthin'!" I was becoming exhausted. Pete actually wasn't helping to much either.

"What the fuck are you guys talkin' about?" Eli yelled from the kitchen after we got in the apartment.

Eleazar was our other roommate, who also thought me and my friends from high school were sick fucks.

"Jasper's gonna go kick Edward's ass." Peter explained to Eleazar as he went to dump his shit in his room.

"Good! I hate that fuckin guy."

"I just gotta find out if he's back in Philadelphia." I said.

"What did he do?" Eli asked while stuffing his face with a bite of enchilada he just made.

"He tried to steal my girl. I want some of that."

"It's on the counter. I am not your damn mama! So he finally fucked with your girl, huh?"

Eleazar had recently started getting really close with Carmen. A friend of mine that liked to party with Edward and Emmett for the last couple years since I met her in an English our freshman year. Carmen and Maria were both more than willing to try the shit I did with Emmett and Edward because they were wild girls. Now Carmen was settling down and Eli was jumping all over himself to get to her now.

"Eli! Let it go, Carmen had fun back then. It's done." I told him as I came out of the kitchen.

"I don't give a shit. You guys were fucked up!"

I threw my head back on the couch as I slammed down with my plate full of food now. These fuckers better cool it!

"You know it actually wasn't hard to find girls that wanted to do it." I said plainly.

"I will repeat myself; I do not give a shit. You guys were fucked up and you know it or you wouldn't have stopped doing it. Carm told me you thought it was getting sick."

I took a big bite of the enchilada on my plate and shrugged at him.

"So you have a girl now?"

I nodded and took another bite. Eli and Pete were well aware I had a thing for a little brunette back home and I only dated very casually since I arrived in Texas. The thing with Maria and Carmen was the closest thing I had to actual relationships. I did date, but nobody compared to Bella.

"Yeah, she's the girl I was supposed to go out with in Boulder." Pete said as he got himself a plate from the kitchen.

"Aw man, you're not doin his weird shit now are you?" Eli yelled at Pete.

I slammed back onto the couch and stared at him.

"What man? You have this ability to influence decent people to do weird ass shit!"

Pete was laughing as he came out to join us.

"No I am not participating in Jasper's weird lifestyle choices. But the little gal I was supposed to meet up with is the infamous angel from Forks."

I just sat there and listened to my two idiot roommates fuck with me. I needed to get focused so I could kick the shit out of Edward.

"No way! The brunette that used to date Edward!" Eli and Pete laughed at that one. They both really hated Edward. He always acted like he was better than us. Emmett they tolerated, but tried to get along with.

"Her name is Bella." Peter said. I just shook my head.

"So why are you going to Philly?"

"He tried to fuck with Bella after I left." I finally said.

"No shit! Oh man can I go with you?" Eli had wanted a piece of Edward for a couple months now. Carmen had given way too many details of our liaisons regarding all of us to her new boyfriend.

"No. I am going alone."

"Oh yeah, man. He's moving to Colorado. Like this week."

"No fuckin' way!"

"Would you two shut the fuck up!" I turned to Eli, "Yes, I am moving."

"For this girl?"

_Seriously_? I had to steal a word from Bella for this.

"Yeah." I said with annoyance in my voice.

"Well hell, man. I am happy for you. I didn't think you had it in ya to take that kind a step with a woman." Eli said.

"You know I wanna kick some ass right?" I asked.

Both Eli and Pete were laughing at me now. Fuckers.

I had so much to take care of before I took off. I was either going to Pennsylvania to wait for that piece of shit or I was going to find Edward's ass right away. I wanted to find him right away! I decided to call his place. His live-in girlfriend Diane would probably know at least that much.

"Hello?"

"Hey Diane, it's Jasper. Is Edward around?"

"Oh hi, Jasper." She was such a sweet girl; she was not like Tanya and had absolutely no idea what a piece of shit she was living with. "No, he had to go out of town. But he said he would be home tonight. I gotta pick him up from the airport."

"Yeah, cool. What time?"

"I pick him up at 6:30."

"Jasper, do you want me to have him call you?"

"Sure, thank you Diane. It was real nice talking to you." I put the accent on. Girls loved it. She giggled and let me go.

Now I needed to take care of school.

I headed over to the Techs faculty building to seek out my advisor.

I was pleading with the man who held my future in his hands. I figured my grades were good enough to quit for a semester if he said no. But it would have been easier if I could just transfer and keep my scholarships.

"Mr. Jenks I realize this is a weird request. But I need to get up to Boulder right away, sir."

"I don't understand Jasper. Is about a girlfriend?"

_Alright, I guess we can go with this. Honesty, it's new for me, but okay._

"Yes sir."

"Well is it an emergency, she must be pregnant."

I decided to let his assumptions go since he was now working on my behalf to get me to Boulder sooner than later. So I nodded and looked desperate. Back to lying, a much more comfortable area for me.

"Since the semester has already started, what you could do is start an internship up there in Colorado, and at least not lose any of your actual graduation credits. But you will probably have to do an extra semester there for you to receive your degree. I've already received the e-mail that they accepted your transfer. We'll just have to get all the scholarship information up there. And since it's a personal situation they will take be able to take that into consideration. However, you may lose your football scholarship since you haven't made the team there."

"It's no problem sir. That one paid for my housing. I am moving in with my girlfriend."

"Well then I don't see anything wrong with you going up there right away. But your payments for this semester are already paid for Texas Tech and there can be no refunds. It's just too late."

"That is fine sir."

He raised an eyebrow at me in question. I just shrugged.

Money was never a problem for me. I always found some nice ride to cover all my expenses. But now living with Bella, I would definitely have to give up my wayward car stealing ways. That could be the deal breaker for her, my girlfriend the Police Chief's daughter.

Fuck! There is so much shit I gotta tell her. Not just my shit but my family. The fact that my name is only mine because my Grandmother got Rose and me new identities to escape my freak of a father. A mother fuckin piece of shit I still haven't found. Watch her not freak about that but go bananas on the fact I steal cars for cash.

Fuck it! One more thing. I gotta get a flight to Pennsylvania to beat the shit out a former best friend that tried to fuck with my girl.

I get all the information from Mr. Jenk's and make my way back to my apartment. Pete is there but Eli has taken off for Carmen's.

Pete is staring at me from my bedroom door.

"What?"

"I don't know man. You're making this move pretty fast. Don't get me wrong I like Bella, she's a great girl. But are you sure this isn't about that douchebag?"

I settle down. Pete has been a good friend since I came to Texas. I drank too much and I fucked every girl I could get my hands on back then, but he never judged me on my shit, but when it came to my friends from Fork's he always wondered why.

"No. It isn't about him." I took in a deep breath. "Remember when I told you about Bella sometimes looking at me?" I sat down on my bed.

"Yeah. You said you caught her looking at you and she had blushed." He smiled.

"Bella was into me back then. She wanted me just as bad. She was a good girl and didn't want to make waves or hurt Edward. She was doing the same shit as me, only she kept her mouth shut about it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. So what kind of an idiot would I be if I didn't fucking race to be with her? She's all I ever wanted and then I find out she wanted me too!"

"You really are in love with her aren't you?"

"I can't even explain it. I fucked up so bad that last time I was there with her. Then she gave me another shot...I can't keep living my life as a fuck up. I need her."

"Alright. I just wanted to make sure."

"I know man. Aren't you moving to Colorado too?" I joked.

"Yeah well, I may have jumped on that a little fast. Victoria and I are still at the beginning stage. But at least when I go to visit her, I'll have somebody to watch football with."

"News flash, Bella and Hell Cat love football."

"Stop callin' her that!"

I laughed at him as he shook his head and walked away.

I called the airline and got myself booked on a flight to Philadelphia with one layover in Indiana.

I was too keyed up to get any sleep, so I opted to call my sister.

"Hello little brother." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Again with this shit. I am the older twin."

"Whatever, Jared."

"What's my name?"

"Oh no, Jasper! Ganny thought you were a Jasper from the beginning." She said sarcastically and laughed. "So what's up with you and the little woman?"

"I am moving to Boulder." I said with finality.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Rose screamed. "Oh my God! When the hell did this happen? Oh no wait. Shit, you're not really stalking her are you? This is for real?"

"No the stalking would be Edward's new hobby."

"Oh hold on. This is getting interesting. Let me get a Diet Coke and find a nice comfortable seat. I want to hear all about this. Hey do you want me to get Emmett? He'd love this too."

"Naw, that's alright. Just know I am gonna beat the fuck outta Eddie." I couldn't help but laugh at my sister.

"What did he do? Did he try to fuck her?"

"Bella didn't want to talk about it, but she said she didn't let him in the house."

"She's a good girl. Always has been." Rosalie said with a kind voice. "Are you moving in with her?"

"Yep."

A long pregnant pause from my sister, which could only mean she was fixin' to scream again.

And then Rose did scream. _Loud._

I had to laugh at my sister. "Knock that off! I can't hear now."

"Oh my God! I am so damn happy for you Jasper! She is gonna be the best thing that ever happened to you!"

"She already is."

I could hear my sister start to cry. Rose had a problem of being just like our mother and that was having a genetic defect in being overly emotional.

"Don't cry Rosie. It's not like we're getting married."

"That is so great. And don't you say that. I told you a long time ago that you and Bella would be together didn't I?"

That my sister did. It was about a month after Bella and Edward were first together at the cabin. Rosalie had been watching me watching Bella. She finally called me out on it after the homecoming game for both of us.

"_What the hell is going on with you?" Rose asked._

_I laughed at her without humor._

"_No I am serious Jared! What the hell is going on with you and Bella?"_

"_Don't call me that!"_

_Rose rolled her eyes at me in exasperation._

"_Fine. Jasssperrr. What. The .Hell. Is. Going. On. With. You. And. Isabella. Marie. Swan."_

"_Nothin'__. Now stop being a bitch!"_

"_I am not being a bitch. You watch her like a hawk. Ever since the cabin!"_

"_You'll have to be more specific. We go to that stupid cabin every weekend." I was pissed. I really thought I was hiding it better._

_Rose squinted her eyes at me._

"_Oooookay." She drew out the word for emphasis. "Since Edward popped Bella's cherry at the cabin. Specific enough?"_

"_Don't talk about her like that!"_

_Rose's eyes got wide with shock._

"_Holy shit! I thought you just had a hard on for her, but you __actually like her!"_

_I was still in my football uniform and Rose was still in cheerleader outfit on. I grabbed her arm and dragged her to the side of the field house._

"_Shut the fuck up!" I hissed at her._

"_Bullshit? What about Alice?"_

"_I am not cheating on __her so what difference does it make?"_

"_Well I realize that. Bella wouldn't cheat on Edward. But what the hell is going on with you?"_

_I turned and pushed my back against the wall and banged the back of my head on it._

"_Jared." Rose whined._

"_Fuck! Call me Jas__per! The more you do it the more you'll get used to it."_

"_Don't change the subject Jasper. What are you doing? She is Edward's girlfriend. He is your friend."_

"_I am not doing anything with Bella. And I won't do anything. I just like her."_

"_Alright so what __is it?" Rose asked gently._

"_I don't know. I saw her outside of the library that day. She looked so pretty..." I got cut off by Rose._

"_Wait a minute you saw her first?"_

"_Yeah, like an asshole I am the one who pointed her out to Edward."_

"_Edward stole her fr__om you?" Rose looked confused and determined all at the same time._

"_Rosie, Bella wasn't mine."_

"_She could have been though." Now my sister was making me feel like a complete pussy._

"_No, she couldn't. I'm not good enough for her." I said sadly._

"_I wish you __wouldn't beat yourself up like this Jasper. If you want Bella, go for it."_

"_What and fuck up everything for everybody?"_

"_So instead you are just going to watch her like a love sick puppy?" Rose looked at me like I was nuts._

"_Yeah, I guess." I felt defeated__._

"_Stop it! It may not happen yet but she will be yours someday. I know it!"_

_With that my younger sister by seven and half minutes ran to the girls locker room. I shook my head watching her bounce away. "Someday." I said to myself, Bella would be mine._

I packed as many clothes as I could in my one suitcase and my duffel bag.

I grabbed the Bible my grandmother gave me when I graduated from high school. Granny had done everything to get my mother her daughter Margaret, my sister, and me away from my father.

Granny bought us all our new identities and helped us get set up in Forks. She gave me her father's name. Jasper. I liked it the minute she told me my new name.

I promised her that I would keep it no matter what.

"_Maggie? Do you hear that? Your handsome bo__y will carry my father's name." Granny turned back to me. "You should have been Jasper anyway." My grandmother smiled at me. "You take care of them now Jasper. You're the man of the house. And you are such a good young man."_

The women in my life saw me as good.

But my father told me exactly what I was. From loser to criminal, I always knew he had me pegged right.

When I was thirteen I stole my first car. We lived an hour outside of Austin in Wimberly, Texas a small country community. I wasn't coordinated enough to maneuver the stick shift and the pedals and pay attention to the steering wheel or the world passing by me at 80 miles an hour as I drove with my best friend Garret by my side. I dropped the clutch and I ran the 1985 black Mustang into a tree. Killing Garrett instantly. I only suffered scrapes that barely called for stitches. That was the first time I went to a juvenile jail.

It wasn't my last either, but when we moved to Forks, Granny told me this was my chance to make myself over.

"_Forget the pa__st now Jasper. You can make yourself into the man your mother and I know should be."_

I opened the bible to the verse she had told me to live by: "_Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge __Him, and He will make your paths straight."_

I smiled as I read it again. She wanted me on the straight and narrow path.

I wondered if I was good enough.

But the verse she said was about love I was now starting to believe; _"There is no fear in love; but lov__e casteth out fear..._

That is what Bella was giving me. Love without fear. She kept letting me back into her heart after all the shit I pulled with her. She gave me the reason I needed to be a good man. Whether Bella knew or not, she was helping me do just that.

Eli drove me to the airport for my midnight flight to Philadelphia. I would have one layover in Indiana, and then I would put an end to this rivalry between me and Edward. He started it but I would finish this shit. Then I could be with my girl, I thought with a smile on my face. We put Bella through too much with our shit. She didn't deserve to be put through crap like this because we were having a pissing contest over her. We could have it and she didn't even need to know it was happening.

I told Bella she wasn't the prize, that may have been blasphemy. She was the reward that could not be won. Instead, her giving herself to us was the prize.

Neither one of deserved her, I knew that but Edward thought he did. And that is why he lost her.

She wanted to save me. A month ago I felt like I had nothing, now, today, I have the world. I got the girl.

I took a cab to Edward's apartment building and waited for him outside.

I sat on his car, that fuckin' pussy always followed his father's orders and drove a Volvo.

_Wimp_.

Drive a man car.

I laid on the hood waiting for him listening to my IPod.

When Edward came out of his apartment for class at 9 o' clock. He almost swallowed his tongue when he saw me.

"Hey buddy." I smiled at him.

"What the fuck Jasper? Is this why you called Diane and asked where I was?"

"Are you that fuckin' dumb?" I slid off his car, I was pretty sure the jeans I was wearing scratched the paint job. "You pulled your cave man bullshit and tried to scare Bella!"

"Bullshit! She's mine you fucker!"

"Yeah, you want me to stand behind you when you tell the little woman upstairs?"

"You stay away from Diane!"

"Make up your mind Edward. Who the fuck is it you want? You can't have 'em all!"

"You know I want Bella. She's always going to be mine..." Poor Edward got cut off with my fist engaging his perfectly sculptured jaw.

He grabbed his face and backed up. Edward was always pretty useless when it came to fighting. At least when he was fighting other guys. He could verbally beat the shit out of Bella.

"What the fuck Jasper?" He hadn't even dropped his back pack yet.

Finally he grew a pair and rushed me. He caught me around my waist and we both went into his car. The car alarm started screaming like Edward. I backed up and side kicked in the gut. He doubled over in a second.

By now the neighbors were coming out and so was Diane. Screaming like a banshee that she was gonna call the cops.

"You are gonna stay the fuck away from her." I told Edward quietly. I was still a good enough friend to him to not fuck with what he had going with Diane. He looked at me and nodded.

"I just didn't want to lose her Jasper."

"Man, you let her go. Three years ago!"

"I know... but you..."

"I may have fucked with you in high school Edward, but I never hurt her. So just stay the fuck away from my girl."

His eyes burned with fire when I said Bella was my girl. I had to smile at him.

I pushed his head back down and waited for a response.

He finally nodded.

"See ya 'round Edward." He looked up at me and finally I could see he was done.

There was no way he would fight me for Bella any more. She didn't even let him in her house. He knew she didn't want him anymore. Even to a dense fuck like him, that was glaringly obvious. Fuck me coming here was just for my ego. I didn't need to beat his ass down, but I liked doin' it anyway.

I turned around and picked up my jacket off the hood of Edward's car. I had left my suitcase and duffel bag at the airport. I knew I wasn't going to be in town too long. I figured I would hang out in Philadelphia for a couple hours, you know see some sights before I grabbed a taxi to the airport and headed to my girl in Colorado.

Twelve long ass hours later I was walking through Denver International Airport heading towards the baggage claim.

I was surprised to see my brown eyed beauty waiting for me there looking intently at her phone.

"Baby." I said quietly. As if she heard me Bella looked up and our eyes met. The smile that spread across her face could have lit the city of Dallas it was so bright and beautiful.

Then she jumped into my arms. "Oh baby!" I said with my own big smile.

I settled my hands under ass, while she wrapped her lovely strong legs around my waist.

We kissed like we hadn't seen each other in months.

"Oh my God I am so glad you're here finally!" She squealed.

"Really? I was gone for two days and you missed me this much?"

"Yes." She giggled bringing her face to nuzzle my neck.

"I missed you too. So I ain't goin' anywhere from now on unless you come with me." I kissed her forehead.

I knew we were getting looks from the other passengers I had just flown with.

But fuck em'!

"Okay. I don't think I can handle it if you left anymore. I am actually really liking the idea of seeing these eyes every single day."

"Well then I guess I ain't going no-where. Not without you."

Bella unlocked her legs from my waist and I let her down. Instantly I felt cold from not having her wrapped around me. I placed my hand on her neck and started rubbing. She leaned into me like she felt the same way.

Touching Bella was a necessity.

I wasn't sure how I had gone so long without doing it. She was like a life force. Had I touched her when we were younger I would have never been able to let her go. My feelings for Bella were rooted in my psyche, and my soul.

We moved from friends with crushes to lovers and soul mates quickly. But I would never regret this. Having Bella with me now was worth every second I spent alone before.

As usual I drove Bella's truck I was really starting to like this vehicle.

"You know I am gonna need you to come to Texas with me in the next couple weeks to drive my cars up here."

"How many cars do you have?" Bella asked with her sweet smile.

"I got two classics and one Ducati."

"What's a Ducati?"

"A bike." I reached over and pulled her closer without her having to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"Why can't you just get a bike rack for one of your cars?"

I started laughing. I couldn't help it. This girl with all her book smarts was clueless about most things that didn't pertain to her studies.

"Baby, it's a motorcycle. And there ain't no way anyone is messing with my cars."

"Oh. What kind of cars are they?"

"A 1965 Pontiac GTO, red and black, and a 1970 powder blue Mustang convertible." I said with pride. They were my cars. They were just purchased with the money I received from my illegal activities.

"Jasper, where do you get all your money if you don't mind me asking?"

"I don't mind you asking. I am just not sure you like the answer." I said with a hint of a smile on my face. "Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

She smirked.

"That bad huh?"

I couldn't help but smile. Yes it really was that bad, but is it wrong that I just wanted to be happy tonight? I just wanna be with my girl?

"Um, just so you know Vic, will be getting James' and her old place at the beginning of the month."

"Oh, Hell Cat leaving so soon?"

Bella started laughing. "Yeah, Hell Cat is moving out so soon. So you are stuck with Mr. Mustachio."

"Baby, we gotta talk about that name. How the hell am I supposed to tell people that cat's name with a straight face?"

"Well you can always blame it on me since I named his furry ass before we started dating. Stop changing my baby's name." Bella pouted.

"Your baby, huh?" I had to let that one go. We were way to new in this relationship to be talking real babies.

Once we got back to Bella's place, oh shit it's our place now. Bella even showed me that she added my name to the mail box.

"I've never lived with a guy. So I wasn't sure. But this makes it official don't you think?" She seemed so nervous. She was too damn cute.

"Thank you baby." I was actually really touched that she did it.

We went in to find the house empty. Bella wasn't sure where Hell Cat was but I could say in all honesty I did not care. I needed to be with Bella now.

The cat was there looking at me. I actually like that cat.

I grabbed Bella's hand and walked her towards her bedroom. Fuck! Our bedroom!

I put my hands on her cheeks and brought my face to hers. Those beautiful full lips I had missed so much.

She let out a soft moan into our kiss that reverberated through my body right to my dick. Where it stayed until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Baby." I started helping her with her shirt and once I got that damn thing off, I was about to rip her damn bra off.

She smiled against my mouth she reached behind her and unhooked it for me.

I pushed her back on the bed and started working off her jeans. "Baby we gotta work on getting you easier access clothes."

She started giggling. Which made her tits move in the most tempting way. This girl has been killing me slowly since the first minute I saw her sitting on the steps of the library. Now she was mine.

I latched my mouth onto her right breast while massaging the other with my hand.

The noises she made would be enough to drive me insane, but to top it off with her rockin' little body. I was in heaven.

"Baby you are like my perfect little sin."

"Mmmm, I like that. I'll be anything you want me to be Jasper."

I stood back up to get my clothes off. Bella sat up at the end of the bed. She licked my navel and started working my jeans down my legs and then she had me in her hot little mouth.

"Fuck baby...shhhh." I hissed.

Her mouth on me. Me inside her. My mouth on her any fucking where on her body and I was a happy man.

"Baby. Lay back down." I wasn't about to come in her mouth. I wanted to be inside her wet heat before I went insane.

She did what I asked and I pushed myself inside her in one motion. I began rocking in and out of her slowly and then increasing my pressure. "Fuck baby. You feel so good!"

"Oh god Jass...fuck...oh!"

I felt her pussy start to milk me as we both fell over together.

I put my hands on either side of her head so I could look into those incredible eyes. "Bella." All I could do was whisper her beautiful name.

"Jasper." She smiled lovingly at me.

Tonight I was with my dream girl. I wasn't going anywhere.

**AN- Hey * waves * so no rotten fruits and veggies today? Sweet. I thought you Jasper lovers might like this chapter. The Eddie lover's maybe not so much * shrugs * My next story is all Eddie all the time...just in case you wanna read it. I'll let ya know when I get it together. Because I actually luff them both!**

**So I hope you guys liked this chapter. I love you guys. The alerts and the reviews are making my heart sing. So thank you so much!**

**4/20/11 This was corrected because I made a serious woopsie! The Bible verse**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight or any of the other books, but Mr. Mustachio I do own, oh yeah that furry little shit is all mine.**

Song for this chapter **Syrup and Honey** by **Duffy** and **Let Love In** by **The Goo Goo Dolls **and **Hurt Me Bad (In A Real Good Way) **by **Patty Loveless**

Chapter 15 Wanted

Jasper was next to me lying in my bed, well our bed, where he would stay.

God I was a happy girl!

Now what was going to happen to fuck it all up?

Something always happens to mess up folks and their happy little worlds. What would be ours?

Edward had already tried to ruin Jasper for me.

Hell, Jasper tried to ruin Jasper for me just a couple weeks ago when he tried to get me to hate him.

I guess next on the list would be me doing something moronic and jacking up my own life.

Jasper was quiet. Almost asleep. I was cuddled up on his chest like a kitten. He was so warm and he smelled so good. He smelled like his very own brand of sex, hotness, with some maple syrup or something.

God it was addicting! Jasper was addicting!

I felt my heart start to race a little.

I started to run my fingers through his beautiful chest hairs. Since he started staying with me we always ended up in my bed, naked, breathing hard, and fucking the shit out of each other. But when we would lay quietly after our grunting stopped or when he was asleep I would take that opportunity to study him.

I wanted to know every hair on his body, birth marks, every single piece of him. Jasper had the most amazing pillow like lips I had ever seen on a man. His eyelashes were a shade darker than his hair. He had three scars, two small and another really long one. He had obviously had stitches on each of them, so the injuries had been serious. A small one was on the right side of his neck the other two on his chest. The long scar went slightly vertically along his ribs in an upside down crescent shape. I wanted to memorize it, hell I wanted to memorize all of him.

Jasper was like a drug to me.

I combed his body with my eyes.

I saw everything I could when he was with me, because he always seemed to be leaving or worse I was booting his ass out of my bed and/or my life. Every time I watched him walk away, it was like I was loosing part of myself. Part of my future.

Was it selfish to think this way?

He would return to me with a little more of his mask chipped away. I believed him when he said he loved me. His eyes made it impossible for him to lie. His emotions shown through them like an open window. He must have known they gave him away. When he had been cruel he would always look away.

It was close to midnight when I heard Victoria come home and slip quietly into her bedroom.

She hadn't told me she was going anywhere tonight, but I knew she was making a concerted effort to give Jasper and I time together. Victoria was like that. She saw the world a lot more clearly then I did. She was reasonable when I was hysterical, she was kind when I wanted to be cruel, and she was good.

Victoria was also completely loyal. Her heart was broken by James and his easy dislodging of her from the home and life they shared. But she would never talk about it. Her belief in the human mind and the emotions it emitted could be easily healed with quiet and time. The fact that Peter came along in that same moment to give her something to focus on so she didn't need obsess over her broken heart was priceless.

Life made Victoria's exterior tougher than she actually was, but she would never lose her sweet and stubborn soul.

I finally fell asleep against Jasper's heat and strength. His right arm securely wrapped around my back bringing me closer to him. I felt safe, for one of the first times in my adult life. I somehow always knew Jasper would be the one to give that kind of comfort to me.

_The night of Jessica's party Edward had called me and told me he would meet me there, instead of picking me up and taking me. I knew he was still mad over the library incident and then later on his fight with Jasper in the park, but I couldn't figure out why it was my fault._

"_Fine, whatever. I'll meet you there." I said to him on the phone before I hung up._

_Alice was at my house raiding my closet, why I had no idea. She had said something about a blue top I had that Edward told me I looked pretty in. Why she wanted to wear a shirt my boyfriend thought I looked pretty in was beyond me, but hey go for it._

"_Fighting with your man?" Alice asked while still in my closet._

"_He's being a jerk! I don't understand why."_

_I walked behind Alice watching her tear apart my closet._

"_Maybe he's jonezin for something else." She whispered._

"_What are you talking about?"_

_I had startled her._

"_Fuck! Bella, you scared the shit out of me. I thought you went to the bathroom." She smiled brightly at me._

"_What is "jonezing" anyway?"_

"_Drugs. Maybe he wants something new." Alice looked at me like she was nervous._

"_Well he better cool it with that crap. His dad is getting all pissed off."_

_I sat back down on my bed watching Alice. Lately my comfort level with Alice was at approximately a zero._

_Alice threw off her t-shirt she had been wearing and started buttoning the royal blue blouse she was borrowing from me. It was too big for her tiny frame and it was way more conservative than anything she owned, it barely showed her clavicle bone. I couldn't figure out why she wanted to borrow it from me._

"_So what do you think?" Alice asked after she got the shirt on with a bright smile. _

_She still looked beautiful and I told her so. _

_She immediately took off after that and I started to get ready for the party._

_I glanced at my cell phone willing Edward to call me before I left._

_I took a quick shower and let my hair dry naturally. With a little more makeup than I wore at school, I left the bathroom for my bedroom again. I looked at my cell phone to see if Edward had called. He didn't. I was disappointed and couldn't figure out what I had done to make him so angry, I thought seriously about not attending the party._

_My phone rang and like a desperate girl waiting for her crush I jumped on my phone. It was Rosalie not Edward._

"_Hey pretty Bella!"_

"_Hi Rosie."_

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing. I don't think I am going to the party."_

"_Bullshit! Get your shit together. I am fighting with Emmett and I need you there."_

"_Why are you fighting with Emmett?"_

"_Because he's an asshole and he won't admit it. Why don't you want to go to Jessica's partay?" She drawled out the word party for emphasis. She was trying to cheer me up._

"_Edward's acting weird."_

"_He is weird, Honey."_

"_I don't want to fight with him."_

"_Then hang out with me and Jasper."_

"_Won't Jasper be with Alice?"_

"_Nope she's still pissed at my baby brother because of the strip club or whatever. She's being a drama queen."_

"_I know! Why does she care?"_

"_Who knows, she is drama and I am getting over it." Apparently Alice was confusing all of us. "Now go get that pretty brunette ass of yours ready. I'll pick you up!"_

_I sat for a few minutes waiting to see if Edward would call. "Jerk." I said to my phone, like it was the inanimate object's fault for my boyfriend's idiot attitude toward me. _

_I opted for my dark blue Green Day concert t-shirt, a pair of dark blue hip hugger jeans, and my blue Converses._

_When Rosalie arrived she made me change in to a dusty rose colored peasant blouse and slip on sandals. She let me keep my jeans. She made me put on more makeup and shake my hair out into loose tendrils. Basically making me look like I had sex hair. _

"_Oh fuck Bella, you are so gorgeous!" Rosalie exclaimed she then grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the house to her car._

_We had to park about a block away because of all the kids that were at the party. "Alright, when we get in there you ignore Edward." Rosalie said in a serious tone._

"_Why?"_

"_You can't keep letting him fuck with you Bella." Rosalie grabbed my hand and stopped me before we went through the front door. "Sweetie, he really doesn't treat you right."_

_I backed up and felt the tears start to come._

"_No, don't you dare start to cry! I only told that to you so you wouldn't be such a victim for him." She took a deep breath. "Jasper told me that they were all three going to break up with us before we all went to college."_

"_Why?"_

"_Oh Bella. Maybe because they are all three assholes?"_

_I sat there looking at my beautiful friend. If she couldn't keep a guy how the heck could I?_

"_Come on Bella! Who cares? It's not like you were going to marry Edward. He's a jerk to you. Emmett's a jerk to me."_

"_Yeah. I guess. It still hurts."_

"_I know. But you know there are some guys we know who aren't jerks." She said with a lazy smile._

"_Why aren't you more upset about this?" I asked._

_Rosalie shrugged. "It was bound to happen. I kind of want to start college with a clean slate you know?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Come on Bella, let's go get a couple beers. You can stay at my house tonight." She smiled. Then her eyes got wide, "How about you and Jasper hook up tonight?"_

_My heart did a double back flip at that idea, but instead of being cool, which I could have never mustered anyway I started giggling._

_Rosalie grabbed my hand and pulled me into the front door to the party._

_I scanned the room trying to find Edward. _

_Rosalie knew what I was doing and said that her brother was over to the left by the fireplace. I flipped my head in the direction she said and instead of seeing my boyfriend's green eyes, I was met with Jasper's blue pools of intensity, and for some reason I instantly relaxed. He was in a group of other football players and he smiled at me. _

_I lifted my hand waved at him with a small smile curling at the corners of my mouth. He jetted his chin at me in acknowledgment. _

_My hand was instantly grabbed around the wrist by another hand acting as a manacle, and looking to the owner of the hand I was finally met with Edward's very angry expression._

"_What are you doing?" Edward asked menacingly._

"_Let go of her hand Edward." Jasper's voice was a warning tone on the other side of me. I wasn't sure how Jasper had gotten over to us as fast as he did. But I was relieved he had. Edward had been scaring me lately and I didn't really know what to do about it._

"_Edward what the fuck is wrong with you?" Rosalie asked angrily._

_Edward never took his eyes off of me but he slowly released my wrist from his grasp and let it drop then he turned to walk away. _

"_Bella are you okay?" Rosalie asked. Jasper had already picked up my hand examining it. _

_The party continued around us as if no one had noticed this altercation. Or maybe they simply didn't care._

_I looked at Jasper who gave me a weak smile and then headed back over to his friends. He looked at Rosalie and they both nodded in acknowledgment of something. Twins are an odd breed._

"_Come on Bella. Now you definitely need a beer." Rosalie laughed a little._

_I just wanted to go home._

_As we made our way into the kitchen I saw Alice, Emmett, and Edward. Edward and Emmett seemed to be in a serious conversation and Alice was trying to get in on it. None of them even saw us. _

"_Oh fuck. Well at least now we know where these idiots have been." Rosalie whispered in my hair._

"_Rosie, I just want to go home."_

"_No. You don't let him run you out of here. Do you understand me?"_

_I nodded._

_Rosalie continued our walk through the house now we were heading away from the kitchen._

"_Jessica will have a keg outside. Okay?"_

_Rosalie and I headed out the patio door. I didn't look back at kitchen. I couldn't. Now that I knew it was over, even if he hadn't done it yet I didn't want to look at Edward. Somehow conveniently forgetting he had just physically attacked me._

_Rosalie stayed with me while we both continued to drink way too much for either of us. When Rosalie was distracted by some of her friends from cheer leading squad, I was met by a much calmer but still scary looking Edward. _

"_Bella, who were you waving at earlier?"_

"_Why do you care?"_

"_Come on baby. Don't be like that." He reached out and tried to put his hand on my waist. I slapped him away._

_He was trying seduction? Asshole. I was getting a case of alcohol induced bravery._

"_What the hell Edward? You don't get to go all "wife beater" on me and then expect me to fuck you!"_

"_Oh bullshit Bella! I never hurt you." He bellowed. I turned and walked away from further into the back yard._

_He was hot on my heels._

"_So I hear you want to have no attachments when you go to Penn."_

_We stopped and I looked at him. I was still heartbroken that he was breaking up with me. And I was pissed because he was being such a jerk about it._

"_Bella you and me were never going to last anyway."_

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_

"_Come on baby. You know what I mean."_

"_No. I don't have any idea what you are talking about. You always said..." I was loosing my resolve. Fuck! I was loosing my back bone. I always did with Edward. I made a mental promise to myself that I would never let a guy take advantage of me again. Ever again._

"_You are just not what my parents had planned for me."_

_WHAT? Total asshole!_

"_What? Now your parents don't think I am good enough for you?"_

_Dr. and Mrs. Cullen had always told me they thought I was adorable and sweet. Esme, had even told me I had brought her son out of some bad boy activities that he stopped as soon as he met me. _

_Edward's parent's loved me! _

_Edward pushed his forehead into mine and pushed me back against the oak tree I hadn't realized I was standing under. His hands pushed on either side of my head on the tree trunk and he brought his left leg in between my legs effectively trapping me. "Do you realize you fucked me on our second date Bella?" He smirked evilly at me._

_I could feel the tears burning and I could do nothing to stop them as the started leaking down my face._

"_So now I am a whore?" I choked out._

"_Not a whore really. Since I know you were only with me. At least I am pretty sure." He chuckled again, raising an eyebrow at me. "But I need a girl who can at least make me wait a little. Easy isn't good for a reputation Bella."_

_I pushed on his chest with all my might and since he wasn't expecting it I was able to get him off of me._

_I started to run back towards the house and hopefully I could find Rosalie._

_Edward grabbed my arm and whipped me back around bringing me securely to his chest._

"_Baby. I am sorry I shouldn't have said that." I started crying harder. Now I was completely confused. From his words and the alcohol in my system, my brain was failing at any understanding right now._

"_How can you say those things about me Edward? You said you loved me!" I tried to push out of his strong hold around my body, but this time he was expecting me to. Edward didn't let me go, he only squeezed me tighter to him._

"_Bella. Shhh. Don't cry baby."_

_I was crying harder and completely confused. Edward started rocking me with him as if I was a small child he was trying to calm._

"_Bella. You're not a whore. I did love you." He was making my brain get ready to explode._

_He held me for a few minutes until he felt like I had stopped crying._

_Edward released me a little. _

"_Hey, you okay?" He asked me quietly._

"_Why are you doing this to me, Edward?"_

"_Baby, I am so sorry. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I should have never said those things to you. Please forgive me!" He seemed sincere in his plea but I was devastated._

_I simply stared at him. _

_His face looked completely pained, then he looked down at me in surprise._

"_God Bella. You look so pretty I never told you that tonight."_

_Who is this guy? It's like I have been dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. _

_Edward Cullen was scaring the shit out of me._

"_Please, let me take you home. I promise I will make this up to you." _

_Edward didn't wait for a response and started walking away from me. He turned and looked at me while walking backwards and said. "Wait for me, baby."_

_I was in shock. I walked back towards the house and found Rosalie finally._

"_Bella where the hell have you been? I have been looking everywhere...what have you been crying? What the hell happened? What did that asshole do?"_

_I shook my head. "I just want to drink."_

_She nodded and we headed back to the keg._

_Edward never showed back up like he promised and Rosalie disappeared again, to talk to Emmett she said. I was so drunk I could barely see._

_I was looking for Edward through my alcohol induced haze and teary eyes. I saw some of the team mates I had seen Jasper with earlier. I figured I could ask them where Edward went._

_Instead I was met with a strong arm around my waist. _

_I looked up to see Jasper._

_My hero for the second time tonight._

"_God I wish I wasn't drunk right now." I mentally chastised myself. I was pretty sure it was my internal voice, but then again Jasper had a small smile creeping across hi face after that._

_He was sweet and led me back outside as I started to cry again. I told him about Edward disappearing and wanting to break up. I had enough sense to leave out Edward insinuating that I was a whore. I really didn't want anyone else to think that about me._

_Jasper was kind and held me as I cried. Whispering to me that Edward was a fool._

_His breath smelled like something sweet and addicting._

_I twisted my ankle as we stepped off the porch and instead of getting annoyed with me Jasper helped me onto his back and he gave me a piggy back ride to his car. _

_Jasper offered to drive me home._

_He even piggy backed me to my front door. _

_For the third time tonight he was my hero. If I hadn't had a crush on him before, I definitely did now._

I woke up slowly to the feeling of something warm, wet, and amazing moving against my clit.

I reached down to feel Jasper's hair while he licked my slit magically.

"Oh my God! Jasper...oh!" I whispered.

I could feel Jasper smile against my sensitive skin but he didn't deviate from the task before him and I was oh so happy about that. He lightly nibbled on my bundle of nerves and then blew on it. He then brought his heavenly fingers to my opening and glided two fingers inside me.

Without my ability to stop anything I brought my hips up higher and met his amazing mouth again.

Jasper moved his fingers in a scissor like motion which was effectively bringing me quickly to my climax.

He continued his ministrations as I started to rock my body against his face and ingenious fingers. I was sure that my body was leaking on his palm and all he did was lick and suck harder.

"Oh fuck! Jasssssperrr!" I screamed his name as I moved my fingers from his hair to the sheet below me. I was clinging to it so tightly I was pretty sure I had ripped the sheet.

Jasper didn't give me an opportunity to relax from my orgasm; instead he stood up at the end of the bed pulling my body down to edge. He placed my feet on either side of his face and then grabbed around my thighs with his right arm. He plunged his cock into me quickly and thoroughly.

I screamed out again.

Now it was his turn to cuss his way through our coupling.

Jasper was moving his hips quickly and wasting no time finding my clit again with his free hand. Pinching and rubbing so amazingly I thought my scream could shatter crystal as my second orgasm of the morning subsided. Jasper emptied himself deep inside of me with a loud "Fuck!" That actually rivaled my own.

He let my legs loose and as they fell back to the ground Jasper crashed next to me on the bed.

I rolled over to face him while he caught his breath. When Jasper opened his eyes to look at me he smiled a devastating one that held so much love and happiness for me it stopped my heart.

Our morning post coital bliss was disturbed by Victoria pounding on the door loudly to tell us that she and Pete couldn't have sex yet since he wasn't in the state yet and that she had no AA batteries for her butterfly. "You two horny assholes!" She said as retreated from my bedroom door.

As she huffed away, our laughter could probably be heard from the house across the street from us.

"What brought this on?" I asked placing my hand back on his sculptured chest.

"You were talking in your sleep again."

"Oh no! What did I say?"

"You said I was your hero."

The smile on his face was placed on the number one most blissful things I had ever seen up to that point.

"I was dreaming about you giving me a piggy back ride while we were at Jessica Stanley's graduation party."

"Oh shit. I forgot I did that!" He chuckled.

"You were my hero three times that night."

Jasper came closer and kissed me deeply. He stared into my eyes with intensity.

"I'll be anything you want me to be Bella."

I smiled at him and kissed him again.

"I have to go to class this morning."

"Aww shit."

"You want to take a shower with me?"

"Hell yeah! What time is your class because I have every intention of making you late gorgeous."

I grabbed my robe and went quickly into the hall.

I got us both clean towels from the linen closet.

He was in the bathroom looking around. "You got me shaving stuff and I saw the shampoo I use?"

"Yeah. I went to the store and I got all your favorites. Rosie told me everything you really liked."

I smiled at him the reflection of the bathroom mirror.

His eyes held my gaze in wonder.

It was kind of ridiculous that we moved in together without knowing the basics. We knew full well that we both loved the way the other one fucked and kissed. But I figured like everything in life, we would learn. I wanted to learn it all about Jasper.

He turned around still buck naked and smiled at me sweetly. Jasper was a freakin Greek God!

Jasper walked over to me taking the towels from my hands and throwing them on the counter. He slowly started undoing the knot on my robe and pushing it off my shoulders.

He smiled seductively down at me. I knew then and there that I was going to be late for class. Luckily I already had the assignments done so I could just take them to the assistant professor later. That was if Jasper was ever going to let me go again.

I bit my lower lip which made Jasper's irises turn almost completely black with desire. Shit! I could smell my own arousal while standing in front of this man. Jasper Hale my hero.

"I wanna fuck you in the shower." He said with a smile.

"Okay." I squeaked in response.

**AN- Okidokie folks...happy still? Lemme know...m'kay! Cuz if you do...you might just find out what Jasper does _to_ Bella in the shower. Just a thought. =D**


	15. Chapter 16

Disclaimer- I claim nothing I disclaim everything. No, I don't own TTS.

Songs for this chapter are **Closer** by **Kings of Leon **and **Now I Can Die **by **Nina Gordon **and **Who We Are** by **Lifehouse**

Wanted Chapter 16

Jasper was massaging my breasts as I lightly scratched his scalp making the suds slosh loudly under my fingers. The warm water along with his hot skin touching me, I really thought my lady parts were going to explode.

Again!

After leaving me breathless against the shower wall where he had pounded me into a jelly like blob, we were finally getting ourselves cleaned up so we cold see the world, maybe with clothes on.

"You want me to do this, right?" I asked him.

"If it means I have to take my hands away from your tits then no. You just keep lettin' me do what I gotta do and you keep doin' what your doin' and we will be fine, baby." He said as he pinched both of nipples lightly. "Do you like this?" He leaned and whispered seductively.

_Oh fuck yeah!_

"I don't think I am going to make it to class."

Jasper gave me his panty dropping grin. _Oh if only I wasn't completely nude._

I grabbed his hair and shoved it under the warm stream gently. Although having my hands in his hair usually sent me to _slut-land_. This is a place I have happily decided to call home by the way.

"I don't think you are going anywhere today. Unless of course we want to eat something. Because I know you never have food here."

I smiled as he brought his eyes back to look down at me.

"Oh ye of little faith. I not only shopped for your favorite toiletries, your sister also gave me the lowdown on your favorite edible items."

There goes his grin again. _And there goes my panties, once again if only I was wearing any._

"Mmm, I already ate my favorite."

"Yeah, well you can't sustain a healthy lifestyle on my clit. Not that I don't want you to try every single day from now until the end of time. That is the absolute best alarm clock ever."

"Good. Now turn around."

If we were going to live out one of my fantasies right now, Jasper would bend me over and fuck me hard while he called me his prisoner and he got to be my warden. I figured it might still be to early in our relationship to go all triple X with my fantasy chat. Because they can get pretty weird. I was almost positive that I had a mental defect giving me a predilection to perversion. _Ah, oh well_. I will tell Jasper about it someday.

"Hey that reminds me, you were going to tell me how you made your money."

"Turning you around reminded you of that or talking about giving you head?"

I blushed profusely. _This guy was making all my bad girl dreams come true!_

"Yeah, okay never mind about how I got on the subject just tell me how you make your money." I rambled.

"Promise you won't get mad, babe?"

I took a deep breath.

"I can't promise that. You have met me right? I get excitable over little shit, and this is obviously big, Jasper!"

"Alright, darlin. Calm down. Fuck, I do love you all anxious though. Turns me on."

I turned around. "Don't change the subject."

"Do that again."

"Stop it!" I swatted at him behind me while I whined.

Jasper laughed and helped me rinse off my hair and then turned off the water. He gently rung out my hair and then grabbed the towels right outside the shower curtain.

"So?"

He dried my face with gentle pats to my skin. Taking the towel away from my eyes he leaned down and then kissed me lightly.

"I used to boost cars."

_Huh? _I was clueless.

"Boost? Make them go faster. How is that bad?"

"Um no." He couldn't help the smirk the spread across his mouth. I think he really enjoyed my obvious ignorance a lot. "Boosting means I took them from their rightful owners and sold them to chop shops for money. Now before you get any more confused. Chop shops break cars down to sell the parts."

"Like you car jacked people?"

"No I never hurt anyone, well not physically. I stole them from parking garages and mall parking lots."

He was looking down while he told me this story.

"Wow." I said quietly. Jasper looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. "Do you still do it?"

"No. I haven't stolen a car in awhile. I won't ever again."

"When was the last time?" _He is a bad boy! Is it wrong that I was totally turned on by this confession?_

"Last spring."

Jasper stepped out of the shower and offered his hand to help me out.

"You are quite the gentleman criminal aren't you?" I said while a smile slowly crossed my face.

"You seriously aren't mad at me, Bella?" He asked in disbelief.

"I don't think I should be the one mad at you Jasper. You said you don't do anymore."

"What about your dad?"

"You think maybe I should turn you in to him?"

Now he at least was getting his smile back.

"No, I would prefer it if you didn't. I told you I was a bad guy, Bella." He pulled his towel about his waist tightly. "Bella. I stole my first car when I was thirteen. I killed my best friend in a wreck."

"Oh Jasper." I stepped towards him, and he backed up. I didn't want to crowd him so I didn't proceed. He obviously wasn't finished telling me his story. We were both physically naked other than our towels; we may as well bare our souls as well.

"I did time in juvenile hall three times before we came to Forks. I was a little shit Bella. I fought everybody, including adults whenever I could get my hands on them. I tried to kill my dad. Because he hurt my mother and Rosie. My name isn't Jasper. My real name is Jared. I won't use that name ever again. It was bad luck for me."

My heart was breaking for my Jasper.

He looked like he was going to cry. "I fuckin' had to tell you everything now! Before we get in any deeper. If you don't want me, I will totally understand."

The layer of self loathing that I never understood finally had some history but still no validity. On the contrary, Jasper needed more love than anyone I had ever met. More than I had ever realized.

Jasper had told me on more than one occasion he _didn't_ consider himself a "good guy". I had always referenced to being difficult in relationships, specifically sexual. In that moment I realized he believed himself to be worthless.

_Jasper Hale thought he was not redeemable. _I was shocked that he thought it about himself.

He was just a kid!

Some kids were ruthless. Jasper wasn't. I saw him with his sister, and Alice before. He was always caring and sweet. Now with me he was amazing.

Some kids are reckless. Well Jasper obviously was. He made mistakes. He paid the price for at least some of them. The guilt that accompanied his personality flaws and his lack of it for criminal activity was staggering.

"I told you." Jasper said shaking his head.

Then I realized I hadn't said anything to him yet. But I wasn't sure if it was my turn. He really needed to get these things off his chest without interruption. I watched him while he put on a pair of boxers and jeans. He sat down on the end of the bed and looked over at me.

Relief and confusion the prominent emotions on his now strained beautiful features.

Jasper Hale's soul was one of the most damaged I had ever heard of.

I just stood there without benefit of clothes, just a towel I held over my torso holding it up with my underarms. I stared at Jasper still memorizing him.

I mentally shook my head free of the fog, and finally I figured out what I wanted to say to him.

"We all do things we regret Jasper. Sometimes we hurt people in the process. But that doesn't make us corrupted. It just makes us human." I took a step closer to him. "You were a wild kid who made some mistakes. Stealing cars is obviously something you can control, when you couldn't control anything else. But your friend dying that was a senseless accident. Your family and that stress was not your fault Jasper. You were a kid surviving trauma. You had to put the anger somewhere."

Jasper wasn't a bad guy. I would never believe that. He was impulsive and lived on the edge. He was perfectly flawed.

The look on Jasper's face was priceless. If it hadn't been a tender moment I would have laughed. He looked shocked. His blue eyes the size of saucers and his mouth gaped. "Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because....you could do about a hundred times better than me."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard come out your mouth. You are all ever wanted when I finally figured out what I wanted Jasper! That meant I wanted the good and bad. I wanted all of you!" I took a deep breath. "I just really want you to stop stealing cars."

Jasper's smile was genuine and sweet. He stood up and walked over to me. He placed his hands on my cheeks bringing my lips to his. I thought about dropping the towel but it would have ruined a nice innocent moment. We really didn't have too many of those. I doubt we ever would.

He kept me locked in a sweet chaste kissing session for a few minutes. He peppered my lips, cheeks, nose, and eyelids with magical kisses with his perfectly pillowed lips repeatedly.

"Get dressed." Jasper commanded as he pulled away from me. "I can't fuckin handle you naked anymore." He backed up and grabbed a t-shirt out of his duffel bag. Then I realized he hadn't unpacked yet.

"I made you room in the dresser and the closet." I announced happily as I dropped the towel finally to grab a pair of underwear and a bra. I realized in that moment Jasper and I had literally been a real couple for only two weeks, and we were completely uninhibited with one another.

Even after two years with Edward I still ran to the bathroom after we had sex every single time so I wouldn't be naked in front of him. The guys I had "dated" or just screwed since I came to Colorado never got an eye-full either. I usually kept some article on to make my get away that much easier.

My bras cups were shoved above or below my breasts, but my bra was never completely removed. I had lost more pairs of panties than I wanted to count because of my, _oh let's call it shyness_, that and the guys I was with usually grabbed that piece of material and never returned it. _Assholes._ Every single one of them.

Bending over for a nice tight come for myself without having to remove my jeans was always a favorite of mine. And If I wore a skirt, well the panties were usually just conveniently forgotten. I liked my rules. They fit me. But I seemed to have thrown out that rule book when Jasper entered my life again.

That night so many weeks ago with him, and the _others _I threw rule book out. Then when he came to my home, another activity I never liked to participate in. I usually went to the guys place. Kicking someone out could get awkward but leaving was easy. Not only did I let Jasper in my house and my bed, I invited him. I let him spend the night. Even after I was so pissed at him I couldn't see straight. I still slept with him again! God, he had me on a short leash. Tragically for me I really didn't care.

I watched Jasper hang up his clothes with the new hangers I had purchased for him. I was completely in love with this guy. I started helping after I put a gray sweater dress on.

When the hell did this happen?

I wanted to tell my dad suddenly. I guess the little tidbit of moving in with my ex-boyfriend's best friend after dating him for only two weeks wasn't the best idea. I couldn't to tell my dad. He wouldn't think it was as cool as Jasper and I did.

"Alright, darlin'. That is pretty much it." After his clothes were hung, he pulled out a tattered bible and a few pictures. His mother, Rosalie, and another woman, his grandmother I supposed.

"That's it? You don't have furniture from Texas. Just cars?

"Yep."

"Well I guess it is good I have so much shit then huh?"

"Yessiree." He smiled at me.

_God I loved that smile and accent!_

"Please don't lose that accent okay! It drives me nuts."

He chuckled and we walked out into the living room.

We ventured into the kitchen where we made breakfast together.

I wasn't a real amazing cook, I enjoyed meals that needed to be heated by a microwave or if I was feeling really decadent I would pull something out of the freezer, poke holes in the plastic that topped it and put it in the oven at 350 degrees.

When I apparently jacked up scrambled eggs Jasper asked me to please sit down and watch.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" I whined. There was no dining room table, this house was tiny.

He chuckled at me and lifted me by my underarms to sit my ass on the counter top.

"Baby, how do you fuck up eggs?"

"I don't know. I thought that was what you were supposed to do. Apparently whisking the eggs in the pan was a major cooking crime. Well hell I didn't know! I was raised by a man, who believed the Stouffer's was excellent eating.

"I am going to teach you how to cook." Jasper declared with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Why?"

"Because, you need to learn. How the hell do you have that body when you eat shit food?"

I shrugged. I always ate junk food. I liked it better.

"How do you know how to cook so well?"

"I was raised in a house full of women who wanted me to be a dream man." He shook his head smiling.

I giggled at his confession.

I leaned over and kissed his temple. "Dream man, huh? I like that."

"I will fuck you on this counter. Just not while the eggs are cookin'." He chastised me with his eyes. I wasn't so quickly dismissed though.

I brought my leg around his waist pulling him away from the stove. His smiled seductively while his hands went up my naked legs and under the dress to my thighs.

"You are an evil little girl you know that?"

"Your eggs are burning."

He turned and headed back over to his mission of creating the _perfect post sex and shower while we are skipping school breakfast._

"I am gonna have to punish you Bella Swan." He said as he turned off the burner and removed the pan from the heat setting it aside on a pot holder he had set out on the counter. I would have just left everything on the stove. That might be why when I did cook everything was always burned.

"Oh my, Mr. Hale. How will you punish me?" I said in a little girl voice.

I bit my lower lip as Jasper walked back over to me.

His palms ran up my thighs again.

Jasper's fingers met the lace of my panties and started to run his finger up and down the crotch effectively making me soaked.

"Oh my God." I mumbled. "You have the most amazing fingers."

"Yeah, what else baby?" He leaned in and started kissing the exposed skin under my right ear.

"Everything.....ahh!" I was loosing coherency while he rubbed and sucked at two of my most sensitive areas.

"Well good baby. Now we are getting somewhere. But first we gotta eat." Then he pulled away.

"Asshole." I announced at my frustrating new roommate. He simply smiled back at me and started getting the rest of the breakfast together.

I started to get off the counter and Jasper grabbed my waist to help me down. "You just can't stop touching me can you?"

"Nope. You can't either."

"Nope."

Jasper had made a lovely breakfast of the most delicious eggs toast and fruit. The eggs were the best I had ever tasted. I made a loud groaning sound after my first bite. Looking at Jasper in amazement. He smiled back.

"Did you do all the cooking for you and Pete?"

"Nope we all took turns."

"All? You had more roommates?"

"Yeah. Eli, now that boy could make Mexican food and Pete is the Italian creator."

"Wow, and then there were two females living here who would burn water."

Jasper smiled at me and shook his head. "Why didn't you learn how?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

"Well my dad would always, and I mean always get sad in the kitchen. You know it's the "heart of the house" or whatever. So he would always have take out or when he actually did date, they cooked for him."

"Why didn't the girlfriends teach you?"

"He never actually brought them to the house." I sat up. "I actually think that might be why I am so fucked up in relationships."

"Because your dad didn't bring home dates? Maybe he was just trying to protect you from hurtin' if they didn't work out."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

"You aren't messed up in relationships Bella. You just weren't ready."

"Now how come you can be so sure of stuff with me but not with yourself?"

"I always paid closer attention to you."

That statement made me laugh and he just smiled at me in knowing.

"What?" I asked.

"Bella, I watched everything. I saw you. I watched you grow from this shy little girl to this bold angel in two years. I kissed you on prom night our senior year."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. You had come downstairs when we were at the cabin. You fell asleep on my shoulder and I kissed you."

I smiled that might be the sweetest most perverted thing I had ever heard.

"Did you feel me up too?"

Jasper's eyes got huge with shock. After all the things him, Edward, and Emmett did, could he really be surprised by that question?

"I would never have done that to you!" Then he started laughing. "Besides, Emmett saw me and called my ass out! He was so pissed at me for doing that to you!"

"You are too funny." I said.

"I told you I was crazy about you high school. Maybe obsessed is more the word."

"I don't mind you being obsessed with me. I am obsessed with you too." I said with a shy smile.

Jasper looked at me with wonder. He leaned back in his chair like he wanted to take in the full picture of me.

"I like that baby." Jasper reached over to caress my cheek. "I thought I hid my obsession with you. But they all knew. Rosalie, Alice, the guys. They all knew I couldn't get over you."

I grinned at him.

"Edward knew that I liked you too."

Jasper smiled at that statement.

He looked at like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself.

"What?" I asked.

"Remember when I told you that it was a pissing contest between us?"

"Yeah."

"I won."

I laughed heartily at that and his amazing smile. "So did I Jasper."

We cleaned up the kitchen together. I explained to Jasper that I could clean and he could cook. Jasper immediately turned down the offer and said we would do everything together. I shrugged and walked into the laundry room that was off my kitchen. I came back holding two rags and a spray bottle of my own concoction of white vinegar and water.

"I only clean with green products. You need to know this now." I said to him a determined look.

"Oh my girl's a tree hugger?" He grabbed one of the rags and then looked at me. He held it up for me to see, I smiled. "I thought I told you to burn this."

_Edward's football jersey._

"Yeah well I cut it up and cleaned the bathrooms with most of it."

He wrapped me up in his arms and whispered in my ear, "Thank you baby."

After we cleaned up Jasper and I played with Mr. Mustachio for a little while, but we both had a desire to get out of the house.

"I could show you around the campus?"

Once we arrived at CU's main campus we walked to a number of different destinations. I wanted to show him the Science and Engineering buildings where he would be finishing up his degree once he started but Jasper said he wanted to see my past.

So I took Jasper to my old dorm house showing him our window on the second floor where we lived our freshman year, and I pointed out where Victoria and I had found Mr. Mustachio and how we hid him throughout the rest of the school year until we moved off campus. I introduced him to the friends that I knew were on campus. I even dropped by the office of the professor whose class I skipped today to be with Jasper. She was very understanding since I had never missed her class before she was just glad I was okay.

I even took him to the college radio station where I had worked my freshman year because I had always wanted to try it.

If Jasper didn't have his arm around my shoulder we were holding hands. I had never been one for public shows of affection, mostly because Edward wasn't. But having Jasper touch me constantly felt so right and comforting.

It was interesting because I could also not remember Jasper being too affectionate with Alice either. They kissed a lot but never held hands.

So I came to the conclusion that this was our thing. All of it was about what we wanted from the other. My heart started to flutter a little.

"Yeah, so that's my life since I left Forks." I told him as we walked back to my truck. "When we go to Texas, will you show me around?"

"Of course darlin'. It's more just football there. But I wanna introduce you to some people especially my other roommate Eli. You'll like him."

"Yeah? Good. Are you sure you don't want to go to the gym and see if you can meet the coach or something?"

"I don't know I just don't feel like playin' anymore. I don't need the scholarship anymore. It would take me away from you a lot more."

That he didn't want to be away from me anymore made my heart soar.

"It's like a job. A job I don't like anymore. I just want to hang out with you and that damn cat."

"Which cat?" I joked. I knew he liked Victoria and she thought Jasper was the best thing that ever happened to me.

"Oh yeah, but Hell Cat's movin' on down the road, so it'll just be you, me, and Butch."

I smiled at him as he hugged me tighter against his chest.

**AN- Some of your questions were answered in this chappy right? **

**PIMPIN- Times New Roman....holy shit this might be the most freaky/uncomfortable/funny story I have ever read.....it's all human, it's all crap that could happen to anyone, only it happens to the very academic Edward Cullen. He's a fuckin shy perverted college professor, his friend and colleague Jasper Whitlock is a man-whore poet, and Bella barfs on shoes, but she's really sweet. BOL _Did you know that a dick can be broken? _ Just wondering!! Good luck bitches!**

_**Re-Pimping**_

**Last Love Found by Oracle Vos – I've already told you guys to read this one because it is amazing! Jasper and Bella, are all kinds of screwed up! The sequel to Last Love Found.**

**Send Me An Angel by clpsuperstar- Also, I have told you to read it! It is the BOMB! Fedward is too cool for his own good while protecting that bad little Princess from a mean mob family! Funny as all hell!**

**Finding Forgiveness by Twisted for Twilight- Jasper is making a living the old fashioned way, and Bella is just coming to him for a little relief.....yeah right! Sister-story to Finding Relief.**

**By the way those story descriptions are mine, so don't blame the authors. I didn't even tell the authors I was pimpin them....LOL**


	16. Chapter 17 EPOV

Disclaimer- Twilight belongs to SM. But I know that I own a Nissan Rogue, also it is paid off so I am the bomb!

Mynxi is Beta Goddess Extraordinary! Her story is Saving Bella!!! I am sharing Mynxi willingly with Vampish Vixen and her awesome story Sassafrass Junction!! I'm not joking these stories are great!

**AN- So I got some requests from those who are very upset that their beloved Edward's reputation has been besmirched. So I have decided that the boy really should have his say. So, ladies who love Eddie, and those who wanna know why he acts like such a douche, here you go. **

**Also- There is a reference to illegal drug use and abortion. Want to warn you guys in case your get offended!**

Chapter 17

"What the hell was that about Edward?!" Diane screamed at me as I got back into the apartment after Jasper left.

"Calm down. We had a disagreement. No big deal!"

"I should have called the cops!"

I sat down on the couch trying to tune out Diane's voice and wipe my brain clean.

Jasper had fucked me up. Why I forgot that he would have happened is beyond me. Jasper cared about three people. His mom, his sister, and Bella. To beat my ass, was nothing to him. He loved Bella. He had since we were in high school. I just pretended not to notice.

I wasn't known for being a bad ass in school. That was why I hung out with Emmett he was. I could fake my way through a fight easily enough with someone else that couldn't fight. But Jasper was from the hard side of the tracks.

Emmett and I didn't know what the fuck we were doing as petty criminals. But we got a lesson in all things we thought were cool from Jasper.

Emmett and I broke in to Forks Middle School and spray painted the main hall with obscenities. A couple of dumb-asses like us didn't look around to see the cameras at each end of the hall. So we were caught two days later.

Chief Swan came to my house to speak to my father before he arrested me. Apparently one of his deputies was doing the same thing at that moment to Emmet's parents.

My dad and Chief Swan were friends. Obviously good friends when I saw Chief Swan pat my dad on the back before he noticed me standing at the top of the stairs.

"Come down here Edward." My father was our town's main general practitioner. My mother was the local PTA president. I was a giant embarrassment to both of them since I had started high school and became criminal wannabes with my best friend Emmett McCarty.

I put on my best asshole face. Because that is what a criminal is supposed to have.

"What?"

"Don't you take that tone with me Edward! Do you know why Charlie...err..Chief Swan is here? Do you?"

"No."

"To arrest you Edward. My only son."

Chief Swan took a step forward but kept his hand on my dad's shoulder.

"Son, can I talk to you down here?" Chief Swan asked me.

I nodded. I walked past my dad into the living room and sat down. "I don't want him here." Indicating to my father.

His face turned beet red.

"Edward. Your father needs to stay because you are underage and you have to have a guardian present when questioned by police."

I nodded my understanding. I hoped I was putting up a tough exterior, but inside my organs felt like jelly.

Chief Swan explained what was going to happen to Emmett and me. If we took a plea we could probably get away with two weeks in Juvenile Hall. So that is what my father agreed to for me. Apparently Emmett's parent's agreed to the same thing.

When my mother came home later that afternoon, you would have thought I had killed her dog. She was devastated.

"Oh Edward." Is all she would say. If I didn't already feel like shit I did after my mother's pity party.

Emmett and I did our time. We thought we were cool. Emmett protected me and I got us drugs from the nurses who thought I was cute. We had it made. But the weekend Emmett and I got out was when we met Jasper and Rosalie Hale. We weren't the bomb anymore.

Meeting Jasper was like a slap in the face to everything I thought I was, or at least what I had thought I had created persona wise.

I wasn't the coolest anymore. I wasn't the best looking, he looked like a fucking cowboy. Fuck, Jasper could even fight. He wasn't scared of anything. He stole cars and looked cool just drinking a beer. His girlfriend was a little psycho nymphomaniac and I was jealous as shit of him.

Then I found my salvation. Bella Swan. Jasper liked her from the minute he laid eyes on her. Her dad arrested me. I could kill two birds with one stone. Fuck the chief's sweet innocent daughter and keep something that Jasper wanted.

It never fucking occurred to me that I would fall for her. Hard! Immediately!

It never occurred to me that my parents would suddenly give me everything I had ever wanted right after I told them I had asked Bella on a date. Shit, my dad actually said he was proud of me and I honestly thought my mother wanted to plan our wedding. I hadn't even gone out with her yet!

What was it about Bella Swan that made everyone drop everything for her?

I had known her since first grade same as Emmett. We were all six. She was shy even back then. Kind of like a mouse. Scared. She never talked to anyone except the teacher, so naturally everyone thought she was the teacher's pet. Some of the kids picked on her because of it. Other's like Emmett and I, we never paid her much attention.

It never changed. She actually seemed to just melt into the scenery. I never noticed her. None of us did. At least that was what I thought.

After Jasper told me he thought she was pretty, it was like I was hit with a ton of bricks. Bella Swan wasn't just pretty, she was beautiful. Long dark auburn curly hair, pale skin, full bright pink lips, and big brown eyes that you could swim in. She was gorgeous. Jasper already had Alice, the little psycho who would blow him if he was sitting still for longer than ten minutes. He had already taken over the whole town with his suave demeanor. Why the hell should he get Bella too? I wanted Bella.

Rosalie and Alice helped me because I was completely clueless how to get a nice girl to go out with me. They agreed, saying I would simply scare her and that she would run away if I went after her alone. So they devised a plan that afternoon after the park on how I should win her over. They called it "Operation Get Eddie a Virgin". All of us laughed at the name, all of us except Jasper. I called my dad and asked him to make sure that me and my friends were in the same classes as Bella Swan. He almost died with his happiness. I just didn't get it. At least not then.

I got it that first day in front of history, when Alice and Rosalie made her walk around them to get into the room. When Bella blushed it covered every part of her skin that was showing. She looked like she needed someone to take care of her. Someone to wrap their arms around her and protect her from the world. I was instantly whipped. Fuck it. I was falling for her hard, that very first day. When I looked over at Jasper I knew he had the same reaction towards Bella. But she was going to be mine.

It was difficult to get to know Bella. She was so quiet. It kind of freaked me out. One or two word answers those first few days. I begged Alice and Rosalie to help loosen Bella up and all Alice could come up with was giving Bella drugs. Rosalie had better ideas, like actually spending time with her and taking her to the movies. I rarely got to be alone with her, but in the next few days Bella actually did start getting more comfortable around us. Around me.

I knew I had a way with girls, I didn't realize I was that good until Bella actually let me fuck her on our second date. It wasn't really a date. We went to my parents cabin in the mountains to spend the weekend. All of us.

Jasper and I had gotten into an argument before the girls even arrived over what a prick I was to force Bella into this situation before she was ready and to Jasper being a jealous pussy. I knew Jasper's crush with Bella wasn't going to go away over night. But I was getting pissed that he thought I was treating her bad.

When Bella showed up with the other girls that night, it was like Jasper let the air out or something. He wanted to kick my ass. Emmett had to restrain him. I couldn't figure out what the hell was his deal. He already had a girlfriend. Sure Alice was a bitch, but I didn't see him ending it with her either.

Everything changed for me over the course of my first two weeks dating Bella. My parents bought me a car; I was never on restriction anymore, even my grades improved.

Bella was like a good luck charm or something. It was weird.

Bella was still quiet around me but she was smart as hell. The word genius was used to describe Bella a lot. My mother fucking adored Bella. I found out why one night after I took Bella home from hanging out with me all day at my parent's house.

My mother thought Bella was the greatest thing since birth control became legal because of her dead mother. My mother Esme and Bella's mother Renee's friendship was an extreme friendship. They had been best friends from primary through high school. They were roommates in college. They were each other's witnesses at their weddings. They always had us play together when Bella and I were toddlers. When Bella's mother died, it was my father that had been her caregiver and I found out that Chief Swan, Bella's father and my dad had become friends through their wives. They had been like this happy constant double date until Mrs. Swan was diagnosed and finally succumbed to breast cancer when Bella was five. My mother broke down telling me how Bella was with her mother when she passed away and how that must have affected such a young child. It really did break my heart that Bella had been through so much as a kid. It actually made a little more sense why such a hotty would be so timid.

Bella never talked about her mother to me. I even brought it up once and Bella immediately changed the subject.

What was even more amazing was how every fucking guy in our school suddenly had a hard on for Bella. I wasn't sure if this was a new development or if they all had been hot for her all along but had never been brave enough to ask her out. It was pissing me off regularly. My ego was taking hits left and right from Jasper and the rest of the male population at Forks High about how I wasn't good enough for her.

I told them all to go suck my dick.

She was my girl.

It wasn't hard to fall in love with Bella Swan anyway.

Beyond her beauty and her intelligence was a truly gentle and kind soul. She had a soft spot for everything and everyone that suffered. It was annoying and amazing at the same time.

One time she made me stop my car in the middle of County Road 913 when somehow she had seen an injured deer off to the side. It had jumped over a barbed wire fence but it's back legs hadn't cleared it, causing the animal to be trapped for sure death by predators. Neither one of us had any appropriate tools with us so I watched in utter amazement as Bella started unwinding the fence with two sharp rocks and her bare hands. Her determination and adrenalin was giving her the strength to do it. I finally shook my brain from my amazement fog and started helping Bella free the doe. It took us a good twenty minutes to get the one line down and then we held second line down with our feet to free the deer. The doe's injuries were superficial so there was no need to worry about her survival. But it was the smile on Bella's face that was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen when we were able to free the animal as she ran away into the clearing.

Bella told me that day she wanted to be a doctor. I decided to follow in my father's footsteps that same day and become a doctor. The truth was I was following Bella. She dazzled me.

But things went down hill the following summer when Alice gave Emmett a blow job and decided to get all honest with her boyfriend, and then Jasper decided it would be a great idea if we all fucked his girlfriend.

Alice had been feeding both Bella and Rosalie fucked up drugs for months and frankly I was pissed about it. I couldn't figure out Alice's angle. She would switch constantly from having a thing for me to having a thing for Emmett. Jasper would just sit back and watch.

I didn't realize it until Rosalie caught us that Jasper barely spoke to Alice anymore when Emmett and I started fucking her.

It was a totally different situation with Rosalie than it was for Alice. Rosalie seemed be to be fucking me to have fun with Emmett, but I was slowly realizing that Alice had other plans for her and me.

She started telling me about how Jasper would watch Bella. She even told me he was a peeping tom on Bella at her house. I believed it, although, now I don't know why. Bella lived in two story house.

Every time I was with Alice I started to hate Jasper, and by default Bella.

I knew I couldn't fight Jasper. I also knew Bella did have a little thing for him. They were always laughing when they would talk. He seemed to make her smile more than anyone. Definitely more than me. Which pissed me off too.

I started to fight with Bella over little things. I was relentless when I went after her. But I knew she would forgive me. It was her nature. She was kind. She was good.

Alice was the polar opposite of Bella.

My life went to shit two days before Jessica Stanley's graduation party. That night Emmett, Jasper, and I all decided to go to Seattle. We told our girlfriends we were going to a strip club. It was fun. But I kept getting texts all night from Alice. They started out sexy and sweet. They got more demanding as the night went on and finally it ended with the most horrible words any guy who had been cheating on his girlfriend could read.

The girl I had been fucking on the side was pregnant.

Alice was demanding I come back to town then and there. I wrote her back asking why she thought it was mine forgetting what I already knew. Jasper stopped fucking Alice about four months before and Emmett only wanted blow jobs from her. I really was the only one she had actually fucked.

I looked at Jasper and Emmett not knowing what to do I told them I was getting sick and asked if we could leave.

I told them to drop me off at Bella's which of course pissed off Jasper but I didn't care. I needed to see her. I knew my life was going to shit on a slide and I needed to see her one more time before all my dirty laundry came out for Bella to see.

Bella let me make love to her that night. She was so sweet, all I had wanted to do was ask her to marry me right then and there. I knew I was too big a fuck up to do that. When I left that morning before her dad woke up I knew there were a few details I had to clear up before the shit hit the fan. I had been accepted at both Penn and CU, but I ripped up my acceptance to Boulder so I could walk away from Bella clean.

If I could get away without anyone finding out about Alice's pregnancy and me being the father, especially Bella, I would be happy.

I should have realized what Alice was doing. She had started getting me wasted before we fucked and she never wanted to use a condom anymore. She had also become moody as hell recently making us all uncomfortable and immediately thinking that she was doing too many drugs.

I was going to break up with Bella and try to keep her as a friend. But every time I was around Alice I would get pissed and as usual I would take it out on Bella. I felt like shit the night of Jessica Stanley's party. Alice threatened me with exposure to Bella if I didn't break up with her. I was jealous and I was an asshole. I hurt Bella every time I opened my mouth. Then I would see her tears and my heart would break so I would try and take it all back. All I did was confuse her and hurt her more.

I tried to talk to Bella after graduation at La Push. That didn't work. Bella was furious at me for the things I said to her at Jessica Stanley's party. I had thought she'd forgiven me, but it was most likely just the alcohol she had consumed. Jasper actually tried to make me feel better that night. No body was aware of what Alice and I had going on.

I had begged Alice to have an abortion but she was adamant about having "our" baby. I yelled at her that I would never be with her and my parents would tell her to go to hell if she tried to force me to pay child support. Alice laughed and told me she would get everything she wanted in the end, apparently what she wanted was me.

I showed up at Bella's house the day before I knew she was leaving for Colorado and asked if I could spend some time with her. Bella's naturally forgiving and kind nature agreed. "I want to take you to Seattle. We could spend some time together before you leave. I could drop you off at the airport tomorrow." Bella must have heard the desperation in my voice and agreed to go with me.

I took Bella to all her favorite spots in Seattle. I took her to the nicest restaurant I could afford and gave her my undivided attention. Something I hadn't done since we had first started dating. I had already gotten us a nice suite at the Sheraton Hotel on the water, and I had made sure there were two beds in case she didn't want to be with me. But she did. We made love that night for the last time. I looked into Bella's eyes while I was inside her, I prayed to God for a rewind button so I could correct all my dumbass mistakes with her. I had fucked up with Bella at every turn. I blew every chance she gave me. Now I was stuck for life with a chick I hated and a kid I didn't want. If it had been Bella that I had gotten pregnant, I don't think I would have hesitated, I would have told my parents and we could have had the baby and I would have never left her side. I knew in my heart that was bullshit. I treated Bella horrible. I would have fucked up that too.

I took Bella to the airport where her dad and my parents met her to see her off. Neither one of us had told our parent that we had broken up. For some reason it didn't feel permanent if they didn't know yet. Bella gave me one more kiss before she walked away from all of us waving. I had a sinking feeling I would never get her back then and there.

Two months later I was off to Penn to start college for myself. I met with Jasper and Emmett constantly with our dirty little plans and we always found girls who were willing. These distractions actually helped in between constant phone calls and e-mails from Alice regarding her pregnancy. She even sent me copies of the ultra sounds.

I ignored them all. I drank and fucked my way through my first semester of school with somehow keeping a 3.0 GPA. In the middle of my second semester I was surprised to get a very curt phone call at the end of March from my mother telling me to get someone to take me to the airport where I would find a ticket waiting to fly me to Seattle.

"You need to get your ass on that plane."

Esme Cullen rarely cussed. It still didn't occur to me what was going on. I thought there was a family emergency.

There was. _Mine._

My father met me at the baggage claim and walked me to his car without uttering a word to me. It took two hours in torrential rain to get to Forks. We didn't go home, but instead to my father's workplace. Forks General Hospital.

Where we were met by my mother looking furious. I could feel my father's tension next to me. My mother was tiny but her presence alone could send a grown man running for cover.

"Follow me Edward." My mother said in a clipped tone.

I followed my mother with my father behind me, making me feel like I was a "dead man walking."

Then we were there, the maternity wing.

My mother turned to face me as we reached room 212. "You have a very unhealthy daughter." Is all she said and I walked into the room.

My heart sank.

There lying in the hospital bed with her hair in pink ribbons and a billowy nightgown or robe thing, I couldn't tell which was Alice. Holding an equally as pink outfitted newborn baby.

"Hi honey." Alice said in a sugary sweet voice that didn't sound at all like her own.

I stood there in shock.

I felt like I was either going to shit my pants or throw up on the floor. I couldn't figure out which would make me feel better.

"Now don't deny paternity. Your father has already provided DNA for Elizabeth." Alice's mother was speaking but I was still dumbfounded.

"Who?" I asked after a few seconds of figuring out that a name had been said.

"Elizabeth, Edward. That's your daughter's name." Again with the fucked up voice.

My mother surprisingly decided to save the day.

"Alright, let's cut the crap. You're a drug addict. Are you in treatment now?"

Alice looked at my mother with confusion in her face.

"Alright, obviously not. Are you going to be taking custody of my son's daughter or are we?" My mother asked Alice's parents. Her father shook his head, no.

"I am not giving up my baby!" Alice screeched. The infant in her arms woke up with a shake and started crying. Alice was starting to show her true colors.

But Esme wasn't backing down. Hell my mom never would have.

"You know what little girl? You and your mother are not going to ruin this child." I could feel the look my mother was giving Alice. And it was scary as hell!

"So what are you saying?" Alice's mother asked.

"Edward, Carlisle, and I will take custody today." My mother said matter of factly.

"No she's my baby. _Mine_!"

My mother reached out and grabbed the baby from Alice in a quick movement. "You little girl, have got some psychological and substance abuse problems. I know that your mother also suffers from these same problems. You are not going to get my son to marry you and I will fight you with every drop of my blood to keep this child from a dangerous environment." Esme was calm cool and collected. That was actually a scary sight for anyone on the receiving end of my mother's calm and cool voice.

"I want money then." Alice's mother said with a straight face. _What a bitch_.

"Fine. I will write you a check today. Our lawyer will draw up all the paperwork; we will have it to you by this afternoon. But my wife and I are taking our grand-daughter now." My dad was finally piping in.

I was completely dumbfounded. I am not ready to be a father!

We left the room with me again following my mother who was now carrying _my daughter_ in her arms. When we got to the elevator she finally spoke to me in her true mother voice.

"I realize this is going to be difficult for you Edward. But this is necessary. This is not what we had hoped for your first child, but this is what happened." My mother's eyes were brimming with tears. "Hold your daughter."

I put my arms out, my mother placed her in my arms. She felt like she weighed nothing. I did not feel like a father in the least. Then she made the gurgling sound which freaked me out. I looked at my mother in absolute terror.

"Slowly put her over your shoulder, support her head. She's just spitting up." She said calmly.

"I am really sorry mom."

"She's a beautiful and somehow almost completely healthy baby girl. However, your daughter is underweight and has colic. She will also most likely have learning disabilities due to _that girl's_ drug use during her pregnancy. Elizabeth will be loved. She is our grand daughter." My mother needed to take a breath during a speech. "You should be sorry for not telling us Edward! This was a shock yesterday evening when we were called about our son's baby being born!"

"I just didn't want to deal with it." I looked at Elizabeth's face.

"She looks just like you. You were a bigger when you were born. But Elizabeth looks just like you Edward."

"Who named her Elizabeth?"

"Your father and I did. _That girl _up there was trying to name her something ridiculous. So we named her after my mother."

My mother wasn't usually the pushiest person on the planet until it came to her family, then she, Esme Cullen would gut you with a dirty knife if she thought you were hurting a member of her family. She would ask questions later, but once the die was cast, she already had all the information she wanted.

"Am I going back to school?"

"You need to bond with your daughter Edward. You can go back later. But right now, you need to spend time with her. I am not getting up at all hours of the night. You are."

Elizabeth was agitated and would cry uncontrollably almost constantly. My father told me it was due to her exposure to drugs while she was in utero. The crying and screaming drove me insane. She seemed like she was in agony. But my parents both said that she should sleep with me in my room for the repetitive feedings and diaper changes.

My mother had set up the nursery in the guest bedroom as Elizabeth's room. It had yellow walls and bright blue and pink butterflies painted everywhere. It was beautiful but the only time I was able to leave Elizabeth in there was when she had finally exhausted herself.

So for one full month I took care of my daughter.

I wasn't doing a very good job, at least I didn't think I was. My mom and dad gave me a week off to hang with Jasper and Emmett in Texas. I didn't tell _them_ about my daughter. It wasn't that I was embarrassed, I loved Elizabeth. It was just too hard.

Before I was supposed to go back to school my mother and father sat me down in the dining room while Elizabeth was taking a nap, they asked me if they could just take custody of Elizabeth and legally adopt her from me. Alice had given away all of her parental rights, now it was my turn. I really didn't want to, but that was my pride talking. I knew I wasn't giving Elizabeth the amount of care she really needed. I loved her more like a sister. My mother and father were physically caring for her more than I was anyway.

The baby monitor began screaming with a red light that Elizabeth was awake from her nap. I looked at it. While my parents watched me with concerned eyes. "I gotta go get her." I said in a defeated tone.

"No baby ever died from crying a little Edward. Elizabeth will be fine for a minute. She needs to learn to sooth herself." My mother said in her kindest voice.

Now I wanted to cry.

I could feel the burn behind my eyelids. The tears were going to come. Once they did I wondered if they would ever stop.

I had fucked up everything in my life. I shouldn't fuck up my daughter's life too. My parent's gave me everything. I was a stuck up little punk that acted a fool and got caught. Elizabeth would be given everything that I was but at least I could be around to tell her not to fuck it off. My parents were the best for me and they would be the best for Elizabeth.

"Okay. You guys adopt her."

In unison they nodded at me and came over to hug me. My mother dragged her nails along my back in soothing circles.

The tears started and I couldn't stop.

My mother went up to get Elizabeth while my father hugged me until I could calm down.

"Alright here we go angel..." My mother trailed off as she brought a smiling Elizabeth into the room.

Over the next couple days my parent's took care of everything, just as they always had before but I was too stupid to notice. Knowing that Elizabeth was going to belong to my parent's and legally be my sister, it was easier to be with her. Elizabeth could feel it too. She stopped crying when I held her and actually cooed and smiled for me. Whatever I was feeling she had felt too, and now we could be a real family without any stress.

It was actually really hard to leave Elizabeth and go back to school.

I got back into a routine my mother set me pictures and progress reports on my little sister daily after I got back to school.

I partied like an idiot and played with my friends and girls as much as possible. I kept my grades up and worked hard.

When I came home for the first time since I gave up custody of Elizabeth it was amazing being around her again. She was walking and talking. She wasn't having as many developmental disabilities as had first been thought because of the drugs that had been induced during her gestation. But we all knew that having a doctor for a father and totally hands on mother was the reason for Elizabeth thriving.

Elizabeth was her own little person. She was also the spitting image of me. It was even more apparent in person.

But when Bella called the day after New Years to ask me to come to a party it was like two ½ years hadn't gone by. I was going to be with my girl. I wanted her back. The fact that I had another chance with Bella was driving me crazy.

"Charlie hasn't told Bella about Elizabeth." My mother told me while I was getting ready to leave.

"Ewar wherew ooo goin?" Elizabeth asked with a huge smile on her tiny face.

She was too cute!

I got down on the floor with Elizabeth. "Your bro is going to go have some fun tonight. And, I am going to try and get the love of my life back." I kissed her on her forehead and Elizabeth squealed with delight.

My mother raised her eyebrow at me. "Really? You're going to try and get Bella back? Aren't you living with Diane now?" Ever the judgmental mother.

I went over gave my mother a kiss on her forehead and walked out the front door. I am still an asshole. Having a kid didn't change that.

It did not work out the way I planned.

I know now that I have lost Bella forever. When she wouldn't even let me in her house when I went out to Colorado all bad-ass like I was going to ruin her relationship with Jasper, like I felt Jasper had done to me and Bella in high school. I realized I had been the major fuck up at least not at the time.

I realized that on the flight home. It was reaffirmed when Diane picked me up from the airport and wasn't even mad at me for taking off for no apparent reason. I actually didn't need Jasper to beat my ass for it.

I had to let Bella go. I thought Jasper would be the worst possible person for her but it was me that fucked everything up with her. She hadn't done anything to deserve the shit storm I caused in her life. It wasn't like I was going to be Jasper's best man when he married Bella. _If they got married._ Fuck no! But I needed to get over my bullshit.

I had a great girl now and I needed to stop acting like a douche.

I skipped classes and asked Diane to do the same thing. We ended up making love all day in our bedroom.

Jasper can have Bella. I am done.

**AN- Sooooooo??? Member a bunch of chapters back when I said these kids weren't bad? They were just screw-ups? Who out of us hasn't messed up once or five times? **

**I don't know if I am going to do a chapter from Alice's POV, I know where she is, and you guys will find out.**

**The Diane in this story is Diane Normandin, a buddy from FFFW. I made a promise to her awhile back when I was a bad bad girl on chat (giggles) and told her I would make her Eddie's girlfriend in this story. Diane just imagine making love to him...mkay. =D**

**Oh, I have been nominated for a Fanny on Freedom Fan Fiction Writers. Specifically for this story! Needless to say I am truly shocked and really touched! I write out of character fan fic stories, I have no use for canon couples most days! I like my stories to be messy, durty, and meaty, and yet the ladies there (at least a few) actually nominated me! I know for a fact two of them....Cindy and Marybell! I love you guys so much it hurts!! Thank you so much and also to whoever else did!! And for those of you who wanna vote for it, join the Fanny group and FFFW if you aren't already a member. Go to my profile page links to join.**

**To those who wanna read this without reviews and review reply (s) on Freedom go to **

**So with that I am going to PIMP myself...unless you are reading this on then this is just silly. (ignore this note)**

.net/s/5529822/1/ Wanted


	17. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer-I don't own TTS, SM does**

**_This chapter includes fluff and a lemon. Nothing to offend anybody. Except of course my foul mouth!_ **

**Super special thanks to Mynxi for rocking my world with her beta skilz. You are magical Darlin! Her story Saving Bella so great! Her Jasper makes you just wanna cuddle with him!**

**Extra special thanks to Cindy and Marybell..they nominated me for the Fanny on Freedom and I won!!!!! I luff ewe guys so much!!**

**Special thanks to Vampish Vixen for throwing me love in her fuckawesome story Sassafrass Junction. Read it! She and it are fabulous! Her Jasper -you just wanna fuck! HARD! Damn!**

**Special thanks also to Twanza, her story Neverending Math Equation is so freakin great I cannot even stand it! I told you guys to read it! Now fuckin do it! Her Jasper is complicated but so damn smexy! She also joined FFFW to vote for me but because I am an idiot I didn't read the directions of the Fanny's so her and NatalieLynn (another fuckawesome gal) were both like _what the hell_ when they joined....so yeah I am an idiot! But I love you both so much for joining for me!!**

Songs for this chapter- **Glory Box** by **Portishead** and **You and Me** by **Lifehouse** and **Chick Habit** by **April March**

Chapter 18

"Should I sleep with Pete?" Victoria asked me with scared eyes.

_Who is the dumbest person you know when it comes to sex?_

"Ask your mother." I am sure as hell not giving sex advice.

"I am serious. When we are traveling back from Texas, Pete and I are riding in one of Jasper's cars and you know we are stopping at a hotel at some point, and God forbid you and Jasper should give up an opportunity for _hot monkey sex_, so what the hell should I do?"

I tool that opportunity to look around to make sure no one listening to my idiot friend.

"Do you want to have monkey sex with Pete?"

Victoria rolled her eyes at me and looked around the mattress section of American Furniture Warehouse where we were standing.

"I can't have this conversation with you here!" She said incredulously. Victoria then stalked away from me. _Seriously! You brought this up!_

"I don't know why you are all mad at me." I yelled after her as she tried to move further away. "You're the one that said _hot monkey sex _all loud."

"Bella!" Victoria whined. God I hate when she whines. _She already has a really whinny sounding voice._

"Argh! Do you wanna have sex with Pete? I mean let's list his assets. He's cute, sweet, and he adores you."

"It's too soon after James don't you think?"

I totally did. But who the hell was I to talk? Since I left high school I threw my morals right out the window.

"You should do what you think is right."

She looked at me with pleading eyes.

_Stop being an asshole, Bella! Tell her what you really think_.

"It's too soon after James. You guys were together for so long. I think if you and Pete got physical you would freak out." I was honest.

Victoria let out a deep breath and her shoulders relaxed.

"Thank you."

"If you knew you were not ready to have sex with Pete why are you all confused?"

"Bella, I have been making wrong decisions left and right. I really like him and I don't want to fuck it all up. I just needed you to help me."

Victoria looked like she was going to cry.

"Just take it slow. I'll stay with you if we stop, okay." _God I cannot believe I am willingly giving up that hot monkey sex with Jasper in a strange and anonymous location! _I am a good friend_. Too good!_

"Thank you Bella. I am sorry I am panicking. But Pete and I have been having really intimate conversations on the phone lately and …." She trailed off embarrassed.

_Oh no! I can not have this! I need details. Now!_

"Holy crap! Tell me everything!"

"No Bella!" She walked away from me again. _What the hell?_

"You have got to quit giving me so little information." I told her when I caught up to her in the parking lot. "And what the hell are you going to do without a mattress?" Reminding her of the reason we came to AFW in the first place. She had moved back into her old place she had once shared with James and she still didn't have a bed. Sleeping on the only piece of furniture he left. A couch.

"Oh shit!"

We turned back around and headed back into the store so Victoria could take advantage of the fact her mother gave her $2000 to spend on new furniture and a new start after James took almost everything that they had bought together.

Once Victoria picked out some nice new stuff and set up the delivery time and date for her place we headed back home.

Jasper and I have been living together for a month now. He had his Ducati motorcycle, or "Bike" which was also known as Marybelle shipped to my,_ our_ house about three days after Jasper arrived. He looked so happy when the truck pulled up in front of the house. The guys who got Marybelle out were, shall we say scary as all hell looking! Tattoos and piercings everywhere. Well I had a feeling the tattoos and piercings were everywhere. But they turned out to be really nice guys and Jasper was obviously really good friends with them.

Colorado itn't a very snowy state anymore so Jasper rode his bike whenever he could, but if it was snowing he just took my truck to his internship position which he easily obtained at Lockheed Martin in Littleton.

This is when I learned that my great southern man was also a Republican! He had already figured out that I was a die-hard Democrat, so he wasn't surprised when I panicked that I was living with a George Bush loyalist. He actually thought it was funny as he called me a tree hugger and a "granola" just to egg me on more. He just sat on the couch as we fought about gun control and Barack Obama's win of the Nobel Peace prize to the moron-ness of Rush Limbaugh (whom Jasper thinks is funny as hell). Sometimes I worry about the things that make Jasper laugh.

Me being anti-war seemed to be the only thing that got his honey blond hair twisted up and we actually had our first real fight since he moved in. We finally agreed to disagree after a couple bouts of angry sex. That was nice. We both shut the hell up for awhile.

So election night should be fun at our house. Come on over if you wanna see bloodshed!

Jasper, Victoria and I were all going to Texas over Spring Break to drive his two cars back to Colorado.

But that wasn't happening until this weekend. The next couple days was entertaining a parent. Specifically mine. My father was coming to Colorado because he missed me. That was crap. My dad wanted to give poor Jasper the once over Chief Swan style.

I was nervous as hell.

Jasper as always was the epitome of cool. Geeze, I wanted to smack him right up side the head.

My dad was flying in and renting a car in less than two hours. Jasper and I had finished cleaning the house and had made reservations to take my dad out to dinner. The only thing my father insisted on was that Victoria went to dinner with us. Apparently my dad needed a buffer if he really ended up hating Jasper.

I was still looking for something to keep my hands busy.

"Baby, why are you freakin out? I've met your dad a few times before, and it's not like the man ever arrested me."

"That isn't it." I took a deep breath and stood in front of Jasper who had taken up residence on the couch flipping through sports channels at break neck speed. Mr. Mustachio happily on his left side curled into a ball sound asleep. "He is going to be all quiet and mean to you. Mr. Passive Aggressive. Just because you and I are living together, hell he would do it if we were just dating. He hasn't met anybody since I dated Edw...."

The E word was no longer allowed off my lips since the boy's last uninvited visit. _My rule not Jasper's._

Jasper smiled at me when he finally took his eyes off the ESPN or whatever he was watching. "Now we know why he wants to come down here so bad. Why haven't you introduced him to anybody else?"

"I really wasn't serious about any of them." He smiled at me.

Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap. "I promise I will be real good. He'll fuckin' love me."

He gave me a chaste kiss on my lips. "I am being a baby. I just don't want him to be mean to you."

"Even if he is, I don't care. It'll be fine, Bella." Jasper didn't even look stressed, so I believed him. If anyone was going to jack this whole thing up it was me, as usual.

My dad was in full bad ass _"don't be messin with my baby girl"_ mode as soon as he showed up at our house.

But Jasper was calm, cool, and collected. Taking my dad's rude jabs like a champ. _No sir's, yes sir's and you are absolutely right Chief Swan's_ was all the boy said.

I was really impressed. I even got a couple winks to calm me down from my beautiful guy. Jasper kept his hands to himself, although I was pretty sure his hand was twitching to touch me at few key points while chatting with Daddy Robo Cop.

When my dad finally had given Jasper enough of a real bad imitation of an interrogation on Law and Order, it was finally time to leave the house.

"Dad, you can just ride with us." I told my father as we started out of the house so we would make it to the restaurant on time for our reservation.

"Bells, you and Jasper ride together. I am riding with Victoria."

"Oh shit." I whispered as my dad got into Victoria's bright yellow Volkswagen Bug. The thing had a black hood; Victoria looked like she drove a giant bumble bee.

"Why does he want to ride with Hell Cat?" Jasper asked with a smirk.

"Victoria won't lie to him, or so he thinks." I answered snidely. "So he is going to bombard her with questions about you. God she better keep the juicy stuff to herself!" I said as Jasper closed the passenger door after I was in my truck.

The poor guy practically sprinted to the driver's side and hopped in.

"She would really tell your dad how we hooked up?"

I had to smile at him. Now the perfect calm was fading for a nice little panic attack. I was going to enjoy this just a bit.

"Ah, probably." I said with a shrug. Victoria would never tell my father that tidbit craziness on my part, but making Jasper freak out for the ten minutes until we arrived at Cantina Laredo was going to be fun.

"That is bullshit! Why would she do that?" Jasper beautiful baritone squeaked with fear a couple times during the drive. It was becoming difficult for me to torture him anymore by the time we got there.

"She's wouldn't say anything, geeze!"

He looked over at me a shocked expression, which quickly changed to deadly serious.

"You know once your dad leaves town you will pay for that?" He said in all seriousness.

I bit my lower lip in nervousness and then gave him my most innocent smile. Hoping it would get him to forgive me.

He didn't blink. Jasper just stared at me.

It didn't work. In two days, I would be having my ass handed to me. Crap! "Sorry."

Jasper got out of the cab and came around to help me out of my truck.

"Not good enough. I was ready to shit my pants. Your dad is a scary fuckin' guy!" His accent always came out thick when his mood was extreme. I loved it!

I got on my tip toes and kissed him. "I won't mess with you any more when it comes to my dad. Okay?"

Jasper shook his head at me then grabbed my hand and pulled me beside him as we walked to meet Victoria and my dad.

Once we got into the restaurant my dear scary fucking dad was a big teddy bear. He did have the ultimate soft spot for Victoria. She was a red head. My mother had been a red head. So she was always a nice buffer to utilize when I was in trouble or something with my father. He adored her.

Dinner was pleasant, my father and Jasper got to talking about football and classic cars, and suddenly they were long lost buddies. I also got the impression that Jasper genuinely liked Charlie. They had a lot in common so it wasn't that surprising. Also, the fact the Jasper had a horrible relationship with his father he could use a good man on his side. My dad was definitely that.

My father was a quiet and gentle person, but he would tear someone up if they hurt anyone he loved.

He was also loyal to a fault. He never thought he was worthy of my mother's love. He had always told me she had deserved better. But I knew my mother adored him. Even though I was young when she died, I remember how she would stare at him with adoring eyes. She let him tell the same story over and over again, and laugh every time like it was the first time she had heard it. They were always holding hands or touching each other in some way.

I asked my dad when I was just about to start high school and he was dating a physical therapist that his friend Carlisle had set him up with, if he would ever get married again.

"No, Bella. Your mother was it for me. I may not have her now, but I had her for awhile and that is what I will always hang onto."

I thought it was sad at the time, but he was so sure of his answer, I did not want to argue with him.

As Jasper and I drove home, suddenly my father, Charlie Swan, Chief of Police in the tiny town of Forks Washington was the ultimate in cool. Wow! I was not expecting a two hour dinner to change my man's opinion from "that dude is fuckin' scary" to "damn your dad is so fuckin' cool". Not that I wasn't happy, because now my life felt like it could be easier with the two most important men in it, actually liking one another!

Now I needed to meet Jasper's mother as his "girl". I had met her several times when we were in high school, but I was Rosalie's friend then, not Jasper's girlfriend and roommate. I'll worry about that another day!

Once we got to the house, it was apparently time to humiliate me in front of my boyfriend, with stories about me running naked through the neighborhood to piano recitals where I choked, out of fear and couldn't go on.

Thank goodness Victoria had gone home after dinner. She already knew way too much about me. Now Jasper knew even more!

I was blushing from head to toe when Jasper and my dad looked over at me.

My dad started laughing and Jasper smiled at me and pulled me into a tight hug against his chest.

"I am real sorry baby but I gotta see these pictures." He said into the top of my head.

"No you don't!"

He started shaking with laughter while holding me.

I could hear my father laughing even harder at me now.

I eventually went to bed after being humiliated repeatedly, leaving the two new best buddies to continue their chat.

I took a couple days off from classes to spend with my dad, but Jasper was trying to get on with Lockheed after he graduated so he was trying to make a good impression now. Though he was stuck in school for at least another year.

So my dad and I went to the 16th Street Mall for some window shopping and bonding, "Swan style" my dad told me, which meant he was probably going to try to teach me to shoot a gun or something. Again!

As we ate lunch at Panera Bread at the mall I could tell my father had something to say to me.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything Bella." He looked at with fake shock.

"Yeah, but you want to."

He sat there looking around at the people passing by and avoiding all eye contact with me for a few very long minutes.

I sat quietly while he collected his thoughts. My dad was a difficult man to read sometimes, but today, I could tell he was relieved.

"I was nervous about you living with Jasper. I mean he was always an alright kid back home. But he always seemed older somehow."

"Okay."

"I mean him and Rosie are the same age but he seemed like he was in his thirties or something. So when you told me you were dating him, no let me rephrase that, _living with him_. I did some digging."

"I would expect nothing less of you Dad."

"But you already know everything right? Jasper said he explained his family history to you before he moved in."

Aw, how sweet Jasper lying to my dad to get me off the hook. He had already moved in.

"Yes, he explained everything. It is pretty awful what happened to him and his family right?" Gotta get Father Swan back on track. Jasper and family were victims of a horrible man.

"Well he doesn't have to hide anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"His father is dead. Killed in a prison riot."

"Did you tell Jasper?"

"No. I actually just got the e-mail from a friend of mine in the FBI early this morning regarding the case. I would like to tell him." My dad said as he pulled his Blackberry out as if to show me the e-mail.

"Oh yeah, you should tell him. I don't want to!"

My father smiled at me sweetly. "You are in love with him aren't you?"

I felt my-self turn beet red. "Yes." I said quietly. Like if I screamed it that would make a difference.

"I am really happy for you, Sweetie. He's a pretty good kid. I like him."

"So you approve?"

"Yes I do." My father smiled at me his approving proud smile that always made my heart soar ever since I was able to read and do simple math at three. Then I was totally freaked out

"I like that kid he got just as screwed over as you did by Alice and Edward."

_Huh?_ Oh please do not tell me my father knows about the weirdness that was _them_!

"Um, what do you mean, Daddy?" Play the innocent daughter card. Oh please God no! I am going to die of shear embarrassment! My father should not know this crap!

"Wait you know don't you?"

_Gah! Please help me. Someone! A stranger? Please! _

Wait, he liked Jasper, he doesn't know what I think he knows!

"Dad, I know a lot of things, but maybe you need clear."

"Bella, ah... Edward and Alice had a kid together."

_Excuse me!_

_Excuse me!_

"Excuse me?"

"A little girl." My father said with frightened eyes

"I think I am going to throw up!" I said quietly. "Why did you give him my address last month then?"

"I thought you knew and forgave the little prick."

"I had no freakin idea! I hadn't seen or talked to him since I left for Boulder."

"That boy is a pathological liar." My father said with disgust.

"You have no idea." I said shaking my head. "When did she have the baby?"

"She had the baby three years ago, her birthday is in a about a week."

"Okay...how do you know so much?"

"Carlisle and Esme adopted Elizabeth after Alice and Edward gave up custody. Alice was doing drugs while she was pregnant. Such a damn mess. Poor little girl. Social services got involved right after the baby was born. That was why Esme got to take little Lizzy so quick."

"Uh huh." I was pretty speechless. "Anything else?"

"Nope. She's a cute kid. Carlisle and Esme are doing a great job with her."

"Wow. Who the hell else knows about the baby?"

"Pretty much the whole town. I just figured you knew."

"Uh, nope." I said sarcastically. "I don't think Jasper did either. But I wonder if Rose and Emmett knew? I think they would have told me."

_Or not._ Secrets are my old friend's favorite pastime. _But why would Rose not tell Jasper? She probably doesn't know. She better not know! I am gonna be pissed!_

"Does it really matter now? You and Jasper seem real good together. And it was the two of you that got messed over."

"True." So my inner stalker and harasser must let it go. _That is the healthy thing to do right? _I will have to ask someone who _thinks _they are better than me.

When Jasper got home from work I told him about my father and my conversation earlier. He obviously didn't know about the baby because his reaction was to double over in laughter and saying "Oh fuck! That is what they both fuckin' deserved!", in between guffaws.

"Yeah, but the poor baby!" I practically yelled at him.

"Well she did alright! She ain't with either one of those two crazy fucks!"

I had to agree with his logic.

Later that night after dinner my father asked if Jasper could take a walk with him. I always admired my father for the way he handled difficult situations. He didn't know how Jasper would react to the news of his own father's death. So my dad made sure he had least a semblance of privacy.

After they came back I was sitting on the couch doing homework, Jasper asked me to go with him to the bedroom. He grabbed my wrist pulling me with him and finally moving his hand down to intertwine his fingers with mine.

Jasper closed the door behind us and told me what had happened to his father. He was fully aware that my dad had already told me about his father's untimely demise while incarcerated.

Jasper told me that his father had been convicted a deadly drinking and driving accident where he had run a red light and T boned another car filled with four teenagers who were going home from a church function. None of them survived the accident. His father was convicted and since he was an old man without any protection he was victimized repeatedly by the other inmates while incarcerated and he was finally used as bait to start a riot in the cell block where he was housed and killed almost immediately by correctional staff.

Jasper leaned back on his pillow while he told me the story.

"The weird thing is I don't even feel bad. I mean I feel bad that those kids that got killed, I feel bad that those guards have to deal with the fact that they killed someone. But I have no feelings for him."

Jasper looked over at me with pain and questions in his beautiful blue eyes.

I reached out my hand and cupped his cheek. I didn't have words, nothing to comfort him with anyway.

I slowly caressed his skin with my thumb.

"I like your dad. A lot." Jasper said with conviction.

My dad left the next day with a hand shake to Jasper and a hug and whisper to me that he was happy for me.

Now we were flying to Texas, Victoria, Jasper, and myself. I was so excited to see where Jasper had lived and the school. He said he thought I was cute, I knew he really thought I was a dork. Whatever.

Peter picked us up at the airport and you would have thought Victoria was seeing her favorite celebrity crush. Suddenly my tough and sure of herself best friend is giggly and frankly acting nothing like I have ever seen before.

I stood back and watched the sight before me with my mouth agape. Jasper had to wave his hand in front of my face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked with laughter in his voice.

"I have just never seen her act like that before."

"Yeah, well he's really into her too. So don't make them feel stupid." Jasper scolded.

Now I looked at him in surprise.

"When did you become Mister Romantic?" I couldn't believe how sweet my hard ass boyfriend was now!

"I don't know." He gave me his panty dropping smile.

Aw poor guy throwing out all that hard work and I forgot to bring underwear with me on this little trip down South. I brought one pair of jeans, four skirts, and front four clasp bras. I packed with a mission in mind. According to Victoria, Jasper and I never gave up an opportunity for "hot monkey sex" (I bet we look better than monkeys fucking), so I was going make that happen as easily as possible for both of us.

Jasper happily introduced me all of his friends when we hit his old place. Jasper's buddy Eli and his girlfriend Carmen, she moved in to take over Jasper's part of the rent. They all kept alluding to Pete wanting to transfer up to Colorado too embarrassing both him and Victoria.

Jasper and I walked out to the huge garage that housed his cars in the back yard.

"Are you sure you can handle that tiny barely two car garage in our back yard in Colorado?" I asked looking at this state of the art condo for the automobiles and their tools.

"It will be okay for now Darlin. Neither girl needs anymore work, except some oil changes and what not." He leaned on the hood of the Pontiac GTO and smiled at me. "This is Cindybelle. That one is Krystalbelle." He pointed to the Mustang.

I raise my eyebrows at the names. His Ducati was named Marybelle, and both cars had "belle" at the end of their names as well.

"Why did you..."

"I have my reasons' Darlin." He cut me off with a smile and a kiss. "Now, I wanna take you home."

"So when are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow, early. The guys and Carmen want to take you guys out tonight, show ya our town. Then when we come back, I am gonna fuck you on the hood of one of these cars, we can do it on the other one when get back to Colorado."

"Okay, but we gotta drive the car we have sex on. I don't want Pete and Vic looking at my ass print all the way back to Boulder!"

Jasper laughed and threw me over his shoulder taking me back into the house with his friends, who were now feeling like my friends too.

After dinner and dancing at the local bar that the students loved called the Oasis, named after the Garth Brooks song, Jasper kept his promise and took me back to the garage.

Jasper was all of a sudden very forceful and dominate.

He was methodical assisted me with me getting undressed. While I was completely naked, he stayed dressed and simply pulled out his cock. He watched me with hooded eyes full of want and need. I couldn't help but bite my lower lip and move closer to him.

"Lean over the hood, Bella." I did as he commanded leaning onto the GTO, because damn if I didn't my knees would have given out anyway. Holy shit I was turned on!

Jasper leaned into my back running his cock against my ass and slit creating a torturous friction that was making me whimper with each sensuous movement.

"Does that feel good baby?"

I nodded and bit my lip again. Jasper's left hand came around my waist and started massaging my breasts with a strong caress and a flick for each of my nipples, which made me push my backside closer against his crotch. He slipped himself into me in one forceful stroke making me hiss and cry out a series of profanities.

Slowly and gently he was pulling out of me and just as hard and forcefully pushing himself back in. He was killing me slowly with his movements and his hot breath against my neck with his own noises of passion.

I reached in between my legs to Jasper's sack. I started lightly grabbing and pulling in unison with Jasper's motions in me. He returned the favor and brought his right hand around to my clit and started rubbing it with long middle finger.

Finally when both of us could take no more we fell over the edge together breathing each others names with meaning.

I was lying completely flat against Jasper's GTO hood with Jasper catching his breath leaning on my back.

"Fuck baby! That was amazing!" Jasper exclaimed into my ear while still covering my body with his.

"That was great! I hope nobody heard us."

I could feel him smile against my skin. "I hope they did. The whole fuckin' world needs to know you are mine."

"I like that."

"What? Me being all possessive of you?" He chuckled and got up, helping me in the process.

Jasper leaned down and grabbed my shirt helping me on with it.

"Yeah. It turns me on."

"Good. Because I don't think I can stop it anymore. I waited too long to have you. To make you mine Bella."

He helped me button my shirt. "You dressing me is almost as sexy as you stripping me."

Jasper and I both laughed. "I wanna go back to Colorado right away."

"Why?" I continued to get dressed.

"Texas doesn't feel like home anymore."

Jasper and I went back into the house hanging out with his friends until we all needed to go to sleep. Eli and Carmen both had to work in the morning and wouldn't be around when we left, but they promised they would come up to Colorado to visit us during the summer.

Jasper and I went to his old room which still held a bed and a dresser that he said weren't his, and that was why they never made it to our place in Boulder. Jasper gave me one of his t-shirts to wear to sleep in and we both fell into a deep sleep.

Tomorrow we start the trip back home. Jasper would now have all of the possessions he loved and he would be with me. My life felt complete for the first time.

**Awwwww!! I freakin love these two together! * **_Sobs_** ***

**No problems in this chapter...nobody trying to break them up or destroy their happy little corner of the world! Ahh I love fluff!**

**By the way....I WON (in the Adult Fan Fiction category) a Fanny!! Holy shit!!! Holy shit!!! So I was pretty dang excited. I never thought I would win! I write ooc/non-canon/durty stories...!! I was totally shocked! Alright, I'll let it go now. I Am Kate won also (in the Twilight section) and her story Forbidden Imprint (Embry's Story) is fuckawesome! All of the nominees stories were incredible!**

**Now how's about a review?! **


	18. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer- I don't own it. SM does. The cat is mine!**

**Mynxi is the bomb and the beta, and the writer of Saving Bella.**

**VampishVixen is the bomb writing Sassafrass Junction.**

**They both just got inducted into the C2 Jasper/Bella Over 1000!! I am so proud of my girls!!!**

Songs for this chapter-** Shut Up and Drive**-Rihanna and **To Get You To Me**- Lila McCann and **The End of Innocence**- Don Henley and **Honest I Do **– The Rolling Stones

Chapter 18- JPOV

I had finally convinced Bella that there was no print from her tits on Cindybelle's hood, from our evening of fun.

Bella was absolutely sure she could see something that resembled her hot knockers on there until I drove the damn car outside the garage and let her look at it in the sunlight.

That girl is tenacious and difficult! Damn she was hot.

I wanted to drive Krystalbelle, my Mustang back to Colorado. I had my reasons, they were all focused related directly with my dick and Bella's little body.

My Mustang, she had one long front seat. But my GTO had two bucket seats and a console that would not do. Too damn difficult. Bella had mentioned something about easy access when I asked why she wasn't wearing any panties the entire time we had been in Texas. Well hell yeah! What am I, a fucking moron?

Suddenly Pete and the Hell Cat were all over each other. _Fuck I hope Bella and I don't look that fuckin' retarded. _Get your shit together you two and then step the fuck off!

Bella had told me that she would be getting a hotel room with Victoria if we stopped after we left Texas, and I was pissed right the hell off. There was no way on the fuckin' Alamo I was sleeping in the same room with Peter! So I explained to my genius yet also _dumbass_ girlfriend, that _no,_ she would not be getting a room with her best buddy. I did it with my _nicest_ pissed off voice, so she wouldn't get all pissy or miss my meaning.

Pete and Hell Cat could just figure out their own shit, but Bella was sleeping with me! I think estrogen makes women dumb, sometimes.

Bella came out of the house with another box of my crap. She was wearing a pretty blue skirt and one of my white button-up shirts over a little pink camisole. Her hair was up in a loose French braid and no makeup.

She took my breath away.

"Hey, I think this was all of your trophies and certificates. But you might wanna reach up on that top shelf to make sure. I am too short."

I peeked in the box and smiled. She had all my trophies from when I was a kid wrapped up in bubble wrap. I had so few personal belongings it was always kind of amazing to me when someone actually cared about my stuff. Bella cared about all of my shit.

"Alright. I 'll look around one more time and then we gotta hawl ass." I kissed her and ran back into the house.

Carmen was in the kitchen making the four of us sandwiches for the road. "Hey Carm." I said as I walked through.

"I haven't gotten a chance to tell you this, Jazz."

I walked back into the kitchen. "What's up?"

"I really like her."

"I like her too." I teased.

"Don't get all cocky." Carmen scolded me. "She's good for you. I just wanted you to know, Eli and I really like her."

"Well thanks. I am glad I could find a chick that met with your approval." I said as I walked out of the room.

"Asshole."

I chuckled under my breath when I heard her say that.

Carmen and I had an uncomplicated relationship. We fucked a few times, she fucked my friends a few times, but me and her, we got along great. She was funny as hell and did not get emotionally involved, most likely because she had always had a thing for Eli. She just didn't want to admit it to herself or anyone else for that matter. Getting that dumb fuck to get his head out of his ass was a chore too.

Carmen was a great girl. She was a perfect "chick" friend. I would miss her as much as Eli. It was still up in the air what Pete was gonna do with Hell Cat.

I got back outside and saw my girl with Hell Cat and Carmen. They were laughing about something. For all I know it was about me, because those three little wenches stopped laughing as soon as I got to them.

"Hello ladies." I said with cockiness.

Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled herself into me, I returned the favor by grabbing a hold of her. "Hey baby. When are we going?" My girl wanted to head out of town, fine by me.

I suggested we hit the road and Bella immediately hopped in the drivers seat of Krystalbelle. T_hat is not gonna happen. _ "Um Baby, this is not how I want our first road trip to go. So move into the passenger seat where you belong."_ Did I sound like a dick? Most definitely. Did I care? Absolutely __not._

Peter was lucky his ass was driving Cindybelle. And it was only because my ass couldn't be in both vehicles and I wasn't about to get rid of one.

"Come on Jasper! Please." Bella pouted. She stuck out her lower lip. Like that was gonna work.

"I know something else you could do with that mouth besides poutin'." I whispered as I got in pushing her to the middle.

"God, you have a one track mind!" She smacked my arm.

"I am not the one that doesn't wear underwear while meetin' strangers."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Am I ever going to drive one of them?"

"Of course." I lied. Bella huffed again.

Bella knew I would play hard ass for as long as possible. She would eventually wear me down. I am a hypocrite and a male chauvinistic pig, _like that is a mystery to anyone_. Bella still loved me and that was all I needed.

After about seven hours on the road, the road trip was going well. Bella gave me a couple road blow jobs as we made our way through Texas, and I played with her ass as she did so. I am not making it sound as good as it was, so please forgive me. It was hot as hell!

Bella had started out with a hand job that just about made me drive the car off the road. She had moved her body next to mine and worked my crotch for all it was worth before she released the beast. Once she got my dick out and started moving her palm and little fingers along the shaft and my ball sack, I swear to the Heaven's my eyes were about to roll in the back if my head. Then she moved down to put her mouth on me and I could have died.

All the oral work she did for me wore her pretty little ass out.

Pete called my cell at about 1:00 am saying he wanted to stop and get a motel room. I figured we might as well. Bella looked totally uncomfortable all curled up on the seat beside me sound asleep.

We took the next exit, and we got a room for us and our travelin' partners. I wasn't sure what was up with Pete and the Hell Cat still, but whatever._ Ain't none of my business_. Well Bella would make it my business when she found out, lets put it that way.

I opened the door to the room and then went back out to Krystalbelle to get Bella. She wrapped her arms around my neck while I carried her bridal style into the room and laid her down on the bed. She never opened her eyes. I ran back out to the car and got our bags. Bella hadn't moved. She looked like a little girl sleeping. I knew I was a lucky son of a bitch. But whenever Bella was asleep and I got to watch her just breath, I felt a tug at my heart, that I was more than lucky. To get the girl of my dreams, finally, after years of being alone, and before that, watching her with my best friend, I just couldn't believe she was mine now. That she had picked me. Bella had literally thought that all the shit I believed was important, all the reasons I had stayed away from her, all that, and Bella thought it was no big deal in the end. She would have happily taken me back then, in high school! What an asshole I am, wasting all that damn time being away from her!

I got out of my boots and jeans and went to lay behind Bella in just my boxers. I fell asleep fast, cuddled up against her backside and warmth.

I woke up to my dick being played with. A fuckin' great way to wake up by the way. I opened my eyes to see Bella naked on her knees leaning over sucking me off. I had to return the favor she had been taking good care of me this whole trip. Besides her ass looked perfect up in the air like that.

I grabbed her right thigh and started pulling her over to me. I looked down at that beautiful face working my cock and she grinned at me. _Little minx_.

I got her legs to straddle my face and pulled her ass down fast. I went directly to work on Bella's clit with my tongue.

"Oh God!" Bella whispered against my dick. Listening to her moan made me harder, even though she released me from her mouth to do it.

I moved my hands from her thighs and grabbed Bella's ass harder and pushed her sweet pussy into me. I figured oxygen was overrated next to my girl's heat.

"Shit Jasper!" She screamed. I smiled; damn I loved to hear her scream my name.

I moved her against my face until she and I were both ready to come all over each other. Once we did, fuck there is nothin' like that perfect kind of exhaustion.

"God damn woman! I am gonna have to request getting woken up like that every mornin' from here on out."

"No. Only on special occasions, otherwise it won't mean as much."

"What the fuck? A blow job will always mean a lot!" I couldn't help but yell at her. She started laughing as she rolled off the bed.

"I am going to take a shower and get all your sticky cum off me."

I turned on my side resting my head on my bent right arm. "I ain't, I wanna smell this all day."

"You wanna smell like my pussy?"

"All day and all night."

Bella giggled and blushed with a little embarrassment and walked into the bathroom to take her shower.

I turned on the television to check the news and Pete called me.

"Hey man. How was your night?" I chuckled into the phone.

"Nothin' happened. Don't be all fuckin' prick like. We both fell asleep." He sounded disappointed. I could have been a total dick and told him about my morning, but decided against it. We still had another thirteen hours on the road. All of which he could abuse one of my girls, and I ain't talkin' about Hell Cat.

"Come on let's get this circus on the damn road." Pete demanded.

"Bella's takin' a shower, then I want one, then we'll go eat breakfast, and then we hit the highway. Damn boy! What the hell is the matter with you?"

"I don't know."

"Are you havin' fun with Hell Cat?"

"Man seriously! Don't call her that."

"Whatever."

"Yeah, we're getting along good."

I took a deep breath and smiled as I watched Bella walk in front of the bed with nothing on but a tiny towel to get her clothes on.

_Was I talkin' on the phone to someone?_

"Then stop bitchin'!" I yelled into the phone. I couldn't remember why I was yellin' at the dumbass, but I knew I needed too. I hung up my cell and watched Bella. _Damn she looked fine_.

"Why are you yelling at Pete?"

"He's a pussy."

She grinned at me. "And you smell like pussy. Maybe you two should ride together."

"You're not drivin' my car, Darlin."

Bella dropped her towel, to let me see my girl in all of her God given glory. "Aww, that's too bad." She shrugged and her tits bounced ever so slightly. I am a total tit man. Dammit!

"Fine you can drive for a while." I mumbled.

She was pulling her shirt over her head. "What?!"

"I said you can drive." _Is that my damn voice?_

"Just for dropping my towel? Damn you _are _whipped." She laughed at me.

I wasn't takin' any of this shit, from the woman whose pussy I was whipped over. I pushed forward, and grabbed Bella by her arm, and I pulled her onto the bed with me. I climbed on top of her tiny body quickly. I was still naked and damn if her pussy wasn't still bare and wet for me. I pushed myself inside of her in one stroke.

"Oh God, Baby!" Bella whimpered. _I loved it when she called me God._

I started pulling in and out of her at a fast pace, grinding myself into her body with each stroke.

I said nothing, but just looked into those beautiful eyes I had fuckin' dreamed about for so damn long.

I could feel her pussy constrict around my dick, and like always I couldn't hold off my orgasm. Her pussy was just too damn tight. _Damn magic vagina._

Bella and I came down from our high together, before the pounding on our door came from our idiot travel companions, demanding that we stop having, "_hot monkey sex_", which sent Bella into a fit of hysterics and made me want to beat the shit out of both of them.

We hit the road again this time with Bella driving my beautiful Krystalbelle, Pete and Hell cat in the lead.

I was not a happy man. Bella wasn't exactly known for her driving ability. She had a lead foot and barely had two points left on her license. Now, I realize, I also enjoy the benefits of driving at a higher rate of speed, but at least I slow down when there are cops around.

I was constantly asking her to slow down and to stop jerking Krystalbelle. I actually thought I was being nice about it. Little Miss Thing got all pissed off and pulled off the interstate to offer me the steering wheel back.

"Darlin', I don't know what your problem is?" I told her.

Bella simply pouted and crossed her arms over her her chest and refused to speak to me for over an hour. I figured she'd get over it. I was back in the driver's seat, where my ass belonged anyway.

When we got back to Boulder it was early afternoon and Bella insisted we pick up "Butch" from the vet. I sent Bella inside knowing she would be pissed about what name I put the cat under.

"What the hell is wrong with you Jasper?" She whined when she got back into the car with the cat carrier full of white fluff.

"Baby, what are you talking about?"

"You actually put him under the name _Gayest Cat_? Lucky the girl in there knew me and didn't give me any shit when I demanded _Mr. Mustachio_!"

I tried to stop the smile from forming on my face. _Oh damn, my girl was so pissed at me._

"I told them that _perfectly non-gay_ name you gave him and they must have written down the other one from their subconscious."

My girl glared at me while I drove home chuckling lightly. I did love to mess with her.

* * *

Bella was about to graduate from CU, and damn could that girl get cocky talking about graduating early. It was also cute as hell. Bella had worked her ass off and now she got to reap the rewards. I was proud of her.

Two days before Bella's graduation I got a text from my sister's old boyfriend and current roommate while I was at work. I wasn't really sure what was going on with those two, and frankly I didn't give a shit. As long as Rose was fine, I was fine.

_WTF! Call me NOW! E._

_The fuck?_ No drama! Not right now.

I went to my cubicle and I dialed Emmett's home number, which is also my sister's number, since he had moved in with her due to his issues with selling steroids and getting kicked out of school.

"Hey man." Emmett answered.

"I don't want any fuckin' bad news. Don't say anything if that is all you got."

Silence.

"Emmett?"

"You told me not to say anything if all I had was drama."

"My sister?"

"Nope. Rose is good."

Alright. My sister is okay. If there was anything wrong with my mother, Rosie would call me. If it's Edward I will bitch slap Emmett.

"I don't give a shit about Edward."

Emmett didn't care if Edward and I didn't get along he would explain anyway, he thought that we were both idiots for letting a piece of tail get between us as friends. Never mind that the piece of tail he was referring to was _my_ Bella.

"He's alright. Diane kicked his ass out though." Emmett started laughing. "Apparently he never deleted the messages he was texting to Bella. What a tool, huh? He's moving back here to go to school at U Dub next semester."

"I don't give a shit! So what is it you called about? You selling shit harder than steroids?"

"Funny. No I am a new man. But I called to tell you something very important. Alice."

Holy shit! Not the name I was expecting. Although I should have. Bella and I are doing great. It would be just like Alice to fuck it up.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's all fucked up man."

"Em that is nothin' new. The girl was born fucked up." I said.

"She got thrashed down in California."

"Drugs I am sure. How do you know anyway?"

"My mom told me."

"Is she dead or somthin'?"

"Nope not yet. She went into a coma, after she got thrown out of a crack dealer's house. Something about a third story window."

"Well damn! But she's not dead?"

"Are you paying attention? Mary Alice Brandon. Is. In. A. Coma." Damn that asshole Emmett. If he wasn't so damn big, I would light his ass up.

"You're a dick." Way to tell him the obvious.

"Whatever. I thought you and Bella would want to know."

Well fuck, if Alice didn't cause more drama. I really didn't care about the kid she and Edward had together, but I was curious if my sister and her idiot boyfriend knew.

"Did your mom tell you that Edward and her had a kid?"

"Oh yeah, a long ass time ago. The kid's like ... what? Five now or something?"

"No, she's three." The big guy was an idiot with facts.

"Shit, I thought it was a boy."

"Thanks for telling me about it." Even though all of the details he had were totally wrong, it still would have been nice to beat the shit out of Edward back then too.

"Dude, your ex-girlfriend had a kid with your best friend, worst enemy, whatever! Why would I tell you? Just to piss you off? No way! Fuck that, Edward never brought it up anyway."

"Did Rose know?"

"I don't think so. The only reason my mom knew was because she was at the hospital to visit my Aunt when they brought Alice in. But Social Services and shit was there to take the kid. You know how that hospital is with secrecy."

I actually had no idea. I also didn't care.

"So what is going on with Alice's family?"

"Yeah, that's why I needed to talk to you. The family wants us all to come. She's gonna be a vegetable, or some shit."

"Why do they want us to come and see her?"

"They are gonna take her off life support and have a funeral for her."

I took a deep breath. I may have ended up hating Alice, but I never wished her harm and most definitely not death.

"You gonna come man?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Bella graduates from CU on Saturday. Her dad is coming up here." I was looking for the right words. I knew Emmett really didn't care. Alice was just a means to an end for him. My sister and Bella were probably the only two people who really gave a shit about her, and she fucked up her relationship with Bella, even before Bella knew it was fucked up.

"Oh yeah? Damn that chick is smart huh?"

"Yeah, she is."

Already we were onto a different subject. Could I really have cared so little for Alice? She had caused me more heartache then any other girl. But I had damaged her too. Now that she was gone I could feel remorse. But what was the point? I couldn't apologize. I couldn't make it better, for her. For Bella. For me.

I went home that night wondering if I should tell Bella. We were doin' good and I didn't want to fuck it up with our past shoving it's ugly ass back in our faces. We are happy now. But I didn't want to lie and I didn't want to ruin her graduation.

She solved the problem for me when I got inside the house.

"Hey baby." She came over and gave me a hug and a kiss. "Alice is in really bad shape. She isn't going to make it."

"Yeah, I know. I got a call from Emmett today."

Bella nodded in understanding. "Yeah. My dad called me. Rosie sent me a text to call her but her phone was busy."

"I guess we're going to California." I said walking into the bedroom.

"No her dad wanted her to die at home. He had Alice flown back to Washington. He's really a basket case I guess."

"We're goin to Forks?" I must have had a pained expression on my face.

"Yep. Sorry Jazzy. We gotta go home. We have to say goodbye to Alice."

**AN- Sorry this chapter took so long. I had new classes start and frankly I wasn't sure if I was going to put this in JPOV or BPOV. I told you guys I knew what happened to Alice. This is why there was no POV from her, that and I had no desire to write one. So please review cuz it feeds my addiction.**

**Pimpin???**

**I am a staff for the C2 Jasper/Bella Over 1,000 now. So if you know of any stories that revolve around these two most awesome characters, let us know!! And if you wanna par-ooze it, well then do!**

**Check out my one shot for the Greasers and Dolls contest called Sympathy For the Devil. It is a period piece taking place in 1953 after the end of the Korean War. Don't get your panties all in a bunch either it is a E/B story AU/AH Cannon. I like both E and J they are my all time faves Twilight boys! But my next one shot is Emmett and Jasper with our girl Bella...muaaahhhhaaa.**


	19. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, never said I did.**

**Mynxi is the fuckawesome beta! **

Songs for this chapter- **Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word**- Elton John and **Life for Rent**- DIDO and **Fallen**- Sarah McLachlan

Chapter describes difficult subjects, including rape, illegal drug use, and death.

Chapter 20 BPOV

"We're going home to say goodbye to Alice."

I watched Jasper's mouth agape.

Poor guy. He really had no desire to go back to Forks. Hell, me either! The last time we were there, well, it was complicated.

Out of everyone of us this news had to be the hardest on him. It didn't matter that he said he didn't love Alice when they were together; he had cared about her, regardless. Sure they were an atom bomb as a couple, but he stayed with her and she stayed with him. They had a connection.

Jasper wasn't an overly sensitive guy. He kept his feelings bottled up for the most part, but I knew in my heart he was heartbroken about this. Alice wasn't the best girlfriend, shit, she wasn't even a decent person, but no one should have to die completely alone. She didn't deserve that.

I hadn't thought about Alice except in passing over the years. She had been so odd towards me by the time high school graduation came around, and now I know that was because of her feelings towards Edward, and her knowledge of how Jasper felt about me. She used sex to try to get love, but all she ended up with was pain. I still hadn't gotten over the news of her having a baby with Edward, and now we were going to Forks to wait for Alice to die.

My father didn't want me to miss my graduation and for a second I did feel like I was losing something important. I felt guilty about it. Yes I had worked hard for what I was receiving, but Alice was dying. Her father had asked that we all come home to say goodbye. Whether or not I knew that Alice wasn't a good friend to me, her life was worth more than that, worth more than being tossed out of window like a piece of garbage. She may not have known it, but her father did, and if nothing else I was going to go back to Forks and support the man who lost his only child so senselessly.

I hadn't cried. But my heart sunk and I couldn't shake off a horrible feeling in my stomach. I walked into the bedroom where, Jasper had disappeared to, after I told him we were going to Forks. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but seeing him sitting on the bed hunching over resting his elbows on his knees with his head in his hands, my heart broke for him.

It was quiet. I couldn't even hear him breathing. I didn't know if I should comfort him or let him have a minute to grieve. My heart told me to go to him. Following my heart with Jasper had been right, more so since we came together at the end of January.

I walked over to stand in front of him, and started lightly touching his head.

Jasper kept his head down but grabbed me round the waist bringing me closer to him. He buried his face into my abdomen and held me securely to him.

No tears were shed by either one of us. But we both knew we had let her down. We both ignored the signs, wrapped up in our own heads and lives. Alice had died alone. We went to bed without so much as another word about Alice. But her memory was plaguing us both.

* * *

_My seventeenth birthday was a memorable one. Our goal was to get out of our collective houses without getting caught. All of us including the guys were grounded. We had disappeared for 24 hours the week before school started and all of our parents were still furious. We really hadn't done anything all that exciting; we went to Canada and just hung out. _

_But everything went crazy after we got back. Our parents had jointly gotten together and planned our punishment as a group event. None of us could see one another for two weeks. My birthday fell in the middle of the punishment and Alice was furious._

"_This is bullshit! You are going to turn seventeen! My mother is going to be passed out any minute and I swear we are coming over to get you." Alice promised with gritted teeth at 11:00 at night the day before my birthday._

_She didn't care if our punishment was extended indefinitely she was going to rescue Rose and I. _

_We were able to keep in contact with each other after we went back to school. Rose skipped cheer-leading practice to get all of us pre-paid cell phones. _

_I kept the cell phone under my pillow and listened for the light beep when I could speak to any one of them. Rose and Alice called me frequently, but Edward and I would stay listening to the other breath most times._

_At midnight I listened to my father get an emergency phone call and leave the house. Ten minutes after I watched his cruiser leave the driveway, my friends were at my back door, led by the diabolical brilliance of Mary Alice Brandon. She had gotten a couple of her friends from her old high school to help her. A car fire on a county road, a wig for her and Rose to sneak out the house, and an important emergency over night football training session in Port Angeles for the guys, she had somehow gotten the assistant coach to make the phone calls to the guys' parents for that one. I always meant to ask her how she did that._

_We were free. _

_We left in Emmett's SUV and headed to Edward's cabin. _

_We played poker and drank whiskey. I received three presents. One from each of the other couples and one from Edward. All the gifts were perfect as they were to be used for all six of us, gift certificates and such. I had never liked to be the center of attention but this night, these people made me feel safe. But the best part was we made a cake, in the breathtaking restaurant style kitchen of Esme's. _

_Drunk teenagers and cooking did not mix. _

_The cake looked horrible but it tasted delicious, whether it was the freedom or the friendship it was like eating ambrosia, and we ate it all before we were forced to leave the cabin to head back to town. The guys could enjoy their freedom by going back to the cabin after dropping us off until Monday morning, but Alice, Rose and I were stuck back in our jail cells inflicted by our parents._

_I called Alice after I got back home. Out of everyone I knew she had been the one that planned our great escape, so that I could have my birthday with them._

"_Alice?"_

"_Hey there! Do you miss us already?" She giggled._

"_I just wanted to say, thank you." I whispered._

"_Bella it was my pleasure. No girl should spend a birthday cooped up in her home! It's just not right." Two months later she started acting strange. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper started disappearing on Sundays confusing Rosalie and I. _

_Alice became erratic and difficult at times. None of us called her on it. Instead we all sat back and watched the show. The boys took advantage of the situation and eventually so did Rose. But I was the one who saw them with crystal clear vision. I saw Alice and I blew it off._

_If I had just gotten off my high horse maybe I could have helped her......_

* * *

"Baby! Wake up!"

I started to open my eyes and saw Jasper looking down at me. Our bedroom was still dark.

He had been trying to wake me up for a few minutes and looked upset.

"Bella there was nothing you could do. Alice didn't want help. You can't save someone that wanted to be ruined." Jasper pleaded.

"But none of us tried to help her!"

"No we didn't baby. But fuck, because we were kids! We were stupid kids and just like all kids we fuck up." He pulled me closer to his bare chest putting both of his arms around me in a gesture to make me feel safe. It worked. "We didn't save Alice. She didn't want to be saved. She didn't have to fuckin' take drugs. I'll admit I was a dick and I got pissed at her. But Baby? Dammit, Alice did this to herself, not us!"

"I'm sorry Jasper." I started to cry against his chest.

He rubbed up and down my back as if he was trying to warm me from the bitter cold.

"Bella I never told you this, I did try, I beat the shit out of her dealer. But I got pissed at her after she wouldn't stop and I just gave up. I ended up hating her for this shit! I think it made her do more." He sounded defeated.

Now we were trying to convince the other that we weren't responsible.

How could we have been responsible for Alice's behavior? Why were doing this to ourselves?

"Jasper." I grabbed his face in between my hands and brought his lips to mine. I kissed him gently.

He brought his head down and nuzzled his face against my breasts. "I fucked up, Baby. I hurt her the most."

"If I'm not responsible, then you're not responsible."

He nodded and sighed against my chest. "I loved you back then, Bella, that had to have hurt her. That was why she turned to Edward. She got worse after she figured it out." I felt wetness against my skin from my camisole. Jasper was crying.

I wrapped my arms around his body and enveloped him to me, kissing the top of his head. Jasper broke down and he allowed himself to let go of the guilt.

It was true; Alice had lived a life that obviously would end in a premature death. But that didn't mean we didn't need to mourn her and her horrible decisions, or ours for that matter.

Victoria drove Jasper and I to DIA after we dropped off Mr. Mustachio at the vet for boarding. She gave us both a hug and wished us luck as we went to check our luggage.

Jasper was being distant and it was making my heart sink.

I tried to grab his hand as we waited in line to get our tickets. He gave me a half hearted grin but didn't hold my hand back. I knew he was suffering so I didn't press it.

The plane ride was unbearably silent.

Jasper took the window seat and stared out of it almost every minute. My heart was pounding and my stomach was hurting. I would be missing graduation tomorrow. I was now regretting the fact that I was missing it. I felt selfish and horrible for that feeling. It wasn't like I didn't have at least two more graduations in my near future. I was now wondering if this was the only one that I would have had with Jasper waiting for me.

I would fight for him if he was planning on leaving me. I wouldn't let him walk away, at least not without walking over my sobbing and quivering body.

Still no words were being uttered between me and Jasper. I couldn't help but think I was making a mistake not talking to him.

"Jasper?" I was looking at the back of his head. Finally tired of memorizing his honey blond curls and waves.

"Hmm?" He moaned but didn't turn to see me.

"Please look at me."

I heard him let out a soft sigh.

I was annoying him now. To continue ignoring him would have been better. "Sorry." I whispered and looked to the floor in the isle.

The plane landing didn't change Jasper's silence and now my resignation to our predicament.

Rosalie and Jasper's mother were waiting for us at the baggage claim.

Jasper was at least one step ahead of me, and I was practically running to keep up due to him due to his long stride.

"Hey Momma." Jasper said in a sweet voice, Carol Hale brought him into a strong hug and then she looked over at me.

"Aw Bella! Look at you, Darlin'. You are the prettiest lil' thing ever!" She squealed.

Carol pulled me into a tight hug and I looked over her shoulder to see Jasper and Rosalie speaking quietly. My already overly-sensitive psyche was sure they were discussing me or Jasper and my relationship. I wanted to know what they were saying. I wanted to cry even while being held by this strong woman I had always adored.

"Sweet lord, Jasper! It took this foolish heartbreak to get you home and let me see you with Bella?" Carol said to her son. He smiled lightly at her, avoiding eye contact with me. Carol didn't notice but Rosalie did.

She grabbed my hand as we walked to Carol's car. "What is going on, are you guys fighting?"

I waited a second before I started talking and Rosalie stopped us letting Jasper and her mother get further ahead while they were also deep in conversation.

"Bella? What happened?"

"He's just upset about Alice. Nothing is the matter."

"Why would he be upset?" She wasn't letting this go. But I wasn't going to air our dirty laundry to his twin sister.

"Rose can we just let this go please?" I pleaded with her. "It's hard enough that we have to see Alice all mangled and then go to her funeral!"

"Bella?" I walked away from her and started toward Carol's car. Jasper sat in the back with me which I didn't expect. I should have but I didn't.

He finally reached over and grabbed my hand. He was looking outside the window and sometimes contributing to his mother or sister's inquiries.

I stared at his large hand covering my smaller one. He began rolling his thumb over the knuckles in soothing soft motions. Once again I was ready to cry for what felt like the fiftieth time since we got up this morning.

"Now Jasper, are you and Bella staying with me and Harry or with her daddy?"

I was still looking at our hands when he squeezed and I looked up at him. His eyes were full of sorrow and apology. "We're gonna stay at the motel Mom." He said.

"Oh alright. I understand. You two need your privacy." She cooed.

My breath hitched at Jasper's answer.

At least we were staying together. I wasn't sure if he was going to dump me.

Jasper's mother dropped us off at the Motel 6 on Highway 34, and promised to have her boyfriend help her drop off Jasper's old car for us to travel around in.

I went directly into the bathroom and splashed water on my face. When I came out I was pulled into a hard chest with arms holding me like manacles.

"I am an asshole. I felt like such a dick for last night." Jasper said into my hair.

"What?" I started to cry immediately.

"You know? Baby, I acted like a pussy."

"This is about your crying last night?"

He was quiet and squeezed me closer to him.

"That is why you've been so weird?" I was shocked. "I...you...think I thought less of you?"

"Yeah." He stated.

I looked up at his face. Jasper was completely sincere. He backed up and sat on the bed holding my hand.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I don't know I just lost it."

"I loved that you cried, Jasper." I said to him quietly while sitting next to him on the bed.

He shook his head and said something only a guy would say.

"Fuck, only a chick would say that."

We both laughed and sat back on the bed to watch television. Talking was over rated. We were both happy, I turned our morning into a drama and he was embarrassed. Really it needed to end there.

Harry Clearwater drove Jasper's old car, a freakin Chevy Nova. God my man had great taste in cars!

"This one is mine, right?" I asked with my most innocent eyes.

Jasper looked over at me like I just grew a second head. "Baby, you gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me. This is a classic 1978 Chevy Nova! Look at this." He waved me over and popped the hood. "Look at this 350 V8 high lift cam, chrome thermostat. I got duel exhaust with glass pucks, a stock TH350 transmission...."

I cut him off, "And this bitch is named what?"

He smiled coyly. "This one is called Isabelle. And she ain't no bitch."

I leaned in and kissed him and repeated my first statement. "Like I said this one is mine."

Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Baby." He hugged me close and then he squeezed me close to him, it was time to go to the hospital. "Let's go. We gotta do this so Mr. Brandon can have the funeral on Sunday."

Jasper opened the passenger door for me like he always does and got in starting his beloved _Isabelle, _with a couple of engine revs. "Harry's been takin' good care of this girl for me."

"Why don't you bring it back to Colorado? Why didn't you take it to Texas?"

"When I left for Texas my mom needed this. Her car had finally died so I left this since I was livin' on campus. Then when Harry and her got together she was able to afford her own and put Izzy in storage for me. Now Harry keeps her in mint condition for me."

Just as he finished his sentence the smile that was gracing his beautiful lips turned into a frown, the hospital was straight ahead. My heart sunk. Today we say goodbye to a friend who wasn't very good to us and that none of us were good to at all.

Jasper and I got onto the elevator and went to the third floor. We held hands tightly.

When the doors opened we were greeted with the presence of Rosalie and Emmett. I let out a little breath of relief that we didn't have to deal with Edward before we saw Alice.

Emmett was sitting on a chair with his ear buds in listening to his IPod. His eyes were closed. Rosalie looked stressed chewing her fingernails standing next to Emmett constantly switching her footing in nervousness.

"Hey." Jasper said to Rosalie.

"Hey, Jazzy. Hey, Bella." She started to cry then and Jasper enveloped her small body into one of his protective hugs.

Emmett looked up and noticed us; he simply jetted out his chin to us in acknowledgement. I gave him a small wave and sat across from him.

There was another young woman sitting a few seats away from me who was watching all of us with wide questioning eyes. When she and I finally locked eyes she gave me a small smile.

"Your Bella, huh?"

I nodded.

The stranger got up and moved a seat closer to me. "Hi. My name is Renata. I went to Saint Mary's with Mary Alice. She told me all about you guys."

"Hi. I'm sorry, I can't remember if Alice mentioned you." I lied. Alice refused to talk about the people she knew in Port Angeles. When she would talk about them she would simply call them "friends from my old life".

Renata shook her light brown hair and smiled lightly. "She wouldn't have. Mary Alice hated SM's."

"Oh." I knew the others were watching our exchange. But I really wanted their help to continue this conversation because I had no idea what else to say to Renata.

We moved into an uncomfortable silence and waited. Dr. Gerandy came out of what I assumed was Alice's room since I didn't pay attention to rooms after I saw Rosalie and Emmett when we came off the elevator.

Dr. Gerandy spoke to no one in particular when he asked, "Is everyone here?"

Mr. Brandon walked out of the room and looked each of us in the eye. "Cullen's not here. But I don't want my daughter to suffer anymore. Go ahead. Let them see her and then we will shut it off."

My heart broke for the man. His only child was being taken off life support and he still made sure we all had a chance to say goodbye to Alice.

"Can you all just go in as a group though?" Mr. Brandon asked in a sad voice.

"Yes, of course, Sir." Jasper spoke for the group and held out his hand for Mr. Brandon. They shook hands tentatively and it looked like Mr. Brandon started to tear up. He quickly broke from Jasper and walked briskly down the hall towards the restrooms.

"Okay, guys. This is not going to be easy. Mary Alice's skull was severely damaged in the fall and she is still very swollen. She probably won't look familiar to any of you anymore." He cleared his voice. "As soon as all of you have said your goodbyes, we will shut off the machines. Mr. Brandon would not ask it of you, but I think the reason he wanted all of you here is so he could have a piece of Mary Alice left. The people who knew her when she was a kid. I understand if you can't stay, but if you are able to, please wait, until Mary Alice is gone. He is going to need someone to help him."

Just as Dr. Gerandy finished the elevator opened and Edward was walking towards us. Jasper immediately grabbed my hand but still gave Edward a nod as did Emmett.

Dr. Gerandy stepped out of the way and one by one we slowly entered Alice's room with Jasper first and me right behind.

Alice looked alien to me.

I hadn't believed that she would look completely different but she did. It was horrifying. I felt even sadder for her father.

Her tiny body was the same but her head was black and blue and swollen beyond recognition. I heard a gasp from behind me. It was female but I had no idea who made the noise.

The burn in my eyes started and suddenly I was being hugged by Jasper with him whispering in my ear. "Baby. She'll be in a better place once this is all over." I nodded against his chest and let out a sob. Although Jasper was a self described sinner, he believed wholeheartedly in Heaven and Hell.

The three guys didn't cry openly like the three of us women, but their features were pained and their breathing was as ragged as ours.

"If she had just allowed herself to believe, she was better than this!" Mr. Brandon whispered from the door.

"I am so sorry, Mr. Brandon." Renata was the first to give him a hug and offer her condolences. "She was a good friend to me when we were at Saint Mary's together."

"Thank you Rennie. You two were the best of friends before....Mary Alice adored you and Tia."

"Tia wanted to come too. She wasn't able to get a flight. She will be here on Saturday for the wake and for the funeral on Sunday."

Mr. Brandon nodded at her and kissed her forehead. We all watched in awe. Did any of us have a close enough relationship with Mr. Brandon to hug him? He barely acknowledged any of us. Renata was obviously part of Alice's life before she became the girl we knew. Maybe he blamed us for what she became.

Mr. Brandon turned to the five of us and the slight smile on his lips faded. "The funeral will be Sunday at 11:00. I will have a wake for her tomorrow. I would appreciate it if you would all attend." He pushed past Jasper and me and made his way over to Alice's head.

We stood in awed silence as he kissed her bruised and scratched cheek. The tears he was shedding leaving small trails of wetness down Alice's face to the sheet below. He sat back in the chair that I hadn't noticed was beside the hospital bed and stared at his lifeless daughter.

Renata walked out of Alice's room back to the hallway.

"Mr. Brandon?" I said quietly.

He turned and looked at me with the same beautiful eyes his daughter had.

"We are so sorry. We all loved her." He nodded and gave me a slight grin as if in appreciation. He turned back to his daughter and we all walked out.

Renata was standing outside the door. She waved her hands for us to follow her. Rosalie and I immediately did, all three of the guys hung back.

Renata spun around and with tears streaming down her face she spoke."Mary Alice never told you guys what happened to her. Did she?"

Rosalie and I both shrugged.

"Mary Alice wasn't always like that." Renata's voice cracked and the tears started coming more quickly. "She only started using after....."

"After what?" Rosalie asked.

"Mary Alice's mom would never let her ride the bus but she would sometimes forget to pick her up after school, because she was a total loser!" Renata's breath hitched. She was working herself into being hysterical. "She used to have to meet her mom at this shit-hole bar in town. And that nasty bitch would show up late and Mary Alice would have to wait for her...in that place. Can you imagine? A fourteen year old girl in a Catholic school girl uniform! Jesus she practically had abuse me written on her forehead!"

I slapped my hand over my mouth. It was all clear now.

"Mary Alice was raped in the back room. She was gang raped. They just left her there, in that fucking filth! She told Tia and me what happened after a few weeks of skipping school and shit. But the TA, Chelsea, at our school started to figure out stuff, and well she, um, Chelsea wanted to help Mary Alice. So she started feeding Mary Alice pills. It helped. Because at least Mary Alice was able to stop crying all the time. Then finally it led up to meth. Then Mary Alice would start going back to that bar, all the time. She needed the money because she was hooked on that shit by then!" Renata stopped and started to compose her breathing.

"Mary Alice would go back. She started charging those sick fucks. She would wear her uniform for those mother fuckers and she went back every weekend."

"Oh my God!" Rosalie breathed out.

I couldn't speak.

I was stunned.

"Her father found out about the bar crap because some of his friends went there and saw Mary Alice selling herself. He moved them all to Forks a week later. He never knew that she was raped. She just took her parents abuse and disappointment. They made up the story about her being expelled. She fucking thought she deserved it! You guys needed to know that she was really a sweetheart....before."

My heart broke for Alice.

Alice was broken before any of us even met her.

**AN- Sorry. Emotional! I cried while writing the end of this chapter. **

**Everyone handles guilt and pain so differently. Alice was a sad shell of a person, she shut off her emotions long before she even met this group. Don't feel bad that you didn't like Alice previously (if you do). She gave no reason for anyone to care about her truly. But now you know that she wasn't a cruel person, she was just sad and looking for everyone else to make her feel better or feel as shitty as she did. **

**A lot of us have those secrets that try and destroy our soul. This was Alice's and she let it. **

**I thought the lyrics from Dido's song Life For Rent were perfect for the feelings Alice might have been going through. **

Alice's Song

Life For Rent- Dido

I haven't ever found a place that I can call home

I never stick around quite long enough to make it

I apologize that once again I'm not in love

But it's not as if I mind your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

_But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy_

_Well I deserve nothing more than I get_

_Cuz nothing I have is truly mine _

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea

To travel the world alone and live more simply

I have no idea what's happened to the dream

Cuz there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

_But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy_

_Well I deserve nothing more than I get_

_Cuz nothing I have is truly mine _

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down

While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try

Well how can I stay alive

_But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy_

_Well I deserve nothing more than I get_

_Cuz nothing I have is truly mine _


	20. Chapter 21

**I don't own Twilight, if I did, I wouldn't be working in a shit job!**

**This chapter is Jasper-speak, because I know how much you guys love it when it is! =D**

**Songs for the chapter Broken by Lifehouse and Just Breath by Pearl Jam **

Chapter 21 JPOV

Alice looked like shit.

Damn, that is a horrible thing to say. But she did!

Alice was such a pretty girl in high school. I mean really pretty. She had the palest skin and her black hair. Fuck!

We had all promised not to leave the hospital until after Alice had passed away. Well I didn't promise that shit, Bella promised it for me. Story of my fucking life now. She owned my ass.

So I am sitting here in the hallway outside my dying ex-girlfriend's hospital room with Emmett and fucking Edward. My sister and my girl took off with that chick I didn't recognize down the hall and around the corner. Only chicks would make buddies at a time like this.

Edward was watching me sitting directly across the hallway in his own incredibly uncomfortable chair.

"What Edward?" I didn't really care but I needed him to say something instead of staring at me.

"Nothing." He pouted. Edward Cullen is a fucking perpetual ten-year old, which is reason enough to want to beat the fuck out of him again in my book.

"Then stop looking at me like you wanna suck my dick."

This got Emmett laughing loud and disturbing everybody else on the hospital floor. Damn that boy has got some lungs.

"Shut the fuck up Jasper!" Eddie's getting mad.

_Baby boy wants to play_? _Okay, I'm game_. I smiled wide and got ready.

Bella and Rose came back around the corner then. _Game over. Damn!_

"God, would you guys stop yelling!" Rose quietly chastised us.

I noticed that both she and Bella had fresh new tear stained cheeks.

Bella's eyes were swollen. "Baby?" I grabbed her hand and she sat down next to me. I pulled her into a tight hug. She let out another sob against my chest.

I tried to calm her.

But Bella's body was just shaking. I looked over at Rose who had taken up the seat next to me instead of by Emmett, she still had tears rolling down her face. "What the fuck did that chick tell you guys?"

Rose took a deep breath, and then she leaned in to my ear and started telling me what had happened to Alice before we met her.

That new chick, Remmy, or whatever the fuck her name was, told Bella and Rose some seriously fucked up shit!

Alice had been raped. Not just that, but her parents, that psycho mother of Alice's, just made her feel that much worse. So drugs became her medication.

Trying to wrap my brain around everything, the only thing I could think of was Alice's fetish. Or at least what I thought was her fetish at the time.

Alice was the one who wanted to fuck all three of us, Edward, Emmett and myself at once. I thought it was a fucked up request at the time. But now knowing that Alice had been gang raped, her fetish wasn't that at all it was some fucked up kind of coping technique. A way to control a situation, maybe?

None of us would have hurt her physically. Jesus, we were just stupid teen-aged boys who thought we hit the fucking Penthouse Forum jackpot.

The drugs and the sex were Alice's way of trying to numb her demons.

The girl lying in the hospital room ten feet away from where we were all sitting waiting for her death was a true tragedy.

"Are you okay Jasper?" I heard my angel's voice breaking me from a reverie. Bella was looking at me with concern holding a Styrofoam cup full of steaming coffee out to me.

"What?" She looked blurry almost.

"Baby, you've been sitting there in a trance for about ten minutes. I thought maybe some coffee could help you."

"Fuck. I don't know what...." I trailed off. What the hell was I thinking? Alice. What kind of damage had I done to her? I sure as shit didn't help her feel worth while.

Bella set down next to me, still holding the cup. She looked at me with brown eyes. Damn those innocent sweet eyes. "You did nothing wrong." She said quietly to me.

"Really? I never knew how fucked up she was."

"How could you? She didn't tell anyone. Not even her parents. Geeze, if anything the people that should have known were Rosie and me. We were her best friends. If we had been good friends we could have helped her."

I took the cup of coffee and put my arm around Bella's shoulder and pulled her close to me. Of course my girl was gonna try and take this shit on herself. Fuckin' selfless Bella and constantly reproachful Alice. Damn I had made some seriously fucked up choices in women.

I smiled for the first time since we saw Alice in her hospital bed.

I thought about the first time I met Alice.

Rose had brought her to the house after the two of them met in Port Angels. They had both been spotted shop lifting and ended up running from security to the parking lot.

Alice was like a stray when Rose brought her home. I heard my sister's voice and laugh that sounded like bells come from the kitchen. I walked in and I saw this innocent girl with bright blue eyes and short black hair. She was wide eyed and so beautiful. But about ten seconds after her and I made eye contact she transformed in front of me, from an innocent angel to a sexy bitch, within a couple blinks of an eye.

At sixteen and completely ruled by my dick, I was all over the sexy bitch she was throwing at me.

My mother had brought home pizza that night for dinner for us before she had to go to her second job as graveyard supervisor at Gas and Sip. After my mother left, Alice grabbed my already growing erection and led me to my bedroom. We fucked after having known each other for thirty minutes.

So yeah, I was in love with Alice, my fucked up version of it anyway. That is until I saw Bella. Then all bets were off. But fuck, Alice saw Edward the same way I saw Bella, and Alice couldn't stop herself from pointing her barely there tits in his direction every chance she got.

We were pretty fucking even in my book. At least that was what I thought at the time. I had no idea Alice's real goal was to destroy herself from the inside out with as many available dicks as possible. I was an asshole.

But how the fuck was I supposed to know what a mess Alice really was? Bella was right she and Rose would have been able to help Alice, if they had been given the opportunity. I may be a piece of shit for thinking this but not every woman that gets raped turns herself into a permanent victim!

Fuck! My opinions about this situation and Alice's story were changing rapidly.

I was actually getting more pissed at Alice now, than I was when we broke up in damn high school. A strong woman would get her life back, not become drug addicted walking pity party.

Bella could feel it.

"Jasper? What's wrong?"

"I am mother fucking pissed off!"

"I know it's awful what happened to her." Bella said sweetly.

"Ah, no. She became a fucking drug addict and fucked every guy she could get her hands on to make herself feel worse."

"That's a terrible thing to say. She was a victim."

"At first, yeah. What happened at that bar was bullshit!" Bella had put her finger up to her lips to try and quiet me. "Why the hell shouldn't her father know?"

"It will break his heart!" Bella said to me anger lacing her voice.

"He should know that what he and his fucked up wife did helped make Alice worse!" I brought my voice down because frankly, Bella pissed at me was not how I wanted to spend my evening.

"Dammit Jasper! It won't help anything now! You don't know if it would hurt his grieving." She said breathing in hard.

"It shouldn't be easy on him, Bella. She was his daughter! He should have protected her. Her idiot mother should be fuckin' strung up on a bridge. Alice's dad should fucking know!" I spit out.

Bella looked around in that moment and I then realized that everyone was watching us including Mr. Brandon in the doorway to Alice's room.

He looked confused staring at me without blinking.

"What should I have known about Mary Alice, Jasper?"

I took in a deep breath. Emmett and Edward were staring at me like the two clueless idiots they always were. Apparently, I was the only one with balls aware of what happened to Alice. _Fine, whatever._

"Mr. Brandon, Sir. May I speak to you in private for a couple minutes?" I could see in my peripheral Bella's brown orbs the size of saucers gaping at me. _Alright, so I was gonna have a pissed of Bella tonight. So fucking be it! _ If it was my daughter I would want to know there was a fuckin' reason she wasted her damn life. Especially if it was partly my fault. I would at least be able to honor and love her like I should have done when she was alive!

Mr. Brandon walked back into Alice's room and I followed him leaving Bella sitting next to the seat I had just vacated, fuming. _Fuck_!

I closed Alice's hospital room door and avoided Bella's eyes.

"I heard a little of what you and Bella were talking about, Jasper. But I don't know the specifics. What is it I should know?" His voice broke. "What did we do to her?"

"Sir, I just heard about this myself. Apparently, Alice was raped at that bar her mother used to make her meet her at when she was a freshman."

Now I saw why Bella wanted me to keep my dumb fuckin' mouth shut.

The man staggered backwards grabbing his daughter's bed rail for support. I reached out and helped steady him.

"That was why she was there that night selling herself?" His voice didn't even sound human. He looked at Alice who was now removed from all of the machinery and slowly dying naturally.

_Whatever the fuck that means._

Mr. Brandon grabbed Alice's small cold hand. "Mary Alice? I am so sorry, Princess." He knelt down by her bed and kissed her hand.

"Holy shit what have I done?" I said under my breath.

I started for the door to give him the last little bit of time he needed with his only child.

"Jasper. Don't go." I turned to face him.

Mr. Brandon let go of Alice's hand and walked over to me. I couldn't tell if he was pissed but I was prepared for swift kick in the gut. The guy deserved to fuck someone up after hearing this shit.

"Mary Alice's mother used to say the most horrible things to her about what happened. She never told us. We weren't..... I just should have protected her. I know that now." He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "Thank you, Son."

The first and only time Alice's dad ever touched me or called me son was at her death bed. _Life is fucked up._

"So you're not mad at me?" I asked feeling like a little kid, with a man who was a half foot shorter than me.

"No, Jasper. None of you knew, that was the impression I got."

I shook my head in agreement to his observation.

"I would have gotten her help." He assured me.

"Of course you would have, Sir." I believed him. He was a good dad as far as I saw. Alice's mother, that bitch could rot in hell. Although, I had no clue where she was. I also wasn't about to ask.

He shook his head and walked back over to Alice. "She didn't have to suffer alone."

Mr. Brandon started to quietly weep again while I walked out of the room.

I felt like I had done the right thing. Then I came face to face with three royally pissed off chicks. One I was sleeping with, one I was related to, the other one, well, I couldn't even pronounce that one's name. But damn each one of them scared the fuck out of me.

"What?" I asked like an asshole.

Emmett and Edward looked terrified like I had left them out in the hall with fucking the Witches of Eastwick or something.

But these women did look vicious. I sat down like a good boy next to the other two idiots with balls waiting for the inevitable. While the three with raging estrogen levels sat across from us.

Unfortunately, all three sets of crazy eyed women were focused on me.

An alarm sounded and two nurses and a new doctor came down the hall, well I didn't know who he was.

They ran into Alice's room and we all stood up and listened.

Suddenly I was a good guy again, because Bella was next to me grabbing one of my hands with both of her tiny ones. I leaned in and kissed her forehead. She didn't have to agree with me, but at least I knew I was right.

Mr. Brandon came out and thanked us all for waiting with him to help his daughter go home to the Lord. He started to walk down the hall, when the chick whose name I couldn't pronounce asked him if he wanted a ride home.

Mr. Brandon smiled at her and then looked at all of us. "No, I'll be fine Renata. Thank you all. I know this was difficult for all of you as well."

It was like the air had been drained out of the building. The six of us began looking at one another like we were lost or something. I heard them start to move Alice's bed and all of us stepped back to give them the room they needed to pull that tiny girl on the huge bed out of there for the morgue.

We all watched in quiet misery while they wheeled her to the elevator.

A few minutes later we all started breathing again.

"What the fuck are we supposed to do now?" Emmett asked in an exaggerated voice.

"Well, I gotta get back down to Port Angeles. Are you guys all going to be at the wake and the funeral?" The chick with no name asked.

Bella answered affirmatively and Rose nodded in agreement. We were. No name chick walked away.

"I just want to go see my dad and you should see your mom." Bella whispered in my ear. I nodded and grabbed her hand. The five of us rode the elevator together but didn't speak. Bella and I holding hands, Emmett had a protective arm around Rose, and Eddie Boy looked kinda lonely, maybe he could hook up with the chick with no name. She didn't look like she was married.

Bella and I both hugged my sister as we were departing the hospital. Thankfully my sweet girl remembered that I am incredibly territorial and so she didn't bother to hug the E Team. She just gave both of them a small wave and we left.

An evening of tears with the women in my life was fun don't get me wrong. _Not! _ It wasn't bad while Bella and I were with Charlie, but when I got Bella, Rose and my mother together, oh fuck me, that was like Chinese water torture. Tears and laughing were mixed with the constant talking. I stayed in the living room with Harry and Emmett while we all tried to ignore our cackling crying hens.

Bella and I got back to the motel room exhausted. We both fell asleep quickly.

The next morning was spent helping Mr. Brandon prepare for his daughter's wake and funeral. Bella and I were in charge of making deserts for the wake. Apparently it's a cocktail party when someone dies with these people. Whatever, who am I to judge?

I obviously took over for my girl in her dad's kitchen. The girl couldn't crack an egg without serving you pieces of the shell.

Charlie and Bella ended up talking about Alice and her mother. It was sweet how Charlie loved on his daughter. I honestly never saw a father who was good with his kids. Mine sucked ass, obviously. Alice's dad was always critical with her until I saw him last night; my friend's fathers were all distant with them.

Seeing my girl and her dad made me smile. They included me in every part of their conversation too.

It felt good, not that my mom wasn't a great mother. She was. It's just she was raising two teenagers on her own, without any education, so she had to work shit jobs for shit pay. She loved us, fuck she would have died for us, but she wasn't home a whole hell of a lot. So I just didn't know her real well.

The wake was weird.

But the alcohol was great.

The five of us ended up in the kitchen of Alice's father's house, avoiding all the good people of Forks, who really didn't give a shit about Alice or us for that matter. We all wore black. Bella looked amazing, tight black sweater and a tight little skirt. High heeled boots, damn! How bad is it that I wanted to fuck her the whole time we were there?

"Alright, so are we all just gonna go our separate ways tomorrow after the funeral?" Edward asked.

"What the fuck do you want us to do?" I asked. Praying I wasn't going to have to beat his ass tonight because he was having impure thoughts about my girl.

"No, I was just thinking we could go to the cabin. Alice always had fun up there." He shrugged. He looked at the floor at least he wanted us to think he had. I was pretty sure his eyes were at Bella's chest.

The tight sweater that hugged her tits was now mocking me.

He was right about that one thing though. Alice did love that cabin. It was always something that made her happy and act her age. The girls would wander off, hiking and such, and stay gone for a couple hours while we played poker or threw the football around, but they always came back giggling and looking so cute. Alice hardly ever smiled unless she was high, except for the times at the cabin.

"That would be fun. We haven't been there since prom!" My sister squealed.

I took a drink of my Corona and looked at Bella who was studying me out of the corner of her eye. It had been six months since we hung out with these people, and I am including my sister in this bullshit. How Bella and I finally got together was still paramount in both of our minds. The orgy itself wasn't a problem, but another one would be.

I would never ask Bella to do that kinky shit again anyway. Fuck, I had no desire to do it. Once I got Bella to believe in me, I was done. My dick and my heart finally found their perfect home. Both belonged inside Bella.

Bella's eyes told me everything I needed to know. They were questioning but trusting. I had been with her long enough to know her moods and her tell tail signs of discontent, she wasn't interested in this idea at all. So we weren't going. Whether it was the plan or not, we didn't need to find out.

I put my beer on the counter and pulled Bella closer to me, with both of us facing "our friends" and whispered into her ear, "I don't wanna go. Do you?"

She shook her head slightly and pushed herself back into me securely.

"Let's get out of here, okay?" I said into her beautiful soft chestnut hair.

She nodded again, and I could feel in the air that she was biting her lower lip again.

"Hey guys, we're out a here." I said.

"Oh come on you guys!" Emmett whined.

Edward looked at me like he was gonna blow a fuse. Of course he was after Bella, again. He can't help himself. The minute me or him ever laid eyes on her, we both wanted her.

"Emmett, this really isn't a party." Bella said matter of factly to him.

"I know!" Rose started laughing. She was drunk. I predicted an interesting evening for her. I knew once Bella was out of the equation Edward's eyes would be on my sister's ass.

But Rose wasn't interested anymore.

She thought he was a dick for not raising his own daughter. Like with Bella, I could have given a shit less about him or his kid. But then as Bella and I were leaving I saw Edward's mother holding the little girl who was sound asleep in her shoulder.

"Hi, Bella, Jasper." Esme whispered, as she walked down the hallway to the front door.

"Is this Elizabeth?" Bella cooed excitedly.

Esme smiled at her and nodded. She turned around so we could see the little girl who was amazingly pale, like Alice. But with a head of bronze hair, just like that fuckin' asshole Edward. She was a beautiful little girl.

My mind started racing again after seeing Elizabeth.

That beautiful little girl should have been reason enough for Alice to get her shit together. People get sober all the time whether or not they had been physically violated. What the fuck was the statistic? Three out of every five females are raped. Not all of them hide in a syringe. Most of them put on their big girl panties and live their damn lives! Pressed charges or just moved the fuck on!

I was pissed at Alice again. But this time, the anger was intensified ten fold. I didn't want to go to her funeral.

When I told Bella, she simply told me that we were going and if I had to think about not going for Alice, then to do so. I was just going for Elizabeth and Alice's father. Bella was right, which pissed me off too.

We got back to the motel where I sat on the end of the bed and pouted. Bella started massaging my shoulders not giving me shit about my bad mood was helpful.

"Do you wanna have kids?" I asked without thinking about it.

Bella's massage took a small stop and then started up again.

"I guess. Sure. I mean yes. Definitely. Not now though." Bella stuttered with her answer.

I nodded.

"Do you?" She asked tentatively.

"Fuck yeah! I want a lot of them." I said without a hint of humor.

I did too. I had always wanted a lot of kids. I just didn't want them yet. That was until I saw the little girl tonight. Can a guy have a biological clock? Because all of a sudden I had a hammering in my balls to get Bella pregnant.

"How many is a lot?"

She stopped massaging my shoulders and went to lay on her stomach next to me.

"What's the matter? Did you like being an only child?" I asked.

Bella looked at me with those sweet eyes. She was thinking about her answer.

"Actually no. I was way too shy growing up. And I always had a feeling if I had had a sister or brother I wouldn't have been so lonely after my mom died. My dad wasn't really available for awhile after that."

She seemed surprised by her own answer.

"I loved and hated having a sister. I loved having her around when all that shit happened with my dad, but I hated sharing a birthday."

Bella's sweet laughter filled the room. "You are a selfish son of a bitch aren't you?"

She rose up on her knees and laced her fingers through my hair. I brought my hands to her hips and pulled her close, so she could feel me.

"You know it, Baby." I kissed her deeply. Using my tongue along her lips and then when she opened her amazing mouth, I got to explore that too.

She pulled away suddenly with wide eyes. "I can't have a kid until I get through medical school and possibly my residency."

I chuckled. "Deal." I could wait. As long as I had Bella, I would wait until she was ready to start makin' babies. But the practice would begin tonight. I was not takin' no for an answer. Not tonight. I needed her too bad, and the hammering in my balls was relentless.

She relaxed back into the kiss. I brought my hands around to her ass and squeezed. I started to rub my fingers along the soft fabric covered crack slightly lifting her skirt and bringing her impossibly closer to me.

"Baby." Bella said.

"What?"

She pulled back and grabbed the edge of her pretty black V neck sweater showing me a beautiful lace bra. That had to be new because I would have remember something that was completely lace and showed her those dusty rose nipples. This was now officially my favorite bra.

"Damn, when did you get this?"

Bella smiled coyly. She reached behind her back and unhooked it; she dropped her arms letting the beautiful lace object fall between us.

I unbuttoned my black shirt. Watching her. She unbuttoned her skirt which was latched at the side and then she went to lay on her back to kick it off. I stood up to remove my pants and boxer briefs and went to help her with her black pantyhose along with her panties.

I licked down the inside of her legs as I brought down the last two pieces of fabric that was holding my girl hostage from me. I stood at the end of the bed to admire this beautiful goddess, but my dick was taking the lead, and thank God she wanted it to.

Bella opened her legs for me to crawl right in between them. She was already wet and ready and I don't think I could have done anything remotely good for her with foreplay so why not just get down to some action?

I slid inside her fully in one stroke. Bella arched her back and pushed her tits into my chest with a moan that sounded so erotic my dick must have grown another three inches.

I started slow and easy, but my brain was only working for so long before my cock took over.

Bella underneath me was the most incredible sight I have ever seen. The way her face showed every feeling she was having. Her eyes, whether closed or open still told me so much. Her mouth forming an O when I was hitting her deep inside just right, and when she bit her lower lip right before she came, every single time, made me love her even more.

Bella's moans intertwined with my cussing and grunts made a beautiful fucking song, I thought. But like every time I was inside her it ended to soon. Her pussy clenching around my cock milking it meant it was over. The heavy labored breathing from both us told me we were successful in our time together tonight.

I pulled Bella close to me after I rolled off of her. Her tiny fingers splayed out over my chest. Her long chestnut hair tangled and chaotic hanging over my arm. This was good. This is the way life was supposed to be.

Bella fell asleep soon after. Her even breaths quietly coming through her perfectly pink lips. I tried to watch Bella sleep but I couldn't get the day's bullshit out of my mind.

Alice was a beautiful, smart, vibrant girl. Who only showed those qualities to a very few and for only for very short periods of time. She wasted her life in self pity and doubt. She allowed drugs to take her down a road she wasn't strong enough to pull herself back from. She allowed herself to become dejected from anything positive.

Alice and I had wasted our time together as a couple, I had always known that. But I should have been a better friend to her. I knew she had problems, but I had been so wrapped up in my own bullshit and then my obsession with Bella, that I was useless to Alice.

I had done the same thing as Alice though. I allowed my insecurities to rule my life too. It only took a few words to make me want to be better. Bella had done that for me. She forgave me; she took me into her heart and let me stay there.

Alice never got someone to be like Bella was to me.

She had thought it was Edward. She was wrong, that guy could only be damage to a girl. He didn't know how to do anything else.

So instead she gave up. That was the biggest waste of all.

**AN- Okidokie lemon pokey.... I think I am having an anxiety attack! Hows about the Mile High club for our favorite duo in next chappy?? Some of you were expecting another orgy...seriously?**

**If you're on FFFW it's time to nominate for the Fannie's!!! I would like to remind you to also really show the love on the nomination form! T-FAB loves it...*winks* **

**If your on then read read read...check out all the C2's it narrows down the categories and damn if therr aren't some cool ones! **

**Pimpin-**

**Jaspurrr Pimpin**

**A Reason to Exist by Cullen818....Jasper and Bella. She started it as a one shot but damn it's getting good!**

**Sassafrass Junction by Vampish Vixen.....this is a re-pimp because it it AWESOME!**

**Saving Bella by mynxi......They are finally getting ready to get to knockin' boots! Yeehaw!**

**Now sum Edward Pimp =D**

**Nothing I Want More by MidnightKat......Eddievamp is so fine!**

**Ride the Wind- Yummy Harleyward**

**Do you see the green button? Yeah! Okay, use it and tell me if you liked this chapter! Thx xodana**


	21. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight.**

**Beta Mynxi is the bomb! Thank you to Cindy for her gentle guidance during this chappy! Mary you are the sweetest for my heart of love! Love my Jasper lovin friends!! Vampish Vixen and Rosella Whitlock and all the rest of em!**

**Songs for this chapter- Let Me Blow Your Mind by Eve w/ Gwen Stefani and Hold Tight by Dave Dee and What's Going On by 4 Non Blondes**

Chapter 22

Standing in the kitchen of Alice's house with Jasper and the rest of my high school friends was surreal.

Only six months ago was I with these same four people, and I had added super-slut to part of my personality at that time. I had also found out so many things about each of them all right after that, which stunned and saddened me. But none of us had known about Alice. Nothing. She kept her realities a secret just like her nightmares.

I understood Jasper's point of view that Alice hadn't done anything to change her life's course, but it didn't change how sad I was for her and her memory. I know deep down he felt it too. He cried when he heard about her death, it was the circumstances prior that pissed him off. Jasper wasn't the most sensitive guy on the planet and he liked it that way. So did I.

What was shocking was standing in that house with all the people and there was a feeling of deja vu, which ticked me off.

Edward wanting us to go to his parent's cabin when it was plainly obvious what he was after. _Pig_.

Although, he made it sound so innocent. _Jerk._

I looked at Jasper and gaged his reaction to Edward's moronic idea.

I trusted Jasper, but the suggestion brought up my insecurities from when Jasper and I first became involved. What would I do if this was something he wanted? Well, one, I would have said _Goodbye_. Then, two, I would have kicked him and Edward in the balls as I walked towards the front door.

Jasper held my body close to him and whispered reassuring words in my ear. My heart sang, proving to myself that I wasn't a complete moron anymore, and that Jasper and I were good together.

Then when Jasper actually talked about children later that night, which was something I had never given much thought to, at least not outwardly, I learned we were on the same page for our life. We really weren't living in a bubble of childhood dreams and crushes, but we had an actual adult relationship that was going somewhere. That realization should have terrified me, but I was ecstatic.

I had never been one to dream about marriage or children. All I ever thought about was my dad, instant gratification, my cat, and school. Now all I thought about was Jasper. My future with Jasper. _Jasper and I were real._

It was weird.

My dad drove Jasper and I to Seattle after Alice's funeral. We needed to get home for Jasper to get back to work the following day, his internship at Lockheed Martin was now a full time job and that job was permanent for him. It was a relief to Jasper, so he would be able to take his time to complete his last two semesters for his BS.

Where I was completely uptight and in a hurry for my degrees, Jasper was the polar opposite, he said the school would always be there waiting for the tuition money, so just enjoy.

I was just going to take it easy for a week or so before I got back into my studies. Taking Jasper's advice to just relax would be something very new to me.

I would say it was a vacation for both of us on everything because I was on the rag. But unlike every other guy that I had dated including Edward who avoided me like the plague for my period, Jasper never cared, as long as I was a willing participant he was a happy man.

Victoria had left me a message that as soon as Pete got in to town she decided to pick up Mr. Mustachio and was keeping him at her house.

This weekend had been exhausting and depressing, but also strangely enlightening. Jasper and I were in this for the long haul, I was justified in my true dislike of my high school boyfriend now, my old college room-mate was a good person for getting Mr. Mustachio sprung, and I wanted to have a baby.

_Whoa! What the hell?_

While I listened to my father and Jasper talk about inconsequential crap like sports, I was now completely obsessing about babies and all that came with them, diapers, rattles, onesies, kitchen sink baths, binkies, the pain of child birth, and sore nipples.

The last couple things should have been the antidote I needed regarding getting knocked up. _It wasn't._

The obsessing didn't stop it got worse!

Because after my father dropped us off at the airport all I could see were babies. Babies crying, cooing, and spitting up!

Was there an epidemic of birth control failing in the state of Washington?

Mother's wiping noses, father's scolding little people.

Babies! _They were everywhere! So was the screaming._

I was wondering if they had always been there, because I had never noticed them. I either read a book or talked on the phone during these times. Now I was sitting next to Jasper waiting for us to get on a plane with at least five kids of varying ages that would be on the flight with us.

"Baby, are you alright?" Jasper asked me he brought his arm around my shoulders in a half hug.

"Um. I think so?"

Jasper's lips curled into a small sincere smile as I questioned myself.

"Jasper, have you noticed there are babies everywhere?"

His guffaws broke out of nowhere and actually scared a couple of the littler kids I was obsessing about.

"Stop." I pleaded while looking at him.

He slowly calmed his laughter and increased his hold on my shoulder. "So you want a kid now, Darlin'?"

"Maybe."

"I thought you wanted to wait until you finished medical school."

"I do. It's just I really never noticed how many of them there are. They are everywhere." I whispered. I didn't want to upset the butt-load of parents that were surrounding us.

"You're too sweet." He said and kissed my forehead. "We can have a baby whenever you're ready. You are the one that has to do all the work. It's just dinner and a movie for me."

Jasper's explanation of procreation from a man's point of view made me start to laugh so hard I had tears rolling down my face. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked apparently a little too loud.

A couple of mommies threw the stink eye my way.

"Maybe we'll talk about this when we get home." I said. Jasper nodded and kissed me sweetly.

It was kind of stunning that in these months since we moved in together, Jasper and I had discovered so much about one another. It wasn't like we just completed each other it was like we were the other person's conscience. We both had thought we weren't good enough for a real relationship and definitely not for each other.

We were both wrong. Jasper made me feel like I had never been so loved.

The plane ride was great. I went from wanting to be a mommy, to just practicing how to make a baby, and it was a perfect pass-time. Jasper as always was perfectly happy with that idea.

_The man is insatiable. _Thank God!

I got the window seat and Jasper had requested one the airlines' blankets. He threw it over us and privacy seemed to suddenly be ours. Our seats were second to the last row of the plane with no one across from us or in front of us.

Apparently, Jasper and I were having yet another, _meeting of the mind_ as he would so seductively call it.

The longer I looked at him the wetter my panties got.

Jasper knew it.

His hand was in between my legs massaging my overly stimulated sex to a point that was maddening.

I moaned and his pressure increased in speed and intensity. The zipper on my jeans was down and the button was popped and in a nanosecond Jasper's hand was at my pussy pushing two of his long amazing sinuous fingers inside.

I gasped and he began increasing his speed.

Thank God Jasper was paying attention, because when he pulled his fingers out of me and moved his hand away, I saw the flight attendant bringing around the drink tray.

"I am gonna have blue balls." Jasper mumbled.

"As soon as she goes back into the galley doohickey let's go to the restroom." I said quickly and quietly.

Jasper looked up at me with his eyes wide and his mouth agape, just as Little Miss Helpful got to us.

"Would you like something to drink?" The bad bleach job with the fake smile asked the father of my future kids.

"Naw. Thanks, I don't want anything." Jasper said emphasizing his accent. The boy did it without even realizing it when he talked to woman. It didn't matter what they looked like, he always gave the _girls_ "his drawl". He truly loved women.

She walked away. She didn't ask me if I wanted anything to drink. Oh well, she's a bitch. I get to bump uglies with the hotty with the accent and she gets to troll drinks in a flying tube. I got the better end of the deal.

Jasper grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Seriously, you wanna do this?"

I smiled. Was he kidding? "Yes, of course!"

"Baby, if we get caught we will probably get arrested."

"Then you go in first and I'll knock three times. Afterwards I'll leave first."

Jasper looked guilty already. He slowly got up from his seat and started towards that bathroom. I waited several minutes after I had watched him open the door and close it.

I took three deep breaths and headed in the same direction. I scanned the rows but didn't make eye contact with anyone hoping that their eyes wouldn't follow me and my NC-17 rated destination.

I got to the small door that faced the flight attendants little kitchen area. I quietly knocked on the door three times and the occupied disk changed and the door unlocked.

Jasper was standing there looking at me like I was not who he expected at the door.

"Why are you so nervous, Jasper?" I whispered at him. My poor guy looked like he was going to have a panic attack. This was going to do no good for this fun exercise in mute fucking that I had hoped for.

"We could get charged with like a sex crime or something."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really! Shit, I don't even know if I can get it up." He said to be shaking his head.

"Well crap." I whined. "We're already in here. We could still be charged and nothing has even happened."

Jasper leaned back against the wall and I leaned against the tiny silver sink. We regarded one another and our predicament. I was horny still and I knew he had been. I also knew that Jasper could be easily persuaded to get turned on again with some simple gestures and movements on my part. I_ wouldn't even have to touch the guy._

I licked my lips and began playing with the hem of my Dixie Chicks concert t-shirt. When I had put it on this morning my boyfriend and lover of all things "American" including Country singer Toby Keith was not at all amused. He even got more _pissy_ when he saw the back which read "FUTK".

I will always be a big fan of the Dixie Chicks and their little run in with our illustrious 44th President while they were in England.

Jasper was not amused until he got to enjoy how the shirt looked from my side. It was really tight, what can I say. The fact that my jeans were just as tight, I honestly was surprised that he had lost his hard-on.

In one quick movement I removed my t-shirt and gave Jasper an eye full of his favorite bra. The smile that erupted on his face was priceless and was one of the most beautiful I had ever seen on his already handsome face.

The small room suddenly felt huge as I reached out for him to grab his shirt and bring him closer to me.

"I guess since I am already going to Hell, I might as well do it right." Jasper drawled in my ear, while he began unbuttoning his own jeans.

This tight space wasn't going to allow for a whole lot of movement and there was no way either of us was getting it on while any part of our bare skin was touching the toilet.

Jasper had gotten his pants down enough to release his cock, my hands went there and I started stroking him with pressure and sure movements. He began palming my breasts with gentle force while moving the bra cups down to allow him easier access to his favorite parts of my body.

A loud bang came from directly outside the small room.

"Oh shit!" Jasper whispered. Both of our eyes widened.

I couldn't help the smile that crept across my lips while looking at his terrified expression.

"Baby, I can't get hard." He said.

"Okay."

Jasper helped me back on with my clothes and then he put himself back together.

I grabbed his face and brought his lips to mine. "You know this means we aren't true members of the Mile High Club?"

"Yeah, well anyone who saw us come in will think we are. Damn! This is just too damn stressful!"

I started giggling.

"You go out first." Jasper said and then kissed me on the lips.

As quietly as possible I unlatched the not so quiet lock on the restroom door. I looked and saw our lovely flight attendant's ass up in the air while she was picking a mess from the drink cart.

I looked back at Jasper. "This will be the only time in our life I will say this,_ flirt with that bitch_!"

Jasper smiled widely and gave me a kiss on me cheek, "Go sit down. Love you, Babe." He whispered in my ear.

I started toward our seat and was greeted with smiles from the guys and sneers from the ladies in the seats prior to Jasper and mine. I shook my head and made no expression available to them.

A few minutes later I actually heard slapping of hands as Jasper made his way back to me.

"What the hell?" I asked him incredulous.

"I am the king on this flight, Baby." He said with a cocky grin.

I raised an eyebrow at him as he sat down and buckled back up.

"Keep that to yourself." He said in embarrassment with a shy smile. Like I would ever say anything against my man's sexual success.

We spent the rest of the flight laughing about our _almost_ induction into the Mile High Club.

Victoria and Pete were waiting for us under the awning of DIA sitting on Jasper's GTO, Cindybelle.

"What the fuck is this?" Jasper said to our friends in a shocked tone.

Victoria immediately started laughing at his expression. "Pete hates my car. So we had to drive something."

"Why did...." He was really upset and couldn't finish. The boy is so territorial.

"Oh for crying out loud! You two screwed on the plane!" Victoria practically yelled at me.

"Shut up!" I yelled back.

"Oh Hell Cat, could you say it just a little louder?"

"Jazz man!" Pete said to Jasper in disgust.

As we all piled into the car, Victoria was still laughing at us.

"So you got Mr. Mustachio?" I was looking for anything to get the subject changed.

"Yes, he has a sneeze from that place."

"He's sneezing? I gotta take him to the vet." My poor baby boy.

"Animals don't need a damn doctor. They are tough..." Pete started to say as Victoria and I snapped out heads to look at him like he was speaking blasphemy.

Jasper waved his hand at Pete from his seat behind the wheel trying to warn Pete about our love for Mr. Mustachio. He at least knew that joking about the name was one thing, but not actually caring about my cat was sound reason enough to sleep in the garage.

"You and me need to have a chat." Victoria said quietly to Pete in the backseat.

After a few minutes of getting the evil eye from Victoria, Pete finally broke the silence with a stupid subject.

"So how was the funeral?"

*******************

The next day Jasper went to work like he was a 1950's business man. He kissed me at the door like I was June Cleaver and told me not to worry he would be home by five. _Dork_.

I have to laugh. My man was the coolest dork I had ever met.

I spent my day getting everything cleaned up. I also set up a vet appointment for Mr. Mustachio who was acting lethargic. But then again he had torn apart the cat nip pizza I had brought home from Washington for him in about two seconds this morning.

"Hey there, little fluffy man." I said to him as he stretched and rolled on his back to let me scratch his stomach.

Around noon Victoria came over with lunch for her and I while I was doing laundry.

"Hey Baby Doll!" She yelled from the kitchen as I came around the corner from the laundry room.

"Jebus! You scared the shit out of me!"

Victoria started laughing and dishing out the sushi she brought for our lunch.

"Where's Peter?"

"He is at the University transferring." She said with a look of satisfaction on her face.

"You're kidding! How the hell is that you and I could get guys to give up Texas?" I asked.

"I know right. Amazing. I think it's the magic vagina thing." I had told her so much about my past, it may as well have been hers too.

"Alright so tell me about the trip home. Is there anything you would like to confess?" Her blue eyes glittering with mischief.

"You're an asshole." I said without emotion.

"Oh okay. So no more extra..."

"God Vic!"

She was laughing her ass off now.

"You know what? I think I should introduce you to Emmett, you and Rosie can all go crazy on him."

"I'm just joking Bella. You make these faces..."

"No you're just a bitch."

"Yeah, well you knew that." She teased. We both laughed, Victoria just loved to make me blush.

Just then my cell phone rang I picked up to see it was Rosalie. "Well speak of the devil's woman."

"Hey Rosie."

"Holy shit Bella! Fucking Edward is moving in with us!"

My ear was ringing by Rosalie's screaming.

"Um, isn't it your apartment?"

"No! We fucking moved. Didn't we tell you guys? We got a freakin' two bedroom....dammit and now that little shit wants to move in!"

I sat stunned looking at my half eaten salmon roll.

Victoria sat looking at me with a look of surprise. She could hear Rosalie's screams of desperation.

"Um....." I had nothing. Nothing at all to say.

"Bella?" She whined. "Can I come out and stay with you and Jazzy?"

Like I could say no to Jasper's sister. He probably could but I couldn't.

"Yeah, it's okay with me. Have you talked to Jasper?"

"I'll call him in a minute. I didn't think about this until I was talking to you, Bella. I am really starting to hate those two."

_Join the club_. I thought.

"I know. I'm sorry Rosie."

Rosalie and I got off the phone and I looked at Victoria.

"You know what this means don't you?"

"What?"

"The fucked up orgy is now coming to you."

"Shut up Victoria! This cannot be happening. Is my life always going to be this perverted?" I yelled into the air of my kitchen.

Victoria and I finished out lunch. She went home to get ready for work, she was interning at the Psych Ward at the state prison in Denver. She worked nights. I thought she was nuts. She loved it.

Whatever.

I took Mr. Mustachio to his appointment and he was given a clean bill of health, even after he scratched the shit out of both of my forearms while he got the thermometer stuffed up his butt to take his temperature.

On the way home the cat and I picked up a fine dining experience for Jasper and myself from Sonic. I knew he would be pleased with my choice. _Not_.

A knock came at the door just as I heard Jasper's car pulling into the garage in the back yard.

I went to answer the door and was met with a the profile of a handsome dark haired and dark skinned man. When he turned to see me his face morphed into a strangely disturbing smirk that instantly made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

"Well hello there beautiful."

"Um...." Was my brilliant response. I was imagining getting the Smith and Wesson my father had given me when Victoria and I moved into this house on the second night we were here. It was sitting on the top shelf of my bedroom closet collecting dust. Way too far away for me to get away from this creepy guy.

"This is where Whit lives, yeah?" Creepy man asked me.

"I don't know anyone by that name. I think you have the wrong address."

I heard the back door open and close and focused on Jasper's distinct footfalls on the linoleum coming from behind me.

This stranger had to have heard it too.

The stranger looked over my shoulder and the smile he had for me stressed into a tight line.

"What the fuck are you doin' here, Laurent?" My man asked and he was pissed. Before I had a chance to look toward him, Jasper was behind me in one second and pushed me behind him protectively in the next.

"Hey man. I just heard you moved out here. You know you should have told me." The creepy guy looked back at me. "Wondering if we had any business here in Colorado?"

"Hold on." Jasper seethed through clenched teeth.

Jasper closed the door and dead-bolted it on his "business associate" and then looked back at me with a strange look in his eyes. I was instantly terrified.

Jasper put his arms around me pushing my head into his chest.

"We're gonna have to move." Jasper said into my hair. His heart beat was increasing by the second.

"Wait! What? Who is that guy?" The gravity of this situation was only getting worse.

Jasper grabbed my hand and led me back into the kitchen.

"Me and Laurent used to boost cars together in Texas. He is a mother fuckin' asshole." Jasper's voice was full of venom and hate.

"But why do we have to move? You're not doing that car stuff anymore and he...." I pointed towards the front door.

Jasper grabbed my face with his hands and gently stroked my cheeks as he looked at me with the most fearful eyes.

"Baby, there is another reason why I didn't have any girlfriends when I lived in Texas. This business, I used to be in usually has casualties. Girlfriends and wives are the ones' used as the casualties." Jasper took a deep breath and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. "Bella, cops were never that big of a threat. The competition was."

"And Laurent is the competition?"

"He is now."

**AN- Dammit! Can't these two have a break from the crap? Rose is coming for a visit, which would have been fun! But Jasper's criminal past, it isn't gonna be as much fun.**

Hey boys and girls, there is a nasty little process going on FanFic. Net, they are banning or forcing authors to curb their stories with the smut and violence. This is taking place because of a nasty little group that hate TwiFic called the Literate Union. They aren't the brightest bunch, but they think they are brilliant. Check out my profile for info on the petition to get FF*Net to include an NC-17 rating. Also, check out the forum for the self proclaimed smarty pants' LU. If nothing else it is good for hysterical laughter, smart really isn't how I would describe them. NOTE FROM THE BETA- They are dumb asses!


	22. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, that honor belongs to Stephanie Meyer. But this plot and Mr. Mustachio are mine**.

Songs for this chapter- **Battleflag** by **Lo Fidelity vs. Pigeonhead** and **Kinda I Want To** by **NIN**

Thank you to Mynxi for her beta skills on this story!

Chapter 23 JPOV

I was pretty fucking shocked that Laurent Dyer was at my front door.

Looking at Bella.

No, he was _leering_ at her. The cave man in my brain went into over drive. I wasn't about to let her get involved with this shit. She had no idea what an evil piece of shit was standing two feet in front of her.

That guy would fuck anything with a pulse whether they gave their consent or not. He is a worthless psychopath who fucked with people for amusement.

I didn't fucking owe him anything.

Emmett did.

But I was the one who brought Edward and Emmett into my fucked _occupation_ when I moved back to Texas. So I was fucking responsible for Emmett's steroid bullshit. I had a feeling when Emmett told me he had gotten expelled the shit was going to hit the fan. If he wasn't selling it, he wasn't sending money to Laurent. But then I figured I wasn't in Texas anymore, maybe I wouldn't get hit.

Livin' on a maybe is a fuckin' dumb way to spend your life.

Emmett, Edward and I didn't always fuck girls when we got together. Sometimes we did other things to occupy our time. Strip clubs, hunting, just drinkin' beer and hangin out, and stealing cars. _Damn we were dumbasses._

I met Laurent in Austin when I needed some money during Thanksgiving break my freshman year at Tech. I had taken the bus, which was a long ass ride in a cramped space, but it was worth it because I would be driving home something shiny and new in a few hours.

But since I was new to this area and I worked alone for the most part I did not know I had stumbled upon a covered territory. Laurent's territory.

He ran a syndicate of criminal activity. Everything from cars, drugs, prostitution, to anything else he could get his nasty fat ass hands.

Laurent and his boys Demetri and Marcus watched me as soon as I hit their area. I knew I was being watched from the minute I walked into town. It was fuckin weird.

I had never run into any issues before in Texas, and I fuckin' owned the Northern part of Washington State. Nobody could touch my ass. So I was surprised when the feeling of being watched was the feeling of getting my ass kicked in an alley three blocks away from the bus station. Yeah it happened quick. Criminals can always see another criminal coming. It's a weird little sixth sense you develop when you get good at your _job_. Gotta' look out for the competition you know?

Laurent gave me a pass when he saw how fast I could hitch a lock and hot wire a car. Even the newer models with computer chips that were supposed to be failsafe.

_Bullshit_.

Everything can be stolen, we just gotta do some homework. And I fuckin' did my homework. I knew every kind of car that was made and how they worked.

I started making more money than I dreamed when I started working for Laurent.

Soon Edward and Emmett wanted to meet Laurent. To make their score.

Edward thought he would make a dope ass pimp. Laurent said no. But Emmett wanted in on the deal when he came down to Texas last year. He wanted to start selling "roids'" to his teammates. Edward and I thought he was an asshole, but who were we to judge? And Laurent welcomed Emmett in to his syndicate with open arms.

Emmett also didn't heed my advice and give Laurent a fake name.

Laurent asked my name that first day and I lied. The man scared the shit out of me. I gave him Whit, the first four letters in my real last name. Who knew he wasn't as fuckin' dumb as he looked and found my ass anyway three years later.

Now Laurent was standing on my front porch after lookin' my girl up and down like she was on the damn menu and I was at a fuckin' loss as to what to do.

Kill him? No, my ass would be dead, by his boys, and who knows what depraved shit would happen to Bella.

After meeting Laurent I got a first hand introduction as to how he handled his problems. If he couldn't get his _employees_ to follow the rules, he would get your significant other to do it. Since most of his little worker bees were guys, that meant he would fuck your girl whether she wanted to or not. He would get your kids asses kicked at school. He would get your mother's house put on the auction block because somehow she hadn't paid her taxes, whether she did or not. The guy was connected. And he was an extreme asshole. In the end, Laurent won. He always won.

Now Laurent saw Bella. My angel. The one person on the planet other than my family who thought I was worth anything. The one person on the planet I would die for.

Looking at my girl's confused brown doe eyes I knew I was fucked. Laurent wasn't going to touch her but we also couldn't run away. Damn if the mother fucker found me all the way in Colorado under a name he had never heard, then he sure as shit could find us someplace else.

Standing in the kitchen trying to convince Bella to head out the back door for her own safety shouldn't have been hard, but I was trying to convince Bella, arguing was her hobby.

"Jasper?" Bella's voice woke me up.

"Baby, can you just take the alley down to Vic's house?"

"Jasper, I don't...."

"Just please Baby, do this for me." I pleaded with her. She was the only person I ever met that could bring me to my knees.

"I am gonna have to talk to him and find out what the hell he wants. It will make my brain work better if I know you are down the block." How could she argue with that logic? Am I kidding myself? This is Bella she'll argue about whether baby ducks were cute.

"No. I am not going to leave you with this crazy man...." Bella argued with me. Again .

_Yeah, because you can do so much damage with your tiny hands?_

"Bella. I don't need to worry about him fuckin' me up and getting' to you. Just get your ass down the road!"

"Jas..."

"Stop arguin' with me Baby! I need you safe." I was beggin' her.

Finally her expression looked defeated and she headed towards the back door. I grabbed her cell off the counter as I followed her.

"Don't come back here until I call you or come and get you." I handed her the phone and kissed her forehead. I closed the door before she could answer. I wasn't arguing about this shit anymore. If she ever listened to me about anything it should be this.

I took off my jacket and threw it in the laundry room as I watched Bella head down the alley behind our little house. I watched for as long as I could before she was out of sight and I headed back towards the front door.

I whipped it open and saw that fucker with his feet up on the porch rail lounging like he owned the place on one of the wicker chairs.

He looked over at me and smiled.

"Damn, Whit. You got a nice little set up here. Fine lookin' piece of ass in there takin' care of your needs. Cute house. Good job. But you forgot about your other responsibilities."

"I don't owe you shit, Laurent." I rested my ass on the railing in front of him.

"You may not owe me but that big fuckin' asshole Emmett does."

"Then why go through all the fuckin' trouble of trackin' me down. Go find him."

"I lose one of my best earners without even a fuck you! What kinda boss would I be if I didn't check up on you?" He asked. "And damn boy, you sure are doin' good."

"What do you want?"

"Money. Pussy. What does any man want?" He said with a shrug.

"I ain't got any money, and if you try and fuck with my girl I'll rip your nuts off." I said without emotion. My voice had no inflection but my brain was going about 100 miles an hour. It kept going back to Bella's gun in the bedroom closet and blowin' Laurent's head off.

Laurent started laughing and pulled his boots off the railing, leaving long wedge marks in the white paint. I was gonna have to repaint anyway. But it still pissed me off.

"Damn, boy! Is she your wife?"

"Don't fuckin' talk about her anymore."

"Alright, I won't talk about Isabella Swan, Jasper Jared Hale Whitlock's girlfriend anymore." He chuckled.

"So you know it all. Good for you. Got a degree to go with that knowledge?" I asked.

"Fuck Whit, all I came here for was my money and see if you really quit."

Sure, he came two states and studied my alias, and found out about my girl for a friendly visit.

"Tell me what you want. Then you leave."

"Can we go inside? Maybe you could offer me a beer." He stood up like these things were actually going to happen.

"No. You ain't goin' in my house and you ain't drinkin' my beer. What do you want?"

Laurent stood up and came to stand in front of me. I was a few inches taller than him, but he was a brute mother fucker, I needed to wait and see what he wanted to do.

"Jasper your friend owes me ten k. Are you gonna pay up for him? Because I know you won't give me his address since he left Notre Dame. And I know he has some kind of shit goin' with your sister, so you don't want me near her, and yet you don't want me here with your hot little piece of tail." He shook his head and smiled. "We got ourselves one of them conundrums, or whatever. So I am gonna go to my nice hotel room and you think about how this is gonna be taken care of. Alright?" Laurent started down the steps to his rental car.

"One question man." I called after him.

Laurent stopped and turned around to face me.

"How the fuck did you find me?"

Laurent chuckled. "I stole your old roommate's mail." He turned back toward the street and continued walking.

Well I had to hand it to the son of a bitch he was creative.

I watched Laurent turn right off of Sycamore and I started to head down the block to Hell Cat's house.

I pulled out my cell and dialed Emmett's number.

"Yellow." Emmett answered like an idiot.

"You stupid son of a bitch!"

"What?"

"Guess who just paid me a visit?"

"I have no idea. I don't know what happened to your sense of humor man. It ain't like you're an old married man."

"Shut the fuck up Emmett! Laurent fuckin' came to Colorado to find your dumbass."

Silence.

"Emmett you piece of shit! You own him $10,000? How is that even possible?"

"Shut up let me answer, Jasper!" I could tell the big oaf was getting up from whatever perch he was regularly in to start pacing. He always did when he was nervous. From the time Rosalie thought she was pregnant when we were seniors to when he started on his "roid'" dealin' ways.

"Okay, you know when I got kicked out of school?"

"Yeah." I stopped as I got to Victoria's stoop and listened before I knocked.

"They fined me instead of pressing charges. You know they didn't want that shit to go public so I paid the coaches off and left quietly."

"So you weren't even expelled?"

"No, how the hell else do you think I was able to get into U dub with Rose?" He acted like I should have figured this shit out on my own. But I didn't think about him or his bullshit!

I took a deep breath and saw movement inside the house from the front window.

Peter opened the door and came out on the porch with me. I saw Bella standing in the living room with her arms crossed over her chest. This was going to be a long night.

"You know what I don't give a shit if you have to go knock over a bank. I didn't get a damn time line from that mother fucker, and you can kiss my fuckin' ass if you think I am payin' your debt."

"Shit! Does he know about Bella?"

"She answered the fuckin' door!"

"Oh fuck man, I am so sorry. I didn't think he would track you down."

I looked back at Bella who had at least uncrossed her arms. Now she looked worried. What kind of a fuckin' asshole am I? I should have never gotten involved with her. Love or not. My ass was bad news.

"Whatever. Come up with a plan soon." I hung up my cell.

Peter wanted to know what was going on. I told him I would talk to him later; I just wanted Bella and me to get back to the house.

Bella and I walked back to our house in silence holding hands. Both of which surprised the hell out of me. Bella isn't the kind of girl to keep her unhappiness to herself, so I was happy at least for the time being that she wasn't yelling at me.

We headed into our bedroom so I could change into shorts and a t-shirt. Bella flopped her sweet little self on the bed bouncing from the way she flung herself.

I couldn't help but smile at her and shake my head.

"You know I have gun up there don't you?" Bella motioned toward the closet.

"Yes, Darlin' I know."

"Well I just wanted to make sure." She sat up and crossed her legs Indian style and started playing with her finger nails.

"You want me to shoot him?" I asked as I pulled on my shorts.

Bella shrugged nonchalantly. She was too cute.

"I don't wanna go to prison for a career criminal like that, Sweetie."

I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth waiting for my great idea to burst into my brain.

I watched Bella in the reflection of the bathroom mirror while she sat on the blue and gray flowered comforter. She was wearing a pair of white shorts and little red tank top. She looked delicious, like a strawberry dipped ice cream cone. Her long hair was in a high pony tail but her unruly curls were trying to escape the confines of the rubber-band.

I couldn't risk what we had. I couldn't risk her getting hurt.

Bella looked up at me in that instant. "What?"

"What about you and me heading back to Washington?"

"We just got back Jasper. Besides we aren't going to let this guy scare us away from our life. We aren't moving." She said with finality.

My plan was not for us to run anymore. My plan was to take Bella to her father's and get Emmett's ass down here to take care of the shit he needed to. If he had to sell his big ugly ass on Colfax I didn't care.

I turned around and leaned back on the vanity this time I put my arms over my chest and stared at her.

"Do you remember what I told you before you went over to Vic's?"

"Yes." Bella's voice was laced with annoyance.

"I am not jokin' about that shit. The guy is an animal."

As with most things that Bella didn't want to hear, she simply hopped off the bed and left the room. I wasn't takin' this shit tonight. I was not going to let her get hurt.

I started after her.

"I am not kiddin' Bella. You need to go stay with your dad while I take care of this shit."

I found Bella in the kitchen starting to clean. Another idiosyncrasy of hers. Nervous or upset? Clean like a crazy woman.

"You think I am going to leave without you?"

"Baby. I need to help Emmett he inadvertently got me involved. This is his shit. But I gotta help him anyway."

"Wait! What?" She finally stopped spraying that shitty smelling cleaner she loved so much and looked at me.

"Emmett owes Laurent ten grand."

Bella closed her eyes tightly and turned back to the counter. "This is insane, Jasper."

I walked over to where she was scrubbing a hole into the counter. I kissed her right shoulder and then moved to the other one kissing along the top of her shirt. I inhaled her scent as I went. Bella always smelled so good. Like something floral and fruity. She was intoxicating.

"I know it is, Angel. I thought all this shit was behind me. I never meant for it to affect us."

She nodded. I brought my hands around her to massage her stomach.

"Are you going to get hurt?" I felt her body tremble, as she started to cry.

I turned her around to face me. She had tears streaming down her beautiful face.

Bella was still holding her bottle of cleaner and her rag. I pressed my forehead to hers. "Nothin' will happen to me. Emmett is a whole other story though." I tried to joke.

"You know I am not completely helpless." Again with the arguing.

"Yes, Darlin', I know you are as tough as they come in a 110 pound package with barely there muscles."

Bella smacked my chest and smiled through her tears. "I can shoot."

"Yeah, well maybe we could both go to our graves without killin' someone. I bet your dad would be happy with that decision."

"Actually that was why he gave me the gun because I was moving to a state that had a "Make My Day Law".

"Yeah? When was the last time you cleaned that gun or went target shooting?"

That joke got me another light smack in the chest from my angry angel. I actually cleaned the gun for her once a month.

We stayed wrapped up in each other standing in the kitchen for a few minutes.

By the time we finally decided to eat our cold cheeseburgers on the front porch it was twilight.

Bella lit some candles and we sat down. It was a hot night without a breeze.

The damn cat came out on the porch with us. He never left. He hung out under my feet but his loyalty was to Bella. He never bit the hand that fed him, well literally he did. That little fur ball was a biting freak of nature when he had some cat nip in his system.

I knew Laurent wouldn't be back tonight anyway. That wasn't the way he worked.

He liked the fear to fester in a person.

He would come back in a few days and see what choices had been made. And once he showed up, I would offer him Emmett or the money Emmett had. As far as I was concerned Emmett was as guilty as Laurent for putting Bella at risk.

I used to love Emmett like a brother. But the longer I thought about this bullshit, the more loyalty as a friend I felt in comparison to the possible threat of Bella getting hurt was bullshit. Emmett could go straight to Hell.

Bella made us sweet tea because she knew I loved it. When she went into get us each another glass my phone rang.

Emmett.

"You better have some money." I said into the phone.

"Man, you know I can't come up with that kind of money. Shit I can get my hands on three maybe four..."

I cut him off. "You do realize that Laurent is threatening me with Bella." I whispered.

"Fuck, man! I'll come out there. I won't let him hurt Bella..." Suddenly there was another voice in the room with Emmett.

Edward.

"What? Bella! What happened to her?" The pussy-ass fool asked.

Bella walked back out and set our glasses down. I looked up at her face to gauge her. What I saw was terror. She had heard what I said to Emmett.

I snapped my phone shut without another word to Emmett. "Baby, I won't let anything happen to you. I swear."

Bella nodded. "Okay, I will go to my dad's. I can put off my first semester of medical school until the end of August."

I got down on my knees in front of her. My phone was on the little wicker table by our plates had started buzzing again shaking our tea glasses making that annoying clanking sound along with the vibrations.

"I am so sorry Bella." I grabbed her hands in mine. "You are the only thing that matters to me anymore. I just need to take care of this shit with you not here. Laurent is evil."

She nodded and the tears started to fall down her cheeks. My heart was in a thousand pieces.

Bella let me hold her. I wouldn't have blamed her once the shock wore off if she was so pissed at me she wouldn't want me back. I mean fuck whose past puts their girlfriend's lives in actual mortal danger? Only a fuckin' idiot's like me.

I called my boss to tell him I had yet _another_ family emergency and that I would work the weekend or doubles to make up the work. Jacob was cool and told me not to worry he could e-mail my projects home and I could work on them via my lap top. I agreed to the time-lines and it was actually a gift to be able to get my work done without leaving the house. I was really just a grunt anyway. Well a grunt that got paid really well.

I ignored the rest of the phone calls from Emmett.

Bella and I scheduled our flight. I would fly to Washington with her and then pick up Emmett. I texted the idiot with the info, I had no desire to listen to his whiny voice anymore tonight especially with Edward in the background.

Bella called her dad to let him know she would be staying with him. Charlie was under the impression that we were fighting and she just wanted to get away from me to cool off. She let him think that because she wasn't able to come up with an excuse without looking like she was lying.

As long as Bella was safe I didn't care if her dad wanted to kick my ass.

Bella and I settled on the couch and started to watch television. Today had started out so good. Bella and I woke up early made love and I got to pretend like my gorgeous girlfriend that couldn't cook to save her life was my little housewife.

I went to work with a goofy smile on my face and even my boss, Jacob couldn't help but think I was way too happy.

"Jasper, what is up with that smile?" Jacob asked.

"I am just a very content man." I answered him without losing my dumbass smile.

"Well good. Love makes you stupid and happy. All I can say is keep up the great work. You are the best intern we have ever hired. Just get your degree done and than we can get you on full time with benefits."

I needed to get my life back on track. Normal was so much better than the shit I did before. Before Bella and I got together, every day was a fuckin' drama. Whether it was the car bullshit or chicks bitching and I am including Edward in that description, I was miserable.

Now even if Bella was pissed at me I was happier than I was back then, when I was free. The eight to five job was great. I even liked having a damn cat as a pet. Bella was a better girlfriend than I was a boyfriend.

I just needed to get my life back. The one I had a damn day ago!

**AN- Lemme know what you think =D**


	23. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, Mr. Mustachio/Butch and this plot are mine however.**

**First of all I am sorry I have not updated, just know that I know that I am fail. I already know. **

**LEMON Alert...and there is violence. But not a violent lemon, so we're cool. Right?**

**Mynxi beta is the muther effing bomb! Read her stories!! Go, now!**

**I've started a new story called Season of the Lie. I won't be posting it on because it will get me kicked off. So whatever. It is at the Library, Freedom, and Rogue! **My profile has the links if you care.

Songs for this chapter are**....Sweet Surrender **by** Sarah McLachlan **and** Boom Boom **by** Big Head Todd and the Monsters **and ** High Enough **by** Damn Yankees **and **Bullet **by **Jesse James**

Chapter 24 JPOV

The alarm went off at the same time Bella's phone started to buzz.

God, there was too much noise in our bedroom. The fuckin' cat was as usual around my head with his fat body.

Bella's beautiful tits were in my face while she was reaching over me to turn off the alarm and get her phone. I bit her left nipple that was sadly encased in one of my t-shirts. I couldn't resist.

Bella flipped open her phone smiling at me. Her eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Hello?"

I grabbed Bella's hips and pulled her legs so she was straddling me. Bella willingly moved to my bidding. She was beautiful in the morning. No make up and her hair a mess. She was a natural beauty.

"Hey, Baby Doll." Bella said into her phone.

Ah, Hell Cat. Bella needed her buddy to watch my head ornament, Butch, while we were gone. _Again._ I fuckin' loved that cat.

While Bella talked to her besty I started to play.

My hands went under her shirt moving directly to her beautiful breasts. They were full and heavy. Just the weight of her tits made my cock harder.

God I loved to touch her. Her skin was like the softest silk that my hands had to touch. My lips had to kiss. My tongue had to taste.

As soon as I started to massage those amazing tits, Bella started to rock her hips slowly and tortuously on my growing erection.

Bella's tiny left hand was on my bare chest using me for leverage. She continued talking to Victoria and closed her eyes and raised her face to the ceiling. That long neck of hers was just begging to be kissed and licked.

"K, Baby Doll. I'll call you when I get to my dad's." And she snapped her phone shut, she threw it on the floor and moved her other hand to my mouth. She gently moved her pointer finger along my lips.

Bella looked at me, her eyes sexy and wanting. The damn cat finally took that moment to stretch and jump off the bed.

Finally we were alone.

Bella's sex was seeping through her panties to my dick under my sleep pants. "Fuck, Baby. You're so wet." I said while pushing the t-shirt the rest of the way off and threw it off to the side. Bella' body was beautiful. Those chicks in the Victoria Secret catalog could go straight to hell. Bella was perfect.

My dick was now painfully hard under my girl's expert movements. She knew what to do to me. We learned each other's wants and needs quickly and amazingly, despite the complicated pains in the ass, we both. But when it came to us makin' love it was an event of mutual perfection. When I wanted it rough, she did too. When she just wanted to make love slow and beautiful, so did I. We were a match made in Heaven. And that is exactly what Bella was to me, Heaven.

Bella's tiny hands moved down to the tie on my pants. And when I say tiny I mean it. The girl has hands the size of a ten year old. Edward once found a hand print on the back of his Volvo's window and the words "wash me" under it. Rose actually made the statement that some cute little kid did it, until we heard Bella quietly say it was her hand-print.

For two weeks after that all I did was stare at Bella's hands. Everything about Bella was petite, but her damn hands were disproportionately small. They were adorable.

Now those hands were all grown up but still little, and one had released me from my pant prison and was around my cock stroking it perfectly. The other one trying to push her panties down.

I had a better idea though, I brought my fingers under the thin silky material and ripped that offensive little piece of fabric at the seams on both sides.

Bella laughed. "Maybe we should start sleeping in the nude."

"Yes please."

Was all I could say before I was pushing my way inside Bella.

Fuck she was tight and warm. She started the gradual hip undulation again.

Feeling every inch of her pussy against my length. "Jesus, Bella. Ah...fuck!"

I wasn't going to be able to let her lead us too much longer. My possessive and demanding nature was bubbling to the surface and I had to hold her down. I needed to set the final pace. I brought my hands around to her back leaning up grabbing Bella roughly and turning us both until I hovered over her.

I grabbed her hips and while my thrusts became more erratic and rough Bella's voice was sweet and utterly feminine with her soft moans.

We came apart together. The most beautiful sight in the world was watching Bella have an orgasm. I tried to come after her so I could watch her face. To watch her mouth when her lips would part and form a silent O.

Her soft full pink lips have always been my downfall.

Now Bella's eyes, those lovely doe eyes, showed her incredible and consuming love and devotion in those chocolate orbs. How had I gone without her before? I knew I could never let her go now.

I reached a hand over pushing her hair from her face. She closed her eyes leaning into my touch. Our skin hot with the trailing end of the ecstasy we both were coming down from.

"I love you, Baby." I said and kissed her sweet lips that made my heart beat faster.

"I love you too, Jasper. I don't want to leave." Her voice dipped at the last sentence. I put my arms around her bare back and pulled her into me.

I was keenly aware of every inch of her skin against me. Her full breasts against my chest, her dark hair tickling my chin, our legs tangled, and her breath. Her breathing hitching slightly as she was becoming upset.

"Don't cry, Darlin'. Emmett and I will get this shit fixed. I promise."

"I am just worried about you. This man is dangerous, you said so yourself. Maybe you should talk to my father."

"Bella, Baby, do you really want your father to know that you are living with a car thief?"

Bella's tiny hands formed into fists on my back.

"Jesus, Jasper! You are in danger. I don't think he'll care."

I took a deep breath. Bella had more faith in humanity then I did. She saw the good before the bad. Just the opposite as I saw it.

I hugged her tighter. "Fine, be mad at me." I said onto the top of her head.

"I'm not mad Jasper. I am worried."

"I know. Everything will work out." I said confidently.

Bella pushed away to look at my face. "Please talk to my dad." Her eyes were pleading. What she was asking was for me to cut my balls off.

"Baby, come on. I can't ask your dad for help. My mess, my solution."

She was still looking at me with the same expression. "Give me a break! This isn't just about you anymore. This is about us and what we have. God, Jasper! This isn't about machismo bullshit! This about your life!"

Like I didn't know Bella would argue and fight with me on this. _Please_.

I could almost stay completely un-fazed because her presence simple calmed me down. Unless she was driving me nuts. _Like now_.

Just like Bella, I loved to fight. And even though I have loved this girl since I was kid, and I liked her more than any other person on the planet, fighting with her was a favorite past time for me as well.

Letting go of my grasp on Bella's body I pushed myself up into a sitting position. "Bella, knock this shit off. I ain't talkin' to your dad about this. He is in a damn position to ruin my life."

I got off the bed and walked into the bathroom opening the shower door turning on the water. I could see Bella in the reflection in the bathroom mirror. What I saw was my girl heartbroken.

I walked back into the bedroom and watched her wipe her tears from her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Baby. I can't."

She nodded. "I'm just scared, Jasper."

She pulled the sheet up to cover her chest, something she hasn't done since our first night I came to Colorado. _ The night I broke her heart the first time._ She got up still clinging to the sheet, walked into the bathroom, and closed the door behind her. _She closed the door on me and locked it._

I pulled on a pair of boxers and a pair of jeans and headed into the kitchen to make us some breakfast.

Our flight didn't leave until late. We were driving Bella's truck to the airport and I was picking it back up when I got back into town with Emmett. I really wanted to beat his ass for causing of this shit. But I would wait until Laurent finished up, and then take my bite of the big guy.

I made Bella and I each a cheese omelet and sausage.

Bella walked into the kitchen wearing a yellow sun dress and no shoes. Her hair was still damp and she wore no makeup. Fuck she was beautiful.

She sat down at the table and started putting pepper on her omelet.

I sat down next to her and grabbed her hand. I was such a pussy whipped fool when it came to her, I didn't know which way was up anymore.

"What am I supposed to do, Bella? I gotta get this fixed with as little collateral damage as possible."

She looked at me, her brown eyes still red from crying while she was in the shower.

We sat in silence eating breakfast. Well I ate Bella played with her food and wouldn't make eye contact.

"Are you gonna keep up the silent treatment?" _Aw hell_. Here I was trying to be funny, and I woke up the crazy chick that lived inside her brain.

"You know what Jasper? Why don't you just shut the fuck up! I'm worried about your dumb ass and all you can do is act like a complete douche!"

With that she was up and out of the room. Once again I was chasing her to the bedroom.

"Why are you always leavin', when you start this shit?"

"Shut up. You started it!" She turned on me.

I looked at her and those brown eyes that are usually so innocent were squinting and I could feel the heat coming from them.

What should I do? I really don't want her pissed at me while she is in Washington. I am already gonna be miserable without her here, and if I keep this shit up, she won't talk to me. So, I am gonna go for the sensitive guy.

I walk closer to Bella and try to pull her into a hug. I am met with two tiny hands pushing me with force backwards.

"Don't you touch me! I am not a damn door-mat Jasper. You can't just give me instructions and expect me to follow you like you have Kool Aid. I am not just going to Washington. _You're_ s_ending me?!_ This is bullshit! All I did was make a simple suggestion and you act like you're the freakin' Godfather and have all these minions taking care of your needs...."

I had no idea what she was talking about. I was just staring at Bella wide eyed, trying to keep up with her speech of _pissed off chick_ who really just wanted to kick me in the balls. That might have been easier. The pain would be dulling by now.

"Bella. Give me a damn break! I am not _sending_ you to Washington. I am trying to keep you in a safe place, while I help that dumb fuck fix his shit with Laurent." I took a breath. "But what the hell are you talkin' about? What the fuck does Kool Aid have to do with anything?"

"I am talking about Jim Jones." She said through her teeth.

"Who the hell is Jim Jones?"

"The guy who made everybody drink all the Kool Aid!"

Our fight had taken' a turn to "_What the Fuckville_". And we both knew it. But we still stood looking at each other, and neither one was giving an inch.

Finally, the smile that started at the corner of her mouth after a few minutes of staring, was the only give away and I couldn't help but start laughing.

The rest of the morning was us making fun of each other, me mentioning the Kool Aid pitcher that ran through walls and her calling me Mr. Jones.

Victoria came over to retrieve Butch and they both gave me glares for calling him by a perfectly respectable name instead of the dumb-shit name they both gave him. I like the cat. He deserved a better name.

The plane ride didn't suck. It was actually a lot of fun. I was still a coward about the Mile High Club and Bella laughed at me. _A lot_. But we did have fun texting each other while moving around the half empty plane. It was a warped game of hide and seek that we would have to promise something sexual or just depraved to one another if we texted the other's correct location.

My sister was waiting for us in front of Sea Tac.

"Finally!" She yelled at us.

"Did we not move fast enough for you?" I asked as I grabbed Rose's keys.

"Jesus! I just need to get a buffer between me and those two idiots tonight!"

Rose and Bella were both staying in Forks. I wasn't taking a chance on either one of them getting hurt. Being in a town were everyone knew when you took a shit was comforting. They needed lots of eyes to keep them alive.

"The E Team botherin' you, lil' sis?" I asked as I started to laugh with Bella's giggles from the backseat.

"The E Team. That's cute." Rose said sarcastically and rolled her eyes at me. Then she turned towards Bella in the back seat. "I am going to stay with you to Forks, Bella. I need chick time. I am not staying in that apartment with Cullen that is for damn sure."

"Is Edward trying to coerce you into another orgy?" Bella asked as if she were asking a census question. Which made me laugh.

"No." Rose looked over at me and silently asked me if I was okay with her talking about Edward the Fucknut. I nodded.

"He wants to kick your ass for getting _her_ involved in all this." Rose used her thumb to jab in the direction of Bella in the back seat.

"Of course he does. Then he can act like the hero." I said.

"Right." Bella said sarcastically from her seat. "So you got cars, Emmett liked steroids. There is no way Edward _didn't _want some kind of illegal career choice."

"You really wanna know what he wanted to do?" I smiled and winked at her in the rear view mirror.

"Well if she doesn't I do." My sister yelled.

"Tell us Jasper." Bella smiled widely.

"Alright, you asked for it. He wanted to become a pimp."

Both Bella and Rose looked at each other and then at me in shock. Bella took off her seat belt and leaned in between the seats to gape at me.

"You're kidding?" Rose said her voice completely shocked.

I shook my head and smiled while keeping my eyes on the road.

It was a stupid motive on my part to completely ignore Edward's pleas from so many years ago that I never tell Bella about his desire to take money from women after he sold their asses out. But making sure Bella never wanted to go back to him was a sick deep seeded insecurity of mine. I had to have her. But at least I never lied to her.

"That is disgusting!" Bella yelled.

I nodded again. Ah, I had gotten the girls all riled up over this. I didn't even feel bad. They asked. I didn't offer.

I started to laugh.

We arrived at Rose's apartment she shared with The E Team.

Emmett came bounding down the stairs to give Bella a hug. He gave her a signature bear hug which all the girls hated because they couldn't breath, but he didn't care.

"Fuck! You guys, I am so sorry!" He said after he put Bella's tiny body back on earth.

"Whatever, Emmett." Rose said snidely as she walked by him pulling Bella with her by the hand.

Bella looked back at me and smiled. She had won the game on the plane and was expecting me to perform some of the fun activities we agreed upon while on the plane, once we got a hotel room. She wanted me to tickle her back and shit like that. I would happily pay up.

We both watched as the girls made it up the stairs and Rose made a point of slamming the door. I had to chuckle and shake my head. I do love my sister so.

"Fuck. Rosie is so pissed at me. I am sleeping on the couch."

"Good."

"Don't you wanna know if Bella is safe up there?" Emmett was of course referring to Edward.

I wasn't. Bella didn't want him and that was all that mattered. It was me that carried the insecurities. Not her. But nobody needed to know that either.

"Nope. He is not my problem. That dumbass belongs to _you_. But now you belong to Laurent. So is he coming with us?"

"I told him he_ had_ too. Because he was the one that told me Laurent wouldn't give a shit!" Emmett was such a whining pussy ass fool.

"That's bullshit! You knew Laurent would come after his money. Edward doesn't know shit about business. All he ever did was drink." I shook my head and climbed on the back of Rose's red Audi. "Why would you listen to him?"

"I don't know. I just wanted out of there. I should have come to Texas."

"Ya think?" I asked sarcasm lacing my voice.

As we stood in the parking lot of this apartment complex I realized how good Bella and I had it.

My sister and these two idiots lived in a dump. One of those C shaped buildings with two floors.

Paper thin walls and doors and with ugly old windows. No garage on site for the tenants and a pool that was filled with nasty looking water in the middle surrounded by a chain link fence. How the fuck can you have an outside pool in Washington State? You're already wet 24/7.

I knew none of them could afford much. Rose worked on campus at the Financial Aid office. A job that gave her good hours for her classes but not much in compensation. Emmett was working as a cashier at a video store near by which also paid shit and gave him shitty hours. Emmett had told me that Edward was merely a volunteer at a hospital. Which I thought was stupid. But whatever. He wasn't helping us with rent so I didn't care.

Bella had this cute little house that I got to call mine now. A garage that held all of my automotive girls. I had a great job that was allowing me to finish my degree but still keep me on the payroll.

Bella was a fuckin' genius so she had grants and scholarships that paid for everything. Shit, she was only going to have to pay for little things out of pocket. So we socked pretty much everything away after we paid for school and we lived off my pay. The girl was a miser. Fuck so was I. We were both pretty sure we didn't give a shit if you couldn't take it with you when you died, because at least we had it now.

"So when are we leaving?" Emmett asked.

"Tomorrow. Before we leave I wanna get Bella up to Forks."

He nodded. "She isn't pissed about all the shit we did?"

I looked at him. "No man, she already knew the stuff I did."

"She did! You fucking told her?"

"Yeah. I told her before I moved in." I answered with annoyance in my voice.

"I don't know." He shrugged like a little kid getting yelled at by his father. "I just figured she would be pissed. She's always been such a straight laced chick."

"She was cool about it." Bella was completely kind and forgiving. She just let me vent and get everything off my chest to her. She never judged me; Bella was the only person in my life other than family who didn't.

"Well shit. Rose kicked my ass._ I can't believe you did that shit_...on and on!" He started flailing his arms around using a high pitched voice.

We laughed at the idea of my sister acting that way.

The sun was setting and another car pulled in beside Rose's.

The damn Volvo Driving pussy was home.

Edward got out of his car and immediately came over to me. It did not escape my memory that the last time we were together I had caught him looking at Bella's tits, so I was still a little pissed.

"Hey Jasper." Edward was carrying a large pizza. A peace offering?

"What's up?" I asked but he knew I didn't care.

"I brought dinner." _ Thank you for stating the obvious._

"Let's go eat this and drink some beer. When are you leaving for Forks?" Emmett asked as they started for the stairs. I slid off my perch and followed.

"In a couple hours. Rose is gonna drive us up there and I'll get my car and drive back down tomorrow morning. Rose is gonna stay in Forks too."

Both nodded at me. I was hoping I had covered all the bases and didn't miss anything that could jeopardize my sister or Bella. It was obvious these two idiots didn't.

We headed into the apartment which was just as shitty on the inside as it was on the outside. Although I could tell that Rosie had tried to improve the setting with fabrics and home made crafts, just like our mother had done over the years.

Bella and Rose were in the kitchen drinking beer and laughing about some shit at Rose's work.

It would have been nice to hang out with these people if there wasn't so much fucked up history. The only reason Bella and I stopped here was because Rose threw a full on bitch fit that we rescue her too.

We separated by gender which made me laugh. Edward and Emmett were terrified of Rose, and Bella thought they were both idiots. So I had to hang out with them.

As the evening became night we decided to leave. I hadn't had anything to drink so I was driving.

I started down the steps heading toward Rose's car. There was an uncomfortable silence outside. I looked to my right and saw nothing but as I turned to my left not twenty feet away was a black car stopped in the middle of the road. I wasn't sure if it was idling or off.

Before I realized what was happening a flash came from the passenger side window of the car along with a loud pop, and then I felt a sharp pain in my stomach.

I turned in slow motion to see Bella's eyes widen and reach out for me as I fell down four more stairs down to the ground.

Bella immediately got on her knees beside me cradling my head in her lap. I heard another pop and the screeching of tires, but I had to close my eyes then, and let the darkness take me away. I wanted to make sure Bella was okay because I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hear anything except the tires.

Then everything was gone.

AN- * **turns tail and hides** *


	24. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer- If I owned it, I would be such happy girl. But alas, I do not.**

**Songs for this chapter-Wait Til You See My Smile by Alicia Keys**

**Mynxi is the bomb beta. **

Wanted

Chapter 25 BPOV

"Miss, you need to let me look at your arm." Someone was talking to me.

They needed to help Jasper and shut the hell up about me. I kept walking through the emergency room.

The white walls. Blue curtains. The rapid action. The noise made everything feel more hectic and out of control.

Why was my arm so important now? Nobody even noticed while we were in the ambulance.

It really didn't even hurt that much.

I felt nauseous.

My mother died in a place like this. I hate hospitals. I realize that my career choice was ridiculous because of my disdain of hospitals. I figured I would go into general medicine, research, or the field. Hospitals weren't the only place to practice medicine.

The blood and Rosalie's screaming. The ambulance and the sirens.

Jasper.

They wouldn't let me get close to him. Jasper was unconscious again. He had opened his eyes and looked at me as he lay on the gurney inside the ambulance, he grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go.

I was able to hold my tears at bay until they took him from the emergency room to surgery. It all happened so fast.

We had been having fun. The last time we were together had been for Alice's funeral. This was supposed to be serious because Jasper and Emmett had to deal with a criminal, but the five of us were having fun.

Rosalie and I made fun of Emmett and Edward from the kitchen while they bitched. Jasper had told them both they were pussies and that they needed to lighten up.

When we decided to leave Jasper grabbed my waist to help me out the door. Rosalie and I were drunk. He had just let me go and started ahead of me when I watched him look around. He probably wanted to break my fall if I fell forward.

Then the pop. It sounded like a black cat firecracker on the Fourth of July, but there was only two instead of a succession of pops.

Rosalie was the first person to see I was shot too. I didn't even notice. It was just my left forearm.

I held Jasper's head in my lap because I was in shock. When I saw the blood staining his shirt from the inside I was able to snap out of it.

Edward was already calling 911 when I woke up.

"Rose, get me clean towels!" I yelled.

I ripped open Jasper's shirt and put pressure directly on small wound. "Don't you dare die Jasper Hale!"

I heard something behind me.

Squealing tires? _Not again! _

"Are they coming back?" I heard someone ask.

Edward kneeled down pushing me out of the way to get to Jasper's abdomen with a towel.

"He could bleed to death or get sepsis!" I screamed at Edward as Emmett pulled me to the side.

"No! Bella, he isn't going to die. The hospital is only five minutes away."

Gut wounds have a 15 minute time line before they are fatal. At least that is what research has told us. But every case is different. My boyfriend is in incredibly good health but if the bullet hit a major organ then all bets were going to be considerably tighter.

I looked at my watch; Jasper had been shot three minutes ago. _If the emergency personnel was already out on another emergency or further away that the hospital...._I started to panic.

In that moment the sirens were sounding and the lights were flashing.

"Bella! You're bleeding!" Rosalie came over beside me and wrapped one of the towels around my arm. I looked at Rosalie she was as wide eyed and scared as I was.

Rose pulled me into a hug. "He's going to be okay, Bella. My brother is the strongest guy I know." She whispered into my ear. I nodded on to her shoulder.

I knew I should be providing her support but I was numb. Jasper was laying half on the grass and half on the concrete.

The neighbors were gawking and the damn rubber neckers from the street were beginning to arrive. God I hate people sometimes.

The EMTs were working quickly at putting Jasper on the bus (another word for ambulance) in front of us as the police were walking over.

Edward told the EMTs all the information and then looked at me. Rosalie whispered that she and the boys would be there as soon as possible.

I got into the back of the ambulance and I saw Jasper's eyes open. He had an oxygen mask but that didn't stop me from kissing him. Our hands and fingers intertwined. Somehow just his touch calmed me. His eyes closed again, and the EMT in the back with me pushed me back and I had to let go of Jasper's hands.

The EMT's were talking. Frightening words like abdominal trauma, extraperitoneal, perforation, breach, and low velocity gun shot. These were words I wanted to understand because I wanted to be a doctor, now I wanted to run away from medicine. I wanted to be ignorant and believe that Jasper wasn't shot or at least it couldn't be that bad.

The lights of the emergency room took a lifetime, but according to the radio we arrived in less than five minutes. Edward was right. But now we were at eight minutes for Jasper. The back doors of the bus flew open and two people, a man and a woman, in light green scrubs grabbed the end of Jasper's gurney, pulling him free they ran with him towards the huge glass doors.

Someone yelled something as I jumped down from the ambulance. But I was already jogging in.

As I got through the sliding doors I saw the backsides of Jasper's residents as they went into an elevator at the end of the long white hall.

I don't know how long I stood there and stared at the closed doors.

"Miss?"

_Maybe if I ignore them they will go the hell away._

"Miss?"

_Nope._

Finally I turned to my right to see a youngish looking woman staring at me expectantly. She raised an eyebrow at me and asked me if I wanted to change my clothes.

_Was she kidding?_

"No. I don't."

She wasn't going anywhere. "What do you want?" I asked quietly.

"We need you to do some paperwork for your husband." She said with a straight face. Her name tag read Bree. Great I am talking to cheese. She was wearing street clothes not scrubs or a white coat, she was looking for money.

"He's no...." _Shut up Bella!_ _If they think you are a spouse you can stay after visiting hours. _I chastised myself. "Okay, what do you need?"

"Follow me."

And I did.

She needed information for Jasper to get admitted. They handed me form after form. Legally I knew what I was doing was wrong, but what if they didn't give him the right care? I knew all of his personal information. I memorized his social security number and driver's license number the first week he lived with me. It had been a bet from him that I didn't have an amazing memory. So foolish. He lost with an amazed look on his beautiful face.

I remember everything.

I walked out of the small office where I had lied about mine and Jasper's marital status and stepped back into the hallway that led to the emergency room. I didn't know where else to go.

I looked around. The room was just as busy as when I left to fill out paperwork.

I tried several times to find someone that could help me. There were a lot of "Oh, sorry," and "Go to the front desk". But it was almost ten. No one was working any desk. Just Bree the chick that takes insurance information. No one else.

Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie still hadn't arrived at the hospital yet. But then again they had to speak to the police.

"Miss, you need to let me look at your arm."

Who was talking to me? Can't these people leave me alone to wallow? And why can't I get someone's attention to tell me where Jasper is?

I turned to my left and saw a chubby young man with bad skin and kind eyes. He was barely a half an inch taller than me. A pouch belly. A terribly ordinary looking person who seemed to know I needed to cry.

He led me to a small curtain enclosed area that held a small hospital bed.

I started to breath quickly the minute I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Slow your breathing down." He said quietly. "That was your husband? The one who got shot?"

I winced as he cut the hand towel away from arm. The blood had clotted and stuck to my wound.

He lifted my arm and looked underneath. "The bullet just grazed you, although it is deep. You're going to need stitches. But we have to clean this and it is going to hurt. By the way my name is Tyler."

I wiped at my face with my other hand and nodded again although I had no tears. "I can find out what happened to him. Okay?" My stubby savior said quietly.

"Thank you." I said softly. Why couldn't I cry?

He nodded and kept working on my arm.

Twenty minutes later, after Tyler had left to try and obtain information regarding my _husband,_ I heard my name being bellowed through the emergency room corridor. Three familiar voices were yelling for me.

I poked my head around the curtain. "Hey." I said quietly at them.

"Where's Jasper?" Rosalie was at my side before I knew it.

"The guy looking at my arm is finding out."

"Jesus Bella! What happened to you?" Edward said grabbing my injured arm like an idiot.

I winced.

"She got shot too, stupid." Rosalie answered for me.

"When?" Emmett asked.

I rolled my eyes and Rosalie once again answered. "How many fuckin' times have we been involved in gun play tonight, Emmet?!" Rosalie's accent only came out when she was upset or incredibly drunk, and tonight she sounded like Annie Oakley. Rosalie started crying and leaned into me for comfort.

Tyler came back in and looked surprised to see we had company. Especially two guys that towered over my little savior.

"Um, okay this is what I found out. He's still in surgery, but they don't _think _anything vital was hit. The bullet went right through. But of course they have to deal with the possibility of sepsis. He will be brought to recovery on the fourth floor."

"What the hell is _sepsis_? You and Edward were talking about it at the apartment." Emmett practically yelled at me.

"It's an internal bacterial infection. If his stomach was hit, the bile could cause an infection if it got into his blood stream. But they aren't done yet." Tyler said quietly with a gentleness that helped calm all four of us. _This guy was going to make a great doctor, especially if he works with kids._

"Thank you. I want to work with children." Tyler said to me while my friends were looking at me like I was nuts.

"I don't think I have a filter...."

"Whatever. Let's just get upstairs." Rosalie blurted out. "Is she done?"

"Yes, but you will need to get some antibiotics and promise you will follow up with your primary as soon as you can.." Tyler said and handed me a script he already had printed out for me.

"Mrs. Hale, he's going to be fine." Tyler said from behind us.

I nodded at him.

We arrived at the elevator and I looked at Rose.

"Mrs. Hale?" Edward asked from beside me.

"That way I can see him after visiting hours! Don't be a dick."

Hearing that nothing vital was hit made both Edward and Emmett both physically relax but Rose was still a blubbering mess. I was still numb. I wouldn't believe anything until I saw his chest rise and fall with his breaths.

The fourth floor was a quieter version of the emergency room. Everything was white and blue, but instead of curtains it had glass doors.

The four of us walked past a desk and we were immediately bombarded with questions from a tiny woman with a ridiculously long name that I couldn't pronounce if I tried. Athedosi... I did try to pronounce it, I thought in my mind but when Edward whispered in my ear I sounded like I was retarded trying to sound it out, I realized that once again my inner filter was kaput.

"I think she's going into shock." Athedosi or whatever the hell her name was said and ran to get me a wheel chair.

"Can you please tell me where my brother is?" Rosalie completely ignored my predicament and started searching out Jasper. I preferred that. I needed to see him too.

"What is the name?"

"Hale, Jasper Hale. He's my brother!" Rosalie's crying ceased and now she was angry.

A few quiet seconds went by that felt like a long ass time and then finally, "Oh yes. J. Hale. His surgery has just ended. He will be brought to recovery and then here. You and Mrs. Hale can wait up here, but..." She paused and pointed to Emmett and Edward.

"I'm his brother and he's the brother in law. We're all family." Edward piped in. I looked up at him from my perch as did Rose and all of us were allowed to stay.

"He's going to be okay?" Rose asked desperately.

"You'll have to speak to the doctor."

"That was quick." I say.

"What the hell are you talking about Bella?" Rose asked me.

"Jasper's surgery it didn't take that long."

"Sweetie, how long do you think you've been here?" Emmett asked as he helped me up from the wheelchair.

I shrugged, "Couple hours maybe."

"Bella it's almost dawn. Jasper has been in surgery for a little over three hours." Edward explained.

"No I...." Wait how long had I been in the hospital. All of a sudden I remembered someone talking to me outside of the office after I got Jasper admitted. "Did I talk to a cop?"

Then I remembered what I said to the police officer. I told him about Laurent threatening Jasper. _I hope Jasper doesn't get pissed. But why would he? Because he's Jasper!_

"Yeah Bella, you did. Don't you remember? That was why we were able to finally come to the hospital. They weren't sure if it was a domestic thing or a drive by. We were the only witnesses so they wanted to talk to you first." Edward was squatting in front of me. He was looking in my eyes like he was trying to see something.

"What?"

"You went into shock. Or did you hit your head?"

"No and no kidding. What is it called when you for get stuff because of stress?"

"Situational amnesia." Edward shrugged, but stared into my eyes with a worried expression. "But you were in shock. You might start freaking out."

"I am not going to start screaming. So shut up." I pushed on his shoulders and he fell back on his ass. As he stood up, he shook his head at me and mumbled that I was going to be freaking out soon.

"You would think it would be nice to have two _almost_ doctor's in the family. But it's not." Emmett said as he threw his arm around Rosalie's shoulder.

Within ten minutes the lounge was filled with our families.

Poor Carol Hale was sobbing into her daughter's shoulder while Harry looked on behind her. My father was on his blackberry finding out about everything that had happened. And surprisingly Carlisle came too. He was looking at some documents and discussing Jasper's case with a couple people at the nurse's station.

**********

"Are you with Jasper Hale?"

We all looked over at the yet another chubby doctor standing in the doorway of the lounge. Doctors really don't look like they do on Grey's Anatomy. It was going to be up to Edward and I to pretty it up. Him with gynecology and me with _anything_ else.

The poor little doctor practically got jumped by all of them. But it was his mother that got the "_look into my eyes_" treatment. Which got her to at least stop crying for a few minutes. I loved Carol but she was giving me a headache with her hysterics.

It wasn't like we were doing Jasper any good.

I needed to figure some things out and being in this room with these people was not helping my brain. And the fact that Edward was watching me like I was about to jump through a window was probably the biggest pain in my ass of all.

Jasper was going to recover. Nothing vital was hit, but they wanted to keep him for a least a few days to make sure they didn't miss anything. A week would have been better, but the American insurance industry wouldn't have that even if it saved someone's life.

Carol and Rosalie were allowed to go in and see Jasper first. I think I was most pissed about that, even though I knew I shouldn't be. They were his mother and twin sister. _But I loved him_. They would never know how much.

For some reason I ended up at the other end of the lounge against the wall.

"Bella?" I heard my father speak.

Suddenly Edward was in front of me patting my cheeks. Carlisle was looking into my eyes with his pen light.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?"

"Bella, I think you are still having remnants of shock. Did anyone think to put you under observation?"

"Edward has been watching me like a hawk and pissing me off." I answered.

"Well good I'm glad someone was. Lord Bella. You were shot, you witnessed your boyfriend getting shot and bleeding....it's no wonder." Carlisle was a nice man. I always liked him.

"Maybe I shouldn't be a doctor." I said.

"No that is definitely not what I meant. The brain can only take so much and then it shuts down...."

I cut Carlisle off. "You cannot stop me from seeing Jasper!"

"No, of course not. I just think we need to give you a light sedative for nerves."

"Yeah, you can do that after I see him."

Carlisle took a deep breath. "Jasper just came out of surgery. We can't all go in there and risk him getting an infection."

"Don't belittle me Carlisle. I am not waiting to see him...."

Carlisle was quickly switching to my shit list along with his son. But Rosalie came back into the lounge to tell me that Jasper wanted to see me.

_Suck it, Carlisle. _

I shouldn't have said it. But I did apparently say it out loud again. Which is why Emmett was chuckling as I walked out of the room. All of this crap started because of Emmett, I was going to have to kick him in the balls sometime in the near future.

Rose had waited for me at the door jam and grabbed my hand as I walked up to her.

"Please, don't tell me anything bad." I said weakly.

"He's gonna be okay. He said he wants to hold your hand." She whispered as we got to the door.

My heart beat increased rapidly as we entered the room.

All the bells and whistles that go along with surgical and hospital equipment were all around the dark gray room.

My tall, beautiful, muscular man looked small and fragile lying on his back in the middle of this huge room with just a little incline for him to sit up.

"Bella." He said croaked quietly. _Couldn't they give him some water?_

Carol was holding Jasper's hand on the side of his bed closest to the door so I ran over to the side by the window.

To see and feel him, that was all I needed. My heart that was in a thousand tiny pieces was filling itself back up.

Jasper smiled as I got around the end of hospital bed and he brought up his left hand to cup my cheek when I reached him.

Now I could cry.

**AN- If you guys were pissed about Bella being kind of weird during her stay at the hospital. Get over it. I handle stress pretty pathetically too. I usually ignore the issue and just start moving like a robot. This is why Bella did that. **And a little message to my angry readers...Like I would really kill Jasper! COME ON! He's the chocolate to my nougat, you know if you love Three Musketeers, which I do. He's the rubber to my water balloon! So there ya go! I do love you guys...even those of you who wanted to beat my ass or shoot me. =D

**So leave me a review....my ego needs it.**


	25. Chapter 26

Disclaimer- If I owned it.....oh crap I would be rich!

Mynxi is my fuckawesome beta!

I got a treat for ya....both POV's in this chappy. ;) Enjoy.

Songs for this chapter **Constant Craving by K.D. Lang** and **Nightswimming by REM** (I love this song so much) and **In Dreams by John Waite** and **Wounded Bird by Charles and Eddie**

Wanted  Chapter 26

BPOV

I gave myself a monster of a headache from all the crying I did after Jasper woke up from the surgery. We didn't talk much because his throat hurt so much.

But when he saw my arm I could see the wheels in his brain moving. He was pissed. He almost died and didn't get mad, one look that I was injured all of sudden there is fire in his eyes. I guess I should be flattered, but deep down I was thinking he was a caveman and would probably do something stupid under the guise of revenge for my little bullet graze.

After a couple days in the hospital he was still sleeping a lot, but not nearly as pissed at me. Rosalie and his mother both told him he was an idiot. So that helped.

Jasper was asleep now. It was always amazing to me when I watched him sleep. He looked like an angel. He was so beautiful.

Carol and Rose were talking about something while sitting on the only two chairs in the room. I sat uncomfortably on the heater. Luckily my ass is small so I didn't slide off.

But my father wanted to talk to me again. Obviously word had gotten back to him regarding what happened last night. It wasn't random. None of us thought it was.

I hadn't told Jasper yet. I wasn't hiding it, I was just a blubbering mess by the time I actually got to see him, so I kind of forgot.

But Charlie wanted to know and he wanted to hear it from me. I told him I would be out to talk to him in the lounge after Jasper went to sleep. That was two naps ago.

Now Jasper was on his third and I was afraid of my father.

I remembered my conversation. The big one, that one that Jasper is gonna be pissed about. Yeah, that one. I did leave out crucial things to the police I was pretty sure. Like, car stealing, steroid dealing, and just general stupid ass stuff by Jasper and Emmett. I didn't throw Emmett under the bus, although he so deserved it.

All I said was Jasper was being stalked by a weird guy he knew from Texas. The cops' insistence that Jasper and I shot each other was pretty moronic, but hey whatever floated their weird little boats.

The dark haired cop named Paul was an asshole. "Miss, we have witnesses..."

_What the?_

"To Jasper and me shooting at each other like we were in a _duel._ Are you kidding me, Paul?"

The red haired cop named Riley was an asshole but at least not stupid. "Maybe we should find out from the other three?" He said to Paul. I liked to use a cop's first name when I talked to him. My father had once mentioned it to his friends that it drove him nuts. I took it as a sign to attempt not to be railroaded should I ever need that knowledge.

I sat on the heater watching Jasper sleep. His color was starting to come back and he didn't talk like a frog anymore.

Jasper looked like an innocent angel when he slept.

I hadn't realized my mouth was hanging open while I sat there staring at him, until Rosalie used her pointer finger to push it shut.

I looked over at her and smiled shyly.

"I thought you were gonna start catching flies." She snorted as she scooted next to me on the heater. "You okay?"

"No." I turned and fixed my eyes back on Jasper.

"He's not going to be mad at you."

I turned to face her and gaped. "Have you not met the man?" I asked sarcastically.

She started laughing as their mother joined in on the other side of the room.

"Oh Darlin', we can't let that evil son of a bitch come back and finish the job," Carol said as she walked over to me and placed her hands on the sides of my face. "Can we?"

I shook my head in agreement with her. So at least I had his family on my side.

Then my father poked his head around the corner of the door looking for me.

"He's sleeping." Charlie stated the obvious.

"I realize that." I was a little more snarky with my dad than I meant to be.

"Get out here." _Damn, I felt like a freakin' kid_.

I slid off the heater and headed towards the door leaving my man and his loud family behind. I heard Rosalie tell her mother that the conversations I have with my father are so much simpler than theirs. Before I closed the door I heard Carol chortle and agree with her.

I shook my head and turned to look for my father. He was already halfway down the hall and I had to jog to catch up to him.

"Where are you going?" I was annoyed.

My father brought his right hand up to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose while letting out an overly dramatic sigh. "Ah, Isabella Marie Swan, when were you two going to tell me your boyfriend had done juvie time for stealing cars?"

My eyes widened but I quickly recovered from the shock of my father's conversation piece before he opened his eyes.

"Um...."

_Yeah, I am really not that good under pressure._

"That's it?" His glare made me feel like a little girl that just stole my father's favorite fishing pole and broke it.

"No." _I was on a roll with acting like a little kid_.

"Isabella Marie..."

"Stop using my whole name." I whined.

Charlie backed into the wall and leaned tensely against it staring at me. "Start talking. The truth."

I knew in my heart that my father was loyalty first to the law. How could I tell him what I knew without getting Jasper into trouble? I had to make the decision to ruin my relationship with my father by lying or to destroy my relationship with the love of my life. _Strangely it wasn't as hard to make the decision as you would think._

"I can't, Dad. I'm sorry."

"Whatever the hell this is, got you both shot. Now, right now all I know is that Jasper was involved with some kind of auto theft ring in Texas. The least you can tell me is if this was why the two of you were shot."

I stared at him, the tears stinging my eyes.

"Sweet Jesus! I can't believe you would hide evidence....."

"I haven't hidden anything Dad! Come on!"

"Tell me." I saw his face lighten up and finally he said what I needed to hear. "It won't go any further than you and me. I won't allow Jasper to get in trouble for this stuff. It's not like I caught him in the act. I know you love him, Bella."

"Promise?" I asked weakly.

"I promise. But I can't allow you to be in danger no matter how much you care about that kid."

I understood where he was coming from. But Jasper was so important to me he was not just the one I had craved for so long his mere presence made it easier to breath now.

So I told my father. Some of it. I may have altered some of the details that I knew. But I explained how Jasper went to Austin and ended up meeting Laurent and was forced into stealing cars. As far I was concerned Jasper was a victim that caught up with the wrong people. I think my father saw through that.

"Jasper?" He guffawed, "No Honey, that is one guy who could make it out of prison riot unscathed."

"Don't say _prison_!" I smacked at the air in front of my father which got him laughing.

"I didn't mean it like that. He just has kind of a Teflon appearance to him."

_Yeah right. _

With my father placated and with a name to process I went back into Jasper's room.

He was still sleeping peacefully and his mother and sister had left so I was able to relax into one of the chairs that lined the far wall in his room. If anything I had a great view of his feet.

I started to relax almost immediately and I felt my eyes start to flutter with the exhaustion that was overwhelming me.

_The dream started a week after Jasper came back to Colorado and after he officially became my boyfriend and my roommate._

_He wanted to learn all my other quirks which I thought was ridiculous, but since neither one of us had actually lived with a lover I knew he was right._

"_Okay, but what about yours?"_

"_I don't have any, Baby. I am about as perfect as they come."_

_I busted out laughing listening to him and watching him as he spread his arms and motioned towards his frame._

_My body was totally agreeing with him, but I still had to call him out._

"_Oh yeah right! Perfect."_

"_Let's go swimming," he said like a little kid._

_I turned and looked at the window from my perch on the couch, "It's snowing."_

"_Aren't there any indoor pools in this town?"_

_I shrugged. "I don't even know if I have a swimming suit." I hopped off the couch and ran to the bedroom. With this assertion Jasper got even more excited. _

"_This is gonna be fun."_

_I wasn't sure if I could agree with him. I sucked at all things athletic and if you threw in some water there was even a bigger chance of my imminent death. He smiled at me as I mumbled that out loud._

"_Baby, you're not gonna die. I will be there. I'm a great swimmer." Shit, Jasper was a great everything._

_Since it was around almost ten at night and there was a snow storm I wasn't sure how we would find an indoor pool. Hotels would work. But then I was also worried that we would have to rent a room if we were caught._

"_Bella you worry too much. This is gonna be fun." He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but return it. _

"_Why does it snow so much?" Jasper was getting frustrated._

"_March and April are the snowiest months in Colorado." I stated._

_He looked at me shocked. "These should be the spring months."_

_I shrugged. I had no answer. This was Colorado. The joke was "If you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes."_

_Jasper found his destination. A Holiday Inn with an open indoor pool off Hwy 36, it was perfect._

_We both had on our swimming suits under out sweats and bulky jackets as we walked in._

_There was no one at the front desk so we both ran for the hall in search of the chlorine smell that was filling our nostrils. It wasn't hard to find and it was empty._

"_This is fuckin' perfect!" Jasper started stripping out of his clothes, wearing just his green Bermuda shorts under his warm clothes, he ran for the side of the pool and dove directly into the water. He looked amazing. When he surfaced he threw his head back making his beautiful blond hair swing and a loud "woot"._

"_Nice," I said, taking my time getting out of my clothes. I really didn't swim well._

"_Get your tiny ass in this pool!"_

"_Tiny ass?" I asked in mock shock._

"_If you don't get over here, I will get out and throw you in," Jasper threatened. The way he said it wasn't humorous but menacing. I looked over at him as I pulled my sweats the rest of the way off to expose the rest of my simple light blue one-piece and saw that he had gotten out of the water and was now stalking toward me like a wet leopard. _

"_What the hell, Jasper?" I squealed as I tried to back away from him. But as with most attempts at strenuous activities, unless I was on my back, I tripped and started to fall on my ass. _

_Jasper's strong arms were around me. He threw me over his shoulder and walked over to the water. I smacked his perfect wet ass that was hiding under his shorts._

"_Baby, you did not just spank me."_

"_Put me down you brute!"_

_A quick swat on my own ass and I was air born._

_Instead of my ass hitting the floor I hit the water and sank quickly._

_When I came up Jasper was on top of me again only this time he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him._

"_You are an asshole!" I yelled with laughter in my voice._

"_You, pretty girl are much too uptight about dumb shit. We came here to swim not fuck around."_

_I couldn't help my next actions because it was bullshit that he called me uptight._

"_Oh really? Uptight?" I wrapped my arms around his neck while my feet latched around his waist._

"_If I say you're a prude will you go down on me?"_

_I let my legs bring his tighter and his hands rested under my butt and began moving me against his growing erection. "If you play your cards right I might let you fuck me here."_

_The smile that came across his mouth was so damn sexy I wanted to rip our collective bath suits off._

"_Hmmm, a public fuck? I didn't know you would be interested in that my sweet girl."_

_Messing with me was only going to get him so far, and then I would have to play my cards. _

_I let go quickly of both his waist and neck and started swimming away. _

_Feigning anger was fun._

"_Well I guess we'll never find out." I was swimming to the edge when my waist was grabbed and pulled into Jasper's hard lean body._

"_Baby, you're not going anywhere."_

_He moved his hand down to my pelvis and worked under the flimsy material of my suit and pushed a finger inside me._

"_God." I whimpered._

"_Yeah, you like that? All I wanna do is see you come, Baby." He whispered seductively in my ear._

_Jasper moved us to the shallow side and pushed my chest against the side of the pool, while his finger remained working my pussy expertly._

_In mere seconds after I was pushed into the wall Jasper's hand pushed the crotch of my suit completely out of the way and he plunged his perfect cock inside of me._

_I screamed as quietly as I could and threw my head into his chest. Jasper began pumping in and out me and a pace that felt unreal. His hard grunts and groans with my name and his nickname for me interlaced together made me even more turned on._

_His hands had made their way inside of my suit where he cupped my breasts and rubbed my nipples with his thumbs. I arched my ass and pushed my breasts into him as much as I could. _

_I had never felt this way about anyone. I couldn't get close enough to Jasper. It was like I wanted his whole body, his whole being inside of me; the way he smelled, the feel of his skin, the tickle of his hair, his deep voice, his amazing body, hypnotizing smile, or his beautiful brain. I wanted it all, not just his cock, tongue, and fingers. But I would take those in heartbeat because the boy was an expert with those._

_We came together just before we were caught._

"_Oh yes, Richard. Here's the pool!" An older couple opened the smoked glass of the door to the pool just as we were pulling apart. They were both about seventy and heavy set. They carried their hotel towels like a protective shield in front of their slightly exposed bodies._

_Guilt. We were both flushed, and we used this public pool like our own bed. _

_The woman smiled at me warmly. I couldn't help but return the gesture. But when I turned to Jasper I was blushing profusely._

_Jasper was smiling devilishly. When he saw my reaction he started to chuckle. "It's okay. Stop worrying so much, Baby." Jasper whispered in my ear._

"_But what about....." I motioned toward the water._

"_You're the doctor. Doesn't chlorine kill everything?"_

"_Yeah, probably."_

_He smiled that one smile that could get me to attack him again._

"_Well I just would hate for that woman to use her last viable egg to sprout a kid that looked nothing like her husband. But looked just like that one young man from the pool we saw last Spring in Colorado." I joked._

_Now Jasper's laugher was uncontrollable as he pushed me towards the steps so we could leave. "Baby, I think she ran out of those a few decades ago!"_

_Jasper and I hopped out of the pool as fast as we could and made our way to our sadly discarded clothing. We both got dressed quickly as the older couple dipped their feet in the pool to test the water, while they were holding hands. Once they reached the deep side of the pool's edge they jumped in together while still holding hands._

_I smiled brightly at the sight without realizing it._

_When I turned back to see Jasper, his eyes were fixed on my face. It was like we were seeing our future. _

JPOV

I woke up feeling thirsty. My throat was on fire.

I looked around and saw the only person in the room was Bella. She was curled up in the over-sized chair like a cat. She looked comfortable only because she was sleeping so soundly.

I looked at her for a few minutes waiting for the guilt that would undoubtedly bite my ass in a few seconds.

Isabella was my angel. She had been since I first laid my dirty eyes on her. If I hadn't walked in front of her....she's so _short_. If Bella had been the first one down the steps the bullet could have hit her heart.

I sat up slowly wincing at the pain that was throbbing inside my lower torso. I took two deep breaths to get through the piercing pain and then looked for the button to call a nurse in.

In less than a minute an older woman with short red hair and a sweet smile came in to see what I needed. I explained the thirst and she left to get me ice water. The pain meds in my IV were dinging to start the next dose which sounded like an a beautiful song. I also said a small prayer that I wouldn't need the morphine much longer. I hated being dependent on something like that. It made me feel weak.

Bella hadn't even taken a Tylenol for her arm. But of course when I spoke to my sister about it she reminded me that Bella was in severe shock that night and most of the next morning until she was able to see me, and after that, Bella simply forgot she had been shot too.

I had also heard from everyone else that my sweet girl had opened her mouth to the cops. I actually was more pissed that her dad was going to know about my past. I liked the guy and wanted him to like me. My favorite part of this whole bullshit ordeal was hearing that Bella was pretending to be my wife so she could stay during non visiting hours. It was almost worth getting my ass shot to hear that. _Almost._

Rose had told me that Bella was afraid to tell me which hurt worse. I never wanted Bella to be scared to tell me anything. Bella was a good girl, she always had been. My world, hell all of our worlds, was too much for someone like her. Bella would argue all day that she knew everything and was tough.

_Whatever_, book smarts is completely different that street smarts. She was way too innocent, no matter how dirty she liked to get fucked.

I smiled thinking about the last time we were together. The morning before we came to Washington. We fought afterward. We always argued about something.

Fuck! I loved her so much it made my heart ache.

The nurse came back in and told me her name was Siobhan. She had noticed Bella asleep when she first came in and was quiet as we spoke.

She took my vitals and told me about the physical therapy regime that I would have to begin to get back to work and real life.

I found out this morning that Bella had already contacted my boss and told Jake what was going on. When I spoke with Jake and he told me that my girlfriend was evil incarnate because she could have made him promise me a six figure salary with the guilt trip she laid on him on my behalf.

_My tenacious little kitten._

"Why didn't you?" I asked my awesome boss.

"Tell ya what. Finish your damn degree and then we'll talk about a raise." Jake chuckled into the receiver. "Damn Jasper, you're the most laid back guy I have ever met. How do you have so much drama running around you?"

"Stupid friends."

"That's the truth. You get back in top shape and come back, I'll buy you a few beers and we'll see if we can't find you some better friends."

My boss was a cool guy. We had similar temperaments. I didn't expect accolades when I finished a project and I took full responsibility if the team didn't finish. He liked that I just didn't act like a pussy like the rest of the guys on the team. Bunch of idiots. But I couldn't wait to get back to work.

I just wanted to get back to real life and be with my girl and her stupid cat. "I can _not _believe I just thought of that cat." I said to myself.

Bella was dreaming. She was mumbling in her sleep. If I was closer I would have been able to hear what she was dreaming about.

Bella being a sleep talker was great. I could always have the information she was too nervous to tell me or shit I could lord over her for fun.

Rose came in with McDonald's.

"Rose, are you trying to kill me? I can't eat that!"

"So selfish. This is for Bella, King Jasper. Mom wanted to make sure she kept up her strength to deal with your dumb ass." She scolded with an evil smirk.

"That sucks too."

"Shut up. Don't be getting shot in the stomach and then you can eat whatever you want."

I watched her eat a couple fries out of the bag of food that was supposedly for Bella.

I turned away from the fact that I couldn't eat solid food right now and watched Bella.

"Is she talking in her sleep?"

I smiled widely. "Yeah, she does it every night. Unless she's really drunk. But she tells me everything while she's drunk anyway."

Rose giggled. "I know you don't want to hear this. But Mom wants you to go home with her when you're released."

"No." _You gotta be kiddin' me!_

"She'll make you blueberry pancakes and crunchy bacon...."

"Shut up! I get to eat applesauce and meat smoothies for another week or something." I whined.

Once again my sister laughed at me and stole another pinch of Bella's fries.

"Bella will take care of me." I looked over at my pretty girl as she stirred and pushed out her puffy pink lips as if she was kissing someone in her sleep. Somehow I knew she was kissing me.

"Of course she will." Rose agreed.

Rose and Emmett leaned quietly yet looking annoyed on the heater by the window of my room, while Bella sat on a little chair next to the bed as my mother ranted about not leaving the state of Washington until the "worthless little fucker" that shot Bella and I was caught.

"Yeah, but Mom, Washington is where we got shot." I was trying to make my case. She wasn't impressed. But then again I was pretty sure I was whining.

"That is irrelevant Jared!"

"I thought we were always supposed to call him Jasper?" Rosalie chimed in just to cause more trouble.

My mother looked at Rosalie with that evil stink eye mother's get when they are really pissed but can't formulate words because they really wanna cuss the kid out. That was the look my mom had for both of the Hale twins right now.

Bella sat completely still as if she was a scared rabbit in a clearing of wolves.

"Isabella?" My mother was going for the throat.

"Mom, don't start on Bella." I said angrily.

"Yeah, come on you can always go to Colorado with them, or better I could." Rosalie said without a hint of bullshit.

Emmett turned to look at her with a shocked expression.

"We don't need _you_ there either, Rose." I said emphatically.

Sweet Bella was smart not to get involved. She sat quietly watching a family feud brewing.

My family, we took our time getting to a resolution. Bella and Charlie spoke with a minimal amount of syllables and came to an agreement under a few minutes. With my mom, Rose, and I finding a solution could take us weeks.

While the fight of the Hale's went on, Charlie walked into the room to watch. I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was looking at Bella with a confused look on his face, and I saw her shrug.

God that was how I wanted to communicate with ease! My sister and my mother always brought out the idiot in me.

"God, Momma! I'm a grown man...."

"If you were such a damn grown up what the hell were doin' involved with these monsters'! Huh?"

That I didn't have an answer to. I just really wanted to go back to sleep.

"Can I say something?" Charlie said from behind my mother.

She turned her head around so fast I was pretty sure my mother was going to have whiplash.

"What is it, Charlie?"

"I know it sounds insane but, the crime happened here in Washington. The guy was here, or he sent someone to do his dirty work. But they're gone now. Who the hell knows where they went Jasper. You and Bella need to have people around. You two need to be in Forks."

Bella threw herself back into chair and mumbled, "Give me a break!"

I liked Charlie. But right now I was wishing that I wasn't in love with his daughter. Then I could have told the guy to go to hell.

"That is right." My mother had backup. _Great._

"Dad could you please give me a small break, crap happens in Forks' too!" Bella said while crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Charlie. Momma. I gotta a job. Bella has school. We're goin' back to Boulder."

"Yeah." My girl chimed in.

Back in Colorado with a shit load of people in tow was not how I wanted to spend my homecoming with Bella. But Rosalie and Emmett lost the bet, and were about to move into our spare bedroom.

The only good news was, Edward didn't come too.

**AN- They're back suckin' in the Rocky Mountain High!!! YAYS **

**Happy my little Jasper luvahs?? Lemme know, mkay! **


	26. Chapter 27

Disclaimer- Twilight and all of it's recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyers. I own Mr. Mustachio and the convoluted plot of Wanted. Just for the record my car is paid off too.

Mynxi is a betabomb!! AND she's here =D

Songs for this chapter- **Modern Day Cowboy** by Tesla and **Mysterious Ways **by U2

Chapter 27 JPOV

"What?" Bella asked looking at me completely confused.

This was the first minute we could be alone since we left Seattle, hiding in our bedroom! My sister and her idiot boyfriend and for all intents and purposes my arch nemesis were here in _our_ house! And Bella asks me _why_.

"How the fuck did we end up babysitting them?"

Bella started with the obvious to placate me. "How should I know, Jasper. She's your sister."

"I know, I didn't agree to new roommates!" I yelled in a hushed voice.

"Rosie was already coming out here before we both got shot......"

"I know that."

"So?"

"How the fuck did we get stuck with Emmett? Rose doesn't even like him anymore!" This was a subject I really didn't want to get into with my sister, why she was still sleeping with Emmett? She looked at him like he was a bug that she wanted to squish. But I was gonna have to ask. I just felt like a chick asking.

Bella sat down on the edge of the bed and shrugged. If she didn't know why Emmett was here and I didn't know why the hell Emmett was here, we were fucked.

"You're too easy going about this crap. Shit, I practically moved in with you without your damn consent!"

She smiled her sweet smile and giggled at me, "I would have taken you any way I could get you."

I kicked off my shoes and went to lay behind her on the bed.

"Are you gonna be alright with _him_ here?" I asked, jealousy staining the words. I guess it was a territorial thing. I was feeling pretty caveman-like wanting to knock her over the head with a rock or some shit and keep her in a cave all to myself. _Which is what we had before all this shit happened!_

She turned to reach over and caressed my three days unshaven cheek. "It'll be fine. He won't try anything. But I gotta run down to Vic's to get Mr. Mustachio." With that, Bella leaned over to kiss my lips and walked out of the room.

I put my hands behind my head and leaned back on the twenty pillows that Bella kept on the bed. I would never admit it out loud but I loved them, they were so soft. I had the feeling Bella already knew that I loved her feminine touch on everything in the house. It makes it homey.

Lost in my pussy thoughts I didn't hear Emmett walk in, _uninvited I might add_, into Bella and my bedroom.

"Hey man, where'd Bella go? Rosie followed her."

"What the fuck?"

"Sorry, did I scare you?"

"Yeah, you fuckin scared me! Don't sneak up on a man that was recently shot!" I said as I got off the bed and headed back into the living room.

"Jasper, I'm really sorry all this shit happened. I know it's because of me...."

I turned around and glared at him. "Why didn't you say this in Washington?"

"Your mom, Rose, and Bella wouldn't let me. They wouldn't let Edward in, but they wouldn't let me talk to you. They thought I would upset you."

I started to laugh thinking about the three hens protecting me. I went and sat down on the couch. I turned on the television to effectively ignore this idiot.

"I am gonna make it right, Jasper. I will. You and Bella, especially Bella, don't deserve this."

"Goddamn right she doesn't! She had this perfect little corner of the world all set up for herself. Then me and my dumbass shit past come in and destroy it. _That includes you_!"

"Man. Fuck. I am so sorry."

I hadn't been looking at the big dumbass, but I was gonna have to stop pouting and deal with this shit. I would die if anything else happened to Bella. I knew Laurent's fucked up threat before had also included my sister and that shit was not going to happen.

"I don't need_ sorry,_ Emmett. I need your ass to come up with a solution."

He nodded and sighed while leaning back against the couch. Yep, that was the contribution I figured he would come up with. _ Dumbass_.

Bella and Rose showed back up sans the pain in the ass Butch, and Bella didn't look happy.

"Where's the fur ball?" I asked. My girl was fuming about something. Maybe Hell cat got Butch de-clawed. I would have to hug her if she did.

"Emmett." She said without a hint of humor.

"What?"

"You're allergic to cats! Since when?"

"Yeah, why? Always."

Finally the dumbass looked around. Bella had pictures of the stupid cat hanging on the walls like they were elementary school pictures of her kid.

"This is crap, Emmett!" Bella yelled and then pouted like a little kid. Her tiny arms crossed over her not so tiny chest, where my eyes went directly.

Good she's mad at him. Maybe at least Emmett would go home. Bella loved that cat. I think she loved the cat more than me.

"I am allergic!"

"Get a freakin' antihistamine! I want my boy home!"

Rose came to sit next to me on the couch while the fight between our lovers ensued over a fifteen pound, shitting and scratching machine that liked to get high on cat nip too much. "I think Bella will win." Rose said quietly as she grabbed the remote from my hand.

"I agree."

I had to smile. Bella was relentless, but she still wouldn't kick Emmett's large ass out. No. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She probably hadn't even thought of it. _I had._ I've been thinking of kicking his ass out since my mom and Charlie told me at the hospital that Emmett was coming.

The reason, Bella and I shouldn't be alone. I reminded everybody that Rose and Emmett _and_ Edward were there and we_ still_ got shot. It was like their ears were closed off. But then I also got the distinct impression that Charlie had something else going on. He looked too much like a cop, when I asked Bella on the plane about her dad. She agreed and figured we were being watched. Her father gets "_a little nuts"_, she said. _Yeah. No shit!_

After Bella handedly won the argument, she told Emmett where a Walgreen's store was so he could buy some Benadryl.

Now the family was back together. Because Hell Cat and Pete came down to the house as well.

Even though Pete and Emmett actually hated each other it was pretty fun, my sister and Hell Cat were quickly becoming best friends.

Bella was all over the cat and getting her ass chewed up in the process. Butch was jumping at her and biting her feet like she was a mouse trying to escape. He was pissed at her. It was funny, every few seconds she'd scream or scold him like he was a little kid.

"Vic! What the hell is going on with him? Did you mess with his kitty litter?" She whined from the bedroom as she unpacked our stuff.

When she came back out with a basket full of dirty clothes, the white ball of fur scratching at her heals; I asked her if she wanted any help. I was working the injured man routine to the hilt and she wasn't calling me out on it yet, so I kept it up.

"No baby, you rest. It's okay." Then she kicked at the cat, "You could keep Mr. Mustachio occupied while I get some SHIT DONE!" She finished her request turning towards the cat with a bellow, who cowered down pushing his ears back and hissed at her.

Butch followed her around the corner still attacking her feet. I could hear her mumbling about having him fixed again.

* * *

We were two weeks into our fucked up new living arrangement when we had our first contact with Laurent or one of his idiot worker bees and we also found out who Charlie had hired to watch out for us.

I was back at work, making up for lost time and having a blast. Bella had gotten tired of playing the entertainment committee for Emmett and Rose and started taking art classes. Those two usually argued all day while hiding out in the house.

I had a message on my desk telling me that Mr. Dyer had called and it was urgent I get back with him.

I looked at the number and recognized it as Bella's cell number. Of course I called it. Freaking out in the meantime.

"Hello, Baby." Bella said happily.

"Where are you?"

"Home. Why?"

"Who's there with you?"

"Both members of the Fight Club. Are you alright?"

I exhaled the breath I was keeping and took another deep one.

"Yeah, Baby. I just got a weird message. He knows your cell." I explained quietly.

"He probably stole our mail. I pay all our bills on-line, but the receipts still come in paper form to the house so I can keep track of them." Bella's voice sounded shaky. "Jasper, my dad has someone out here. I think we need to get them closer."

"Yeah. Call your dad." I wasn't going to argue about this anymore. Nobody was hurting Bella, again. And nobody was going to intimidate us.

When I got home at 5:30, I was met at the door by a huge dark haired guy.

"You, Jasper?"

"Yes?" Why was I questioning this?

"I'm Sam." He stuck out his enormous paw which I took to be his hand and I shook it. "Did you bring the message?"

"Yeah, but it's in the receptionist's handwriting...." I pulled out the inoffensive looking piece of bright pink paper out of my pocket and handed it to Sam, the Huge Man.

"May or may not be."

I went over to where Bella was sitting quietly on the couch with wide eyes. "Hey Baby. Where are Emmett and Rose?"

"He wanted....." She was cut off by the big guy.

"I don't want any distractions. You two need as few distractions as possible."

"Yeah, but.....ah, fuck it....Emmett is actually the one that owes Laurent the money." I finally said it. Jesus! It was getting old acting like we were some dumb ass mafia outfit. Loyalty could suck my dick. Bella needed to be taken out of the equation, today.

"This is news to me." Sam said eying me.

"Yeah well we were trying to keep this shit to the lowest common denominator....."

"And you think Chief Swan's only daughter is the lowest common denominator?"

"What? Fuck, no! I thought I could handle it on my own. The reason we were in Washington was so Bella wouldn't be in any danger."

Sam, the Big Giant Asshole, assessed me and then nodded. "Can we get Emmett over here?" He turned and looked at Bella.

"Okay, yeah. There over at Vic's." Bella pulled out her cell and dialed. Getting Emmett back down here. Sam then requested that Bella go up to Hell Cat's after Emmett arrived.

This was pissing me off. Now that Laurent was showing his ugly ass again I didn't want her apart from me.

"It'll be alright." He said simply, effectively ending the conversation that I wanted to have.

I got up and walked Bella over to Hell Cat's.

"What do you think he wants to talk to you guys about?"

"I have no idea. And what the fuck does he do?" I asked.

"Oh, um, my dad says he's ex military, currently a bounty hunter. They were friend's in the army. Apparently Sam, is awesome with a sniper rifle." She said nodding her head slowly.

Everything was falling into place, for both of us.

"Oh God, Jasper, he's gonna want to use you as bait or something!"

That was exactly what I thought.

"Maybe it'll just be Emmett." I tried to lighten the mood.

Bella started shaking her head and tears started rolling down her beautiful face.

"Baby, we haven't even heard what it is he is suggesting. Let's give it a second."

"You aren't going to be used as target practice......I can't freakin' believe my dad!"

I held her arms to her side since flailing them around was going to start any second, along with her Irish/Italian temper. "Baby, relax. I'll tell you everything. Okay?"

"Okay. I love you Jasper."

"Love you too."

I dropped my girl off and picked up the fucker that caused my life to go to shit.

I looked straight ahead while we walked.

"I really didn't need an escort, but thanks." Emmett said. He had been trying to engage me in a conversation since he arrived in Colorado. I mostly ignored him. I had nothing to say to him until he offered up his big ass to Laurent as the sacrificial lamb he needed to be.

"Shut up, Emmett."

He took a deep breath. The guy outweighed me by about seventy pounds and a couple inches in height, but I was the one that could fight. Emmett could use his size for sports but to throw a punch that could do real damage, he just didn't have it in him. He was scared of me.

"Jasper, I wish none of this happened....."

I stopped in my tracks and turned to him, effectively cutting him off, "None of this would have happened if you had manned up. Fuck, Emmett, you think you're a man, but you don't take care of your shit. When I introduced you to Laurent, I told you and Edward both this guy was a killer. A fucking monster. You both acted like little fucking kids getting ready to go into a toy store. Emmett, _you_ wanted it._ You_ asked for it. _ You_ signed in blood on the dotted line. But instead of being a man, and takin' responsibility for your shit, _you_ put Bella and Rose on the block. I may have gotten the worst damage but those two were the ones they were aiming at, and you fuckin' know it!"

I started towards the house again leaving his worthless ass behind me.

Sam was waiting for us in the kitchen. He was looking at his Blackberry intently.

"Your boy Dyer is _here_ in Colorado. So are two of his men. A Demetri Scott and a Marcus Krause."

Sam looked up as Emmett walked in behind me. The dumbass took his time following me.

"Scott and Krause have rap sheets as long as your arm. But the Dyer character has been like a ghost. They can never catch him."

I nodded.

"Then how do you know where he is?" Emmett asked.

"I'm a ghost too."

After a few more minutes of watching Sam play typewriter on his Blackberry, he finally looked up at us.

"You gonna tell us what we should do?" I asked annoyed.

"Yes, Jasper I am. You two are gonna be bait."

"Aw fuck that!" Emmett yelled.

I turned to him. "Do you wanna marry Rose?"

"I...uh....someday."

"Then shut the fuck up." I wasn't repeating my speech from the street. Hopefully he actually remembered what I said about Rose and Bella.

"Good man, Jasper. Besides I am a hell of a shot. But we gotta keep the girls out of sight. Dyer is known for rape."

"No shit." I muttered.

Sam looked at me with a pissed off expression. "You knew there was a chance for this piece of shit to follow you, Jasper." The implications in his statement were clear. In the end it was my fault. He was right. I put Bella and my friends in this danger from my own stupidity. I needed to fix it.

"Anything you want me to do. I will do it." I told him.

"Alright, good man."

Charlie came to town the next day. He wanted someone on the inside and one on the outside. Why he couldn't be in the house instead of this guy, Sam, was buggin' me, but Bella said it would be too difficult for her father to be in the house while she was sleeping with me.

Charlie was cool, but she would always be his little girl.

Over the next few days, we became recluses. I could still go to work because it was a secured complex, no stopping. Which was bullshit because my cars ate gas like candy. But the other ones were stuck at the house. Bella had tried to keep Victoria out of everything for fear that her best friend would get hurt, but that was unnecessary as Peter had convinced her to go to Texas for the rest of the summer.

Bella was putting her newly discovered artistic talents to work and started painting a mural in our bedroom on one of the walls. She was bored. Rosalie would spend a lot of time in there and help with basics while they would talk about everything under the sun.

When I was home Emmett and I avoided any serious subject and kept our conversations on sports.

We didn't know when Laurent would make his move. Sam had made himself at home in the kitchen as it gave him a vantage point for both the back and the front of the house.

But with five adults in this tiny house we were running out of food and frankly sanity. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a small kitchen, and living room. We were on top of each other and it was pissing us off. Never mind, it was pissing me off.

Sam completely ignored us unless he needed an answer, Bella and Rose were happy gossipy girls, and Emmett just stared at the ESPN. Shit they were _all_ on vacation. I was the one ready to rip my hair out by the roots and I was only there part time!

On Sunday afternoon I was sitting on the couch looking at the ceiling while Butch sat on my lap chewing on my finger tips.

"Jazzy?" Bella asked.

"Yeah?" I didn't take my eyes off the ceiling.

"Are you okay, Baby?"

"No."

She took a deep breath. I knew that I was acting like a pussy but I was out of my mind bored.

"You wanna go to the market with me?"

I whipped my head down and looked at her. "How the hell are we supposed to be going to the damn grocery store?" I snapped.

"We're all going together. Sam is staying here."

"I thought he was the body guard." I said with annoyance lacing my words.

"No, he's the guy that shoots the bad guys if they come into the house."

I lightened up when I finally looked at her.

Bella was so pretty. How the hell can I be pissy at her? I started scolding myself.

She looked so cute in her brown tank top with her white bra strap barely showing, white shorts and brown sandals. Her long chestnut hair was pulled back into a gold colored butterfly barrette, the fullness behind her making it look like she had a halo.

"So how do we do that?" I asked with a little more "loving boyfriend" in my voice.

Sam came into the room to give us the rules and run down.

"Bella stays with Emmett, Rose stays with Jasper. Two cars. Two stores. And two guns." He handed both Emmett and me a Smith and Wesson revolver.

A prison term because of concealed weapon didn't make me happy, but I was happy to finally have some iron protection. Sam had insisted on taking possession of Bella's gun when he moved in unceremoniously.

"Oh!" Bella said.

"Yeah, Bella. This is for your protection. Dyer will stay a safe distance from any action and the other two are too dumb to travel separately." He turned from Bella to me, "Can you shoot?"

"Yeah. I'm a good shot."

He nodded and then looked to Emmett with the same question. He had the same answer. And since Emmett was going to be with Bella, I was glad I knew he could shoot a gun. Otherwise this wasn't going to happen.

We were supposed be look like we were letting our guard down. Charlie and another unknown "mercenary type acquaintance" of his was following all of us.

So we left for two completely different locations. A quick kiss and an "I'll see ya soon", Bella and with the idiot in her truck and Rose with me in Cindybelle, we left for the stores.

The plan was for me and Rose to get groceries. While Emmett and Bella went for grilling supplies and booze. Thank God!

Rose and I headed to produce. Sam was a vegetarian and had a list all his own. This fuckin guy better start producing some action.

"Alright, so we gotta get some fruit, Bella wants to make sangria tonight while you grill." Rose said looking at her list. I held the cart like a good guy.

We wandered the produce aisle until we had taken care of that part of the list. As we headed toward the meat department Rose finally gave me the stink eye I had been waiting for.

"Why are you being such a baby about this whole thing?"

"I'm not bein' a baby."

"Oh you are, and you only have to be in the house at night and on the weekends."

I shrugged. I was starting to figure out my shit. But to say it out loud would make me sound like an idiot.

"Steaks?"

"Rib eyes' 12 ounces or more each," I instructed, this was my area. I was a great griller.

"Just say it Jasper. I think I know anyway."

I looked at her with my eyebrows raised. My sister knew her shit. And she knew me better than anyone.

"You wanna be the hero." She said quietly.

"Yeah, I do. I got her into this, shit I got us all into it."

"Lord, are you ever gonna stop bein' such a dang martyr?"

I looked at my sister and shrugged. She was right of course.

"Jasper, Bella doesn't blame you for any of this. She's not stupid, she understands that shit happens. And just for the record if you don't stop acting like a douche bag towards her she's gonna go off."

"I know. I just need to get my shit together. I don't mean to be shitty to her."

Rose looked at me and smiled. "Just get your shit together. Hey, you realize we are completely on our own? I mean I am sure Charlie is following Bella. Kind of nice, huh?"

I shook my head, "There is another one of Charlie's friends following us."

"Oh."

I felt the now warm metal against my lower back that was being held in place by my belt to my skin. It felt good having something so powerful in my possession. The iron of the barrel had soaked up my body heat and felt good.

I did want to protect Bella. I wanted to redeem the shit I had caused. Rose didn't understand. One of the reasons I didn't have girlfriends was because of the threat of this kind of thing. Now I push it on the love of my life. The sweetest girl, the girl that I had wanted since I was kid?

No I didn't want to be the hero, I needed to be.

**AN- Filler chapter but I think the story needed it. Jasper is such a guy, but I love him!! LOL**

**Now if you don't mind I would sure love your opinion. Thanks!!**


	27. Chapter 28

Disclaimer- If I owned it I would'a put a ring on it....I'm a dork. What can I say?

Songs for this chapter- **Bad Girlfriend **by** Theory of a Dead Man **and **Psycho Therapy **by** The Ramones**

WARNING- This chapter is not fluffy all the way through....there is violence, and a menacing asshole is featured. Also, there is a long ass AN at the end. ;)

Mynxi is beta bitch awesome! ;)

Wanted Chapter 28  BPOV

Jasper was too cute when he grilled.

He wore his apron that looked like a womans body with huge breasts, hard nipples covered in a tiny bikini top, and an overgrown black bush coming out of the bikini bottoms.

I was actually shocked the first time he turned around in the kitchen wearing it. Now it was Rosalie's turn.

"Holy shit, Jasper! Your bush is a freakin' forest! And those tits, damn!"

Emmett and Sam both gaped when Jasper started down the steps to the backyard.

Jasper then started massaging his imaginary breasts while he walked. "What now?" He smirked and winked at me.

All of us were laughing hysterically. Jasper could have been the class clown if he hadn't been so cool.

We were supposed to be acting nonchalant, but we were all on edge still. Jasper knew how to lighten a mood.

Because my dad and his other friend, who I was pretty sure now was actually Harry Clearwater that was following Emmett and I, told us to pretend we were letting our guard down.

Being watched by criminals and the mercenary's was terrifying. But to survive, we would all do just that.

Talking to my father was like talking to the crypt keeper, with riddles and whatnot. I couldn't understand him half the time.

"_So, is it Harry with you?" I asked my father while he rested at the Holiday Inn that held fun memories for me and Jasper. I may have mentioned to my father to avoid the pool._

"_What if it was, but if it were, it would have to be someone who understands the ins and outs of law enforcement in another state." My father said without a whole lot of emotion._

"_Huh?"_

_So that was a fun and informative conversation. Oh man, my father was frustrating me!_

_Let's play the good daughter, see how that goes._

"_You can stay with us." I changed the subject._

"_Yeah, Bella. I have no desire to be under the same roof as you and your boyfriend while you two share a bed."_

_Okie-dokie. I give up._

"_Oh, okay. Love ya, Dad."_

"_Love you too sweetie. Now pretend you don't know I'm in the state."_

"_K."_

"Babe?" Jasper called to me dragging me away from the memory of my weird father.

I looked up and he blew me a kiss while he grilled.

"Jazzy, make enough for my dad and his _special_ friend." I said looking at Sam with a quirked eyebrow.

"Bella, I am not telling you who the other person is with your dad." Sam told me.

"I already know who the other guy is, Sam. My dad told me." I lied.

I can't lie well. Never could. I cheated on a Spanish test my freshman year in high school on a quiz, and when Mrs. Imig found the cheat sheet and demanded to know whose it was, I blushed and looked down. She knew it was mine, I couldn't deny it anyway. So my GPA went to crap because of a quiz. I never cheated again and lying? Well I still failed miserably obviously.

It's like I have a disease or something, _Cannottellalieitis_?

"Sure he did. Then I guess you don't need any information from me."

I enjoyed Sam. Jasper not as much. He thought Sam was trying to get into my pants. I was pretty sure that the person Sam was really interested in was Rosalie. She had noticed as well.

Sam was funny, laid back, and he loved Mr. Mustachio. Which was another reason for Jasper to hate him.

Emmett still acted all drama like he had when he first arrived in Colorado regarding Mr. Mustachio, but I had also seen him playing with my precious kitty when he didn't think anyone was watching. I knew he was full of crap, his family had a stinky dog back in high school. They probably still had that nasty smelling animal.

I was actually enjoying having all these people staying with us.

They were loud, annoying, and a ton of fun.

My world was always too quiet before Jasper came into it. Even when I lived with Victoria, although she was loud but rarely home, so I was usually alone. The only other time I wasn't alone was unless I was with a guy, but I usually got rid of them pretty quickly too.

Rose and I were having a blast. She was beside herself with all the things she could do in Colorado. You know after we weren't in mortal danger anymore.

Our first stop was going to be Four Corners and then the next weekend she wanted to see Mesa Verde. I explained to her the Four Corners was actually an incorrect location, but she didn't care, and since Mesa Verde was probably going to be closed soon she was even more excited.

These were all things I had been dying to do too. The problem was Jasper and Emmett looked at us like we had grown an extra arm out of our necks, so the plan changed to the girls going alone. The boys could stay in Boulder and suck it for all we cared.

Jasper was being a giant grouch and refusing to have sex with me, because I was apparently a "screamer". He never complained before. He also said that sometimes I sounded like a wild banshee when I came.

_Unbelievable jerk!_

That got him a hard tiny fist in the gut as I walked by and told him I had my butterfly so I would be fine on my own. He changed his tune quickly after that. Suddenly the banshee screamer wasn't so bad.

He is still a big giant asshole, but it seems to be directed back at Emmett and not at me since we got back from the store this afternoon.

We ate our delicious steaks and grilled vegetables, while drinking the only thing I could make, sangria, and we waited.

The last two weeks had been nothing but waiting. Jasper had all but lost his mind and I painted a mural in our bedroom. I was now starting on the spare bedroom, also known now as Rose and Emmett's room.

Well mostly it was Rose's room, Emmett was kicked out frequently and he and Sam ended up fighting for the couch nightly. I created a schedule for them and placed it on the fridge so they would shut up about it.

Tonight, however, I planned on getting Jasper hammered so I could take advantage of him, but he kept avoiding the sangria in favor of sweet tea.

Sweet lord! This cock blocking bullshit was wearing me thin!

"Are you gonna at least try the wine?" I asked Jasper quietly.

He smiled at me. You know that smile that makes me weak. The boy is seriously trying to kill me slowly.....with his song. What? Where did that come from?

"No, Baby, I am not. I know why you want me wasted...." Jasper leaned over whispering in my ear, and then he placed a light kiss on my pulse point.

_I think I just came a little._

"You're the one that came out here in your apron getting me all hot and bothered." I said with a little too much force.

Jasper's laughter rung out loudly and got the attention of the rest of the table and apparently now our life guests.

After dinner and cleanup we all moved to the front porch with citronella candles and more wine, except of course for Mr. Jasper 'Abstinence' Whitlock and Sam-the Really Tall Man. So basically it was just me, Emmett, and Rosalie getting hammered.

We started relaying stories about high school. Emmett and Jasper argued about things they did with Edward and laughed over the outcomes of games that happened years ago. Meanwhile, Rosalie started talking to me about her high school nemesis Tanya Krause. I was starting to fall asleep on the porch swing sitting next to Jasper and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Aw, shit look Rosie!" Emmett said with a chuckle.

"What?"

My eyes were closed but I had a feeling they were all looking at me.

Jasper moved his arm so it was around my shoulder and pulled me closer to his side. It felt so good and safe to be with him.

"Remember the night of senior prom, Jazzman?" Emmett said.

"Aww this is what happened that night! When you kissed her for the first time?" Rosalie squealed.

I started to open my eyes when I heard Jasper actually growl.

Emmett's booming laughter came through and I looked at Jasper with confused eyes.

"What?" I asked him.

Jasper shook his head and then looked directly into my eyes. "I kissed you that night."

"No...I don't think so?" I didn't remember that.

A smirk came across his face and his eyes sparkled. His memory must have been a happy one.

"Yeah, Baby, I did. You were asleep and I kissed you."

"Huh?" _ That is so creepy.....and sweet!_

"I shouldn't have. You were unconscious, but you looked so pretty and I just........"

"He's a fuckin' pervert!" Emmett cut Jasper off in the middle of his sweet confession. Jasper is rarely sweet and I really wanted to hear this.

"Shut up, Emmett!" I turned back to Jasper with expectation, but apparently the moment was over.

Crap!

Jasper grabbed my hand and started pulling me off the swing and into the house.

Yay! Maybe he would have sex with me.

"We're going to bed. You guys have a good time. I am putting her to bed. Sam I'll be back and we can talk."

Well that's interesting. What the hell do Jasper and Sam have to talk about?

"What the hell are you and Sam gonna talk about?"

"This living arrangement bullshit is driving me nuts. I'm cool with my sister here but he and Emmett are movin' out." He sounded pissed.

"How though?" I asked while I unceremoniously threw myself on our bed causing Mr. Mustachio to let out a whine and hop off the bed with a thud. That cat was getting fat from all the people in the house caring him around.

I closed my eyes as the walls were spinning and making me a little sick. I listened to Jasper walk into the bathroom, pee, and then turn on the water in the sink. I could feel the cool breeze coming from our open bedroom window.

Jasper had decided to open it tonight, he said it was too stuffy with all the people in the house and he wanted it just to smell like us in our bedroom.

Did I ask a question a second ago?

Then I felt the bed give a little under me, then Jasper's strong hands pushing my hair off my face.

I leaned my face into the palm of his hand. To feel his touch meant more to me than anything I had ever imagined. With Jasper I felt safe and loved, like I had when I was little and nothing could hurt me.

"You kissed me?" I was drunk but I remembered that much.

"I kiss you every day, every afternoon, every evening, and every night as much as I can, my Sweet Girl."

I opened my eyes and focused on his beautiful face. He smiled his beautiful smile, and I could see the crinkles around his eyes form. His long fingers started gently caressing the skin of my face and neck.

With every movement I felt myself get more turned on and wetter.

He made my skin burn like I had lava running through my veins but it didn't hurt, it felt so real, it was like I wasn't truly alive until Jasper started to touch me.

"You're doing this....and not finishing what you start....." I moaned but I couldn't continue my thought.

"Baby, I can't finish what I start. Too many people in the house and you're too drunk."

I listened to Jasper take in a deep breath.

His fingers continued their delicious journey on my skin and happily they were making their way down to the swell of my breasts.

He was making shapes and designs that made no sense and I was in Heaven.

I moaned again.

"Fuck, I am getting so damn hard." Jasper whispered.

Oh, that's my cue, I let my hands wander, well wander is an over statement I went directly to his crotch. I started moving them over his jeans, to his erection.

Jasper moved his hips closer to my hand allowing this sweet torture to continue.

I was able to get the buttons on his Levi's undone. I could feel his boxer briefs as I started working for the prize.

He was always so ready for sex, whether or not I was wasted it wasn't like Jasper could be compared to a gentleman. No sir, my man, he is bad to the bone and I so loved that bone.

Jasper hissed as I worked my hand inside the material and grabbed onto his dick moving my palm over the head using his secretion as the lubricant.

"Jesus, Bella. You're fuckin' killin' me." Jasper whispered as he leaned in to kiss me.

The kiss was amazing. He pulled my shirt over my head throwing it across the room.

"I don't want to kill you, Baby. I just wanna fuck you." I teased. He pushed my bra cups down and exposed as much of my tits as he could while he latched himself there like he was dying of thirst.

Finally, my man was moving on top of me, Jasper's body weight and his legs pushing my own apart. We were grinding into one another with a frenzy.

It was glorious.

Jasper moved his face down to my neck and started sucking on my skin.

Shit! He's gonna give me a hickey.

"Ah, Baby, what the hell?"

He chuckled against my neck and sucked harder. His hips moving pushing and gyrating into my over heated and neglected core.

"Baby, I'm gonna' come in my pants." Jasper whispered to me as his hands moved down to my shorts, he pulled the flaps apart and popped that dang button.

I started to laugh at him as he pushed himself up to get his own clothes off.

Watching Jasper take off his t-shirt has always been an experience for me in self preservation. How could I not attack him?

From the first time I saw him take it off at the cabin the day after I lost my virginity to Edward to tonight I melted.

Sweet God, Jasper was dazzling! His little bit of curly golden chest hair, eight pack abs, and the V that leads to the most perfect cock I have ever seen.

Jasper Hale or Jared Whitlock had a long thick perfect dick that I wanted inside of me now.

Jasper's fingers hooked inside my panties as he started to drag them down my thighs....

_Boom boom boom_. Our bedroom door his being broken down. By who?

"What the fuck?" Jasper yelled while still hovering over my partially clad over heated body.

"Jasper, Bella's dad is here!" Emmett said quietly through the door.

"No!" I yelled.

"Why is he here now? I finally got you being quiet....."

"Jasper!" Emmett yelled again.

"We fuckin' heard you!"

"We're all sticky with no awesome ending...now we're both gonna be grouchy." I whined.

Jasper pulled my bra cups in place and then got off the bed. I pulled up my pants and discovered my shorts button was gone but at least the zipper still worked. I was handed my shirt by my now _father __hating boyfriend_ as he started putting himself back together.

I watched with sad eyes as he pushed his still raging erection in to his jeans. Poor guy looked like he was going to die from the pain.

"Fuck this is gonna kill me." He said to his crotch.

I walked over and gave him a kiss. "I'm so sorry, Baby. But my father honestly believes that if I ever got pregnant, it would be an immaculate conception. So let's go out there and face the daddy."

He nodded and then took a deep breath, "This better be to tell us this shit is over. Then I am gonna' fuck you on every surface of our house without anybody here...."

"Except Mr. Mustachio."

"Fuck that! The cat is out of the house too. I don't want anybody here when I fuckin' claim you again..."

"Aw you sweet talker, Jasper. You wanna claim me? Are you gonna put stakes around my border?"

He laughed, "Sweet Girl, I got your stake right here." He grabbed my hand and placed it back on his still hard cock now barely hidden by his jeans.

I giggled like the dork I am and we headed toward the door to see my father and his horrendously bad timing.

I walked a few steps behind Jasper mainly because I needed to wave at my face to try and get rid of the hot red blush I knew I was still sporting before I saw my dad.

When I made it around the corner there stood my father with Jasper, Sam, and Emmett, and a man I had never laid eyes on before. It wasn't Harry Clearwater, which surprised me.

"Ah, Bella. Sweetie, this is Garrett Brown." My father introduced the new mercenary to me.

Garret was a huge man as tall as Sam and as big as Emmett. It was freaky. He stuck his hand out for me with a warm smile. I heard my father mention something about them all being in the service together. But these men, Sam and Garrett both looked a lot younger than my father.

Sam was on his phone and standing next to Rosalie. Emmett was sitting on the couch holding Mr. Mustachio. Jasper stood next to my father with a small smile on his face.

"Hi, Bella. It's good to finally put a face with all the stories your dad has been telling me."

"Oh great that's how you passed the time?" I looked at my father, "Telling toddler jokes."

"Good news, all three have been arrested. It was convenient that they all needed some kind of drugs at the same time." My father told his two friends.

"They are gonna be arraigned tomorrow. But the deputy I spoke to earlier was going to house Dyer in another jail. The sheriff wants him in Jeff Co." Sam was relaying information as he listened on his blackberry.

As Sam turned off his phone he continued talking, "They want you guys to make the reports since this was off the books and to make it stick they need something to take to court. I'll stay here but I think Jasper and Emmett should go too so that fuck nut Dyer can see them."

The men all agreed and they started to walk around the little house.

It was all moving so fast I was a little nervous about these changes and I started breathing erratically.

Jasper noticed and walked over to me.

"Baby, it's okay. It's over. Laurent has been arrested. He's gonna get time here and probably get sent back to Texas for more. He's the big fish they've been trying to fry."

"Yeah but, this means all his other little jerks will come after you!"

"Baby, he shot me, even in the criminal world he's gotta pay for that shit." Jasper was too happy. He wasn't concerned at all.

He kissed my forehead and walked back over to my father.

I should have been happy too, but I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something more was happening. Something worse. And I didn't want Jasper to leave me.

The guys were already heading out the door when Rosalie came over and spoke quietly in my ear.

"You feel it too?"

"This is gonna be bad." I warned.

"Sam's here. We should be okay. Do you think they will be?"

I turned to look at her. "If anything happens here, you should know there is a gun on the top shelf of our closet. It's a .45 revolver and it's loaded. The safety is on though."

She nodded. "Should we tell them to stay?" She asked.

"I don't think so. I think they would get hurt...."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Jasper has already been through so much. But if you get hurt again Bella.....shit, that will kill him."

"That's why I told you about the gun."

Rosalie took a deep breath.

"I can't believe my father doesn't see how it seems just too easy."

"I know. It's almost like a set up."

When Rose said that we both looked over to the kitchen at Sam.

He was sitting at the table like he always did working on his blackberry not paying any attention to us.

It couldn't be him. Could it?

"Wouldn't he be watching us closer?"

"Who else could it be?" I asked in desperation.

With that question still hanging in the air there was a loud pop and breaking glass from the front window by where Sam was sitting at my tiny dining room table.

Sam's body fell to my kitchen floor with a loud thud and a quiet gasp. Rosalie and I stood in terror as we then the front door was suddenly kicked open.

Both of us backed away quickly, effectively trapping us further in my tiny house.

We were both too far away from the kitchen entry to get to the back door.

A man I had only seen once and from what I understood, Rosalie had never seen, was Laurent Dyer came stalking into my living room with a terrifying smirk gracing his calm yet evil face.

"Oh this is too damn good to be true." He laughed out loud as he slammed my front door behind him. "Should I have dark or light meat? I can't make this kind of decision now, so I guess I will just have you both."

Finally my flight and fight reflex kicked in and I started to back up. Rosalie had started crying and begging. I just wanted to get to my bedroom closet before it was too late. I grabbed Rose's elbow trying to coax her to come with me.

"That's right pretty Isabella, go right to the bedroom and maybe you'll even enjoy it, Bitch."

That got me to stop.

Jesus, if he thought I was going to make it easy on him he was sorely mistaken. I was near the hall bathroom, I was just slightly behind my love's only sister.

Rose had a bunch of aerosol cans that could be used like pepper spray. I was grasping at straws, but there was no way I was going down without a fight. Rose either. Whether she knew it or not.

We were gonna mess this freak of nature up.

Laurent hand one arm behind his back. Why he was hiding a weapon I didn't know. But he was.

"Where are you two sluts going? I want your asses in here. I want you both on display when your boys get here." He motioned for us to come back toward the living room. But he wasn't stopping his stalking.

He brought the arm around and showed us the hand gun he was holding.

It had to be a Ruger. My father always said criminals and law enforcement liked that type of handgun. They had a large chamber so reloading frequently wasn't necessary. I felt sick and he hadn't even pointed the weapon at us yet.

"Please God, don't hurt us....haven't you done enough?" Rosalie was pleading which actually made me happy. She could distract him so I could grab a can of hair spray. For the first time in my life I wished I smoked, to light this guy up would be great!

"I haven't done anything to _you_ yet, Beautiful. That's coming up...." He took another step closer but he was looking at her. "Get your fuckin' whore asses up here now!"

I grabbed the can and pushed Rosalie with it to move her closer to him.

"No...wait." She pleaded with me as much as him.

I leaned up to her ear, "When I spray him you get out the front...."

"Shut the fuck up your worthless little whore!"

The man seethed of hate for Rosalie and me. Laurent was an evil abuser of women, I was now seeing all the things Jasper had told me about this man.

I was becoming terrified but I wanted to hang onto my common sense. If I did that maybe, just maybe we could get out this unscathed, or if nothing else alive. Death scared me, rape didn't. This fucker could take my body but he couldn't have my soul. I would survive and that was all I could do. So would Rosalie. I would make sure of that.

We moved together around Laurent. Rose was looking directly at him with me walking against her left side. We were both watching him intently.

I figured the second he got close enough I would spray him and push Rosalie to the door.

She could call the police and I would be alright.

Why did we have to all have to charge our cell phones at the same time?

Just as I was thinking that my land line rang in the kitchen.

Laurent smiled at us, his eyes glittering with some kind of knowledge.

"Looks like Jasper figured it out. I knew he would...." Laurent picked up the receiver and smiled again. "Oh hey, Jasper. You know what man, your girl and your sister have got to be two of the hottest pieces of ass I have ever seen.....don't what?" Laughter rang out through the room. "Oh now, Jasper, you can't deny a dying man his last wish and my wish is to beat and fuck these two so hard you won't recognize them and they never heal right."

I shivered.

Laurent continued to talk as if he were ordering take out.

"Well I am about to fuck a cop's little girl so I expect to not make it much past tonight. But you know what mother fucker, that doesn't mean I can't have some fun before I go out."

"Bella....when are you going to do it?"

"Come on over.....but tell....listen to me. You and the other three fucks need to stay outside or I will kill these two bitches, not just fuck them......call em' you fuckin' pussy!"

Laurent raised his gun and pointed it directly at Rose and I.

"I got the barrel right at your bitch, Jasper. One little centimeter, I got your sister. Which one do you want back?"

More laughter.

"Bella?" Rose whispered.

"He has to get closer...."

"You can't offer yourself up as a sacrificial lamb!"

"Shut the fuck up you two!" Laurent kept the gun level towards us. "Tell daddy, that's the one I'm gonna have first. Yeah, to fuck with you, you disloyal piece of shit and a fuckin' cop, hell yeah, the brunette is gonna get it first."

With that he hung up the phone with such force he broke it off the wall.

Squealing tires were outside and a siren farther in the distance.

"This is it Rose....wait." I whispered as Laurent made his way closer to us. Rose and I stayed close together and when Laurent went to grab my arm to pull me to him he pushed Rose with his other arm and she landed on the love seat by the door. I brought the aerosol can up and sprayed Laurent in the face. He let go of me to grab his face.

Laurent's screams were deafening. He kicked towards me knocking the can of hairspray out of my hand.

Rose went for the front door as I tried to get around him and follow he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest. "You fuckin' little whore....I am gonna snap your neck!"

I was sure Rose made it out of the house, but I wasn't going anywhere right now.

There was a loud thud that came from Jasper's and my bedroom and then I heard a slamming of our closet door. Laurent was focusing on his eyes and didn't seem to hear it.

In another second I heard a loud succession of bangs and suddenly I was being crushed under the weight of the man who seconds ago was threatening to rape and murder me as he twitched with the last of his life.

Laurent was on my back and I couldn't see anything while he was on top of me.

"Fuck, Bella!"

Jasper's beautiful curse sounded like a danm hymn when I heard it.

Laurent's body was thrown off of me and I was up in Jasper's arms in a nanosecond.

"Baby, baby? Are you alright? Did that fucker touch you?" Jasper's voice cracked with his words and he buried his face in my hair.

"I'm okay. He wasn't able to do anything to Rosie or me....." Jasper seemed to lose himself and we sank to the ground with me securely in his arms and on his lap.

I looked up and saw my father leaning against the door frame with his gun still in his hand.

But I felt something hot against my ass where Jasper was holding me to him. Didn't he shoot Laurent?

"Jasper put that gun down now, Son." My father said to him.

Jasper dropped the gun behind me with a thud.

It was over now. It was really over!

With that realization I started to sob and then I was against Jasper's chest being comforted.

**AN- Well crap! That was a pain in the ass! I was getting disturbed every twenty seconds writing this dang scene, so I really hope I did it justice. Next chapter is Jasper telling you all about how he figured it all out and got the car load of dumbass men back to the house to save Bella and Rosie. Although, I thought the chicks did very well.**

**BTW- the apron I had Jasper wearing at the beginning of the chapter was something my ex husband had gotten for a congratulations present when he got a promotion a few years back...it cracked me up....I should have stolen it after we divorced! lol **

**Also, I am so sorry to those of you who I haven't gotten back to yet for the last chapter, I will! I moved, which sucks ass alone, but I also couldn't find an Internet carrier for where I moved, you know since it was directly in the middle of town * cue an angry growl * . So that is why everything in my life is on delay.**

**Ok....how's about that review???**


	28. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer- I don't own the Twilight Saga.**

**Beta =MYNXI!!! I luff ewe baybee!**

Songs for this chapter are Gunpowder and Lead by Miranda Lambert, Outshined by Soundgarden, and Boston by Augustana

Chapter 29 JPOV

What the hell just happened?

We, four fuckin' guys, just walked out of the house and left Bella and Rose by themselves.

What the fuck were we thinking?

And who the fuck is this guy? I am looking at a damn mug shot of someone I recognize but I know isn't Laurent Dyer.

This is the fuckin' guy who insulted Bella at the bar that night. The guy who made her cry, after I had made her cry. This is a little rat. This is a nobody, this is my problem.

"Go back."

Charlie looked at me from his seat behind the wheel of his rented Buick sedan.

There are no other words, we've made a mistake and he needs to just know that we need to go back.

My heart is pounding. Jesus, it is pounding so hard I can hear it inside my brain.

I'm sweating.

The pounding is coming from somewhere else too, but it sounds far away.

I look at the clock we left six minutes ago. That should be nothing in the real world. But in this fucked up world that I have personally exposed Bella and my sister to, it's a god damned torturous life time.

The pounding is coming from Emmett in the backseat. He's punching his seat.

_Like that's gonna help._

I am a dick. What the hell is wrong with me? I am in a car full of people that don't matter! My entire life is in that house six minutes away because I am a dick.

It feels like we're moving backwards or at all.

I called Bella's cell.

Her sweet voice fills my head with a giggle. She says she's too busy to come to the phone and I remember the morning she changed her message.

We were in her bed the night after I found her in the club, the night I made her take me back, the night I told her I loved her and that I had always loved her. It was the same night I met the guy who is pretending to be Laurent Dyer.

We had made love that night. All night. I had thought I was in Heaven, finally with this girl. The one and only girl I had ever really wanted. She was mine, I was hers and both of us didn't want to be anywhere else, ever.

I thought I was such a man that morning, I grabbed her little white T-Mobile Sidekick and looked at it while she slept against my chest. I smiled thinking about the message she had put on there after I had fucked everything up.

Her message had been simple and to the point. "Jasper Hale and Edward Cullen are assholes. If you are not them please feel free to leave a message. If you are either one of them please find it in your tiny little hearts to go fuck yourselves. Also, if you are Jasper please for the love of God, do it twice."

I still left her messages. Although, when I listened to the message I tried to tune all words out except "please", "fuck", "Jasper", and "twice". After a few dozen times it worked.

I was running my fingers up and down my beautiful girl's bare back, feeling every inch of her skin that was against my own. Her strong legs tangled with mine, the feel of her naked pussy and tiny bit of a landing strip flush against my hip bone. Bella's stomach and tits pressed to my side like we couldn't get close enough. Her tiny hands holding onto my skin like she was holding onto a dream. Her cheek resting at my chest with her wild chestnut hair splaying everywhere except where I had pushed it aside so I could tickle her back.

I felt her. I felt us. There was nothing like this feeling. I felt whole for the first time in my life that morning. It was because of Bella. It had always been because of Bella. If I hadn't already been so obsessed with her and the memory of her, I would have fallen in love with her then. In that very moment. A pure love, the kind that never dies. Hell, I did.

When she woke up I demanded she change her message because the other one was about how she never wanted to hear from me or Edward and we were idiots. She laughed at me, and said she would rather do something else.

I denied her the sex we both wanted so badly because I was an asshole and she was an angel. She had to record it a few times because I kept making her laugh. Finally, when it met with my approval and her own because she was worried her dad would hear it, we made love again.

It was what we both had been waiting for.

Bella and I finally made it to one another after years of bullshit and fear. We could have been together so long ago and had filled those years with just memories of me and her. I was still full of regret, but Bella was so full of hope. She had said if we hadn't loved Edward and Alice and known them, then how could we have ever truly known what we were getting when we finally made it into each others' arms?

Bella was right, she was always right. I needed to tell her that more often.

But right now, I was six minutes away from her and she was with my sister unprotected. I knew my past along with a mad man was trying to steal everything away from me.

This whole nightmare was because of me.

I had blamed Emmett but it wasn't him. He was barely an afterthought to Laurent Dyer.

Laurent could have sent a couple of his boys to Seattle after he found out that Emmett had left Notre Dame.

But instead Laurent Dyer came looking for me.

He searched me out. In completely unconnected places he went looking for me. He never knew about Bella. Even my roommates only knew about a girl, but I never told anyone specifically about her. I had been smart at one time.

I knew I didn't owe him any money. I had been trying to get out of the Syndicate for years and finally thought I had. I walked away clean and clear. At least I thought I had.

I moved to Colorado and in with my innocent girlfriend without a second thought about any of it affecting her, or even my absence affecting the Syndicate.

Why would it? Because Dyer owned my ass.

Emmett was nothing in this. I had fucked up his life too.

He loved my sister. And for whatever fucked up reason, she loved him. They could never let one another go, not completely. Maybe they would have finally found their way back to one another, but I gave them a road block. And now my sister was in this neck deep and there was no cutting off the tap.

I fucked up everyone's lives.

I vaguely heard that guy Garrett calling the police and describing a hostage situation with my address attached to it. He was talking about my girl and my sister, as hostages.

I had to get to Bella and Rose. Laurent could have me. Torture my ass. Just let them go.

I called the land line at the house and listened to my greatest fear come to life.

Dyer in my house, talking about hurting Bella and my sister.

He was insane. He always was.

Laurent's laughter as he mocked me made me want to hurl myself off a cliff like a pussy, but when he talked about how he was going to hurt Bella and Rose, I was able to stop my pussy act and see red.

"Don't you fuckin' hurt them!" I seethed into the phone.

He laughed and asked me about denying a dying man his last wish. He wanted to give it to Charlie too. To hurt Bella. He was not only destroying me but in his weird twisted mind hurting a cop's daughter was somehow justified.

We were close to the house.

Laurent told me how he was pointing the gun at my girl and then at my sister. He never mentioned finding a weapon in the house. That meant that Bella's gun was still in our bedroom closet.

I knew when we gave our weapons back to Sam this afternoon, after our grocery shopping bullshit excursion, was a mistake.

Sam. Where the fuck was that guy? Was he in on it? No. Laurent never brought Sam up. Sam was either dead or injured either way he was out of the picture.

The gun.

I hopped out of the car before we reached the corner and raced towards the house through the back. I could hear someone behind me. I figured it was Emmett, he really did love my sister. He would have jumped in front of a bullet for her. He always had been willing to do that for her.

I popped the screen to mine and Bella's window as quietly as I could and jumped through. Charlie had told me to make it as quick as possible from the back. Laurent and the girls had to be in the front of the house where the phone was. Charlie would get him if he tried to come out the front.

He also wanted to stop the cops that had just been called in case they had guns blazing, he couldn't risk his only daughter being caught in the cross fire. He loved her so much.

The hammering in my head was giving me a beat to follow as I made it to our closet.

I was moving fast. As fast as I could to get to them.

I heard Laurent's scream. He sounded like a pussy, and then he said something about "whores", I needed to get to Bella and Rose quicker, he was pissed and getting more pissed, and he was going to hurt them.

I was blinded with rage as I held the gun up and the escaping bullet hit Laurent.

I had been so focused on Laurent I didn't see how close he had been to Bella.

She was under his lifeless body now and I didn't know if she was alive or dead.

The front door was open and I realized I had seen Rose go for the front door.

I pulled that piece of shit off of Bella and saw her crumpled little body my heart sunk.

It was only seconds. But those seconds felt like hours, days even. Did he get a chance to hurt her?

Was I not fast enough?

I said my usual eloquent expletive and pulled Bella up into my arms and she winced.

There was blood. He had hurt her!

"Baby, baby? Are you alright? Did that fucker touch you?" I didn't even realize I still had a voice until I heard it asking Bella if she was alright.

She answered, her sweet voice sounding like sunshine through an eclipse.

"I'm okay. He wasn't able to do anything to Rosie or me....."

Charlie was saying something about the gun, so I dropped it. I had Bella on my lap and knew I would never forgive myself for what she and Rose had gone through, because of me.

_Why is there a can of hair spray on the floor?_

I had my entire life sitting in my lap. I hadn't realized that her hair was damp where my face was buried.

I was crying.

My sister and Bella were okay. They were alive and almost completely unhurt. Laurent Dyer was dead.

All the blood had been from Dyer.

Bella was injured but not seriously. She had a bruised rib and her left wrist was broken in two places because of how he landed on her.

While we waited for Bella's x-rays, Rosalie informed Charlie and I of Bella's fearlessness.

She never once lost her cool and was thinking rationally throughout the entire ordeal. My heart soared thinking about Bella being so strong. But I came back down when I saw her beautiful form being taped up on her torso, and when I saw her tiny wrist covered in a cast, I knew I was at fault.

Bella being Bella even blamed herself for the injuries.

"Don't do this Jasper. Don't blame yourself. You and her belong together." My sister whispered in my ear as I watched Bella get the last of the dressing placed along her rib cage.

Rose knew what I was thinking. I needed to leave. I had caused all of this pain. I had caused Bella to be hurt and scared. But I was also a selfish piece of shit who could never walk away from Bella Swan again. I needed her like I needed air. She was everything to me, she had always been everything to me.

I held Bella's hand while she talked to the police.

She used her pointer finger to lightly rub along my palm. Calming me. I should have been calming her but she already was calm. She already had made it back from the fear and anger of the night and wanted to be there for me.

I held her hand while I talked to the police and she continued to calm me.

Sam was dead. He was also a co-conspirator. The entire time he had been in our house. He was relaying information back to Dyer and the Syndicate.

Charlie was devastated by this news. Apparently Sam had been like a son to him while he trained him during the weekend warrior army games they played together.

Sam was Laurent's older brother. No one knew. And until this the two of them hadn't even spoken because of Laurent's criminal activity in Texas. But apparently blood is thicker than water and Sam allowed that to rule instead of his commitment to the law or to Charlie Swan.

We didn't know why Laurent killed Sam.

Over the next month we found out more information from Syndicate members like Demitri who sold everyone's secrets to get himself out of doing hard time in both Colorado and Washington.

Aron Volturi was used as a patsy because of his obsession with Bella.

When Laurent came to town he watched Aron following us and used his hatred of me and what he felt was betrayal by Bella and agreed to help Laurent.

All this news came in spurts like a leaky faucet. With each new bit of information Bella started to retreat into herself.

Bella was healing physically. But she was having nightmares about the ordeal and she has to start taking sleeping pills.

She hated them but she hated the nightmares more. Gone was her beautiful voice in the night giving me a detailed account of what she was dreaming and telling me she loved me without her realizing it.

But during the day she was growing distant but she was still sweet with me.

I knew she blamed me. How could she not? It was my fault. I brought this nightmare into her life, into our home and let it wreak havoc.

Bella was becoming like a zombie.

I would have talked to Rose about it, but she was having the same problems as Bella apparently, back in Washington.

My answers of what to do came from the most unlikely source.

Edward.

"I don't want to talk about this shit with you," I said like the big baby I had become.

"Jasper, both Bella and Rose have is PTSD. I've already gotten your mom to help get Rosie into therapy. But you and Charlie have to get Bella into some too. She can't live off of those sleeping pills. Bella has never been able to ask for help. You just have to do it."

This was my fault and I knew it, but Edward wasn't taking the easy way and giving me hell. No, he was trying to save Bella, too.

"Shit, this is your opportunity to get her back....." I started to say like a pussy.

"I won't hurt Bella, Jasper. She's been through so much with this. I know you think this is all your fault, and that's good because it is, but Bella loves you so pull your head out of your ass and help her!"

So I did.

I went into the spare bedroom and told Charlie what I was doing and with the blessing of our newest and only welcome roommate I found a doctor for Bella.

With Charlie on board making Bella go shouldn't have been difficult. But damn that girl even when she's slightly catatonic, she was still stubborn as hell.

"I am fine, Jasper," she emphasized my name and then turned to her father. "You have never believed in counseling."

"That is not true, Isabella," he countered.

"You never got counseling when mom...."

"I should have. It was not a good way to grieve....."

"I'm not grieving, dad."

I watched this interaction still amazed how Charlie and Bella communicated. They never seemed to miss a beat with one another.

"Yes you are Bella. It's like a death, what happened here....and Sam."

Bella flinched at the name being uttered.

"What if I just talked to Vic?"

"Hell Cat can't prescribe anything for you." I said.

Bella's sallow eyes looked from her father to me and then to the floor.

"Is that what you think, you guys think I need medication?"

Now I felt like a total asshole. Bella hated to take a Tylenol for her broken wrist when it acted up and the fact that she was taking sleeping pills, made her feel weak. She felt out of control. A feeling she hated.

"We don't know what you need, sweetie. Neither do you." Charlie grabbed Bella's right hand and she looked up at him. "Jasper and I are watching you waste away, Honey. This isn't the girl who defended herself and her friend from a dangerous assailant. This girl that is sitting in front of me is broken and I don't know why. I want my daughter back."

Bella looked over to me with such a heartbreaking look I was on my knees in front of her in a second.

"Talk to Victoria if it will help. She's comes home tomorrow, right?" Bella nodded. "Anything, Baby. I just need you."

Bella licked her lips that seemed to be perpetually dry lately and then she nodded.

"I'm really sorry. I don't mean to worry you guys."

I pushed some hair behind her ear and brought her left hand up to my mouth to kiss it.

"We know, Baby. We're just real worried."

About an hour after Bella's sleeping pill kicked in, I carried her to our bedroom and laid her above the blankets. She would always get hot under the covers but was too out of it to get cooled off in the middle of the night. So instead I would just have us under a top sheet all night.

"I think we need to get her back to Forks," Charlie said as I joined him on the front porch.

"She's gonna be so pissed about her classes." I shook my head. I had been thinking about us moving out of this house with all of its bad memories but Bella said she still loved her little cottage.

"I know, but damn, Jasper.....," he didn't really have anything to say.

"Let her talk to Victoria when she gets back from Texas tomorrow. It will be okay. Bella will be okay," I said it but I didn't believe it.

The next day was much like the day before. I went to work, Charlie stayed with Bella and sent me text messages about what she was doing. He let me know when Hell Cat came over and said that it was like a light went off with Bella when she saw her best friend. I didn't understand what it meant and neither did Charlie but with Victoria there Charlie felt comfortable enough to leave the house for the first time in three weeks which he wouldn't do unless I was there.

When I got home from work that night I was greeted by Victoria at the side of the garage waiting for me. She invited me over to her house where we could talk.

Bella was asleep, so I figured not seeing her for a few more minutes would be okay.

"So did you put your counseling to some use?" I asked with complete sincerity.

"I think so."

"Charlie said she was so happy to see you, it was like the last three weeks didn't happen or that night. Or something." I was nervous as hell. I was failing as a man and as a lover and I didn't know what to grab onto.

"It's because I wasn't there," Victoria said as we sat down on her couch. She had grabbed a couple bottles of water and handed me one.

I started to drink it without thinking and before I knew I had downed it.

"Thirsty?" She smiled at me.

"I've lost her haven't I?"

Victoria's eyes shot up and then she gave me a sympathetic smile. "No, Jasper. She loves you so much. She did something she is ashamed of and that along with the trauma, she feels like she let you down."

"What? She hadn't done anything....."

"She thought about it that night, Jasper. She feels like she betrayed you because of what she had mentally prepared herself for."

"She accepted the fact that she was going to get raped?"

"Yes."

"How the hell is she willing to tell you this so quickly?"

"Because I'm her best friend and she tells me everything. I mean everything. She's allowed herself to cognitively repress and she needs to get into real therapy. She won't take meds though. I know she won't do that."

"Should we move?"

"Probably. She needs to get out of the house before she lets herself get any deeper into her depression."

"We fucked up, huh?"

"God no, Jasper! The sleeping thing should have tipped off her general practitioner. But you guys couldn't stop where her brain was taking her. It's depression. She needs to get treatment. That is all there is to it. But she loves you Jasper. Don't forget that."

"I love her, too."

"Then be with her."

"I am. Every night."

"You don't touch her, though."

"Her dad....." Oh God, could I be any more stupid?

"Charlie can go back to Forks or get a hotel room. Bella needs to be with you. She needs to know you don't think she betrayed you. You are the only one that can prove that to her."

"This is entirely my fault....."

"No, it isn't Jasper. Shit, bad things happen to people every day all over the world. This was just a horrible crime, but it doesn't have to dictate the rest of your lives. You need to help her before she gets any deeper."

I was taken back to my memory of waiting with Bella in the hospital for Alice to die.

Alice had given up and let her life be destroyed by depression because of something she had no control over.

Bella was following that same path, in a way.

"She's convinced herself that you would be better off without her, that she let you down somehow. The brain plays tricks on itself when certain chemicals interact. She's not gone, but she's going."

Victoria's words rung true and loud. I needed to stop acting like such a pussy and take control. Bella was flopping around long enough.

"Jasper, I can see your eyes getting wild. Take it slow. She got to this state slowly. It's not going to happen overnight that she gets happy or better. You just need to do more than just passively watch. I am not going anywhere. But we need to be active and determined to get Bella better.

"I honestly never thought this would happen to Bella. But she's strong and she can get better. What happened with your sister?" Victoria sounded like a real doctor would.

"She's on Paxil. She still freaks out and refuses to be alone. She is living back with my mother in Forks, for the time being. She quit school."

"Okay, yeah the school thing is not something Bella really needs right now, but it also might help. Because just like when she saw me it takes her away from that night and what happened. But if she gets shitty grades that could back fire."

"Isabella will not get bad grades."

"That's true." Hell Cat let out a hearty laugh. "See, Jasper. That is why she loves you. You never give up, and you adore her. You know her so well."

I smiled. _ I hope so. _

I headed back to my place. I was on a mission. No more passive boyfriend. I was gonna fix my girl.

Starting tonight.

**AN- First of all, I am so sorry you guys!! Just for the record ex-husbands are heinous! The are "ex" for a reason! Second, my first draft of this chapter sucked ass and mynxi read it and her advice like "just end it" "choppy". I was like "whoa" that one really stunk, huh? She didn't return that text! haha So I wasn't gonna give you something like that. So I re-wrote it and it helps take the story where it needs to go. Wanted isn't over. NO WAY! Lol **

**I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Please let me know.**

**I DO have to pimpage to do tho....A Moment Changes Everything by heavyinfinity and I Caught Fire by glitteratiglue are so freakin fabulous you must drop what you are doing and go read them!!! J and B so AWESOME! **


	29. Chapter 30 BPOV and JPOV

Disclaimer- I love Jasper * sobs * But alas I do _not_ own him....he owns me with all his Texan charm and manly bullshit.

Songs for this chapter are- BPOV - **Stupid** by **Sarah Mclachlan** and **Happy** by **Leona Lewis** - JPOV - **Patience** by **Guns and Roses** and **More Than Words** by **Extreme**

Mynxi is mai overworked beta...love you honey bunny. Thank you for doing this on the fast track before you finished your homework. =D

Chapter is dedicated to my Sinday, she knows why. ;p

Wanted Chapter 30 BPOV

My brain was on over drive but the sensations in my body made me feel like I was walking in deep water against a current.

This is what it felt like to dream too.

I was sleepy but couldn't find the rest I desired.

Water. It felt like it was everywhere. I had never been afraid of water itself but the idea of drowning was an overwhelming presence anymore in my jacked up brain. Especially, when I slept.

I could breath. But I couldn't move to get out of the water. Whoever said downing was the best way to go could go stuff a rock in their shoe because it sucked.

I was exhausted before I even opened my eyes. I wanted to talk to Jasper or even my dad, I knew they were worried, but the day would get away from me and I would forget.

I started to get frustrated with myself, so I would cheek my medication just so I could have a few lucid moments. But then those lucid or what I deemed my "awake" moments came after Jasper and my dad had finally succumbed to their own exhaustion from caring for me. So Jasper and dad always missed them. At least they both seemed to find peace in their sleep.

I had become this beast of burden, and I hated it.

I knew Jasper still loved me, but it wasn't the same. How could it be? He worked and needed to enlist the assistance of my father to babysit me.

Touching me was out of the question in any way sexual. I understood. I mean, I wasn't really in the mood either, anymore. There was my dad in the house and then just the idea of that monster Laurent Dyer would make me cower within myself.

I wondered sometimes when I would look at Jasper if he even wanted me.

My rational brain said Jasper was an intelligent passionate man that had loved me for years from a far. However, my self esteem was hit with doubt and sadness whenever I wondered about him making any move towards me. The passion and heat was gone from his eyes when he looked at me.

Keeping clothes on was a near impossibility when Jasper and I were in the same room together after that first night in Forks. The infamous party.

I couldn't help but miss it. That fire in his expression, that unadulterated heat was gone when he looked at me now. All I saw was sadness. Concern and love for me but still sadness.

I didn't turn him on, I made him feel bad for me.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.

"Wow, can't really blame him." What I saw was an almost jaundice look with swollen red eyes. I was not a pretty sight. But just pulling a brush through my hair took an effort. An effort I wasn't always willing to put forth. Most of the time.

Showers became a chore as much as taking out the garbage. Another chore I hadn't done in awhile. I refused to leave the house even to go to the back yard. I couldn't really figure out why. I hated being inside, but somehow being outside seemed worse.

Did Jasper love me anymore?

Did I love him?

My instinct as a woman knew that I needed to make some kind of declaration to make him understand my want for him. But once again, my sleeping medication would make my days and nights blend together. I would remember to tell him how much I loved him while I watched him pull away from the house to go to work.

How was I going to complete school with my brain on overload and mush day in and day out? Shit, my brain couldn't even decide what it wanted. Was I overrun with emotions and or nothingness or could I finally get my shit together enough to speak?

Jasper and my father wanted me to see a counselor. Not just someone to talk to but someone who could prescribe me _more_ medication.

_Because sleeping all the time was an excellent way to spend one's existence._ Even my subconscious was a snarky little bitch. I didn't want to be around me, why should I expect Jasper to want to?

All that told me was that I needed to be fixed. I was no longer the dependable one. I was no longer the rock that held her loved ones together.

Isabella Marie Swan. The "most perfect little girl in the world". At least that was what my mother always referred to me as. The five year-old that could learn multiplication and division before first grade. I was the seven year-old that could make her father smile by learning the periodic table in two settings. I was the dutiful daughter of the town's police chief that never embarrassed him, at least not publicly. The plain looking smart girl who somehow held the heart of one of the most beautiful men ever to grace this earth for years on end. The woman who could make him beg for a touch with a simple coy look. Jasper. I was his lover and best friend.

I was none of those things _now_. I was a loser in need of pharmaceutical assistance with her needs as a therapeutic seeker for a broken spirit and damaged thoughts.

I had never thought less of people that needed medication before. Why I thought less of myself for this made me feel less than as well.

Why was my brain fighting me at every turn?

I looked from Jasper, then to my father. These two men I adored and respected like no others. I loved them. They thought I was broken. They weren't wrong, on the contrary they were very very right. I just hadn't expected them to know. I wanted them to over look my problems and let me get through this horrible time quietly.

I had wanted to be like a cat. The way a cat hides when they don't feel well. They hide and either they emerge stronger and healthier or they die. I just wanted nature to take its course with me.

Jasper reminded me that Victoria was coming home. He wanted me to get medication again. The sleeping pills that made me feel like I was drowning weren't enough? Maybe Vic would be on my side.

Mr. Mustachio was the only living soul that just me be.

I was his human pillow. I kept his tummy warm and his ears scratched. He kept me from missing another's heartbeat.

"Alright, tell me everything that happened." Victoria said as she sat down on the end of the bed. I kept Mr. Mustachio with me while I was propped up on a couple pillows to look at her.

"There was this psycho that followed Jasper from Texas and he broke into the house and kind of um, terrorized Rosalie and I for awhile. He killed his brother and Jasper shot him. I broke my wrist and have a couple bruised ribs, but I am okay. You know?"

"Yeah clearly." Vic rolled her eyes at me and took a chance at petting Mr. Mustachio, who had also taken on the roll of ass kicker and immediately bit her. " You little fucker!" She said to the cat and then turned to me with a small smile. "You are kicking ass and taking names there, Baby Doll."

I took in a long ragged breath. I wanted to cry, but I think I was out of tears.

Victoria and I stared at each other for a few minutes. I knew she needed a moment to appraise me and the situation. It was something she did well.

"You need to move."

"I don't want to move. I don't think we could get out of the lease we just resigned anyway."

"Fine we can trade houses. That old bag won't care as long as she gets her grubby little hands on some cold hard cash," Victoria said about our landlady, Miss Zafrina. She was from some far off country . An old lady in the early 1970's. Now she was ancient and pissed off about it. Taking it out on her tenants.

"Okay. But it pisses me off that we should have to move. I love this house."

"It's a house, Isabella. What you need is to feel safe and secure. Will Jasper do it you think?"

I shrugged. Victoria scrunched up her lips piercing them to the side of her mouth. She was deciding how to word something. She knew her inner filter was usually a giant fail so I could tell she didn't want to hurt my feelings. But she would if she needed to.

"Have you guys had sex?"

"Nope."

"How come?" The hot monkey sex conversation of American Furniture Warehouse passed through my brain as she looked at me with a shocked expression.

"Aren't you supposed to ask me _and how does that make you feel_?" I sneered.

"I already know how it makes _you_ feel, Isabella. This guy is your crack, he always has been. Your very own personal brand of heroine," she explained to me with sincerity. "But why haven't you had sex? Is it him? Is it you? Why is Charlie staying here? I mean, I'm sure that's a deal breaker right there, but he could go to a hotel. Were you raped?" she whispered the last question.

I shook my head, but the tears still started to sting my eyes as they started down my cheeks in quick streams. _Guess I'm not out of tears._

Victoria bit her lower lip. "You _weren't_ raped. But this reaction.....um. You resigned yourself to it happening though?"

I nodded in affirmation.

"Okay. Well that explains_ some_ things. Do you feel like it is Jasper's fault?"

"No," I said with a little voice.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It wasn't his fault. It was all so crazy Victoria! This guy comes out of nowhere telling Jasper that Emmett owes him a shit-ton of money, and then we go to Washington and then both Jasper and I get shot! And then we come back and then this happens....the freakin' guy that was in my house that was supposed to take care of us was that crazy fucker's brother!" As my tirade went my voice became louder and Mr. Mustachio ended up jumping out of my grasp.

I looked at my hands which were covered in cat hair. I had been holding him too tightly.

"Oh baby! I am so sorry!" I sat up and yelled for the cat who was already out the bedroom door where he started to lick and the places I had been holding him.

"He's a cat, Bella. Stash'll be fine."

"I hurt everything." I pouted.

"You do? I think you protect and take care of everything. And since the control freak that is Miss Isabella Swan has decided to check out for a little while the world that you guys have set up for yourselves has been kicked off its axis. But that doesn't mean you can't get your shit together."

I threw myself back onto my pillows.

"I have to have sex to do that?"

"Ah, no. It just happens to be your and Jasper's favorite pastime. What I think is that you have PTSD and you need to get into a see a real therapist and talk about it."

"I don't like therapy."

"How do you know? Have you ever done it?"

I glared at my best friend. She really was a giant bitch.

"Nope, you never have. You have never tried talking to someone about being a little girl resting her head upon her mother's breast and her mother succumbing to cancer. You have never talked about being a motherless girl growing up with a workaholic father who spent every spare hour fishing while his daughter threw herself into studies. You have never talked to anyone about your strange bed fellows. You have never talked to anyone about your need to dominate a relationship _except_ with two boys. You....."

"Shut up! Obviously, I have told someone or you wouldn't be throwing that crap in my face. My problem isn't_ all_ that shit. My problem is what happened when that guy shot his brother in front of me and Rosalie and then threatened to rape and murder us."

"Oh, yeah. There you go." She smirked at me.

"Damn, how much would that cost me in therapy?"

"Thousands of dollars and it would take them months. You can get over all of it sweetie. You didn't do anything _wrong, _Bella_!_ Jasper loves you. He and your dad blame themselves so they are coddling you, and you're letting them because you have found a nice safe little spot to feel sorry for yourself in. Get your ass out of this bed. Go take a shower. Get dressed and talk to Jasper. Then tell Charlie to go home. And for the love of God, brush your teeth! You're a grown up."

"Do you still think I need therapy?"

"God yes! You're a mess. You saw a guy shot in front of you and you were menaced. Lord, love a duck, get on some therapy and relax for a little while, trade houses with me, get your shit together and live your life."

I leaned up and gave Victoria a hug.

"Oh, baby doll. This is why Jasper doesn't want to be near you. You are ripe, Hon!" I couldn't help but laugh. The smell of my armpits was really heinous.

I knew deep down that I wasn't fixed but it was nice to be treated like I wasn't spun glass and talked to normally for a few minutes. I knew I needed to pull myself up and get stuff done. Jasper would help me.

I did as I was told. I brushed my teeth, twice. I took a long hot shower and washed everything a few times, because I knew I really needed it. I shaved my legs and armpits. That feeling alone made me feel like a million times better. _Who knew?_

My sleeping pills were still making my system run slowly so I decided to take a nap and fell asleep on the couch with a very forgiving Mr. Mustachio curled up into my almost fatal position. We were keeping each other warm again.

When I awoke, I saw my beautiful man watching me intently from the kitchen entry way. His blue eyes full of concern and love.

I realized I had been drooling and used the back of my hand to wipe the moisture away from my mouth.

"Oh well that must be sexy, huh? Here I was trying to figure out a way to seduce you tonight and I wake up creating a wading pool on the couch."

Jasper shrugged sweetly and smiled lazily at me. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned casually into the frame. He had already changed out of his work clothes and was comfortably dressed in a white Hanes t-shirt tucked into a pair of dark blue Nike running shorts, he was barefoot. The definition of his chest and stomach was emphasized and his erect nipples were prominent.

"Did you talk to Victoria?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, Baby. She thinks we should move."

"She actually offered her house as a trade with us." He nodded again.

"You okay with that?" Jasper asked.

"Um." Was my response and I looked at the ground behind Jasper's feet where Sam had once laid dying or dead. I felt a shiver run through me like ice water in my veins. Jasper noticed. "Yeah. I think that it would be a good idea. Everything is the same except it's got a smaller garage for you."

"She already told me I could keep my cars here, Angel," he said, being very agreeable.

"I'm sorry I scared you and my dad...." I stopped and shook my head trying to will the tears not to come.

Jasper walked over and sat down next to me. He pulled me onto his lap with strong arms and I felt the safety that I had been missing. He didn't fear hurting my wrist or my ribs, he had been so careful since the horrible night, and I didn't want him to be careful. Being held by Jasper meant I was complete. I could do anything, if I had him.

"Don't stop yourself from crying, Baby. Just let it happen."

And I did.

I cried on Jasper's shoulder as he held me until my head was so heavy from a headache that I had to lay down.

JPOV-

When Bella was finally able to start getting some of that shit off her chest it was like the dam had broke. As uncomfortable as crying was for me in the past, seeing Bella finally start to "process" was everything good.

Hell Cat is a fuckin' genius! My touching Bella wasn't about fucking her. It was about loving her. I was good at both for my Angel; I had just been worried about hurting her more.

But Bella wasn't a china doll. She was a tough chick, who just needed to get through some shit.

Charlie did stay a couple nights at a hotel. But being away from Bella, drove him nuts too.

Over the next week we made changes.

We packed and moved to Hell Cat's, and we moved all her shit to our place.

Bella started seeing a counselor that only believed in holistic medicines. Go figure, my girlfriend a chick, not raised by hippies, would go for that kind of doctor? _Yeah, exactly._ Charlie didn't get it either, but we both backed off.

So Bella was immediately taken off her sleeping pills. The doctor who I am pretty sure had just changed her name to Doctor was adamant about the pills.

Bella was happy, or at least finding her way back to happy. She was put on a strong regime of vitamins especially B12, Vitamin D, melatonin, and Niacin. I thought it was all bullshit, but whatever.

To everyone's delight Bella could hold a conversation now instead of being a narcoleptic zombie.

A few weeks later, Bella and I both started classes.

I would be working part time and finishing my degree while she would be working on medical school.

She was suddenly terrified again.

I listened to her talk about her fears in her sleep, until she started screaming that she would fail at least three classes. I decided to wake her up to calm her down, and got my tiger back.

Shit! Who knew a libido could be _that_ pent up. She rode me until I thought my dick was gonna fall off.

The next morning after we both fell back to sleep I was must have looked like the cat who ate the canary because I got a whack upside the head right before I took a razor to my skin for shaving.

"What the fuck? Baby, I could very easily cut myself and scarred up _this_ face."

"Don't think I'm all better because I got a dose of _you_ last night," she said with some mock hostility as she stripped and got into our much bigger shower. Fuck she had lost too much weight during this whole ordeal and still hadn't put it back on. I made a mental note to buy Bella some donuts tonight before I got home and make her eat them before she picked at her dinner.

"Oh, really. I think getting a shot of Dr. Jasper's root juice did you a damn whole lot of good there lil' Miss Smart Ass."

"You know what I need?"

"Another fuckin' dose?" I asked with all seriousness. My dick got hard just thinking about fuckin' her again. I didn't care how damn skinny she was, although, she had lost her ass almost completely. I needed to overlook that bony ass and just get inside her pussy.

"No....well maybe. But I think we need to tell my dad it's okay for him to go back to Forks."

_Thank God._

"What? No comment from the peanut gallery?" She asked from the shower.

"I think it's time he went home too, Baby. He's staying because he was worried."

"I know. But I think I am getting better. Don't you?"

I did. She was. My girl was almost home.

"Bella. You are on your way. You ain't 100 percent though. But I can get you through the rest of this shit."

She was quiet.

"Fuck," I whispered.

I had stopped walking on eggshells since my talk with Hell Cat which meant I said the wrong words frequently. But it still made me feel like a royal bucket of shit when Bella cried.

"Baby?" I finished shaving and walked over to the shower. I opened the door and to see her standing there just staring off into space. "Hey? What the hell?"

"Am I ever going to be back to the girl you love?"

I shrugged and answered honestly. "You never stopped being her."

With my sleep pants still on and shaving cream still on my fingers and a little in my hair, I was dragged into the shower.

I didn't know where this aggressive little chick came from but I did not ever want her to leave. She was hot and needy and everything about her screamed for me. Not that any other time Bella wanted to fuck me wasn't awesome, it was. But this was fuckin' great too. I would take the three faces of Bella anytime!

Bella worked my now drenched sleep pants down exposing my already stiffening cock. She had me in her mouth before my hair was completely wet.

Bella on her knees in front of me makes me a happy man but Bella's wet ass exposed and her on her knees in front of me was actually going to make me come too fast.

"Fuck, Baby. Stand up. I can't..... I need..." She did as I asked. I grabbed her and turned her around so I could pound into her like I had needed to for so long. I pushed inside of Bella bending her over at the waist and started pounding into her. Last night our roughness was met equally and today was no different.

She was too skinny and felt kind of breakable but she wanted it rough, so I did what we both needed and fucked her hard.

Bella's moans were like music I had been dying to hear. Her tiny hands flat against wall in front of her while she pushed her bony ass back against me.

"Fuck, Jasper!"

Charlie! Her dad had to be hearing this. Fuck it. We were adults. Living in sin. It wasn't like the man didn't know.... aw hell, we really needed him to go home. Because I knew Bella was hyper aware now too since her noises were becoming quieter.

I reached around from her right hip and started pulling gently on her clit with my thumb and index finger. I was going to come soon. "Baby," I said as I started to gyrate my hips to get her closer to home plate.

I wasn't gonna be able to wait much longer and my thrusts became more erratic as I felt the pull in my balls.

Suddenly as if on cue I pushed forward hard enough and fast enough that it took her right where she needed and the walls of her tight pussy started pulsating around my shaft milking me.

I leaned forward and started kissing Bella's back.

"I love you so much, Bella," I said into her skin as the water continued to hit us.

She stood up slowly and turned to face me. The look in those doe eyes was all I was ever gonna need.

"Bella?"

She leaned in and kissed my clavicle bone. "Hmmm?"

Bella was nuzzling me like she was trying to capture my scent.

Fuck, I missed this. Her!

I didn't have time to think about it. Time and place could go fly a kite. I needed her to know. I needed to know what she wanted. Right fuckin' now! It was more than words what I needed to ask, but that was all I had.

"I wanna marry you. Will you?"

**AN- WHOA! Lol Even though I am anti marriage right now in RL does not mean a real Jasper could not change that in a freakin heartbeat! **

**Also, If I didn't answer your reviews, I am so sorry, this site isn't sending them to my e mail () anymore, now I gotta go to the site. And just for the record that really annoys me. I forget where I leave off and then I gotta go to different pages. Anyway, I am fail. But you guys already knew that. I really don't know where I was going with that tirade. =D OH YEAH! Thank you for reviewing! This is where it'll happen. In my overly wordy and dumb author notes from now on. PM me and I will answer if you have specific questions. **

**Pimpin- You guys better be reading A Moment Changes Everything! Freakin' awesome, right?**

**Love ya! xodana**


	30. Chapter 31

Disclaimer...SM owns Twilight.

Songs for this chapter... **Love, Save the Empty** by **Erin McCarley** and **Wanted** by **Jesse James** (I have been waiting for this fuckawesome song to be used!)** Love Like This** by** Natasha Bedingfield **

Wanted Chapter 31 BPOV

_What the hell?_

_A freakin marriage proposal in the shower...after we...!_

"Are you kidding me?" I demanded.

I may have said a wee bit more forcefully than intended. Also, my voice was a little more condescending than I meant. I really needed to rein that shit in pronto! I was getting engaged!

_Holy shit! _

"Babe..."

"Babe! You're asking me to marry you? Marry you! In the damn shower after... you asked me after screwing! With my dad in the house? Holy shit, Jasper!" I was shocked and excited, but totally mortified too. "We can never tell anyone how we got engaged!"

Thank God Jasper knew me as well as he did, if he ever got in touch with his feminine side I would be on my knees begging him not to take the proposal back, no matter how half-assed or embarrassing it was.

_We were engaged!_ I could have smacked him we could have at least been dressed for the damn proposal.

My man's smile was bright like the sun and his eyes held that devilish beauty only he got. Shit, he was hot.

"Why the fuck do we have to tell anybody how we got engaged?"

Ah, I do love this man! So handsome yet so completely clueless to Miss Manners.

"Are you serious? People ask this stuff! Your mom! My dad! Co-workers! People like... our future kids!" I started for the shower door. Vic's bathroom was so much cooler that our old one.

As I passed by I saw Jasper's eyes widened slightly when I mentioned "future kids". This might be the only man in America that is totally cool with having a biological clock.

"You haven't answered my question yet," he said coyly.

_Oh, yeah! _ I needed to officially tell him yes. Because there was no other thing I wanted in the world besides being his until the day I died.

He was turning off the water as I grabbed a towel and looked back at him.

What I saw made me stop in my tracks.

I wanted this memory burned into my brain. I never wanted to let go of the way he looked the streams of water still running over his naked making him an exquisite moist luxury. His honey blond hair dark from being wet, looking longer that it should, his sculpted chest drenched, his lean beautiful muscles under his perfectly light tanned beauty that was wholly his and male. Jasper Hale. He was breathtaking and he wanted to marry me.

"Hell yeah!" I answered whole heartedly.

Jasper smiled. That one devastating smile he has. Well, all his smiles are to me. They all pretty much make the elastic in my panties fail, but this particular one, holy shit! This is the one he gets when he really is satisfied. Sex, food, a little more sex kind of smile. The one where he has his version of perfection.

The crinkle around his eyes are non-existent but his eyes begin to glitter, and his lips kind of go crooked, you think it is going to be a smirk but it turns into a genuine smile. He usually licks his puffy lips a lot when he has _this_ smile too. Another added benefit of this particular smile that drives me happily crazy.

I first noticed it that first night we were together in my house after we made love the first time. Before I found out about the Edward and Emmett weirdness. Even though the weekend became a giant pain in the ass, that smile became my favorite. He gave it to me again the morning after he found me at the club, when he told me he had always loved me. He gave it to me frequently before all this bullshit, and now I got it back.

"Should we fuck to seal the deal?" Jasper asked but the smile didn't falter.

"Another thing we cannot tell our guests at the rehearsal dinner. This is not the way to start a marriage, Jasper," I started to scold.

"We aren't starting a marriage, yet, Isabella. We are starting an engagement. One, I hope is short and with frequent fucking. Then we can start the marriage, still not tell anybody jack shit, and continue the fuckin'."

Jasper came over still completely wet, nude, and glorious.

He leaned in and kissed me sweetly and chastely. "Where's the ring?"

"I want you to pick it out." Jasper said quickly.

I smiled widely. He was so full of crap. This was a spur of the moment proposal and it was absolutely perfect.

"Aw, you know what you are? You are a sweet talker. That is what you are," I said as I grabbed a pair of panties pulling them on my body. God, I needed to get new underpants. These were gonna fall off. Was I really that skinny? "Look at this." I showed Jasper motioning toward my body.

He apparently couldn't help it and groped my bare breasts. I looked him with disgust to which he simply shrugged.

"What?"

"Nothing fits."

"You stopped eating, Babe. All you did was sleep. Oh yeah, I need to get you some donuts," he said as he turned to grab his own underwear.

"Huh?"

"We gotta get you fattened up before the weddin'. I need me some cushion for the pushin'."

"Pig!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he smiled.

"Hurry up, Jasper. We gotta get to class."

That started me obsessing, like a little girl, about a wedding from the moment I got into my car until I got home that night.

All I could see now was Jasper in a tuxedo. Which I knew was completely out of the question but still he would look so unbelievable. I was dripping into the crotch of my loose fitting panties. I knew it was going to be a suit and tie if I was lucky from my man.

I sent a text to Jasper to asking him when he was going to tell his mother and sister and subsequently the rest of the gang.

His reply was simple and to the point. _I'm not. You are.~~ J.=)_

"Well, that is just bullcrap," I mumbled when I got his reply while in class.

_Why me? ~~ B_

_B/C, U r better it.~~ J_

_Btr wat?~~ B_

_EVERYTHING. Lol ~~ J_

I couldn't argue with that logic. As class got out I smiled at the text for a few more seconds and then dialed Victoria's number. Even though I would be telling the family our news, Jasper's wimpy ass was gonna have to be sitting next to me when it was done.

"Yellow?" Victoria answered.

"What kind of dorky woman answers the phone with a color?"

"What kind of a major bitch asks a dorky woman a stupid question?" Victoria responded.

I ignored her response, because it was a dumb a my original question as was her greeting on the phone.

"Can you meet me for lunch?"

"I think I could swing that, Baby Doll. Where?"

"Let's go to Applebee's, I am feeling kind of crazy and want an Oriental Chicken Salad," I said with a smile. Because all of sudden I really was hungry.

"Oh, yeah!" Victoria said with mock enthusiasm. "So by crazy, you mean you're gonna eat it or just play with it?"

Once again I opted to ignore her.

"I have news."

"News of global proportions or personal?"

"If it is related to me than it is global," I retorted with a shrug to the strangers I was passing. I was feeling pretty cocky about being an engaged woman and all.

Victoria giggled before answering. "Absofuckinlootly, because now it is global. Because ladies and gentlemen, my Baby Doll is getting her groove back!"

"Aw, thank you ginger Baby Doll!"

"Bitch, I will meet you there in twenty!"

I had a wedding to plan. I didn't care that I had gotten engaged mere hours before. I was planning something, even if it was just a trip to the Justice of the Peace.

Telling Victoria about the engagement was fun.

"Where's the ring?"

"Bitch! He wants me to pick it out."

Eye rolling, "were you guys nekked when he proposed?"

Head? I would like you to meet the desk.

"Vic! Shut up."

"Oh, my good God, you were boning and he proposed."

"I hate you."

"Well I louver you. Now when does he give you his credit card so we can go get you a fuckin' beautiful rockin' ring and some nachos? You know how I love the nachos at the mall," Victoria said nonchalantly, although I knew she was excited for me.

I had to smile at my best friend. Through everything, Victoria was my connection to keeping me grounded, she is my _touch stone_. She was my maid of honor.

The conversation with the parents went well. But it was the talk with Rosalie that was strange.

At first she was very non-committal and that was kind of scary to both Jasper and I.

I watched Jasper as he paced while talking to his twin. He could act like a tough guy all day long except when it came to Rosalie or me as I now know, all bets were off. He became the protector. But I knew he was feeling bad about being wrapped up in all of my problems and we had essentially ignored Rose's.

After about thirty minutes of talking Rosalie apparently did start to respond to Jasper the way one would expect. But I could see the wheels starting to work in his brain just like I knew he had done while I was out of it.

Jasper hung up the phone and I watched him debate with himself silently.

"What are you going to do?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Do you think the non-medication thing helped you?"

"Jasper, everyone is different... I mean we can't say what works for one will work for the other. You were there for me. Maybe Emmett needs to be there for her?"

I had actually been really disappointed in Emmett's lack of interest in Rosalie's stability. That quickly changed when I listened to Jasper talk about how Rosalie had told Emmett to stay away from Forks and her after she went to their mother's house.

_I hadn't known._

Jasper started dialing. I knew once he had an idea in his head he wasn't giving it up, so I walked into the kitchen to heat up the dinner.

Classes started blurring together as the days went by.

Jasper and I settled into a good routine even with my added weirdness of regular counseling sessions with Dr. Heidi London. She looked like a woman who spent a lot of time in trees. You know the kinds of people that actually lived in the old forests of California and Washington to stop logging. The type of person my father and Jasper would refer to as tree huggers or granolas. She was exactly what I wanted. She was a perfect blend of everything I believed in. No chemicals and everything being holistic and with the ability to regenerate within the natural world. My father and my now fiancé both weren't thrilled, but they couldn't argue with the results. I was getting better. I was becoming me again.

Jasper took a couple of weekends when he knew I had a lot of studying and flew home to check on Rose.

Apparently, Jasper's visits were the stuff of legend, because Rosalie wanted to go back to school. The third week weekend Jasper went home.

Well that and the fact that Jasper had found out the Rose wasn't taking her medication except when she felt like she needed it. Which actually caused her to back pedal on her road to recovery.

It was the first time I had been alone since everything happened this summer. I was proud of myself that I didn't have any panic attacks, but I really wasn't alone, Vic came over and we had sleep overs. Jasper thought it was adorable.

I wasn't the happiest little unit when my fiancé made fun of me. But that was okay, too. Doctor Heidi said so. So I was going with that.

Rosalie moved back in with Emmett and Edward, so she could get back into her schedule at U dub.

Jasper made a comment about how quickly Rosalie was coming back to herself in comparison to me.

I simply replied yin and yang. To which he replied that I was a dork.

"Really that's your argument?" I asked while we waited in line at the market to get groceries after he returned home from his final jaunt to Seattle.

"I'm just saying your way isn't better," he replied.

"I never said it was. I just like to do mine without extra chemicals." I started to look around at all the people in line.

"Why?"

He asked so quietly, I almost missed the question.

"Why what?"

"Is it because of your mother?"

Whoa! This is not the conversation I was looking for as we all stood around waiting for the computers to reboot after the freaky hail storm earlier in the day.

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella, you are obsessed with chemicals. Not using anything that doesn't abuse the environment. You will spend more money on all the containers it takes to blend different holistic shit... I just wanna know why? Is it because of your mother?"

I had thought we were talking about mental health. Jasper wanted my life story explained to him?

"I think so."

"Why?"

"Jasper?" I whined.

"Babe, just tell me and I will let it go. You have all your rules and shit and I just want to understand it."

"Yes. My mother got breast cancer, and I remember Dr. Cullen telling my father that the chemicals were what was making her sick."

"The chemo?"

"Yes, the chemo drugs that made her throw up."

"But that still doesn't explain your obsession with not having chemicals in the house."

"I just don't like them. They make me uncomfortable. Why is this an issue for you all of a sudden?"

Why was he being a pain about this?

"Can we talk about wedding plans?" I asked trying in vain to change the subject.

"Vegas. Plans are done."

I rolled my eyes. "We are not getting married in Las Vegas."

"Why?"

Seriously!

"Because you cannot do that to your mother and I will not do that to my father."

"Do you know how much the average wedding costs? And since you are wanting to act like the traditional bride, even though we already live together and I get the milk for free..."

"God, you're being a pig."

He smiled at me.

"I don't care how much they cost. I want us to have a real wedding."

Jasper raised his eyebrows but kept his smile plastered on his face.

"Alright. What does a real weddin' entail? A church, a banquet hall, tuxes and a dress. Yeah?"

"Flowers, cake, rehearsal dinners, food for the actual dinner, champagne, wedding parties..."

"Sweet jeesus!" He exclaimed, "You sure we can't just go to that drive through place in Vegas?"

I was getting tired of this conversation. "We are not getting married in Las Vegas, Nevada. If Pete and Emmett want to take you to Vegas for a bachelor party so you can get grinded on by the very finest hookers at the Bunny Ranch, then go! But..."

"Why would hookers wanna strip or do the bump and grind, wouldn't they wanna just fuck us?"

"I swear to God in Heaven if you don't stop messing with me..."

"Why are you getting so mad?"

"I am making you an appointment with Doctor Heidi..." I turned to look at the cashier trying to ignore my betrothed.

"I swear that woman simply changed her name to Doctor. She really ain't a doctor, Baby. She's like one of them The-a-rapists," he mumbled. Jasper's deducing was giving me a migraine.

We made it home, both of us in one piece.

I grabbed our two grocery bags while he grabbed his black duffel bag that I had first loved and then grown to hate. I thought about getting him a new one for Christmas. This year was going to be our first real holiday season as a couple. We had missed all of the real ones except Easter after we moved in together.

I had to sit down and think about that.

"We've only been together like seven months Jasper," I said out loud.

"Eight, Baby. We've been together almost eight months. That is why I came back and am not going there this weekend. It's your birthday in a couple days. What do you wanna do?"

"Nothing."

"Dinner?"

"Nope."

"Movies?"

"Nah."

"Okay, should I go back to Seattle?"

"Shut up," I snapped like a mean turtle.

That got me a kiss and a tug onto his lap where I snuggled into his chest like a kitten looking to be warmed by body heat.

"I love you," I said quietly once I reached my destination of my arms around his torso and my head under his chin, while Jasper's arms were locked around me holding me tenderly but securely to him.

"I love you too. All I wanna do is be with you too."

We sat for a few minutes listening to each other breath and then I finally spoke up.

"Vegas?" I whined.

He smiled sweetly down at me, "No. Let's have a real wedding. The kind that we can tell our children about."

**AN- Awwww... I luff Jasper! **


	31. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer- I got nothin. She's got it all.**

**Songs to enjoy while reading Jasper- Ordinary Miracle by Sarah McLachlan **and** Just Between You and Me by April Wine **

FYI-** LONGASS AN at the end and pimpin.**

**Mynxi is mai beta and she is moving home soon...* sobs * Come on home baybee! Momma needs a new pair of shoes! lol**

Chapter 32 JPOV

I got my girl back. She was getting stronger everyday. So it was gonna be okay to take a few days here and there this summer to head back to Forks and check on the family.

Momma gave me updates on my sister. My twin. The royal pain in the ass, that I loved not just because I had to. But still leaving Bella even for a second tore at my heart.

Hell Cat and her were gonna play sleep over when I left town so that was good. She wouldn't be alone, and they could watch that dumbass show Bridezillas they were into since we got engaged. Those women were out of their minds. Yes, I am talking about all of them.

As I got off the plane to I was met with my mother's vice grip around my neck and a squeal that would hurt a dog's hearing.

"Holy shit, Momma!"

"Oh, I just am so damn happy you're home!" Then my mother stepped back and smacked me on the shoulder, "where the hell is my soon to be daughter in law?"

"Home! We were thinkin' I should just be with you two crazy women," I answered.

I rubbed my bicep like she had really hurt me.

"You stop that. Now when are you two gonna give me some grand children?"

"Alright, we've been engaged for like twenty minutes you wanna take it down a notch, Momma?"

She shook her head but pulled me closer. My mother was a good foot shorter than me but I still got tugged along willingly. "I don't wanna hear that, I wanna hear the pitter patter of lots of little Jasper and Bella's. Lots of them, you got that?"

I couldn't help but laugh at my mother. She was a crazy woman.

Any of my friends would be panicking right about now, but I had always looked forward to becoming a dad. I knew I would be good at it. I fuckin' loved kids, and I was bettin' I would love mine more, so really there was nothin' to worry about.

Sure my own father had been a useless piece of shit, but I had a great mother that raised me. She made everything that she did seem effortless. I mean I wasn't stupid, I knew the woman worked her ass off twenty-four seven but she was always the best momma. And me and Rose also had our Gran that was so full of love and acceptance there was no way I wouldn't become a good father.

I was a little nervous after Bella heard about Edward and Alice and their little bundle of joy that they both effectively abandoned, but she was just as shocked as me and Rose about that. She wanted kids, she just had time line stipulations, which I was cool with, but I was not about to discuss them with my mother. She would simply make Bella feel bad, and that was not gonna happen.

"Now when we get to the house, don't get all up in Rosie's behind. Alright. She needs you to be a supportive and helpful brother."

"I don't know why you think I would do anything else," I replied innocently.

My mother threw me the stink eye while I drove us out of Sea Tac and we headed toward Forks.

She brought her hand over roughed up my hair. "You need a hair-cut. You're startin' to look like your sister. Too pretty."

"Bella likes my hair long."

My mother mimicked me, "Bella likes my hair long." Then she started giving me a run-down of my twin's behavior.

"She ain't takin' her medication. Harry found out she was actually cheekin' the pills! Like a damn inmate. Lord, I could have whooped her ass. But I was good, I kept my tongue."

I looked at my mother knowing she was lying. The woman couldn't "keep her tongue" if her life depended on it.

"Now don't look at me like that Jared Michael!"

"Jasperm whatever the fuck middle name you made up for me, thank you very much."

"Oh, I don't think Granny ever did."

"I know, Momma. I was only jokin'. But you know Bella didn't take any real medication, she went on a vitamin therapy, and she has really snapped out of it," I was genuinely proud of how fast Bella had come back from zombie land and wanted to share it with my mother.

"Doctor Cullen put us in touch with a wonderful psychologist for Rose. He prescribed what she needs, now that stubborn girl just better do what her doctor says." Momma was adamant.

"Alright. I was just sayin'," I tried to deflect, which my mother could see right through.

"Now son, I love Bella. She's a good girl, I have always thought so, but she has always done things her own way. Now, I respect her and love her for that too, and I know you do too. But, I want Rose going by the book. That is just the way it has got to be. She came home to your momma to get healed and it is my damn way or the damn highway."

When my mother got fired up it was like being in a truck stop in Lubbock, Texas. I fuckin' loved it.

"Alright, Momma. Your way or the highway, I got it," I waved a hand of defeat in the air, wishing I had a white hanky to throw around in surrender.

The rest of the ride switched from talking Rose to Bella and back again. The wedding talk made my mother smile.

My mother was so proud of the girls and even my involvement in the whole situation. When I confided in my mother that I still felt a lot of guilt about what happened she all but blew me off. "Alright, I will give you ten more minutes of feeling bad. Then you need to let it go, Jasper Hale. You made a damn mistake that was completely out of your hands and control after you left Texas. What happened to the girls that night did not and does not fall on _your_ shoulders. Neither one of them blame you," she looked at me pointedly.

I shook my head in agreement. She continued yelling at me. I wasn't sure if this was the part where she said I could feel sorry for myself.

"Alright, everybody survived. Nobody has irreparable damage done. Actually, Rose just needs to get her shit together a little quicker. I think she's enjoyin' this drama just a little too much if you ask me."

I had to laugh, only my mother would be calling out my sister as a drama queen!

"What? She is. Lord, breakin' up with Emmett,_ again_. All that boy does is wait for her. I told her last night, he ain't gonna wait forever. Which I actually think he will,but she still needs to _shit or get off the pot_, when it comes to that boy, if you ask me."

I couldn't help but laugh a hearty laugh which I hadn't had in a long time. I hadn't even seen my sister since she left Colorado, but my mother really did put the world in a perspective that made sense to me.

By the time we arrived in Forks, I was feelin' pretty good about seein' my sister. What I didn't expect was my prom queen sister to actually look like warmed over shit.

Her usually shiny and naturally curly long blond hair was limp and looked like it had a gray or green tint to it, her eye that were usually sparkling blue, looked sallow and she had bags under them just like Bella had. But apparently Rose wasn't sleeping at all in comparison to Bella's near constant state of unconsciousness. Rose was also skinny, way too skinny.

"What the hell Rosie! You look like sh..."

I started to talk and was immediately met with a smack upside the back of my head by my mother.

"Don't you start on your sister," my mother scolded.

I had just spent the last two hours hearing about how my sister needed to pull her head out of her ass. And now I was gonna get shit because I was about to react to the beauty queen looking like a genuine sick person?

"Whatever Momma. Rose, go eat a sandwich and take your damn medication!" I demanded. "And a shower."

I looked over at my mother, who I swear nodded even after she had physically attacked me.

"Geeze, Jared. Can't you be a little more understanding? Bella was all..."

_Yes, I could._ I leaned in closer to give me sister a hug.

"Yeah, I know. But that is why I am here," I whispered in Rose's ear and pulled her into my chest for a hug.

Here in the hallway of my mother's house is where my sister and I made our reconnection, for lack of a better term. Rosie in my arms crying reassured her.

Sometimes that's all you need, that and a mother who is slightly nuts, but who loves us both dearly.

I find myself sitting on the bed in my old bedroom looking at all the shit I collected in high school, While Rose has gone to finally take her shower. I sat looking at my little mementos, indicating my obsession with the shy Isabella Swan. My then girlfriend's best friend and my best friend's girlfriend, now my fiancée and future mother to my not yet created rug rats.

I saved an umbrella from a non alcoholic drink she had at a Chinese restaurant we all went to for homecoming. Bella had gotten the huge fruity drink on the menu as an order from Rose and Alice which Bella hated. It had no alcohol in it but she hated things that were too sweet tasting. I smiled as I thought of my poor girl's face that night. I ended up helping her drink it because she hated the pineapple and coconut juice concoction. She looked green after the first couple sips. It really had tasted disgusting.

I saved everything that Bella touched, even this stupid umbrella with a plastic monkey hanging on it. What a lovesick fool I was.

I smiled as I brought it up to my nose and inhaled hoping her scent was still on it somehow.

"What's that?"

I turn to see my much better smelling twin.

"Stupid shit I saved."

"You and your stalker tendencies."

"Shut the fuck up. You and Alice were always trying to get her to do dumb shit," I answered indignant.

"We were trying to loosen her up."

"Yeah, because fuckin' Edward after only a week was so prude."

"Did it take her that long?"

Rosalie gave me an evil grin before she flopped herself on my bed.

"Shut up," I start to pout.

"So when is the wedding? Can I plan it?"

"Sure, you can plan it. We'll make everything black and emo bullshit, because you can't pull your head outta your ass."

"I don't wanna be all over the place!" Rose practically yells at me as sits up on the bed.

Damn these mood swings. PMS has nothing on bipolar mania.

"Oh really? Somehow, I think you're enjoying this. No responsibilities, no cleaning, no homework, no Emmett, no Edward..." I say without a hint of sympathy.

"Okay, well the no Edward and cleaning part are really enjoyable," Rose concedes and laughs.

I laugh a little with her.

"I just can't wrap my brain around what happened that night, Jasper. We could have died. You know?"

Of course I knew. The two people that I love more than anything, not counting my mother, were in danger. I grabbed the back of my sister's head and brought her to my chest.

"You didn't though, Rosie. You and Bella, fuckin' won. So stop hidin'," I whisper into the top of her wet head.

I felt her nod against me and then the sobs start.

I was able to help Bella, I could help Rose too. I had to. This was my redemption. This was my way of getting therapy, helping my girl and now my sister find their way back to me.

A few weekends back and forth and Rosalie was all better. That is bullshit, my twin was a giant bitch until her medication really kicked in and then she acted like moving back to Seattle was going to give her a third fuckin' head that was growing out of her ass. I was just over it for awhile.

"I need to get back to Bella permanently," I explained to my mother. Who just smiled knowingly at me.

"I know, Baby. Rosie will be fine. You get home and start workin' on my grand babies."

"Can we get the weddin' out of the way first?"

"You can do it however you want this is America in the 21st century, my beautiful boy. But I better hear some damn babies cryin' soon. You hear me?"

"Oh, I hear you. I just don't think you are aware that I am marrying a woman that is going to medical school..."

"You can take care of the babies. Bella can go earn the bacon and let you be a house husband."

"Okay, well she won't be makin' that kind of dough for a while," I said with a smile.

My mother made an exasperated sigh. Finally, she was catching on.

"Well hell. I really need me some grand babies, Jasper. I ain't gonna live forever..."

_Here she goes with her poor momma talk._

I groaned and fell on the couch while Harry and Charlie laughed at me, as they were watching the Mariners game from the matching Lazy Boy chairs I had gotten my mother last Christmas.

"Yeah, Jasper, I'm not gonna live forever either," Charlie joked.

"You talk to Bella about _babies_! That girl will kick my ass," I yelled at Charlie.

More laughter. These people are trying to kill me, I know it.

I was heading back to my girl in a few hours for her birthday. I carried Bella's present in my pocket.

The ring. It felt good to have it now. The engagement would feel real.

A perfect 2 carat round cut diamond in a white gold setting surrounded by another 1/2 carat in smaller stones. It was really pretty, and perfect. It looked like Bella to me. The Bella I had seen that very first day on the steps of the library because of its simplicity, and rockin' big stone in the middle for the kick ass chick she was now.

Charlie said it was perfect for his little girl. My mom and Rosalie both cried so I can only assume that was their stamp of approval. Harry barely looked at it, but still told me it was nice. I really liked that guy sometimes.

I am not going to lie, a quicky wedding in Vegas would be my idea of a dream wedding. We could go get hitched, go back to the MGM fuck for a few hours, gamble, fuck, maybe catch a show, fuck again. But the way Bella and I hooked up in the first place, I knew was one of her reasons for wanting a traditional white wedding.

She deserved it anyway. If I hadn't been such a pussy once upon a time, the orgy would have never happened, because Bella would have already been mine from day one, and I would have never been as dumb as Edward. _Never. _I would have never shared her and I sure as shit would never have let that girl go_. And that is why you are marrying her now. Fuck yeah!_

She will be mine forever.

Bella and I got home after grocery shopping and fighting, which cracked me up in the middle of the 20 Items or Less checkout, I sat on my lap, promising her a real wedding and no Vegas quicky. This moment was perfect for proposing. Besides, I already knew she was gonna say yes.

"Happy almost birthday, soon to be wife," I said as I pulled out the little black box.

Bella's eyes widened and a small smile started to grace her beautiful face as she bit her bottom lip.

"Jasper..."

"Will you marry me, Bella?"

"You already asked me that when we were naked," Bella said coyly looking up at me through her eyelashes.

I smiled, opening the box I took the ring out and grabbed her tiny left hand, I looked at her face to see what I could read in those beautiful brown eyes.

Tears, of course. I shook my head and laughed.

I held up the ring to tip of her left ring finger, "Like it?"

She nodded while the tears slipped down her cheeks quicker. "No tears, Baby."

"Have you not met me?"

She had a point.

I smiled as I slipped it on, it fit perfectly. Although, Bella had tiny hands her fingers were normal size around and she had the same size fingers as Rose, so had been easy to get it sized in Washington.

"Vic isn't going to get her nachos," Bella said before she leaned into kiss me.

"I bet we could still get Hell Cat some nachos. Maybe we'll have a nacho bar at the wedding?" I said with all seriousness.

"I'm not letting you help plan anything..."

I picked Bella up and carried her to our bedroom.

"Do you know how much I love you, Isabella?" I asked as I laid her down on the bed, immediately covering her with my own body.

"Not as much as I love you." She said quietly as she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me closer. She grabbed hold of my hair and finally noticed, "why did you get your hair cut?"

"Momma made me before I left this time," I answered honestly.

I started to unbutton her little blue shirt. Pulling it apart I got an eyeful of a new blue lace and satin bra. "Hmm, what do we have here?"

"Um, oh yeah, Victoria gave me a Victoria Secret gift card for my birthday and told me to buy something practical. You know how picky she can be. I figured these would be practical and still versatile. The panties match. Wanna see?"

"Yes, please," I answered as I went for the waist band of her jeans.

I pulled them apart to see a lovely sight.

"Well, my, my, looky at what we got here. They _do _match." I couldn't help that I was smirking.

"I told you. So you like them?" She asked feigning innocence.

I got up on my knees while I pulled her jeans completely off. "Oh, I _do_ like these. I think I have my new favorite pair," I said honestly and I started to pull them down her beautiful legs.

"Favorite, huh? I always thought you were more of a commando guy." Bella raised an eyebrow at me as I pulled my shirt over my head and looked at her.

"Only for me, Baby."

"Holy crow, Jasper!" She said giggling as she called my bluff and grabbed into the waist band of my pants.

It always made me chuckle when she uses language like that. She was still such a good girl deep down. There was no knocking it completely out of her. I could listen to her sweet innocent language all day.

I was already hard as a rock.

"Lord, Jasper! I can't believe you rode on a plane without underwear."

Bella pushed me on my back. I knocked Butch out of the way because as usual the damn cat was too nosy for his own good. She took off her shirt the rest of the way and unhooked the back of her bra letting her beautiful full tits come into view.

"Aw, baby," I said as I grabbed a handful of her beautiful curves that she was just starting to get back.

Bella wrapped her mouth around the tip of my dick and started to move her tongue in long strong licks. She used the flat of her tongue to give me the full effect. I couldn't help it and grabbed the back of her head pushing her down just a little more. She knew what I needed anyway. Bella always knew.

She took me deep into her throat and then ran her mouth over the shaft again and again. She tiny hand started playing with my sack and she pushed her thumb up against my perineum enough to make me think my balls were gonna explode.

"Shit, Baby! There won't be anything left for you... I gotta fuck you."

I slowly got her to release the amazing awesome suck she had going on me and pushed her back so now I was on top, pulling her legs over my hips and pushing inside of her in one long fluid motion.

Both of let out a gasp and I felt her shutter beneath me.

I opened my eyes and looked into the hot chocolate colored eyes that have always taken me to another world. But now that I saw them only for me I knew that we had made it. We had come all this way, all this shit we survived, to be in this moment right now.

"I love you," I said as I took her lower lip between mine as I continued pulling and pushing myself inside of her heat.

"God, Jasper! I love you so much!" Her fingernails dug into my ass and I started to move faster and with more force letting her breathing and orgasm lead me higher.

"Feel... so... good! Shit! Jasper!" Bella yelled at the top of her lungs.

I let myself go right after that.

As I started to come down from my climax, I kept watching Bella breath.

"What? Why do you look like the cat that just ate the canary again?" She asked as I rolled off of her, and picked up her left hand to look at her ring finger again.

"I don't know I just love it when you scream like that. I always have," I started to chuckle. I knew I wasn't making her mad, most other girls would get all sensitive and hurt by the way I acted in the bedroom. But Bella always accepted me for what I was, a chauvinistic romantic who loved her completely.

"You are the only one that I have ever screamed for."

I looked up at her and smiled. I could tell by her eyes she wasn't lying.

I nodded and kept the smile plastered on my face. Allowing myself to lay back, I pulled Bella into my arms and closer to my chest and she cuddled up into me too.

Perfect. I am a happy man.

_Just Between You and Me By April Wine(written by Myles Goodwin)_

_Time and time again I see  
A love that seemed strong, was not meant to be  
Broken hearts don't always mend  
__Left too unsure to try love again_

Just between you and me  
Baby I know our love will be  
Just between you and me  
Always I know our love will be  
Just between you and me

Lovers often seem to say  
Hearts can be blind to love gone astray  
Always it's the same old song  
Someone's been hurt by a love that's gone wrong

Just between you and me  
Baby I know our love will be  
Just between you and me  
Always I know our love will be  
Just between you,  
Just between you and me

Words are sometimes hard to find  
The silence can be so unkind  
You always help me find my way  
The love that we share grows stronger each day

Just between you and me  
Baby I know our love will be  
Just between you and me  
Always I know our love will be  
Seulement entre toi et moi  
Means that our love will always be  
Just between you and me  
Baby I know our love will be  
Just between you,  
Just between you and me

**AN- Sometimes the lyrics are just too perfect for the scene. Thanks for humoring me...**

**END AN- Um...you guys know that there is like nothing else to say right? We got the epilogue and that pretty much covers this fic. Are you going to yell at me? Jasper and Bella will have their HEA. I will probably do a couple side shots. There are a few characters that need to provide some answers...Laurent and Sam the big a-holes. Maybe something from Hell Cat and Pete's time together in Texas, I think that would be fun. Just a few things, but I'll just add those onto this for those of you who already have Wanted alerted. No reason to get all alert nutty. lol**

**But still lemme know what you thought of this chappy. Please!**

**I want you guys to know I really and truly appreciate all the love and support that I have gotten with this fic. It was ooc/non canon (so I was surprised) and you guys have all been so amazing and kind. **

**Alright, enough with the mush. I will write you guys a kick ass epilogue. I hope! xxood**

**Pimpin- For the Jasper lovah (they are all in my faves at ) that should not be missed!**

**Saving Bella by Mynxi**

**Conflicted Soldier by Rosella Whitlock**

**I Caught Fire by glitteratiglue**

**Dodgeball! by tiffaninichole**

**Safe and Sound by Touchstone67**

**Neverending Math Equation by twanza**

**Finding Forgiveness by Twisted4Twilight**


	32. Chapter 33 Epilogue

Disclaimer- I do not own them, I never said I did, and if I had owned them, well then Jasper would have always gotten to bang Bella. And she would have freakin loved every second of it! haha

Songs for the Wanted Epilogue- **Finally by Fergie** and **Love Remains the Same by Gavin Rossdale**

**Mynxi + beta = AWESOME Thank you for _ALWAYS_ being a great friend to me angel. The Epilogue is dedicated to you my love bug.**

**AN- Thank you to my lil' band of readers! Your kind words have always meant so much to me! This story was originally written as a one shot to cheer up a friend (Marybell ;), and it ended up touching others. So I will forever be grateful! I love you guys so much! I am so happy you guys enjoyed what started out with a hardcore orgy and ended up a love story. Sometimes beautiful things come out of the crazy. ;) I actually lost a few of my original readers when I got into this story, which I will admit broke my heart, but I gained a lot more, and those of you who stuck with it, your loyalty and encouragement has been such a blessing to me! Next up for me is another chapter for SFtD and update of Season Of the Lie (Rogue and the Library) and Protectmett (you'll know why when I post)...lol **

**WANTED**

Chapter 33 **Ten Years Later**

"Mommy!" Benjamin demanded from across the space of our huge yard at me. When I looked over to see the mini replica of my husband at his tent entrance pointing at his father with a look of humiliation and disgust, I turned to see said husband and father looking at me touching his imaginary yet ample breasts on his slightly faded favorite piece of clothing. _ That damn bikini apron_. _God how I hate that thing._

Benjamin even at only six years old agrees that it is embarrassing and has tried over the years to hide it from his father, just like me. Now Jasper keeps it in a Ziploc bag in a carry all fire safe that he keeps under our bed.

I keep my eye on my husband who is blowing me kisses while marking the outside of the breast.

"Still a pig after all these years?" I ask as I walk closer.

The man who looks like he had actually decreased in age starts laughing along with his idiot friends.

"Aw come on now, Baby. Those pregnancy hormones can't still be giving you hell?" he asked as I got closer allowing him to bring me and my baby bump closer to him but protecting me from the grill.

"Wanna bet?"

Emmett starts laughing but says nothing as he keeps in mind that I love to smack people when I am pregnant or getting married.

Jasper kissed my temple.

"How many kids are stuffed in that tent?" Jasper asked.

"I think all of them," Emmett realizes that he and Rose's two sons and daughter are missing. Rosalie was having a deep conversation with her children that were hiding in there although we could not see them.

We just moved back to Forks after all our years in Colorado to be closer to family. My father and Jasper's mother have been throwing guilt trips on us since our wedding ten years ago. In fact they had gone in together on this small piece of property on the outskirts of town which was our wedding present from both of them.

Over the last decade Jasper and I had made trips home to build a small "vacation home" to appease them. Our intention was eventually to come home. And after Benjamin was born it became our main focus.

Our small vacation home grew into a nice size family home as we grew in our careers. Of course Jasper's was much quicker as he was employed through his senior year and was making six digits by the time I finally finished my residency.

Then it was Jasper's turn to go for his dream. He wanted to open his own engineering firm and he wanted to do it back home. So we came home as soon as possible.

You would have thought we won the lottery when we told Jasper's mom. She screamed so loud through the phone Jasper was pretty sure he went deaf for about thirty minutes.

Benjamin although the spitting image of his handsome father was more like me in personality and even had a quiet blush to him when people would tell him about his handsome looks. He was highly intelligent and very quiet.

Him and his cousins have not hit it off over the years. While all of Emmett and Rosalie's children are boisterous and outgoing, our Benjamin is reserved and enjoys a nice color pencil set to create master pieces that Jasper and I utilize as our artwork throughout the house. Heck, Charlie did too. Our son's pictures are awesome!

So although twins Eric and Emily along with their older brother Emmett, Jr, or EJ as Rose and Emmett have nicknamed him are the sweetest and most rambunctious kids, they would drive me nuts.

"You sure you're okay?" Jasper whispers with sincere concern.

I nod. "I'm just a little sleepy."

"Go lay down, Baby. I got everything down here. I don't want that little bundle sucking you out of watching the fireworks tonight." I nuzzled into Jasper's neck breathing in his masculine scent that I could bathe in most days.

I nod and head into the house leaving Jasper to play host. The man is still the easiest going person on the planet. "I wanna burn that apron," I say before I go inside. Jasper simply smiled back at me and played with his imaginary nipples again.

Once I reached the dining room table I checked my cell and see that I have a message from my bestie who after college moved to Texas to make a life for herself with Peter. It wasn't meant to be. And that is why Peter is one of the people laughing outside on my deck with his new bride, Rebecca and my loving husband who's humiliating our son.

Victoria, now in Boston, sent me a slew of new pictures of her husband, Seth's, new baby girl.

The little ginger headed angel, named Isabella is the spitting of her mother and will probably be just as brazen.

I sent a quick text telling Vic how gorgeous my name sake is and that I hope she comes to live with me when her mother starts driving her nuts.

I get an almost immediate response of a promise that Isabella will be shipped to me in a crate if she shows any signs of _my sluttiness_. I had to laugh out loud. Out of the two of us, I turned out to be the good girl. She has still not let me forget anything of my early college days before Jasper strolled back into my life, nor would I ask her for anything else. Victoria kept me honest. I would forever love her for that. She and Jasper found a mutual adoration and respect for each other as well. Another thing I will always be grateful for.

I am currently in the middle of my eighth month carrying our second child and we found out we are having a girl this time. She had been playing shy up until the middle of my sixth month.

Jasper's happiness was palpable in the exam room when he saw his "daddy's girl" heartbeat flutter on the screen.

"That's my other girl in there," he whispered to me. Jasper had quickly but gently rested a hand on my abdomen and leaned into my bump to kiss just above where the gel had been rubbed across my exposed flesh.

"Well I guess daddy is happy. Is mommy?" The ultra sound tech asked me. I simply smiled and started crying.

_Of course I was happy._ We had another healthy baby to look forward to.

Jasper held my hand as we walked to the car from the doctor's office knowing I would talk when I was ready. Besides he was floating on cloud nine. The man had wanted us to have so many children he once asked me to just become his submissive so he could keep me barefoot and pregnant after Benjamin turned six weeks.

Jasper was made to be a father. He absolutely adored every single aspect of it. From his fearlessness while I gave birth, to stinky spit up, to baby fevers, to every diaper he could change he would do it happily. He actually pushed me out of the way a few times insisting he did it better. Benjamin had my back when he was just a month old and peed directly into his father's face on one particular night. I had to high five my little guy as his father spit and shook his head at the other side of the Curious George covered nursery.

I took in the beautiful home we had created for growing family now. Although, we had moved up in the world while we were in Colorado, we kept up nicely with the "Jones'" as it were. Something was missing after Benjamin was born. We had lived comfortably with Jasper's income while I had finished my medical degree and residency. But we were always meant to live a little more simply. It was just who we are. Jasper and I will always be beer, we were never meant to be champagne. It always just felt like we were "faking it" when we moved around the fancier social and living circles in Denver.

Forks was home. It was where we belonged.

Esme Cullen had been gracious enough to be our interior designer after we finished our house last year. She agreed to a six month time line for us and we were able to arrive on time into our home while I was still not too far into the pregnancy and could relax throughout it. Apparently, I was at least going to be a stay at home mommy for a little while. Jasper was fearful that I would be having a dangerous pregnancy after I turned thirty. When it came to his family that was the only time he became a worrier, especially since I was only 31 years old. The same as age him. _The freak_.

Cullen Designs created lovely color schemes of cinnamon and cocoas and nuances of reds and soft yellows throughout the house that represented Jasper and I very well. The fact that Esme had known us both as teens I think gave her a better insight into our likes and dislikes than some of her other clients. She was wonderful and she had her protégée in Elizabeth, now fourteen as her assistant and a ready and willing baby sitter for us.

Elizabeth was a sweetheart and had also been our flower girl when we married in Forks ten years ago. She was a willowy four year-old who was a breathtaking image of both her natural mother and father but she acted like a small version of Esme with a quiet elegance and charm.

Esme and Carlisle had been so touched when we asked about Elizabeth being in our wedding they had both broken down into tears in front of us. I couldn't understand at the time, but their love of the little girl and having the world accept her as their daughter had meant a great deal to them. The truth was at the time, I was as apprehensive as Jasper about having a piece of Edward and Alice stand up with us at the wedding. We had done it as a favor to my father, but Rose gave some unexpected advice that resonated through us before we asked Esme and Carlisle for Elizabeth to be our flower girl.

"You guys know it just means the past is washed away," Rose said with unwavering ease, almost like she was Yoda suddenly. "She isn't Alice and Edward's mistake. Elizabeth is Carlisle and Esme's little girl. A couple of people who loved you both when you were kids. So why wouldn't you want their little girl to represent a piece of_ that_?"

"When the hell did you become Mother Teresa?" Jasper asked his sister.

"I prefer to be compared to Oprah thank you very much. The Mother Teresa thing is just too much pressure," Rose responded and took another shot of vodka.

Our wedding was three days after Christmas almost exactly one year after Jasper and I and ….well everyone else got together the year before. I was subconsciously trying to clear my conscience, which apparently everyone in my life that was aware of that night of debauchery did not care to over look or cease mentioning it to me on a constant basis. I took the ribbing from Emmett with a grin. I got drunk with Victoria and Rosalie and was called a slut repeatedly by both of them. But I smacked Edward for bringing it up. I don't know why it seemed appropriate for some reason. Even when he wasn't saying anything, I would smack him just when as I passed by.

Now, if anyone wonders how one gets a Christmas wedding planned in less than three months, they have never met the women of Forks. Those women can only be called small town hicks so many times before their true personalities come out. They are bridal party maniacs.

Carol and Sue Clearwater had the church and reception hall set up for us with decorations and food within a week of us simply suggesting the possibility of getting married that quickly. The cake was designed and samples were sent to us by Mrs. Cope the owner of the local bakery who insisted on making all of the cakes and hors'doruves for our event.

My father made one and only one request, that I wear my mother's wedding dress, which I readily agreed to over the phone, sight unseen. It had always been one of the things he kept locked away after she died when I was a little girl. I had never even seen pictures.

So my measurements were dispatched through an email to Sue for sizing. I was given weekly updates as to how the plans were going from my overly excited soon to be mother in law. The same woman would also not so subtly hum a lullaby to me, persistently. Rosalie made it her priority to find me a veil. I thought it was kind of a random request but it seemed important to her, so I thanked her over the phone one late night we were both studying. I also had rearranged the bridal party since Jasper felt it necessary to have Emmett as his best man and Peter as a groomsman, I asked Rosalie to be my maid of honor, with Victoria as my bridesmaid.

My wedding dress was modest, simple, and sweet. Just like I had always pictured my mother. A floor length lace over satin off white dress, a sweetheart bodice with a semi sheer neckline filler with lace decoration culminating in a small lace stand neckline. When I saw it for the first time I quietly wept in Sue's sewing room then when my father saw me in it for the first time he sobbed uncontrollably. We were all happy I tried it on for him before the actual wedding day. My poor dad actually needed to take a nap after that.

Emmett and Rosalie had also caught the matrimonial bug and got engaged over Thanksgiving break that year.

Edward was still a manwhore idiot. But other than smacking him whenever I saw him and him laughing about it, we didn't have much contact before, during, or after the wedding.

That is not to say Jasper and Edward didn't. We have the wedding pictures to prove it. The two idiots apparently got into a couple fist fights in the middle of some strip club in Las Vegas where Jasper was having his bachelor party two days before our nuptials. They had left late Christmas night and I knew deep down it was a mistake. But Emmett, Peter, and Eli all assured me that it would be okay, as they were meeting Jasper's co-workers and boss there. _Yeah right._ Bunch of drunken dumb asses surrounded by too much alcohol and cheap gyrating nameless pussy.

While me and the girls stayed at my dad's house and played poker, drank, and watched Internet porn. We had a blast while those idiots all came back to town looking like crap warmed over a giant camp fire.

_Yeah, so that was fun._

The wedding itself was small and charming, just like we had wanted it. Even with Jasper's scabbed over split lip I couldn't not kiss him when I reached him waiting for me at the white rose covered alter in at the All Denomination Christian Church of Forks on Main Street when I let go of my father's arm and grabbed onto Jasper's like he was my life preserver.

Reverend Webber made the comment about waiting until the end of the vows for a kiss like that, which got our audience laughing and me blushing profusely.

Four months after our wedding Emmett and Rosalie had found their way to a quick wedding at City Hall in Seattle. After her bout with the springtime flu, which I told her was another way of saying she simply forgot to take her birth control; she called me a fucking bitch, but was confirmed the proverbial bun in the oven, eventually known as Emmett, Jr..

When she called me to tell us when to be at City Hall after she confirmed her pregnancy whether Jasper and I wanted to attend or not, I laughed about the shotgun part of it her wedding. Rosalie told me that I would be in her shoes soon enough even if she had to damage my birth control to prove her point so I stopped laughing immediately.

When I told Jasper about my own pregnancy several years later, I did not handle it well. I had run out of the bathroom carrying a small pink and white wand which I had just urinated on while he was cooking dinner.

"I peed!"

Jasper turned to look at me with confusion.

"That's great, did it come out your ear?"

"No! Look!" I was screaming and crying at the positive sign on the piece of plastic that had become my ruination.

Jasper walked over slowly, grabbed the offending object from me and looked seriously at the small window of knowledge that it carried with it.

"Huh," was all he said.

"That's it?"

"A baby," the smile started to creep up his face. That one that he got, the one that meant trouble.

"I am in the middle, Jasper! Literally in the middle of my medical degree," I said through sniffles.

"So what? Women do this shit all the time," he said as he walked by me to the bathroom. I watched him disappear into the bathroom and I heard the plastic hit the sink, as he washed his hands.

Jasper walked back out and stood drying his hands looking at me with a concerned expression.

"You don't want it?" he accused. His blue eyes full of hurt.

I slammed myself onto the couch and started crying harder.

Of course I wanted our baby!

Jasper walked over sitting down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him. I felt safe and warm here, everything made sense when Jasper was near.

"I'm just scared," I admitted my voice shaky.

"Scared, I can handle," he whispered. I could feel the happiness radiating off of him.

I nodded into his shoulder and he let me just cry until the shock wore off and we could actually enjoy the idea of becoming parents.

Just like so many times before with us, Jasper was already where we needed to be, and he waited patiently for me to catch up.

Snuggling into our bed, I hugged Jasper's pillow close to my face breathing in his scent that still lingered on the fabric. Mr. Mustachio making his presence known by taking over mine with his fat body.

"Hey, there big boy," I said to my favorite feline. He began to purr before grabbing my hand with giant paws to bite my fingertips. He loved me being pregnant. His favorite perch was currently my protruding midsection.

I then listened for the next group of friends or family that were showing up. Jasper was an admirable host and since we had re-embraced our love of the easy life, our friends and family could relax and really enjoy themselves in our home.

I started to get up, really, but was quickly pulled into a deep and comfortable sleep listening to the low purr of Mr. Mustachio who was still next to me.

_My dream started simply enough, me walking through my father's house waiting to be taken to the church for mine and Jasper's wedding. I was wearing my mother's wedding dress again but now our daughter's baby bump was protruding from beneath it._

_My mother sat quietly next to me as I placed my hand over my stomach._

"_It's a girl," I told her smiling._

"_I know. I told you when you got pregnant with Benjamin that you would have a daughter someday too." My mother spoke with quiet comfort. I had dreamed about her repeatedly when I was pregnant with Ben. She agreed with Jasper that the name Benjamin was perfect while I had still wanted Jasper to consider his real name of Jared._

_My mother came to visit me in my dreams a lot during my pregnancies._

_I figured my mother was here now to help me choose a name for our daughter._

"_I have been thinking of the name Claire. What do you think?"_

"_I like that name Bella, it's very old fashioned and pretty," she said._

"_What about a middle name?"_

"_I think Jasper has a perfect idea for a middle name. You should let him tell you," she answered. It was difficult to hear my mother in my dreams, I would sometimes get frustrated. She would always try to make it easier, but since I couldn't remember the sound of her voice anymore it was like I was listening to a whistle through leaves when she spoke._

I was feeling insecure and wanted my mother to tell me I was doing a good job, when I was suddenly being shook awake and looking at two sets of beautiful blue eyes.

"Mommy, are you okay?"

"Ben wanted to check on you, when he heard you talkin' he got nervous and came to get me," Jasper smiled from behind our little boy where he was leaning with his usual ease in the doorway.

"You know I talk silly in my sleep buddy."

I held out my arms for Benjamin to get on the bed with me.

Benjamin climbed in to the bed and snuggled up beside me, "Yeah, but I thought you were sad, Mommy." My sweet angel looked up at me with his innocent brilliant crystal clear blue eyes.

I pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head as I smiled up at Jasper.

He came to sit by us and looked at the two of us. "Claire?"

I nodded and smiled.

He pushed his lips together and let his lips create a small smile while he pushed Benjamin's too long curls from his eye. Then proceeded to push my brown hair away from my forehead and rub his thumb down my face and my jaw line where he softly caressed my lips.

"Claire Renee Hale," he said quietly and then leaned down and kissed my stomach.

_~Fin~_


	33. Wanted Nominated for a Glove Award

**Wanted** has been nominated for a Glove Award...in the Best OOC category.

Thank you to whomever nominated the story!

If you would like to vote at these fan fic awards voting opens on

August 5, 2010 at this website~~~

./

Love you guys, xoxoxdana


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